I'm a violent alcoholic

[Restinpeace]

Unfortunately, i'm probably the worst type of alcoholic there is. I'm violent when I get drunk and I tend to make an ass of myself and alienate everyone else around me. I've been in very dangerous scrapes with the law and with other people. I've been on and off alcohol over the past 8 years but every year a major bad incident or situation occurs which causes me to finally "give up" drinking only to start the cycle again after awhile when I convince myself I can handle alcohol once more. I don't exactly need alcohol to start and finish my days as a dependency but I binge hard and act crazy when i'm drunk.

Will any AA group work for me or can someone suggest one? I've attended AA in the past and mistakenly thought I could self regulate. I now know that it's just no possible for me to do this.

[Baerboxer]

Whatever you do, stop drinking alcohol sooner rather than later. Getting involved in violence anywhere is bad enough, but Thailand is very unforgiving to a pissed up farang starting violent trouble.

My late father worked in the brewing / pub industry for many years, and I worked in nightclubs for many years when younger. I've seen a lot of alcohol fueled violence. If the drink takes you that way, get off it quickly before you end up with serious mental disorders, trouble with law or killed in a fight.

Seek help - and good luck.

[thrilled]

I have known people who would plan on going to A club,bar and after having A few would deliberately start A fight with the biggest,roughest person in the place.That would be their form of entertainment.

I was at A large size club one night.Approximately 300 patrons.At closing time there was A 30 person free for all outside of the place.Great entertainment for me.I stayed in the background.I'm the opposite.I'm A happy person when I drink.

[Billmont]

Recognising your problem is a good first start, stay away from the demon drink and trouble and your life will be much better. Some people are unable to have a few beers and then go home. They have to keep drinking until they are very drunk and reach the violence stage. Good luck to you and enjoy your new sober life.

[Satcommlee]

You've made the first move mate!! well done..

Now after acknowledging the problem, you can act on it..

[alfalfa19]

AA is a good idea for you. Get a schedule of meetings. It's very important that you stop drinking. As you already seem to realize, moderation is impossible for an alcoholic. It's only a matter of time before you kill somebody or yourself while driving , or in some other manner. If you need help to find meetings, let me know by PM, I will find a schedule online for you, wherever you may be.

[OLDAUSSIE]

I can relate to the OP as I also was a very violent alcoholic, how I never killed someone or killed myself is a mystery.

You have answered part of your own question.

I've attended AA in the past and mistakenly thought I could self regulate. I now know that it's just no possible for me to do this.

I tried many times to stop or slow down but nothing worked, until I threw my hands up and said enough is enough and I surrendered a totally beaten and defeated Alcoholic. That was when I joined AA over 33 years ago. Hey and its still working for me today as it did back in 1980, "One day at a Time"

Find some meetings near where you live and you can meet other Alcoholics who have suffered just like you are now.

I wish you luck in your new sober life.

Cheers

[keith101]

there is a drug (naltrexone i think) that is used for drug addicts to stop them from getting high and has been used in trials for alchoholics with great success . maybe you could see a doctor and ask about this .

[OLDAUSSIE]

there is a drug (naltrexone i think) that is used for drug addicts to stop them from getting high and has been used in trials for alchoholics with great success . maybe you could see a doctor and ask about this .

Swap one drug for another drug, that does not make any sense at all.

[CBR250]

Well done - the acknowledgement of the problem is a huge step forward. I think AA may be just what you need. Not all 12 step groups are the same tho' (for instance some are more / less "religious" than others) so remember if the first group isn't quite what you want, don't quit it all. There will be a point in your life when you can look back calmly at your earlier behaviour, knowing it will not recur.

[Joe Mamma]

I have yet to know a happy drunk. Any thing that controls us is dangerous except common sense and decency.

[phitsanulokjohn]

Please seek help.I've had 2 friends who's exactly the same as you.You couldn't meet 2 nicer guys when sober,but total violent nightmares when drunk.One had the good sense to realise all the good he was destroying when drunk and stopped(now only drinks tea),the other died in a car crash when drunk.

The upside with you is that you know you have a problem,but if you don't seek help and soon i'm afraid you will end up the same as my 2nd friend.FACT-EXCESSIVE BINGE DRINKING DESTROYS LIVES,AND NOT JUST YOUR OWN.

Please heed my warning,and take my advice.

I wish you all the very best.

[ducphuket]

Please Google search "Phuket AA". You will find a link to our website. There you will find a schedule of our meetings. We have meetings everyday. You will also find phone numbers to call. Please call. We can help if you really want to stop drinking.

[Nomad075]

Wat tham kra bok!! In saraburi. Might be good for you. I was the same as you . One hell of a nasty drunk!! But I stayed there for a few months , now I have been sober for just over 2 years. Look it up . It's hard but for me it was well worth it. Good luck !

[shaurene]

G'day Restin peace

Ye problem with many people, but a lot depends on what you drink, I used to get bad with whiskey, beer and wine I am nice. Look at what you are drinking.

[cbluck58]

Good Luck - You have made the right start .

I was married to a violent alcoholic lady for 10 years - she solved the problem by dying of alcohol fuelled hepatitis and a complete renal failure after 3 weeks in an alcoholic coma.

If that does not motivate you to stop , it should - stay strong and live.

[Jack Mountain]

A long read but maybe it's something for you ...

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2010/may/09/alcoholism-health-doctor-addiction-drug

[Mobi]

I was never a violent alcoholic, although I did get involved in the occasional skirmish when provoked, but I have met many who are the same as the OP,

I used to hear their stories at almost every AA meeting I attended, and many had been in jail as a result of their violent behaviour.

I t became clear to me that maybe more than most, the violent alcoholics relied on AA top keep them on the straight and narrow,

I made a very good friend with a youngish Brit who admitted that he used to go out with his friends in the UK with the express intention of getting paralytic and starting very violent fights. He ended up in jail, and one of his close friends was killed in a brawl which finally led him to the AA to seek help.

He has been sober for a number of years now, and you couldn't find a kinder, gentler more considerate guy, but he openly admits that even now, he could never stay sober without the support of AA.

So my advice to the OP is to find an AA meeting without delay.

As always, I would also advise that if one group doesn't seem to work for you, the try another. We are blessed with many different groups in Thailand - there are about 4 in Pattaya alone. Go to them all and find the one that suits you best.

Good luck,

Mobi

[dotpoom]

As has already been said...you already have made a hugh leap forward in recognizing that you need help...without that, it would not be possible to recover. Yes...I mean what I say....there IS a solution to your dilemma. You probably would agree that your life is, or is becoming, unmanageable. I would hope that you do not have the illness of Alcoholism because I would not wish it on my worst enemy....but if you do, it will certainly only get worse if you continue to drink. I would go as far as saying that your quality of life may not improve even if you could stop...unless you learn about the mental (and deal with) side of your illness. I know people who have suffered from the same illness but are no longer suffering from it , they still have it but it lies dormant while they completely abstain from alcohol. I certainly would try AA again...just talking with another person that has been through the same experience that you are experiencing and can identify with you, and you with him, might be the trigger that you need to set you on the road to recovery. they can tell you how they did it. If you don't like it you can leave....nothing lost.

I sincerely wish you all the success in the world....if you try AA again at least you will not feel so alone....they call alcoholism.....The lonely disease.

One last thing to remember....you are not a bad person trying to become good.....you are a sick person trying to get well. ..(if alcohol affects you the way you say.).. Dotpoom.

[Sailingbum1]

there is a drug (naltrexone i think) that is used for drug addicts to stop them from getting high and has been used in trials for alchoholics with great success . maybe you could see a doctor and ask about this .

Swap one drug for another drug, that does not make any sense at all.

Well I understand their are solutions/drugs that can be taking that react with alcohol by making the person have a massive hangover afterwards and uncomforterably ill during the drinking session. This eventually acts as a reverse palov's dog cure for most so that even smelling these evil spirits make you want to puke.

I feel this way about Southern Comfort and perhaps mixing my Rum with coke caused those hungovered experiences that will easily stop me at 2 Cuba Libre's.

As a binge drinker like most Sailors and many other ex-military I know this guys drill. I haven't burned through the violent shield yet and don't intend to though I am very awarre of it's thinning protection from the poison I have abused my biological machine with. Cocaine 50x worse and meth is off the scale

With most people I have found vodka and Tequila to be the most likely to cause an aggressive state. Fortunately as my Thai wife came at me with a meat cleaver on Tequila one night in Saipan. She feared arrest more then her alcohol driven insane actions and choose not to lop of my head after breaking in a locked room after she turn violent and I lay on the bed with my head over the edge telling her to please make it a good clean cut. Fortunately that broke her out off her drama.If we had been in Thailand at the time I probably wouldn't be writting this

I knew as a fact she was xxxxxxx while I was gone and Tequila and confronting this fact set her off. A show perhaps. we all play a drama part sometime But boozing beyond the limit which is what bingers do, Can put you in all kinds of bad situations that can and often do escalate to tragedy By letting the UGLY out. Black outs and distorted memoriesare always the prides saving grace. Unless you wake up in jail and or have driven drunk or gotten in a fight and killed someone.

I have also observed that once we are truly aware of thr problem and do not take the necessary steps to fix it the problems becme worse and worse until..... wel.....l you really need a drink.

God luck buddy hit the meetings save your life but be careful about drinking counterfit logo STARBUNG coffee. You dn't need that kind of trouble.

Edited November 8, 2013 by metisdead
Inappropriate language removed.

[Africanteacher]

Bravo to Restinpeace. Respect.

[Mur]

Dont pick up that 1st drink mate and you'll never get drunk again. Been workin for me for nearly 20 years.

[NoshowJones]

The thing is you know and are big enough to admit your alcohol problems, that must be a good thing and maybe you can do something about it. I am the last person to give advice being a lifelong non drinker. I hope you can solve your problems and wish you all the best in dealing with it.

[uptheos]

There are a lot of foreigners here who attend regular AA meetings with apparent good results.

It's important to understand that you are not alone by a long shot, you need support, friendship and most of all the willingness never to touch another drop of alcohol. If you go for it seriously, there will never be such a thing as a 'one off'' social drink........never!

Good luck.

PS. You are definitely in the wrong country to be a violent alcoholic, you won't last long if you continue.

Edited November 8, 2013 by uptheos

[The Usual Suspect]

Unless you truly WANT TO STOP using and abusing alcohol, and do WHATEVER IT TAKES to stay sober, you will only fail at every attempt. Alcoholism is a bottomless pit that will kill you eventually if you don't quit. You will wind up like all the others who fill the pages of the local news here in LOS....."death caused by alcohol abuse". I'm not talking out of my arse here. I'm talking from experience. I was a practicing alcoholic most of my adult life, until I finally got totally clean at age 55. It was pure luck that I lived long enough to save myself. Find some A.A. meetings (here's a link http://aathailand.org/ ) and keep going even if you hate it. Only hang out with old timers who have a lot of clean time if you are really serious about wanting to quit. They'll kick your ass in the right direction. By the way, even though there are no A.A. meetings near where I live in Isaan, I still call my original AA sponsor in the US a couple times a week and drop a call to some trusted recovered alcoholics here in LOS when I'm having a bad day. Good luck and God Speed!

Edited November 8, 2013 by The Usual Suspect

[ironhorse10]

If you want to quit there is a few things you need to know, quitting is not easy, First thing is, you can't take that first drink,you cannot control your drinking after that, You need support, I get mine from AA, if you go to an AA meeting and you don't like that group find another. At first you might not like going to any meetings, most poeple still drinking doesn't want to hear about AA, you know why? Its because AA has helped millions get and stay sober. You have already taken the 1st step, why not try the other 11, it works. I didn't get sober in AA but it helps me stay sober, I got sober in a VA hospital. That was 28 years ago. Most of my friends my age have already died from drinking, except a few that saw me get sober and did the same. There are meetings everywhere , everyday and night, find 1 you like, get a sponsor right away, even if that person is only temperary,but remember "Don't take that first drink". Best of luck, you can PM me if you'd like. I would like to hear from you.

[ianf]

I've had alcoholics in the family. At the end of the day the only person that can help you is you yourself. It's called willpower. My mother tried everything - none of it worked. One day, she woke up in the morning and just said 'no more'. She poured all the wine, Dubonnet (!) and Whisky down the pan and then for the next 30 years didn't touch a drop. No person could help her. Sheer will power won in the end. Another friend went out and bought a bicycle. Everytime he wanted a drink he went out cycling (Bizarre but true!). He ended up really fit, after getting rid of his horrible gut, and now races with the veterans in the UK quite successfully. Willpower can win in the end - if you allow it to! Best of luck.

[stubuzz]

Alcohol and drug abuse is used to mask deeply disturbing psychological problems. You will not stop drinking until you find out what you are hiding from. A psychiatrist or a professional councilor is what you need.

[taqila]

there is a drug (naltrexone i think) that is used for drug addicts to stop them from getting high and has been used in trials for alchoholics with great success . maybe you could see a doctor and ask about this .

You won't be addicted to this Naltrexone, it's not a narcotic to substitute alcohol for a mellow feeling. Just taking the first one especially on an empty stomach in the morning may give you such a stomach ache that you will be so sick in the stomach you will hate yourself when you even think about taking another drink of alcohol. If that don't do it for you then 2nd one just before you normally have your first beer may stop you. I had one 3 days ago and the memories of the stomach ache is so bad, not sure when or if I'll ever have another beer again. At least it should keep you sober enough to get to an AA meeting hopefully.

[dotpoom]

I've had alcoholics in the family. At the end of the day the only person that can help you is you yourself. It's called willpower. My mother tried everything - none of it worked. One day, she woke up in the morning and just said 'no more'. She poured all the wine, Dubonnet (!) and Whisky down the pan and then for the next 30 years didn't touch a drop. No person could help her. Sheer will power won in the end. Another friend went out and bought a bicycle. Everytime he wanted a drink he went out cycling (Bizarre but true!). He ended up really fit, after getting rid of his horrible gut, and now races with the veterans in the UK quite successfully. Willpower can win in the end - if you allow it to! Best of luck.

According to that logic....If I wanted to rid myself of cancer all I have to do is use my willpower........or buy a bicycle.

I am not disrespecting your opinion, I'm aware it has been your experience....but please, take it from every alcoholic I have ever met, willpower did not work for them over this illness (obsession...which is stronger than any willpower)........but they had hugh willpower in every other department of their lives. We are dealing here with life and death.....that is simply why I responded...not to be offensive.