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What do your Thai neighbors really think about you?


Darren McKenzie

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I dont care what people think of me if we are not friends or have some kind of relationship, in this case neighborly. I have a neighbor upstairs in my condo who loves me and my wife. She is always giving us cakes or some shit. She likes to show off her wealth, and that is ok, the relationship is superficial.

Other Thais in my building and I have no relationship beyond passing in the lift. I am on the board of directors so I know their details - etc.

The one thing that does still bother me a small bit is getting into the lift no one will say anything. I tried saying nothing but after a while I just resigned myself to being to being the one to introduce a bit of farang culture and say "hi" or "good morning" or "good night" as I leave the lift. If they dont speak English sometimes I say Sawatdii or just smile and if it is a distance I wave. I consider this polite behavior even in Bangkok culture. The more sophisticated the building or situation the more cultured even non- English speaking Thais are in terms of greetings.

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In a new neighborhood, so not really sure what my neighbors think of me, as it's a bit of an isolated community. However, if I had to guess, I'm quite confident they don't give a <deleted> about me, and don't put much thought into me at all. As long as I keep my dogs inside at night, I'm pretty sure they don't give a shit about me.

Now if my old neighbors didn't like me, they sure had a weird way of showing it. Coming over with plates of food when they cooked a nice meal, picking things up from the market for me, talking to workers for me, giving me lifts into town, etc. Maybe they were just doing all that to spite me, I'm sure.

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My neighbors worship me everyday. First in the morning they line up to tell me how awesome it is that I live next to them.

Afternoons is mostly spending their time making sure that I am happy.

The evenings are spent being fed and bathed. Day in and day out.

Get a real life OP!

That is the bar minimum good neighbors should do biggrin.png

And you forgot to add, that every evening one neighbor should donate a bottle black label.

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Far as i know they like me ,the women certainly like my wife as they talk quite a bit ,when they go away they always bring us a present back and at xmas give us gifts , they all seem decent people and all speak some english ,perhaps its because they are all quite well educated and are buisness people ,as for the the poorer people who live outside the gates i dont know ,how would you feel if you were quite poor and you see the gates to the "posh" village slide open and farang ot Thai's in nice cars drive out taking their kids to private schools or going off to the shops with money in their wallets and purses that you could only dream of having?

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My neighbors worship me everyday. First in the morning they line up to tell me how awesome it is that I live next to them.

Afternoons is mostly spending their time making sure that I am happy.

The evenings are spent being fed and bathed. Day in and day out.

Get a real life OP!

That is the bar minimum good neighbors should do biggrin.png

And you forgot to add, that every evening one neighbor should donate a bottle black label.

..... and his daughter!

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My neighbors are nice and always polite. I went with one of them to grab a beer in a nearby bar during an electricity shutdown in my condo. The other neighbors seems to be polite and we have some basic chat in the elevator when I meet them before going to work. I don't think they want me out or hate me.

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I don't care what my neighbours think of, me. It's better if they smile, but I don't really care if they don't.

 

They also don't know what I think of them (I don't spend time speculating on what they do, or don't, get up to in their lives). I doubt that they care either. 

 

They prefer it if I smile, but they don't really care if I don't.

Thank you for your intelligent and sensible reply. Why sit around wondering what they are thinking? Who cares anyway? It is their life. If they want to spend their time badmouthing their neighbors, it is up to them. But, what a way to spend your days. Better for you to live your own life, be polite and helpful whenever you can, and not be too concerned what they do or don't think of you. In my case, I could give a rats a.. Some people here are very provincial, and they were subject to a nationalistic agenda. Not sure any of their opinions are based on anything objective, or just a prejudice. It does not concern nor affect me one iota. I love my life here, and try to associate with kind and supportive people. There are plenty of them around if you look to them.

Sent from my GT-N5100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

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In a new neighborhood, so not really sure what my neighbors think of me, as it's a bit of an isolated community.  However, if I had to guess, I'm quite confident they don't give a fuc_k about me, and don't put much thought into me at all.  As long as I keep my dogs inside at night, I'm pretty sure they don't give a shit about me.

 

Now if my old neighbors didn't like me, they sure had a weird way of showing it.  Coming over with plates of food when they cooked a nice meal, picking things up from the market for me, talking to workers for me, giving me lifts into town, etc.  Maybe they were just doing all that to spite me, I'm sure.

 

They obviously like you. I have found a lot of people in the provinces who genuinely like foreigners, and they did not buy into the "all foreigners are stupid" hogwash. So, the warmth you are feeling is true, and real. No sense in polluting your mind with nonsense. Some like you and some don't. So, who cares?

Sent from my GT-N5100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

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I think the OP has issues!

Maybe he leads a very negative life and justifies this by assuming we all create the same problems for ourselves that he had?

His previous posts ( listed by others on this thread ) all lead me to believe he has done things to warrant what he is experiencing or is just imagining them.

Maybe the best advice is " Please don't feed the troll"!

Thank you

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DARREN

With a post like this I have to ask what do other expats think of you.

Personally for me I have lived in 2 different areas and can tellyou that I have been made welcome by them all.

I think as has been said it is your personality that makes the difference.

I say a hello and smile all the time.

If I can help them I do.

I play with the neighborhood kids.

I bring a bottle of whiskey with me when I sit down to drink with them and not just drink their beer or whiskey.

The bottom line that I have found in every country outside North America is treat others the way that you want to be treated and they will.

Treat them like crap that is what yu are going to get. TREAT THEM RIGHT and they will do the same for you.

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Sometimes my Thai neighbors bring me food they cook and its good. They smile at us and always say hello. We give them food we cook and they like it. We share in buying cat food for the soi cats. I think they like us and we like them. What ever else they think it must be good and we think of them in a good way. My neighbors in America never did that.

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I have found a lot of people in the provinces who genuinely like foreigners, and they did not buy into the "all foreigners are stupid" hogwash.

No, no... apparently I'm an absolute genius, because I can do things like calculate (500 - 286) in my head. :)

I give leeway to the older ladies for needing a pen, paper, and calculator to figure out how much I owe, and how much change I should have. But come on, when their 20-something kids are running the store, they should be able to do that in their head.

heh, in my old neighborhood our next door neighbor had a little store, which virtually became our pantry. We were there many times a day. Every weekend my neighbor would head out to visit the family, and leave her son in charge, who's also going to uni. I'd grab what I want, put it on the counter, and the conversation would go something like:

Him: "I don't know, how much is all that?"

Me: "Ummm, 212 baht" *hand 300 baht over*

Him: "Ok, how much change?"

Me: "88 baht"

Him: "Ohhh, ok. Kawp khun kap".

lol

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my neighbours have no idea and that is just fine. they don't understand what i do in thailand, why i am here and not in my home country, why i never meet with family or other farang, etc. besides that we are all "puan baan", eat together, laugh together. probably they speak behind my back like they speak behind each others back, gossip abounds i reckon but i don't care at all. life is too short to worry about stuff like that.

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Wow....what an OP....

I know what my neighbors think about me because I interact with them. Just had a few beers with two guys across the street last night. They like to sit out on their pickup and drink whiskey (they don't play music and speak relatively quietly). I was on my way back with some beers, so I sat down with them. One guy was into football, so we talked about that for a while, premier league, European leagues and, eventually, the Thai teams. Then he told me about his work, etc.--just a regular conversation.

The people in the stores like to chat when I buy something and one clerk enjoys speaking some English when she can. The neighbor to my left doesn't really look at me or anything, but she is kind of an ice queen in general (have never seen her smile to anyone) and her husband is from my wife's village, so my wife and him get along. Lady and her son on the right are very private and are either inside with everything shut or they get in the car and go somewhere. Guy in the next house down just smiles and I smile and nod. Never said a word to each other, but that seems like an acceptable relationship. I don't bother him in any way--I am just "the falang who nods and smiles" as far as he is concerned. An old, kind of crazy (but nice) woman figured out that I can speak a little of one of the minority languages around here and always invites me to speak it with her and her friends. Have even kicked a ball around with some of the neighborhood kids who think it is cool that this foreigner is playing on their side.

So, yeah....pretty much the opposite of the OP. Maybe try talking to them and treating them like humans first?

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Depends if you and your family interact with other locals and if that is what they do.

In our village I'm one of two farang, I get involved during harvest (on the stack and feeding the thresher) go to house parties for whatever event and talk to people and my peers while I do whatever I'm doing. I feel accepted and liked as far as they can understand me.

The other farang, with whom I'm friendly and often talk does not interact with the village at all, only leaves his room to drink beer in a nearby town. He is the butt of many jokes and does not feel welcome at any of the social events that bind Thai communities the size of our village.

The answer to this simple question does not have a simple answer as village life is different from that of an anonymous city or a gated village where in my limited experience neigbors don't see neigbors.

I suggest the key test is do you know Thais to talk to that you have not been introduced to via your partner. My pride is being with my wife in the town and getting a toot and wave from someone I know (cute young lady from the fitness club) driving past and wifey asking "who the hell's that !"

Integrate not Isolate. rolleyes.gif

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Far as i know they like me ,the women certainly like my wife as they talk quite a bit ,when they go away they always bring us a present back and at xmas give us gifts , they all seem decent people and all speak some english ,perhaps its because they are all quite well educated and are buisness people ,as for the the poorer people who live outside the gates i dont know ,how would you feel if you were quite poor and you see the gates to the "posh" village slide open and farang ot Thai's in nice cars drive out taking their kids to private schools or going off to the shops with money in their wallets and purses that you could only dream of having?

I would mug u or burgle your house lol lolclap2.gif

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