Do you wai?

[Bpuumike]

Just as most of us appreciate foreigners in our home country showing some respect for our customs I am also respectful in their country. For that reason I am happy to add a Wei to a meeting. Unless I do have it wrong, it's not a complex process to to understand and usually much appreciated by our hosts creating a mutual respect from my experience.

Very nice comment, would like to see more positive on TV

[Samaaw]

When my staff comes in the morning everyone wais, when they leave the same.

Unless I have the coffee in the hand I wai back like everyone other does.

I have one Thai customer who always greets me with "Heil Hitler" instead of Wai

Classic @ "Heil Hitler" lol - that is a sense of humour...

[hanno]

I did it. But I stopped it for good.

Since I speak fluently Thai and discovered, how bad and fashism Thai people are in their heart.

I changed to use a hallo. That's it.

Why should I wai and repect these people, when I know how do they really thing in their heart about us foreigners.

Because, there are some older? No, old in Thailand doesn't have to do with wise.

Because, they are richer? No, to be rich doesn't mean to be a good person.

Because, of there rank or position? No, ranks doesn't mean anything to me.

Because, of there knowledge? No, I am smarter than these people, who believe it is more important to waste their time

with FB etc. insteed of study something.

So, how to deal, if somebody call me farang. In there mind it has a pejorative meaning

so, I do the same. I respond with: Hi dummy.

Because, somebody who treat a foreigner with this bad word and not equivalent, deserves to be called DUMMY.

why even bother with hallo if you have such contempt for them?

Or indeed continue to live in Thailand?

[elzach]

Thai people don't expect ANY foreigner to wai.

Possible exception if you're married to a Thai, speak Thai and have become half-Thai.

[AYJAYDEE]

Thai people don't expect ANY foreigner to wai.

Possible exception if you're married to a Thai, speak Thai and have become half-Thai.

you havent met all thai people so have no basis for saying that. and the ones that dont expect it would be pleasantly surprised and respect you if you did.

[TheRedlines]

No, never.  It's not my culture.

 

Leave it to the Thais. 

This reminds me of a time back in the states when I came out to meet our new gardener. He had been doing a great job and I wanted the chance to come out, meet him and thank him for what he had been doing. As I had extended my hand to shake, he hesitantly extended his. Now once our hands met and I fined up my clasp, his remained soft, limp, cold and lifeless. It flat out creeped me out. Now keep in mind, this fellow was from south of the border. Mexico, I believe and it I suppose is not customary to shake hands when meeting somebody. Now on the other hand, this gentleman had been living in the States for quite some time as he had grown quite a reputation with my friends who had been using his services for quite a few years. Surely many have gone to shake hands with him over the years and he's had plenty of opportunity to learn this very common gesture. So was it that he simply didn't know how to shake hands or maybe he just did not have any respect for the culture in which he's now chosen to live ? I left that greeting with a much different feeling than when I entered it. Maybe you ought to reconsider your thought of this new culture in which you've chosen to live? Or maybe you prefer to be seen as a disrespectful mooch?

Sent from my Atari 2600

[mrtoad]

I generally Wai to those that Wai to me, always feel it is appropriate at work with my colleagues. If in a business meeting or setting, then often a Wai and a handshake as well.

I don't go around giving Wais to spirit houses, staff in 7-11, taxi drivers and the like (I have witnessed foreigners doing that, and they look foolish), although in some places where I go frequently, and know the staff by name I don't think it hurts to show a bit of common courtesy with a Wai. In the end its up to the individual, but politeness doesn't cost anything.

[goatfarmer]

Wai not?

It all depends on the situation. Nothing more ridiculous than a farang wai-ing everyone he sees; like Crocodile Dundee shaking hands with everyone as walks down Fifth Avenue.

Edited October 23, 2013 by goatfarmer

[kikoman]

If you don't wai you should go home. (just kidding)

I find it amusing that so many think that a farang that wais is trying to be Thai, looks foolish, or is even offensive. Many of those same people complain that they are always treated as an outsider. In the farang context it is simply a polite greeting. In a situation where you would normally shake hands, give a hug or kiss on the cheek in your own country the Thai custom is a wai instead. To refuse those customary gestures in your own country would cause offense just as refusing to wai appropriately will cause offense to a Thai whether or not they show it. If someone refuses to display polite behavior in any culture they will find it hard to be accepted.

Sure, most will understand that you are a foreigner and don't understand the custom if you don't wai but if it is perceived that you should know how to be polite and refuse to do so you will be viewed as rude and deservedly so.

If you are happy being isolated from Thai society other than dealing with vendors or workers waiing is unnecessary, but to be accepted by Thai friends some ettiquette is important. I wouldn't want to hang around someone who would refuse to be polite to people I introduced them to, why would a Thai put themselves in that situation.

If you are confused as to when or how to wai, it isn't that difficult. You are not expected to know subtle hand placement. It is the intention that counts. This is what I do:

Very casual wai - fingertips touch chin

Greeting family, friends or elders - fingertips to tip of nose

Greeting Highly respected monks - fingertips to bridge of nose

Your hands should be held naturally in front of your face head brought forward to touch the fingertips in the location on your face.

When to wai

Do not return wai of service people or children a smile is sufficient

Wai elder respected family when not seen for extended period

Return wai of younger (not children) or little respected family

Friends and peers I never wai first but always return (they know the proper protocol and understand I don't as it is not my culture)

Showing an attempt to be courteous and have manners is much more important than technical perfection.

very well said!!

Great post, very informative, As I live in a Thai village, it is customary to wai, a sign of respect. I return all persons wai's that wai me, my daughters everyday when they leave the house or return home, come to my refrigerated room and wai me as any visitor does that visits my home.

My wife always try's to tell me when the wai is appropriate, and does not like me to wai her in public or in private, I tell her I do it knowing it is not appropriate to show her that I respect her as well as love her.

Cheers:

[PEP]

Thanks "CPOFC" you saved me a considerable amount of my slow writing. I agree with your understanding of Thai Customs which are just common courtesy in the land we now call Home.

Regards, A Wai and Handshake to you!

[slipperylobster]

With a considerable amount of thought to this issue, I now find it preferable to Wai than to shake somebody's had. There is no worry about sweaty, greasy palms, bacteria transmission, limp wrist action, or showing off your grip. Much, much better to Wai.

[johnlandy]

Yes but not the security guard or the house maid.

Nor children....

[villagefarang]

Yes, I wai when appropriate. Living here as long as I have, and speaking the language, it would be rude for me not to wai.

[slipperylobster]

Only foolish people avoid following local etiquette. Perhaps some of us are shy, or embarrassed that we are not performing the "Wai" correctly. It has been my experience that Thai people will smile and appreciate an honest effort to Wai correctly. I have never been admonished or glared at. You will gain points for the effort. At the very worst, they will consider you child-like in your efforts. I don't worry about using the Wai at all...it seems only other farangs care that I gave a Wai to the security guard or housekeeper. Do not underestimate the fact that Thai people have been exposed to the farangs for a very long time....en masse ! Nothing really shocks them as much as you think.

[mca]

Do not return wai of service people or children a smile is sufficient

Agree to a point mate but you can give an acknowledging wai if the staff wai you as you leave a restaurant or the like. Nothing flash like you've just been introduced to the provincial governor. The bloke at the car care always wais me as he walks up to take my keys so I just wai him back as I say hello as politely acknowledging his presence and the start of our interaction. Of course it's optional. I've seen plenty of locals return a wai to staff the same way as I've seen plenty who don't. Same as back home. My folks always taught me to say "please" and "thank you". In any situation over here like when a waitress brings me the menu or serves my food I'll always pause what I'm doing and thank her. It's the way I was brought up.

Same as you can return a wai to kids (especially younger ones) who wai you first. Usually family members or close friend's kids You're acknowledging their good manners and it's an encouragement to the younger ones who're just being taught to wai by their parents. Again nothing fancy or flash.

Of course if people aren't too comfortable with waiiing then a smile will suffice.

[hawker9000]

If you don't wai you should go home. (just kidding)

I find it amusing that so many think that a farang that wais is trying to be Thai, looks foolish, or is even offensive. Many of those same people complain that they are always treated as an outsider. In the farang context it is simply a polite greeting. In a situation where you would normally shake hands, give a hug or kiss on the cheek in your own country the Thai custom is a wai instead. To refuse those customary gestures in your own country would cause offense just as refusing to wai appropriately will cause offense to a Thai whether or not they show it. If someone refuses to display polite behavior in any culture they will find it hard to be accepted.

Sure, most will understand that you are a foreigner and don't understand the custom if you don't wai but if it is perceived that you should know how to be polite and refuse to do so you will be viewed as rude and deservedly so.

If you are happy being isolated from Thai society other than dealing with vendors or workers waiing is unnecessary, but to be accepted by Thai friends some ettiquette is important. I wouldn't want to hang around someone who would refuse to be polite to people I introduced them to, why would a Thai put themselves in that situation.

If you are confused as to when or how to wai, it isn't that difficult. You are not expected to know subtle hand placement. It is the intention that counts. This is what I do:

Very casual wai - fingertips touch chin

Greeting family, friends or elders - fingertips to tip of nose

Greeting Highly respected monks - fingertips to bridge of nose

Your hands should be held naturally in front of your face head brought forward to touch the fingertips in the location on your face.

When to wai

Do not return wai of service people or children a smile is sufficient

Wai elder respected family when not seen for extended period

Return wai of younger (not children) or little respected family

Friends and peers I never wai first but always return (they know the proper protocol and understand I don't as it is not my culture)

Showing an attempt to be courteous and have manners is much more important than technical perfection.

very well said!!

Great post, very informative, As I live in a Thai village, it is customary to wai, a sign of respect. I return all persons wai's that wai me, my daughters everyday when they leave the house or return home, come to my refrigerated room and wai me as any visitor does that visits my home.

My wife always try's to tell me when the wai is appropriate, and does not like me to wai her in public or in private, I tell her I do it knowing it is not appropriate to show her that I respect her as well as love her.

Cheers:

I agree - well covered. As a tourist or short-stayer, unless visiting wats & encountering senior monks, or meeting previous thai friends & acquaintances, I'm not sure I can imagine too many instances where the wai is appropriate. One does not wai or return-wai service staff; to do so will be considered cute & a friendly gesture, but a little silly. At the next level, an appropriate wai, even if not correct in every respect, will probably be appreciated. If working and living here, learn the do's and dont's - it isn't that hard and at some point you become borderline boorish, not that thais will probably ever bring it up to you.

[Neeranam]

Do not return wai of service people or children a smile is sufficient

Agree to a point mate but you can give an acknowledging wai if the staff wai you as you leave a restaurant or the like. Nothing flash like you've just been introduced to the provincial governor. The bloke at the car care always wais me as he walks up to take my keys so I just wai him back as I say hello as politely acknowledging his presence and the start of our interaction. Of course it's optional. I've seen plenty of locals return a wai to staff the same way as I've seen plenty who don't. Same as back home. My folks always taught me to say "please" and "thank you". In any situation over here like when a waitress brings me the menu or serves my food I'll always pause what I'm doing and thank her. It's the way I was brought up.

Same as you can return a wai to kids (especially younger ones) who wai you first. Usually family members or close friend's kids You're acknowledging their good manners and it's an encouragement to the younger ones who're just being taught to wai by their parents. Again nothing fancy or flash.

Of course if people aren't too comfortable with waiiing then a smile will suffice.

I agree with your points but just want to point out waiing someone and saying "hello" seems pretty strange to me. A simple sa wat dee krap' compliments the gesture.

[yourauntbob]

Got to love the TV members

"I dont wai, its not my culture..."

"i dont tip, its not their culture..."

all sounds like people making excuses to do whatever suits them.

I personally do both. Instead of picking the best of both worlds for me, I generally choose the best of both worlds for Thai people.

[thaibeachlovers]

Would you expect a Thai person to shake hands in your country? What would you think of those who said, "I refuse to shake hands, it's not my culture"? I'd probably say, "piss off back to your own country then".

Of course I wai. It does take a while before one can do it properly and know when to and when not to wai.

I've got more important things to worry about than if a foreigner shakes my hand or not. Doesn't come anywhere on my list of to do's.

If I had to wai in Thailand, I'd expect them to give me a "how to" booklet at immigration.

I used to say sawatdee khrap to my Thai relatives when they came to visit, till my wife said that if I did that I had to wai, so now I just say hello.

[thaibeachlovers]

Thanks "CPOFC" you saved me a considerable amount of my slow writing. I agree with your understanding of Thai Customs which are just common courtesy in the land we now call Home.

Regards, A Wai and Handshake to you!

The Thais make it clear to me that this is NOT my home ( I don't have to check in every 90 days at "home" ), so I don't consider it to be so, nor do I pretend to be a Thai. I don't rub people's noses if I go to New Zealand either.

[Fookhaht]

Geez.

I just went down to the lobby of my hotel for a cup of coffee.

The owner took it upon herself to introduce another westerner and his Thai wife to me (thanks so much, lady), as I'm lifting the cup to my lips.

The guy wai'd me.

Geez.

It is perfectly ok to Wai with one hand, if you are occupied with something (eat, drink, masturbate, etc).

Whew, thought I was the only guilty one...

[DGIE]

I do wai even to the small child and the small child will return the same. I just making fun with the small children but they return seriously.

[AYJAYDEE]

Would you expect a Thai person to shake hands in your country? What would you think of those who said, "I refuse to shake hands, it's not my culture"? I'd probably say, "piss off back to your own country then".

Of course I wai. It does take a while before one can do it properly and know when to and when not to wai.

I've got more important things to worry about than if a foreigner shakes my hand or not. Doesn't come anywhere on my list of to do's.

If I had to wai in Thailand, I'd expect them to give me a "how to" booklet at immigration.

I used to say sawatdee khrap to my Thai relatives when they came to visit, till my wife said that if I did that I had to wai, so now I just say hello.

i prefer to make my relatives proud of me

[LingLek]

It should go without saying that it's important to return a greeting if only not to embarrass the greeter. No need to initiate a wai, if it offends your amour propre, but it would be crass and insensitive to disrespect someone higher in the social order, such as an abbot, by merely nodding and going on your merry way, just as keeping your flipflops on and blundering about with a camera in front of worshipers is. Attempting to shake hands with anyone unfamiliar with the gesture is absurd and pompous. Only a person with the cultural sensitivities of a mud crab or Lord Cromer would do that.

[tennala]

When in Rome.....

and why would you not ?

[wileycoyote]

Yes,I wai

When in Rome .do as the Romans !

[mca]

Do not return wai of service people or children a smile is sufficient

Agree to a point mate but you can give an acknowledging wai if the staff wai you as you leave a restaurant or the like. Nothing flash like you've just been introduced to the provincial governor. The bloke at the car care always wais me as he walks up to take my keys so I just wai him back as I say hello as politely acknowledging his presence and the start of our interaction. Of course it's optional. I've seen plenty of locals return a wai to staff the same way as I've seen plenty who don't. Same as back home. My folks always taught me to say "please" and "thank you". In any situation over here like when a waitress brings me the menu or serves my food I'll always pause what I'm doing and thank her. It's the way I was brought up.

Same as you can return a wai to kids (especially younger ones) who wai you first. Usually family members or close friend's kids You're acknowledging their good manners and it's an encouragement to the younger ones who're just being taught to wai by their parents. Again nothing fancy or flash.

Of course if people aren't too comfortable with waiiing then a smile will suffice.

I agree with your points but just want to point out waiing someone and saying "hello" seems pretty strange to me. A simple sa wat dee krap' compliments the gesture.

Sorry for not being clear mate I meant "hello" as in "Sawadee khrap" as opposed to "Hello" as in using English

[theblether]

No, never. It's not my culture.

Leave it to the Thais.

This reminds me of a time back in the states when I came out to meet our new gardener. He had been doing a great job and I wanted the chance to come out, meet him and thank him for what he had been doing. As I had extended my hand to shake, he hesitantly extended his. Now once our hands met and I fined up my clasp, his remained soft, limp, cold and lifeless. It flat out creeped me out. Now keep in mind, this fellow was from south of the border. Mexico, I believe and it I suppose is not customary to shake hands when meeting somebody. Now on the other hand, this gentleman had been living in the States for quite some time as he had grown quite a reputation with my friends who had been using his services for quite a few years. Surely many have gone to shake hands with him over the years and he's had plenty of opportunity to learn this very common gesture. So was it that he simply didn't know how to shake hands or maybe he just did not have any respect for the culture in which he's now chosen to live ? I left that greeting with a much different feeling than when I entered it. Maybe you ought to reconsider your thought of this new culture in which you've chosen to live? Or maybe you prefer to be seen as a disrespectful mooch?

Sent from my Atari 2600

Don't go worrying yourself, I get along just fine the way I am.

There's nothing disrespectful about not wai'ing. It may have not occurred to you but the Thais are perfectly aware it's not our culture.

I often get tickled by guys lecturing me on this cultural stuff that can't speak a word of Thai after living here for years. If you really want to talk about something that is disrespectful and irks Thais, that's a far more important issue.

I'd rather speak Thai than wai. Seriously.

[David48]

I often get tickled by guys lecturing me on this cultural stuff that can't speak a word of Thai after living here for years. If you really want to talk about something that is disrespectful and irks Thais, that's a far more important issue.

So, just for clarification ... you think that not speaking the Thai language is more disrespectful then not knowing and respecting their basic Customs?

.

[peter267]

Wai Not?

However you perform it to whom it costs nothing and provokes the appreciation of any Thai people you meet. When in rome - got to try the pasta.

However I have come to the conclusion that the Thai's mastery of the wai and its timing and delivery provide them plenty of humour when they are playing with falang - why does the Tesco checkout girl time her wai just as you have wriggled your fingers of both hands through the handles of 10 carrier bags and got the load in the air and stabalised. Unerring timing. They perfect and "lie in wait" for your hands to be full and deliver the wai with a bright beaming smile and twinkling eyes. Got to have some fun in your life.

Its got to be a whole lot better than the gallic kissing scene, lead with the left or right 2 or 3 times, wet lips? air kiss? tongues? male on male? male on female? female on female? the hand placement, squeeze, a hug, a dry hump, just what to do, and think of the germs?