Thai insensitivity continues..

[Benmart]

There are ways and means in these things.

It is easy to respond in kind which means you are dragged down to the level of play-ground exchange of insults, as farang you should aspire to play a different game that so out wits the Thai (who is used to getting a reflected insult in return it makes no difference) that you both "win" and leave them speechless.

The last time in Thailand I did this was on a crowded late night train out of Khon Kaen, a similar robust women and one child occupied four seats (I am the only farang in the carriage - probably the train) and none of that standing Thais would attempt to take a seat there. (I've secured seats for my wife and kids together elsewhere in the carriage so I can play the dumb farang and sit down.) All hell breaks loose with much swearing and ticket waving. The ticket inspector comes along and agrees my ticket is not for that seat but my seat "somewhere else" on this very full train will be occupied by someone else so he moves on.

Some 45 minute letter my station arrives and I alight, taking just a moment to point out to the mother/grandmother the child seems to have a cancerous growth as his head does not look right, I get through in broekn Thai.

Sows a seed of mental doubt that will out weight the barrage of abuse I had for taking an empty seat. I win.

Interesting tactic, although I would have opted for a smile and a wave goodbye.

[Benmart]

Regardless of whether the OP is fat/ugly whatever, I have seldom seen a Thai that does not think they are stunningly attractive. Stand a Thai in front of a mirror and they will check themselves out for hours, mentally wondering who that stunner is looking back at them in the mirror.

You must have seen me at Central. I was counting the wrinkles and gray hairs growing out of my nostrils. LOL. I've seen numerous Thai ladies and men doing that and always wave at them in the mirror. It never fails to get a laugh from them.

[kurnell]

Regardless of whether the OP is fat/ugly whatever, I have seldom seen a Thai that does not think they are stunningly attractive. Stand a Thai in front of a mirror and they will check themselves out for hours, mentally wondering who that stunner is looking back at them in the mirror.

You must have seen me at Central. I was counting the wrinkles and gray hairs growing out of my nostrils. LOL. I've seen numerous Thai ladies and men doing that and always wave at them in the mirror. It never fails to get a laugh from them.

At Starbucks Emporium (1st floor) there is a great spot to sit and drink a coffee while the Thais walk by checking themselves out in the mirror on the way past..."hello sexy!"

[Benmart]

What do you have against Cambodians?

Me? None.

But calling a Thai one in a verbal exchange is sure to get them, shall we say, a bit hot under the collar.

Hot under the collar? This kind one upmanship stategy does nothing but resulting in a round of tit for tat. Where does it end? Probably not very well.

[yingyo]

What do you have against Cambodians?

Me? None.

But calling a Thai one in a verbal exchange is sure to get them, shall we say, a bit hot under the collar.

Hot under the collar? This kind one upmanship stategy does nothing but resulting in a round of tit for tat. Where does it end? Probably not very well.

Yes, that was the joke.

If the tit is reffering to a Thai as 'Mun' and then calling them 'Khon Kampucha' (Cambodian).

The tat is going to the closest thing to them hitting your head repeatedly until you are dead.

Edited October 20, 2013 by yingyo

[Benmart]

There is a lot of jealousy in Thailand as I've learned after being here for a while. This jealousy shows up in subtle ways and, as the OP found out, not so subtle ways. The old bag is unhappy with her life, she sees a happy farang+Thai family and she just has to say something negative about you to make herself feel better. These people are small-minded and don't deserve any of your time...getting angry at them is giving them time. Just ignore them and move on. My 2 cents.

Thailand does not have a monopoly of poor behavior and bigotry. I've been around the planet a bit and in general people are ok. The small percentage of "other types" can't be avoided, but I remember the nice people much more vividly than the not-so-nice. You are right in keeping the anger factormin check, ignoring the bores and moving on.

Life is much sweeter when you bypass the nettles and thorns. Just my two Bahts worth.

[Benmart]

What do you have against Cambodians?

Me? None.

But calling a Thai one in a verbal exchange is sure to get them, shall we say, a bit hot under the collar.

Hot under the collar? This kind one upmanship stategy does nothing but resulting in a round of tit for tat. Where does it end? Probably not very well.

Yes, that was the joke.

If the tit is reffering to a Thai as 'Mun' and then calling them 'Khon Kampucha' (Cambodian).

The tat is going to the closest thing to them hitting your head repeatedly until you are dead.

I see. Sorry for taking it in the wrong context.

[HeavyDrinker]

"Understanding the language" does not equate to classy.

Responding to poor behavior with even worse behavior is definitely not the way I was brought up.

I probably would have looked directly at the old lady and winked at her.

If anyone insulted my other half in England, they'd get more than a wink and it's happened, and I'll wager to more than a few of us.

You must be pretty gutless....

[NewlyMintedThai]

"Understanding the language" does not equate to classy.

Responding to poor behavior with even worse behavior is definitely not the way I was brought up.

I probably would have looked directly at the old lady and winked at her.

If anyone insulted my other half in England, they'd get more than a wink and it's happened, and I'll wager to more than a few of us.

You must be pretty gutless....

What do you do, head bang them? How...classy.

[HeavyDrinker]

"Understanding the language" does not equate to classy.

Responding to poor behavior with even worse behavior is definitely not the way I was brought up.

I probably would have looked directly at the old lady and winked at her.

If anyone insulted my other half in England, they'd get more than a wink and it's happened, and I'll wager to more than a few of us.

You must be pretty gutless....

What do you do, head bang them? How...classy.

I defend my loved ones especially when people (like you) make stupid assumptions about them.

While I realise your wife probably looks like a pure virgin, once back in the west you'll always get some bellend making the old 'mail order' comments...

How do you react? With a wink...? I bet she'd love that...

[NewlyMintedThai]

Who's making the assumptions now? I'm not even married!

And we're not talking about someone saying someone's a whore...we're talking about someone saying "look at the giant white guy".

[NeverSure]

Calling someone fat, or saying they are a "white giant" in this case, does not carry the same level of insult as it does in the West.

People here remark about appearances in a much franker manner here. It's a different culture, remember.

In any case, if no insult or malice or insult was intended --as I doubt it was -- none should be taken.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

I hear you, but I'm going with the Thai wife. We can speculate all we want as Westerners, but the reaction from the Thai wife who is part of the culture and obviously totally fluent in Thai is good enough for me.

Unless the Thia wife is a total hothead in public which I doubt knowing Thais a little, it was a bloody insult.

As a Westerner I would let it roll off my back, but the Thai wife didn't choose to.

When I want to chew out a Thai, I use obscure English words they aren't apt to have heard before, or a combination of languages so they can't understand what I said. They can only read my tone and the look on my face.

[HeavyDrinker]

Who's making the assumptions now? I'm not even married!

And we're not talking about someone saying someone's a whore...we're talking about someone saying "look at the giant white guy".

You were.

You were assuming the OP's wife is ill bred, a bar girl etc for doing pretty much what a loving spouse should do.

Thanks for going 6 pages on a topic you're not even qualified to comment on.

Edited October 20, 2013 by HeavyDrinker

[NewlyMintedThai]

I shall make sure to consult you before posting again, so you can tell me what I'm qualified to comment on.

[HeavyDrinker]

I shall make sure to consult you before posting again, so you can tell me what I'm qualified to comment on.

I shall dear boy seeing as you've been ripped apart here....again...

[sustento]

Is this a contest?

[puukao]

First mistake: Being in Phuket.

Second mistake: caring

Third mistake: blogging about it

Fourth mistake: still not over it

this is the LOS......enjoy.

[David48]

Is this a contest?

Sadly, for some, it is.

For me, I enjoy the Banter here, but never the Brawling ... that tends to become personal.

[sustento]

Is this a contest?

Sadly, for some, it is.

For me, I enjoy the Banter here, but never the Brawling ... that tends to become personal.

+1

And you end up with wet shoes too!

[Thai at Heart]

It is only getting a tiny bit worse, step by step, drip by drip every day. Basic daily nicety and simple human respect is getting eroded here every day.

just like it has eroded ages ago in the west. the world is like that. end of story.

Well you say that, I've been back in the UK for a couple of months now, and I nor my kids have been called a single name yet.

Either to our faces or under shrines anyone's breath....

I keep asking my kids if anyone in school had even noticed that they are half Thai. Not one comment yet....

[Thai at Heart]

"Understanding the language" does not equate to classy.

Responding to poor behavior with even worse behavior is definitely not the way I was brought up.

I probably would have looked directly at the old lady and winked at her.

If anyone insulted my other half in England, they'd get more than a wink and it's happened, and I'll wager to more than a few of us.

You must be pretty gutless....

What do you do, head bang them? How...classy.

Indeed. In Greece someone sidled up to my wife and muttered something about Thais being available.

I didn't need to get involved actually. She handled it quite well with a can of tuna. Are you genuinely saying it's fair game for people to insult people with impunity?

[Maestro]

A troll post and the replies to it have been removed.

[snake24]

Man this thread is funny as hell.

[planetdweller]

Being fat is a weighty issue wherever one goes.

[Maestro]

Troll post in an unrecognisable language removed.

[hhgz]

I agree with you that your wife's comment was inappropriate. Not every comment requires a response.

[Somtamnication]

An uneducated, tattoed bargirl shouting down an uneducated old lady at a swimming pool doesn't exactly sound like a step in the right direction.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

so you know what his wife looks like then,perhaps a mirror image of yours...same same yeah,,or are you trying to be amusing,,,,,somehow it aint working,,not for me anyway..why dont you pm the writer of this topic,,and let him know what you think of his wife,instead of insulting him here.....can you remind your partner she still owes me change from a 50baht note for our short time together,,not because she was beautiful but dammed cheap....not nice is it..but to save face youl say its ok ...

I actually took offence to this idiot's comment about my wife being an ex whore. But, refrained from answering. Biting my fingers, though....

[Somtamnication]

Your wife was a gree and she stood up for you, we'll done on her, and she was right, give her a kiss and thank her, not condemn her for some thing Thais would do to protect their family, which includes you.

I am a bit angry at you for saying she was wrong, When in Rome Mate.

Err, in two posts I praised her...... put your glasses on.

Not the first time she has stood up, defending her family. Not the last time, either.

[Somtamnication]

First mistake: Being in Phuket.

Second mistake: caring

Third mistake: blogging about it

Fourth mistake: still not over it

this is the LOS......enjoy.

Thank you, oh father, for pointing out my mistakes.

I wrote about it to promote a discussion on why this happens and how other Thai spouses would have reacted. I would love the mods to keep this open and delete all other bullshit.

Already, I made huge mistakes, according to you and one idiot called my wife a tattoed ex whore... .

From the response(s), it is nice to know what I am not the only one who defends their wife in public and I am not the only one who allows a Thai spouse to deal with another Thai the THAI WAY. Because my way is far more aggressive and culturally insensitive.

[bunnydrops]

I actually don't see what the grandma did wrong. I think that the OP's wife was absolutely rude and sounds like she should learn some manners.

The grandmother was speaking to her own kid and commenting about a stranger. Who doesn't do that. The OP's wife overheard but perhaps the old lady didn't know that they were together. She might not have done it. People often feel free to talk in their native language when someone might not understand them.

Truth be told, the old fat white guy in the pool was something that she found worth commenting on. What is the big deal? I probably would have thought the same thing depending on how big the OP is. I though wouldn't say anything.

I do think that it is good that his wife does defend her family, however I don't think this situation warrants that. What threat is an old woman? I guess if the OP's wife isn't Thai then I could accept her behavior but very un Thai and improper to scold an older person. I ignore the old and ignorant and feel pity for them rather than confront them.

I am sorry that this event ruined the OP's time swimming, which to me is the big tragedy.

Yes I agree with you. The conversation was between the grandmother and another family member and was over heard. I comment to my wife about all the fat Essans around here ( I feel sorry for the motorbike with 3 of them on it) and say things I would never say to anyone else. Maybe I shouldn't say or think these things at all but I am only human. I would never insult someone to their face JUST because they are fat.