Divorce with a Wife who refuses to discuss......?

[Chivas]

No need to go into huge detail and for certain many will have been in the same position !!

However it comes to the point where you have to make a stand and sort the situation. Firstly am no angel but for once I am the innocent party in this and we have a child. The marriage has broken down and for reasons I do not give second chances on.

Unfortunately I never expected to be in this position and every single document relating to marriage, birth certificates, car documents etc are currently "unaccounted" for in that she has sold her mothers house where all my/our possessions were and no amount of sweet talk through gritted teeth, gets me anywhere as to there whereabouts.

I was recommended a Lawyer who I have noticed advertising on Thaivisa who I have contacted who wanted to open a file on myself (fair enough) but quite simply I cannot give him much detail, other than full name date of bith of wife and son but not a lot else.....

I have no email address or physical address for contact. She outright refuses to tell me.

How would you guys play this for now ?? There is no chance of our son being at risk. Her family is well off compared to most.

[Kangawallafox]

Did you pay for mums house,she probably thinks you are going to make a claim for it.

[Chivas]

Did you pay for mums house,she probably thinks you are going to make a claim for it.

No but the actual house was Gifted to my Wife by her mother whilst we were married. I have zero interest in the house whatsoever but sure as hell wouldn't mind my possessions back !!

Son is priority obviously. I suspect she herself might suddenly realise that marriage is marriage and she might like to remarry. In the meantime I am collating all dates of contact so as to ensure she doesn't pull the "havent seen him in years" ploy.....

Edited November 20, 2013 by Chivas

[Kangawallafox]

Did you pay for mums house,she probably thinks you are going to make a claim for it.

No but the actual house was Gifted to my Wife by her mother whilst we were married. I have zero interest in the house whatsoever but sure as hell wouldn't mind my possessions back !!

Son is priority obviously. I suspect she herself might suddenly realise that marriage is marriage and she might like to remarry. In the meantime I am collating all dates of contact so as to ensure she doesn't pull the "havent seen him in years" ploy.....

You say you can't forgive,I'm guessing she cheated.

[puukao]

sorry. can't help much, except to say hire a private investigator to follow/find her. hopefully she goes to see your son. or follow her youself and maybe talk to her friends and try to get as much information as possible. i'm sure someone can track down a family member and eventually someone will talk just to get rid of you. just go to all the places you both used to visit, and keep asking questions. someone knows something. it will be a tough road, but hopefully you and your son can have a normal relationship when he is an adult and less pressure from mom. good luck.

[Chivas]

Did you pay for mums house,she probably thinks you are going to make a claim for it.

No but the actual house was Gifted to my Wife by her mother whilst we were married. I have zero interest in the house whatsoever but sure as hell wouldn't mind my possessions back !!

Son is priority obviously. I suspect she herself might suddenly realise that marriage is marriage and she might like to remarry. In the meantime I am collating all dates of contact so as to ensure she doesn't pull the "havent seen him in years" ploy.....

You say you can't forgive,I'm guessing she cheated.

They only do it once with me and thats enough.

Its over and thats it. Obviously I'll do whats right for our son and normally that means parents together, but thats not going to happen again.

[Chivas]

I've got to go out for now but will revisit thread tomorrow, so dont think I'm ignoring any questions or advice.......Thanks

[AYJAYDEE]

Did you pay for mums house,she probably thinks you are going to make a claim for it.

No but the actual house was Gifted to my Wife by her mother whilst we were married. I have zero interest in the house whatsoever but sure as hell wouldn't mind my possessions back !!

Son is priority obviously. I suspect she herself might suddenly realise that marriage is marriage and she might like to remarry. In the meantime I am collating all dates of contact so as to ensure she doesn't pull the "havent seen him in years" ploy.....

You say you can't forgive,I'm guessing she cheated.

They only do it once with me and thats enough.

Its over and thats it. Obviously I'll do whats right for our son and normally that means parents together, but thats not going to happen again.

did you ever cheat on her?

[Kudel]

Hire a lawyer who does not advertise on thai visa.

[Neeranam]

n.

did you ever cheat on her?

Obviously not or he wouldn't be leaving her for cheating on him, would he?

I'd certainly leave my wife if she cheated on me, or might start cheating myself.

[AYJAYDEE]

n.

did you ever cheat on her?

Obviously not or he wouldn't be leaving her for cheating on him, would he?

I'd certainly leave my wife if she cheated on me, or might start cheating myself.

surely youre joking??

[Forethat]

lol, this'll be good...

[roamer]

Sorry to hear this Chivas, good luck. Any need to change your avatar ?

[jvs]

You should be able to get copies of the birth certificate at the amphur or the hospital?

If you have a joint bank account they will have a copy of her id card and i am sure if you think a bit you can find more.

Did your son go to school?

Maybe let things cool down a bit and try to reason with her and not accuse her,remember this is about your son.

If you got the house after you were married it is half yours,maybe this can get you some leverage.

Just relax and think things over you will come up with some resolutions.

If the marriage is over life will still go on.

[jacko45k]

I've got to go out for now but will revisit thread tomorrow, so dont think I'm ignoring any questions or advice.......Thanks

Have you previously posted on another Thai Forum under this same name???

[huwgo]

Refuse to divorce her or sign any papers. It may take a while for the penny to drop, but eventually she will look for security in another man and she will need to seek you out and acquiesce to your demands. Its a long term strategy but maybe threatening her with this will help in the short term. Good luck buddy

[LivinLOS]

The son is not at risk.. You dont want the house..

What are your goals in this ?? Just to get the paperwork closed ??

[Mario2008]

Moved to marriage and divorce.

[Andre0720]

On the subject of LOVE, by Henri Laborit:

Loving someone, should mean that we can accept that this person will think, feel, and act in a way that is not in accordance with our own desires, not in accordance with our own means of gratification,

to accept that this person will live in accordance with his or her own means of gratification....

Unfortunately, the cultural teachings through the milleniums has centered the feeling of love to a feeling of possession, of appropriation, of dependancy regarding the image that we have created about the loved one, to the effect that anyone behaving in such a fashion would be considered as indifferent.

Did you ever love her???

[brit1984]

since you asked how we would "play this", i will give an honest answer...

for the sake of the kid i would try everything to continue with status quo (or something as close to that as reasonably possible)

whether that legally includes divorce is another matter but don't see why the kid should be punished for his mum's bad behaviour

anyway, good luck to you and your son for the future

[orang37]

Sawasdee Khrup, Khun Chivas,

I'm sorry to hear about your personal tragedy, and do hope it works out ... somehow ... for better, rather than worse.

I strongly suggest you hire a good lawyer. PM me if you need the name of one in Bangkok who I've known for years (farang, connected, can hire PI if necessary).

I also suggest you make an "emergency plan" in case threats are made against you, or you need to leave the country suddenly.

best wishes, ~o:37;

[TTom911]

without going over the top (in terms of costs and "procedures"), but getting a private investigator to establish some basic facts about the whereabouts etc. is probably very prudent, also as a precaution before things (hopefully not, but who would know) might get even more difficult. And probably a good idea to keep quiet about what you find out so that people don't "change tactics". At least this way you are not totally at the mercy of people who by would only talk to you if they want something from you... GOOD LUCK

P.S.: But also be careful not to really "spook" your wife and her family (of course they should never know of a private investigator). I heard from others (luckily not my experience) that Thai families can get pretty irrational if they have nothing better to do than to ganging up against a "disposed of farang". Dependent on the people involved, an aspect not to take too lightly !

Edited November 21, 2013 by TTom911

[oxo1947]

Andre0720
Did you ever love her???
AYJAYDEE
did you ever cheat on her?
LivinLOS
What are your goals in this ?? Just to get the paperwork closed ??

Please remind me that if my wife ever Leaves me / steals all my money / runs off with a Gik / or takes a contract out on me------ Not to post on Thai Visa asking for help---- It was quite obviously completely my fault.

Wow I do hope the guy gets some constructive answers -(along the stuff from Orang JVS etc---to help him get it all together, other then some of the buckets being tipped on him--

[Estrada]

I bought a very expensive princess cut diamond ring for $20,000 for my ex Thai wife, and she said "don't worry darling, if we split up I'll give you it back". When we split up I asked for the ring back and she refused. When I reminded her that she told me she would give it back if we split up, she said "I lied". Then I remembered my ex-Thai wife had also told me: "What's yours is mine and what's mine's my own". You don't have much hope getting your possessions back, however she is traceable.

[DGIE]

She no longer loves you hmnn. Does she not care for your son?

She might have another farang prospect out there and maybe more handsome than you or richer than you.

Then after few years, she will break that guy up again

[DGIE]

I started to think now if I am going to marry any of my 3 Thai girlfriends. I read many times of separating thereafter. Anyway separation is good if the company pays you. But for wife...?

[Totster]

I bought a very expensive princess cut diamond ring for $20,000 for my ex Thai wife, and she said "don't worry darling, if we split up I'll give you it back". When we split up I asked for the ring back and she refused. When I reminded her that she told me she would give it back if we split up, she said "I lied".

5555555555555555555

Was the point of this post to make yourself look like a fool ? You succeeded !!

totster

[yooyoo]

Did you pay for mums house,she probably thinks you are going to make a claim for it.

No but the actual house was Gifted to my Wife by her mother whilst we were married. I have zero interest in the house whatsoever but sure as hell wouldn't mind my possessions back !!

Son is priority obviously. I suspect she herself might suddenly realise that marriage is marriage and she might like to remarry. In the meantime I am collating all dates of contact so as to ensure she doesn't pull the "havent seen him in years" ploy.....

It is all part of Thainess..... irrational, emotional blackmail ... all about money...

[Andre0720]

Andre0720

Did you ever love her???

AYJAYDEE

did you ever cheat on her?

LivinLOS

What are your goals in this ?? Just to get the paperwork closed ??

Please remind me that if my wife ever Leaves me / steals all my money / runs off with a Gik / or takes a contract out on me------ Not to post on Thai Visa asking for help---- It was quite obviously completely my fault.

Wow I do hope the guy gets some constructive answers -(along the stuff from Orang JVS etc---to help him get it all together, other then some of the buckets being tipped on him--

Thanks for that...

We were getting low on lecturing....

[joboss]

I started to think now if I am going to marry any of my 3 Thai girlfriends. I read many times of separating thereafter. Anyway separation is good if the company pays you. But for wife...?

Please... for the reasons of sanity.. Stop thinking!!