Naive or expecting too much ?

[CharlieH]

I have been on this forum a little over 3 years. It has started to become more apparent that some or sorry to say more and more members are bullying, abusive and down right rude. Sometimes without reason or being provoked. It seems almost as though its a kind of sport, to wind someone up, to attack them, ridicule them, belittle them or their opinion in anyway possible to make themselves appear superior.

What is wrong with these people ? Why as "normal" people do we allow this to happen? Is it for some sort of perverse entertainment.

Many of the "attacks" are cowardly, in that they do so from the apparent safety of behind a screen and keyboard, they can be obnoxious and rude anonymously, gives them courage etc, and I feel certain that the things said would never be said or even contemplated if they were in an actual real life room with that person, that manners, social etiquette and certainly respect for age or gender etc would certainly come into play as would FEAR, fear that they would suffer the physical consequences of such verbal abuse.

This brings forward another point, is it whats said, or is it how its perceived?

We , well most of us, are not English majors, English is not even the main language for some. So, without tone or expression or posture and eye contact, which forms a huge part of communication can you be certain of how something was intended or is it just how you read it and received it given your own disposition?

If someone states an opinion, it is just that, their opinion, they are entitled to it, you dont have to agree with it or even like it, but why then do people attack them personally, instead of debating or trying to change the opinion of that person with reasonable argument. If not then just agree to differ, is that really so difficult to do.

Does resorting to attacking the person and not the subject or opinion show a lack of intelligence.

Why cant people just show mutual respect. Many of the topics are asking for information guidance opinions, I dont think anyone actually comes here looking to abuse anyone, and definately not to be abused thats for sure. That most come as a source of information, for a degree of social interaction with other expats and help people.

Ok, I dont like long posts either so, thats it from me.

Whats your thoughts ? Anyone want to discuss it or add your own perspective?

[thequietman]

Who or what is nieve?

Do you mean naïve?

If yes, then you are, yes.

If you mean this

nieve

¹ /niv, nif/ Show Spelled [neev, neef] Show IPA

noun

Archaic Northern British and Scot. Dialect . a clenched or closed hand; fist

then I am confused. Sorry.

[canman]

Quite agree with what you say. Occasionaly I will rise to the bait and bite back, more out of boredom at the time than anything else. 90% of the time I just ignor any ignorant replies.

[CharlieH]

There we go, first off the bat, the spelling ! Perfect, as titles cant be changed, excuse my error. But I think most people will know what was meant.

[h90]

There are idi0ts and there will be idi0ts till the end of the time.....

Just ignore them. If you get serious about them, they won.

[soi41]

If you allow "them" to get to you, "they" win!!

General rule on forums, attack the post not the poster!

On the other hand, I think the OP takes it way too seriously. After all it is a bit of banter and entertainment. Especially if you choose to post in "general", be prepared for an attack or two on your avatar!!

I think you are confusing Thaivisa with "real life"

[quadrant]

some people don't read the post properly. result=misunderstanding - and then start shooting from the hip.

some instances are probably grudges toward other posters because they have been attacked by them earlier = pay back time!

and some probably get a kick out of winding others up just for the fun of it.

cheers

[chrisinth]

Have to agree with you Charlie, there seem to be a lot more posters looking to Flame rather than discuss/give their opinions. Whether in their own minds they think they are spicing the topics up, who knows?

I do have to say that the moderators have a difficult job to do with adjudication, but in 9 out of 10 cases do a very good job of it. Certainly compared to other forums that are allowed to run wild.

Still, you will always find the aggressors...........................

[chrisinth]

Who or what is nieve?

Do you mean naïve?

If yes, then you are, yes.

If you mean this

nieve

¹ /niv, nif/ Show Spelled [neev, neef] Show IPA

noun

Archaic Northern British and Scot. Dialect . a clenched or closed hand; fist

then I am confused. Sorry. alt=wai.gif width=20 height=20>

I can see this for the wind-up it is on this topic.

Or at least I hope I do??................

[MilesofSmiles]

Well said.

You don't have to agree with what other people say, but they have a right to say it (and should defend it , as per famous quote).

Does resorting to attacking the person and not the subject or opinion show a lack of intelligence.

Yes.

This tactic is not only personally offensive but also logically unacceptable because it violates two core principles of reasoning.

First, a person has an intellectual responsibility to respond to the content of an argument. Second, the character attack itself is

irrelevant to the person’s argument (whether or not it is true). Even morally flawed people can present sound arguments.

The ad hominem fallacy comes in three identifiable varieties:

• abusive: directly denouncing character (old-fashioned name-calling).
• circumstantial: raising special circumstances in an attempt to discredit a person’s motives (also known as “poisoning the well”).
• tu quoque: accusing the other person of hypocrisy as an attempt to avoid personal criticism (tu quoque is Latin for “you too”).

http://www.reasons.org/articles/attack-the-argument-not-the-person
Nice summary of it....even if I would take issue with 'trust in god to do as he pleases' , ain't diversity grand.

http://www.philosophyetc.net/2005/09/attacks-and-arguments.html

I saw a really good quote on a blog today here

The solution to such disagreements is, ideally, a community of inquirers working in good faith.
Determining who gets to determine "actual truth" is where the real problem lies. Insults are a way an arguer attempts to undermine
the individual as a source of truth, i.e. X can't be trusted they are a big fat liar as evidenced by Y"

Do you mean naïve?

If yes, then you are, yes

:-)

[MilesofSmiles]

[beachproperty]

I totally agree with what you said....being new to this forum I was naive ....and got baited ...snapped back and the rest is history...fast learning curve here on TV.

For me though, I have a very caustic and in your face personality in life (people either love me ...or hate me ...I think the later wins out..oh well!)...so, rightfully or wrongfully, said personality has been shown here on TV (I don't believe in tempering who I am...".I am what I am and that's what I am")...

Still working on the finesse part of my writing ....except being the bull in a china shop its a work in progress....But I am working on it...for those who's toes I've stepped on ....sorry ...well....maybe not....Just doing what I do....

Edited November 14, 2013 by beachproperty

[HeijoshinCool]

Does resorting to attacking the person and not the subject or opinion show a lack of intelligence?

Actually, yes. They either lack an argument to defend their positions, or perhaps have one, but cannot enunciate it.

Usually, it is the former, so they simply say things like, "Clearly you are both wrong and stupid."

​Then there's the crowd that is just so totally lacking in self-esteem, they try to raise it by attacking others.

I think your title, before someone changed it, was fine. Nieve in Spanish means snow, which would be expecting too much in southern Thailand. And, you should expect, Charlie, about the same chance of these people changing, as the chance for snow here tomorrow.

EDIT: Someone please tell me how to turn off the d@mn spell check.

Edited November 14, 2013 by HeijoshinCool

[CharlieH]

Who or what is nieve?

Do you mean naïve?

If yes, then you are, yes.

If you mean thisnieve

¹ /niv, nif/ Show Spelled [neev, neef] Show

noun

Archaic Northern British and Scot. Dialect . a clenched or closed hand; fist

then I am confused. Sorry. alt=wai.gif width=20 height=20>

I can see this for the wind-up it is on this topic.

Or at least I hope I do??................

Chrisinth:

Thankyou for this post it illustrates one of the points nicely.

You saw the post as a wind up, I read it totally different, as irrelevant to the topic and pointless nit-picking on spelling.

Without knowing the person, ( perhaps you do?) facial expression and tone of voice etc, two totally different takes on the same post.

[transam]

[JLCrab]

As I posted once before with even a 'Like' from George: Posting on ThaiVisa.com is good way to tell if my anti-psychotic medication is working or not.

[transam]

As I posted once before with even a 'Like' from George: Posting on ThaiVisa.com is good way to tell if my anti-psychotic medication is working or not.

A like from George, Blimey, your meds are working. PM me the details of the medication..........

[seajae]

Yep, what more can I say........

[NoshowJones]

Quite agree with what you say. Occasionaly I will rise to the bait and bite back, more out of boredom at the time than anything else. 90% of the time I just ignor any ignorant replies.

Yes, I agree entirely with Charlie, but I had to comment on an Australian would be teacher asking about a job teaching in Thailand, his post was full of mistakes and bad grammar. His post is on tonights forum. Australians are native English speakers, so the post is probably a troll.

[jackinbkk]

LOL! Your avatar is perfect for TV then OP. Not this **** again!

I've had my fair share of abuse and stereotypical responses to certain things such as 'Give up she wont be worth it... ...your looking through rose tinted glasses etc'. This experience encourages\conditions you to act in a similar manner. Hatred breeding hatred.

[HeijoshinCool]

As I posted once before with even a 'Like' from George: Posting on ThaiVisa.com is good way to tell if my anti-psychotic medication is working or not.

A like from George, Blimey, your meds are working. PM me the details of the medication..........

i had a like from George, once.

Something to do with foot fetishes.

(At this point, perhaps a smiley is appropriate).

[Neurath]

I remember kids from elementary school who would parade the gold stars they got for good behaviour. Found it offputting then.

[mca]

As I posted once before with even a 'Like' from George: Posting on ThaiVisa.com is good way to tell if my anti-psychotic medication is working or not.

If you're posting naked while caressing a hatchet and muttering "Little Pigs come out to play" in a high pitched voice then I guess the answer is no mate.

[weegee]

as the song says....Don't worry be happy..

bring back the "Grumpy Old Men", they used to input a lot of humour previously. Sadly, a lot no longer bother posting, anymore.....

It will go full circle one day I suppose...Just have to wait til then...

[JLCrab]

As I posted once before with even a 'Like' from George: Posting on ThaiVisa.com is good way to tell if my anti-psychotic medication is working or not.

If you're posting naked while caressing a hatchet and muttering "Little Pigs come out to play" in a high pitched voice then I guess the answer is no mate.

It isn't a hatchet.

[HeijoshinCool]

I remember kids from elementary school who would parade the gold stars they got for good behaviour. Found it offputting then.

So is jealousy.

Off-putting, that is.

[HeavyDrinker]

Anyone want to discuss it or add your own perspective?

Imagine you are in a room full of several hundred strangers with differing opinions.knowledge, lives and experiences to your own only in cyberspace. Would you expect them to all be shiny happy people were it in real life.

there are a lot of these sort of posts nowadays.....

May I ask what exactly you expected? I find it more bizarre that people even need to ask things like this....

[HeijoshinCool]

Anyone want to discuss it or add your own perspective?

Imagine you are in a room full of several hundred strangers with differing opinions.knowledge, lives and experiences to your own only in cyberspace. Would you expect them to all be shiny happy people were it in real life.

there are a lot of these sort of posts nowadays.....

May I ask what exactly you expected? I find it more bizarre that people even need to ask things like this....

Why should it be too much to ask for people to be moderately civilized to one another?

[CharlieH]

Anyone want to discuss it or add your own perspective?

Imagine you are in a room full of several hundred strangers with differing opinions.knowledge, lives and experiences to your own only in cyberspace. Would you expect them to all be shiny happy people were it in real life.

there are a lot of these sort of posts nowadays.....

May I ask what exactly you expected? I find it more bizarre that people even need to ask things like this....

Bizarre to expect a little common courtesy or mutual respect, or putting it bluntly "Civilized" ! to one another.

Yeah you are probably right I am asking or expecting too much ! but it doesnt hurt to try does it.

Edited November 14, 2013 by CharlieH

[benalibina]

A smple, anonymus, mind is a joy forever !