Do you wai?

[eddie61]

I do wai regularly, but Thailand being a very feudal/hierarchichal society means that you should get your wai right. I would say above nose for royalty and monks, just touching nose for MiL and venal bureaucrats who who are candidates for a bribe; around the mouth for subordinates at work if you are not encumbered

[lensta]

No, never. It's not my culture.

Leave it to the Thais.

Agree, foreigners look stupid when they wai.

[mjj]

No, never. It's not my culture.

Leave it to the Thais.

This reminds me of a time back in the states when I came out to meet our new gardener. He had been doing a great job and I wanted the chance to come out, meet him and thank him for what he had been doing. As I had extended my hand to shake, he hesitantly extended his. Now once our hands met and I fined up my clasp, his remained soft, limp, cold and lifeless. It flat out creeped me out. Now keep in mind, this fellow was from south of the border. Mexico, I believe and it I suppose is not customary to shake hands when meeting somebody. Now on the other hand, this gentleman had been living in the States for quite some time as he had grown quite a reputation with my friends who had been using his services for quite a few years. Surely many have gone to shake hands with him over the years and he's had plenty of opportunity to learn this very common gesture. So was it that he simply didn't know how to shake hands or maybe he just did not have any respect for the culture in which he's now chosen to live ? I left that greeting with a much different feeling than when I entered it. Maybe you ought to reconsider your thought of this new culture in which you've chosen to live? Or maybe you prefer to be seen as a disrespectful mooch?

Sent from my Atari 2600

Don't go worrying yourself, I get along just fine the way I am.

There's nothing disrespectful about not wai'ing. It may have not occurred to you but the Thais are perfectly aware it's not our culture.

I often get tickled by guys lecturing me on this cultural stuff that can't speak a word of Thai after living here for years. If you really want to talk about something that is disrespectful and irks Thais, that's a far more important issue.

I'd rather speak Thai than wai. Seriously.

That can't be right, can it? To flip it over, if back in farang land a Thai (or non handshaking nationality) was introduced to you and said hello and you offered your hand and they left it hanging, would you not feel it was a bit awkward or maybe rude?

Surely, if someone has taken time to learn a language they would also be aware of the customs, so ignoring the custom is quite odd, no?

Do you wai if someone wai's you first?

Not passing judgement, just asking. :-)

[richard_smith237]

No, never. It's not my culture.

Leave it to the Thais.

This reminds me of a time back in the states when I came out to meet our new gardener. He had been doing a great job and I wanted the chance to come out, meet him and thank him for what he had been doing. As I had extended my hand to shake, he hesitantly extended his. Now once our hands met and I fined up my clasp, his remained soft, limp, cold and lifeless. It flat out creeped me out. Now keep in mind, this fellow was from south of the border. Mexico, I believe and it I suppose is not customary to shake hands when meeting somebody. Now on the other hand, this gentleman had been living in the States for quite some time as he had grown quite a reputation with my friends who had been using his services for quite a few years. Surely many have gone to shake hands with him over the years and he's had plenty of opportunity to learn this very common gesture. So was it that he simply didn't know how to shake hands or maybe he just did not have any respect for the culture in which he's now chosen to live ? I left that greeting with a much different feeling than when I entered it. Maybe you ought to reconsider your thought of this new culture in which you've chosen to live? Or maybe you prefer to be seen as a disrespectful mooch?

Sent from my Atari 2600

Don't go worrying yourself, I get along just fine the way I am.

There's nothing disrespectful about not wai'ing. It may have not occurred to you but the Thais are perfectly aware it's not our culture.

I often get tickled by guys lecturing me on this cultural stuff that can't speak a word of Thai after living here for years. If you really want to talk about something that is disrespectful and irks Thais, that's a far more important issue.

I'd rather speak Thai than wai. Seriously.

I agree about the language point. Not about your refusal not to Wai which surprises me given your posting history.

There are many aspects of Thailand which are outside of our culture yet we adapt, accommodate and make some effort:

i.e. not going into peoples houses with shoes on, not touching other adults on the head, not pointing with feet etc etc plus many more...

Whoever told you there is nothing disrespectful about not returning a wai is wrong.

The difficulty for people in this situation is they don't know what they don't know. Thai's would be too polite to tell you when you are wrong. They'll keep it quiet, but that doesn't mean they won't think its impolite.

Of course - Wai'ing is not forced, its not the be all and end all of greetings, its possible to be polite and amiable without wai'ing. However, the wai shows effort to be respectful. For people who know better, by not wai'ing the are simply 'not showing the effort to be respectful' and that in itself will be interpreted. It can be a dash insulting to the potential recipient or person who initiated the wai.

A Thai person is likely to be too polite to tell you that you've insulted them by not wai'ing them or returning a wai, but they'll notice and remember. Now, not all Thai's would take offence, but many who know you've been here a while and 'should' know the culture by now would take some degree of offence even if they don't show it.

Example:

If my friends were to meet people I respect; say my Wifes Parents, and my friends didn't wai, my Inlaws would notice but shrug it of, I'd be mortified - my friends live here, know the culture and know better. It would reflect poorly on me.

Equally so, if my Inlaws didn't return the wai my friends would shrug it off, but I'd be embarrassed. It would reflect poorly on my Wife and I.

Fortunately the reality is different - Upon meeting my friends wai my Inlaws, my Inlaws return the wai and we all have a lovely dinner, chat, joke and get along well.

Edit: My friends and I are a generation younger than my Inlaws.

Edited October 23, 2013 by richard_smith237

[David48]

No, never. It's not my culture.

Leave it to the Thais.

Agree, foreigners look stupid when they wai.

You have a gf / wife ?

How do you greet her parents?

... assuming that they are younger then you ...

.

[richard_smith237]

No, never. It's not my culture.

Leave it to the Thais.

Agree, foreigners look stupid when they wai.

Only to other foreigners who are too ignorant to know better.

Yet they'd look ignorant to the Thai's they are meeting.

Which would you prefer ?

a ) Look stupid to ignorant foreigners.

b ) Look ignorant to Thai's.

Of course - those who don't care how they look to Thai's have just sewn up this interesting debate.

Edited October 23, 2013 by richard_smith237

[theblether]

No, never. It's not my culture.

Leave it to the Thais.

This reminds me of a time back in the states when I came out to meet our new gardener. He had been doing a great job and I wanted the chance to come out, meet him and thank him for what he had been doing. As I had extended my hand to shake, he hesitantly extended his. Now once our hands met and I fined up my clasp, his remained soft, limp, cold and lifeless. It flat out creeped me out. Now keep in mind, this fellow was from south of the border. Mexico, I believe and it I suppose is not customary to shake hands when meeting somebody. Now on the other hand, this gentleman had been living in the States for quite some time as he had grown quite a reputation with my friends who had been using his services for quite a few years. Surely many have gone to shake hands with him over the years and he's had plenty of opportunity to learn this very common gesture. So was it that he simply didn't know how to shake hands or maybe he just did not have any respect for the culture in which he's now chosen to live ? I left that greeting with a much different feeling than when I entered it. Maybe you ought to reconsider your thought of this new culture in which you've chosen to live? Or maybe you prefer to be seen as a disrespectful mooch?

Sent from my Atari 2600

Don't go worrying yourself, I get along just fine the way I am.

There's nothing disrespectful about not wai'ing. It may have not occurred to you but the Thais are perfectly aware it's not our culture.

I often get tickled by guys lecturing me on this cultural stuff that can't speak a word of Thai after living here for years. If you really want to talk about something that is disrespectful and irks Thais, that's a far more important issue.

I'd rather speak Thai than wai. Seriously.

I agree about the language point. Not about your refusal not to Wai which surprises me given your posting history.

There are many aspects of Thailand which are outside of our culture yet we adapt, accommodate and make some effort:

i.e. not going into peoples houses with shoes on, not touching other adults on the head, not pointing with feet etc etc plus many more...

Whoever told you there is nothing disrespectful about not returning a wai is wrong.

The difficulty for people in this situation is they don't know what they don't know. Thai's would be too polite to tell you when you are wrong. They'll keep it quiet, but that doesn't mean they won't think its impolite.

Of course - Wai'ing is not forced, its not the be all and end all of greetings, its possible to be polite and amiable without wai'ing. However, the wai shows effort to be respectful. For people who know better, by not wai'ing the are simply 'not showing the effort to be respectful' and that in itself will be interpreted. It can be a dash insulting to the potential recipient or person who initiated the wai.

A Thai person is likely to be too polite to tell you that you've insulted them by not wai'ing them or returning a wai, but they'll notice and remember. Now, not all Thai's would take offence, but many who know you've been here a while and 'should' know the culture by now would take some degree of offence even if they don't show it.

Example:

If my friends were to meet people I respect; say my Wifes Parents, and my friends didn't wai, my Inlaws would notice but shrug it of, I'd be mortified - my friends live here, know the culture and know better. It would reflect poorly on me.

Equally so, if my Inlaws didn't return the wai my friends would shrug it off, but I'd be embarrassed. It would reflect poorly on my Wife and I.

Fortunately the reality is different - Upon meeting my friends wai my Inlaws, my Inlaws return the wai and we all have a lovely dinner, chat, joke and get along well.

Edit: My friends and I are a generation younger than my Inlaws.

Well I have to admit that with this topic in mind I wai'ed the night away last night. I took my ex for a meal as I'm leaving Thailand today and wanted to say goodbye on good terms. I'm kinda well known if not merely well remembered in the restaurant that we went to so when I walked in just about every member of staff wai'ed me, so I wai'ed back.

The promotion girls were the same, and by fluke luck we met a female pal that we hadn't seen for a while, I went to wai her and she gave me a cuddle at the same time. I ended up battering my nose with my hands. So that's it, wai'ing can be dangerous, another reason not to do it.

[theblether]

No, never. It's not my culture.

Leave it to the Thais.

Agree, foreigners look stupid when they wai.

You have a gf / wife ?

How do you greet her parents?

... assuming that they are younger then you ...

.

I donno about Lensta but I find saying hello with a big smile does the trick. The exes mother would always give me a cuddle so that was fine. I don't remember ever being vilified for not wai'ing, except here on TV.

Just sayin'

[cpofc]

Well I have to admit that with this topic in mind I wai'ed the night away last night. I took my ex for a meal as I'm leaving Thailand today and wanted to say goodbye on good terms. I'm kinda well known if not merely well remembered in the restaurant that we went to so when I walked in just about every member of staff wai'ed me, so I wai'ed back.

The promotion girls were the same, and by fluke luck we met a female pal that we hadn't seen for a while, I went to wai her and she gave me a cuddle at the same time. I ended up battering my nose with my hands. So that's it, wai'ing can be dangerous, another reason not to do it.

almost as dangerous as the Australian Cricket Team Hi Fiving each other LOL

[David48]

... foreigners look stupid when they wai.

You have a gf / wife ?

How do you greet her parents?

... assuming that they are younger then you ...

.

I donno about Lensta but I find saying hello with a big smile does the trick. The exes mother would always give me a cuddle so that was fine. I don't remember ever being vilified for not wai'ing, except here on TV.

Just sayin'

Did you ever consider that they were being polite to you?

Sure, you won't be vilified ... Thais are more polite then that.

Your big smile is an open invitation ... and I understand that.

But I think you are glossing over the subject.

Just saying like ...

.

[richard_smith237]

Well I have to admit that with this topic in mind I wai'ed the night away last night. I took my ex for a meal as I'm leaving Thailand today and wanted to say goodbye on good terms. I'm kinda well known if not merely well remembered in the restaurant that we went to so when I walked in just about every member of staff wai'ed me, so I wai'ed back.

The promotion girls were the same, and by fluke luck we met a female pal that we hadn't seen for a while, I went to wai her and she gave me a cuddle at the same time. I ended up battering my nose with my hands. So that's it, wai'ing can be dangerous, another reason not to do it.

Brilliant - had the timing been slightly different it could have been worse... she steps in for a beltherous hug... simultaneously you lift your arms to initiate a wai. Instead you accidentally cop a feel....

[theblether]

Well I have to admit that with this topic in mind I wai'ed the night away last night. I took my ex for a meal as I'm leaving Thailand today and wanted to say goodbye on good terms. I'm kinda well known if not merely well remembered in the restaurant that we went to so when I walked in just about every member of staff wai'ed me, so I wai'ed back.

The promotion girls were the same, and by fluke luck we met a female pal that we hadn't seen for a while, I went to wai her and she gave me a cuddle at the same time. I ended up battering my nose with my hands. So that's it, wai'ing can be dangerous, another reason not to do it.

Brilliant - had the timing been slightly different it could have been worse... she steps in for a beltherous hug... simultaneously you lift your arms to initiate a wai. Instead you accidentally cop a feel....

I never thought of that

[hawker9000]

It should go without saying that it's important to return a greeting if only not to embarrass the greeter. No need to initiate a wai, if it offends your amour propre, but it would be crass and insensitive to disrespect someone higher in the social order, such as an abbot, by merely nodding and going on your merry way, just as keeping your flipflops on and blundering about with a camera in front of worshipers is. Attempting to shake hands with anyone unfamiliar with the gesture is absurd and pompous. Only a person with the cultural sensitivities of a mud crab or Lord Cromer would do that.

I just love it when a pompous lecture is accompanied by a nice poke to the eye. Such class. Such gentility. 'Makes you just want to treat all the advice on etiquette as veritable pearls, no? Are your thai acquaintances treated thusly - after you're done politely wai'ing them of course? I presume this Lord Cromer was a somewhat boorish character. But there I go; 'sure to get a qood whack for my ignorance...

[umbanda]

No, never. It's not my culture.

Leave it to the Thais.

What about at the Temple?

How did you indicate respect?

.

My opinion. If you live here and not are in vacation, you need to learn about the culture and formalities to be respected. Young people wai to older people when meet, and older people do not need to reply in the same way to younger people. But Thai people way to older monks or people in higher positions. It is not necessary for you to wai first, but always respond to a wai from older people. Do not care about the culture? Well...if you are French.... try to kiss a Thai new friend to see what happens....

[dave_boo]

I don't understand the confusion. You wai those of a higher social order automatically. Royalty, monks, doctors, etc. The police when you need something from them. Better wai mother and father in law also.

You return wais if they are similar or higher social level for sure. If lower than as the situation dictates (not waitresses or other 'servants'). Simple smile and nodding head works.

Mockingly doing a forehead high wai with family to diffuse a faux pas (along with a kort-khap) usually gets you off the hook.

I live in Nakhon Nowhere and there is not all the wai-ing I've noticed in yhe cities; to the point I ensure my daughter wais the teachers when arriving and leaving. Otherwise the little monster wants to run off without doing it.

Sent from my GT-N7100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[theblether]

... foreigners look stupid when they wai.

You have a gf / wife ?

How do you greet her parents?

... assuming that they are younger then you ...

.

I donno about Lensta but I find saying hello with a big smile does the trick. The exes mother would always give me a cuddle so that was fine. I don't remember ever being vilified for not wai'ing, except here on TV.

Just sayin'

Did you ever consider that they were being polite to you?

Sure, you won't be vilified ... Thais are more polite then that.

Your big smile is an open invitation ... and I understand that.

But I think you are glossing over the subject.

Just saying like ...

.

Yup, that they were.

I don't know why some people can't get it into their heads that Thais are perfectly aware that we are not Thai. They make allowances for it.

It is perfectly possible to be respectful without wai'ing. There are other far more important things such as conduct in the Temples and the like. Wai'ing is way down in the order of important cultural lessons in Thailand, way down. Topics like this give it a cultural importance way beyond it's real standing.

We need a topic about " Do You Ever Rub A Thais Head", or "Do You Ever Step Over A Thai". These are issues that will get you shot, I've never heard of anyone being shot for being a pitiful or non existent wai'er.

[crumpled]

Initial meeting with parents, with a monk or a child who wai me, yes. Nothing to do with being suberviant, more to do with being polite. After the initial meeting with parents a simple greeting suffices.

I'd never ever wai a bargirl, waitress or similar. I do find it embarrassing to see foreign men wai bar girls.

[Tywais]

I don't know why some people can't get it into their heads that Thais are perfectly aware that we are not Thai. They make allowances for it.

You really don't get it do you and perpetuate the myth? I'll post another of my older posts from about a year ago that shows otherwise.

------------------------------------

I'm going to give an example of something that showed me the importance of a wai.

In our moo bahn we have a mom & pop shop that I go to buy items regularly and have a good repoire with and they all know I'm an ajarn and refer to me by that. An elderly lady, in her 80's - the owner's mother, always sits out front minding the charcoal and ice. She always has a frown but I still will give her a smile whenever I see her. After a while she warmed up to me and would smile at me when she saw me.

One day as I started up the steps to the shop I looked over to my left and was startled seeing her wai me. My position was awkward to return the wai and I felt bad about not returning it. Afterwards, she was back to a frown and no more smiling at me. It bothered me enough (yes I'm a sensitive person) that I tried to think of a way to 'fix' this. Just going back and waiing her seemed too contrived so a short time later News Year arrived. First thing I did when I went to the store was walk right up to her, wai her and wished her a happy new year. Her eyes lit up and a big smile and waiied back as did the owners of the store. From then on she smiled whenever I came and we would wai each other.

My point is, that if you think Thais don't care, think again.

[theblether]

I don't know why some people can't get it into their heads that Thais are perfectly aware that we are not Thai. They make allowances for it.

You really don't get it do you and perpetuate the myth? I'll post another of my older posts from about a year ago that shows otherwise.

------------------------------------

I'm going to give an example of something that showed me the importance of a wai.

In our moo bahn we have a mom & pop shop that I go to buy items regularly and have a good repoire with and they all know I'm an ajarn and refer to me by that. An elderly lady, in her 80's - the owner's mother, always sits out front minding the charcoal and ice. She always has a frown but I still will give her a smile whenever I see her. After a while she warmed up to me and would smile at me when she saw me.

One day as I started up the steps to the shop I looked over to my left and was startled seeing her wai me. My position was awkward to return the wai and I felt bad about not returning it. Afterwards, she was back to a frown and no more smiling at me. It bothered me enough (yes I'm a sensitive person) that I tried to think of a way to 'fix' this. Just going back and waiing her seemed too contrived so a short time later News Year arrived. First thing I did when I went to the store was walk right up to her, wai her and wished her a happy new year. Her eyes lit up and a big smile and waiied back as did the owners of the store. From then on she smiled whenever I came and we would wai each other.

My point is, that if you think Thais don't care, think again.

I said they make allowances, I didn't say they didn't care.

[Tywais]

I don't know why some people can't get it into their heads that Thais are perfectly aware that we are not Thai. They make allowances for it.

You really don't get it do you and perpetuate the myth? I'll post another of my older posts from about a year ago that shows otherwise.

------------------------------------

I'm going to give an example of something that showed me the importance of a wai.

In our moo bahn we have a mom & pop shop that I go to buy items regularly and have a good repoire with and they all know I'm an ajarn and refer to me by that. An elderly lady, in her 80's - the owner's mother, always sits out front minding the charcoal and ice. She always has a frown but I still will give her a smile whenever I see her. After a while she warmed up to me and would smile at me when she saw me.

One day as I started up the steps to the shop I looked over to my left and was startled seeing her wai me. My position was awkward to return the wai and I felt bad about not returning it. Afterwards, she was back to a frown and no more smiling at me. It bothered me enough (yes I'm a sensitive person) that I tried to think of a way to 'fix' this. Just going back and waiing her seemed too contrived so a short time later News Year arrived. First thing I did when I went to the store was walk right up to her, wai her and wished her a happy new year. Her eyes lit up and a big smile and waiied back as did the owners of the store. From then on she smiled whenever I came and we would wai each other.

My point is, that if you think Thais don't care, think again.

I said they make allowances, I didn't say they didn't care.

There were no allowances in this case.

[mca]

.

I donno about Lensta but I find saying hello with a big smile does the trick.

Just make sure that at the same time your flies are done up mate and you should be fine

[theblether]

I don't know why some people can't get it into their heads that Thais are perfectly aware that we are not Thai. They make allowances for it.

You really don't get it do you and perpetuate the myth? I'll post another of my older posts from about a year ago that shows otherwise.

------------------------------------

I'm going to give an example of something that showed me the importance of a wai.

In our moo bahn we have a mom & pop shop that I go to buy items regularly and have a good repoire with and they all know I'm an ajarn and refer to me by that. An elderly lady, in her 80's - the owner's mother, always sits out front minding the charcoal and ice. She always has a frown but I still will give her a smile whenever I see her. After a while she warmed up to me and would smile at me when she saw me.

One day as I started up the steps to the shop I looked over to my left and was startled seeing her wai me. My position was awkward to return the wai and I felt bad about not returning it. Afterwards, she was back to a frown and no more smiling at me. It bothered me enough (yes I'm a sensitive person) that I tried to think of a way to 'fix' this. Just going back and waiing her seemed too contrived so a short time later News Year arrived. First thing I did when I went to the store was walk right up to her, wai her and wished her a happy new year. Her eyes lit up and a big smile and waiied back as did the owners of the store. From then on she smiled whenever I came and we would wai each other.

My point is, that if you think Thais don't care, think again.

I said they make allowances, I didn't say they didn't care.

There were no allowances in this case.

In the story you told it became obvious that it was important to the elderly lady and that it may even have been her way of deepening the friendship with you. I get that. Just the same way as I realized it would have been perceived by all as highly disrespectful if I didn't wai the Head Monk at the recent Temple retreat.

I'm still able to adjust to the circumstances of the day, and on a normal day to day basis I don't find it necessary.

[pcliff069]

The semi-annual Wai topic. Never gets old.

obviously wai too much time on their hands

[krisb]

I don't know why some people can't get it into their heads that Thais are perfectly aware that we are not Thai. They make allowances for it.

You really don't get it do you and perpetuate the myth? I'll post another of my older posts from about a year ago that shows otherwise.

------------------------------------

I'm going to give an example of something that showed me the importance of a wai.

In our moo bahn we have a mom & pop shop that I go to buy items regularly and have a good repoire with and they all know I'm an ajarn and refer to me by that. An elderly lady, in her 80's - the owner's mother, always sits out front minding the charcoal and ice. She always has a frown but I still will give her a smile whenever I see her. After a while she warmed up to me and would smile at me when she saw me.

One day as I started up the steps to the shop I looked over to my left and was startled seeing her wai me. My position was awkward to return the wai and I felt bad about not returning it. Afterwards, she was back to a frown and no more smiling at me. It bothered me enough (yes I'm a sensitive person) that I tried to think of a way to 'fix' this. Just going back and waiing her seemed too contrived so a short time later News Year arrived. First thing I did when I went to the store was walk right up to her, wai her and wished her a happy new year. Her eyes lit up and a big smile and waiied back as did the owners of the store. From then on she smiled whenever I came and we would wai each other.

My point is, that if you think Thais don't care, think again.

Nice

[zeichen]

I think the reason a lot of TV members don't wai is because there aren't any Thais older than them. If you are as old as dirt, then you don't have to wai. For us that are of an average age and have real relationships and have roots in the community, then giving a wai is appropriate.

The lame argument that it is Thai culture and not yours is really lame. Living in someone elses native country and not showing respect appropriately is just wrong. I love when my daughter shows respect to people. Other Thais always comment on how proper and polite she is. If you have children with a Thai and don't respect the cutlure and practices of the people, you are hurting the growth of your child.

I am not a total Thai apologist, but I do think that those that don't respect Thai culture and their way of life should not live here.

[khunPer]

I do wai (and smile), actually I am getting so used to it, that I prefer it for shaking hands, so I also wai other farangs. What I found important is, especially to wai the older people in the village or neighbourhood to show my respect – it is their village and I am a guest only – and that seems to make me accepted almost like one of their of their own. In general I gladly wai everyone I know – and often they wai first and say »Sawadee khun Per« (amazing so many people I hardly know, who knows my name); however I let the young kids wai and “sawadee” me first. Also doormen or staff at entrance shall wai first, and if they wai me I gladly wai back. I may break some social “rules” about whom to wai first, whom to wai back and how; but that seems to be widely accepted, me being a farang.

When it comes to shops, bank, post office and especially official departments, I always wai before I do my business, and always wai and say »kaboon khrab« (thank you) when finished – even in cases where I did not receive what I expected. Seems to pay off, normally getting a good service, and next time I come they remember me, smile and will be ready to help me. As Thais love to smile and laugh, good humour (a little polite joking) often helps a lot to “break the ice”; however don’t act stupid, you cannot do it everywhere, like in a government office.

I do not wai monks, like some Thai people do to show respect, only when I have some “business” like receiving blessings. It took me a while, not being a Buddhist, to wai Buddha when visiting a temple, but now I do. And of course I will show respect and wai a royal princess passing in front me, which did happen once.

[krisb]

My youngest brother does the best wais I've ever seen. He actually bends at the waist like he's in crouching tiger, hidden dragon position. It's an awesome wai. Even the Thais are truly impressed and give a whooooa wai deeeee!

The thing is the wai is about respect. Same as a handshake in the west. It's important and I use it.

[hawker9000]

I don't know why some people can't get it into their heads that Thais are perfectly aware that we are not Thai. They make allowances for it.

You really don't get it do you and perpetuate the myth? I'll post another of my older posts from about a year ago that shows otherwise.

------------------------------------

I'm going to give an example of something that showed me the importance of a wai.

In our moo bahn we have a mom & pop shop that I go to buy items regularly and have a good repoire with and they all know I'm an ajarn and refer to me by that. An elderly lady, in her 80's - the owner's mother, always sits out front minding the charcoal and ice. She always has a frown but I still will give her a smile whenever I see her. After a while she warmed up to me and would smile at me when she saw me.

One day as I started up the steps to the shop I looked over to my left and was startled seeing her wai me. My position was awkward to return the wai and I felt bad about not returning it. Afterwards, she was back to a frown and no more smiling at me. It bothered me enough (yes I'm a sensitive person) that I tried to think of a way to 'fix' this. Just going back and waiing her seemed too contrived so a short time later News Year arrived. First thing I did when I went to the store was walk right up to her, wai her and wished her a happy new year. Her eyes lit up and a big smile and waiied back as did the owners of the store. From then on she smiled whenever I came and we would wai each other.

My point is, that if you think Thais don't care, think again.

As a regular and local visitor to her store (in addition to the other circumstances you cite), I wouldn't have seen this as a matter of returning the wai of "service staff", but would rather consider her more a neighbor and acquaintance, even if never formally introduced. I'd have unhesitatingly returned her wai along with a big smile. I agree that if you're living here and getting to know the locals, willingness to follow this custom IS important. As a mere tourist however, wai'ing everyone from the flight attendant to the taxi driver to the hotel porter is probably a little much. Still, if it makes you feel better, it's not like you're hurting or insulting anyone. Edited October 23, 2013 by hawker9000

[sz1a]

Should you wai tresses?

[hawker9000]

Should you wai tresses?

Nope. (Unless they're friends of yours. Or perhaps you want for them to be...)