Photographer Speak

[sunshine51]

Many photographers speak in a different language than most

ordinary people do. Certain phrases have different meanings

to a photographer than say...to an engineer.

So...on a lighter note...here's some definitons of Photog Speak;

When photographers say…What are you shooting?
They actually mean…
Hello there! This is me, trying to break the ice.

When photographers say…I work primarily with natural light.
They actually mean…
My flash exposures are awful. Seriously, they’re awful.

When photographers say…I only carry out minimal post

processing.
They actually mean…
Photoshop confuses the heck out of me. I mean, I can
shuffle the Unsharp Mask sliders left and right a bit,
but I really have no idea what I’m doing.

When photographers say...I love the way that you’ve

processed your photos.
They actually mean…
I’d love to copy that look – can you tell me how you did it?

When photographers say…What I try to evoke through my

photography is the feeling I experienced at the time of

pressing the shutter.
They actually mean…
I see stuff and then take pictures of it.

When photographers say…I try to capture a fleeting

moment in time in my images.
They actually mean…
I see stuff and then take pictures of it. Or rather, I don’t
see stuff as I tend to shoot at the fastest frame rate and
HOPE TO GOD I get something.

When photographers say…I prefer to work in the black and

white medium.
They actually mean…
Man, I love the way I can rescue my bad exposures with
a black and white conversion. Hopefully my burnt-out
highlights and clipped shadows won’t be quite so obvious
now.

When photographers say…I love taking pictures of ordinary

people.
They actually mean…
I can’t light a portrait to save my life – but craggy old folk
or homeless people in unflattering light? Bingo!

When photographers say…There are so many alternatives

to Photoshop out there!
They actually mean…
I can’t afford Photoshop.

When photographers say…I’m thinking of switching to just

shooting primes.
They actually mean…
Serious photographers use primes, right? I definitely
want to be one of those.

When photographers say…I’m a reportage-style wedding

photographer
They actually mean…
Having to herd wedding guests into shape for a formal
group portrait – let alone talk to them – absolutely terrifies
me. The widest focal length you’ll catch me with at a wedding
is the short end of a 70-200mm zoom. And don’t even get me
started on off-camera lighting…

When photographers say…(To a model) Just sit/stand how you

feel comfortable
They actually mean…
Honestly, love, I really have no clue how to pose you for this
picture.

When photographers say…I’m completely self-taught.
They actually mean…
Hell, if you don’t think my pictures are any good now, you
should have seen them a few years ago, before I read a
photography magazine!

When photographers say…For me, photography is about

more than just taking pictures
– it’s about telling stories.
They actually mean…
Yeah, those photos on my Flickr are supposed to be as blurred
and badly composed as one of your dad’s Polaroids from the

70s – they’re documentary style, see?

When photographers say…To be honest, my camera is just a

tool.
They actually mean…
To be really honest, I don’t know what half the stuff on my DSLR
does. There’s only one tool in this picture-taking partnership, and

it’s not the camera…

When photographers say…I’m thinking of going full-frame.
They actually mean…
I believe that a full-frame camera will instantly allow me to make
professional-looking pictures. I know, tell me about it! That’s

what I’m telling my wife/husband/partner, anyway.

When photographers say…I’m out of memory!
They actually mean…
Look, everyone! Look at how much of an enthusiast I am
– I’ve filled 16GB in an hour!

When photographers say…I’m beginning to use my iPhone

more and more.
They actually mean…
I’m starting to regret how much I’ve blown on lenses that I
can’t face lugging it all around any longer.

When photographers say…Honestly, I can do 99% of my work

with an f/4 lens – I can’t see any advantage in getting the f/2.8

version.
They actually mean…
I wish I could afford the faster, f/2.8 version.

When photographers say…I need a faster lens.
They actually mean…
I want a new toy.

When photographers say…I’m thinking of changing systems
They actually mean…
I’m convinced that my current, high-quality gear is the real
reason I’m not fulfilling my creative vision. Besides, I’ve
read that the other system will give me a half-stop ISO
advantage, and that really will make all the difference to
someone like me who doesn’t make a living from photography.

When photographers say…The light’s just not right
They actually mean…
I’m all out of ideas. I don’t know what to take pictures of

in this light.

When photographers say…It’s what’s behind the camera that

counts.
They actually mean…
I need a new camera.

When photographers say…I started to take photography.

seriously three years ago.
They actually mean…
I bought my first DSLR three years ago.

When photographers say…What ISO are you on?
They actually mean…
My pictures are coming out blurred – throw me a bone!

When photographers say…What settings are you using?
They actually mean…
I’m not confident with this expensive camera – these dials
and menus might as well all be in Latin. You look like a real
photographer, and I’d like to take EXACTLY the same picture
as the one that you’re taking right now.

When photographers say…I’m a fine-art landscape photographer.
They actually mean…
My back-order for a Lee Big Stopper has been fulfilled!

When photographers say…I specialise in landscapes, travel,

macro and portraits.
They actually mean…
I’ll shoot anything.

When photographers say…You’ve got some great bokeh there.
They actually mean…
I’m more at ease talking about the mechanics of photography
than entering into a discussion of the artistic merits of your picture.

Hey, did I mention that it looks really sharp? What lens did you use?

When photographers say…I’ll fix that later.
They actually mean…
I’d rather spend hours touching up this photo than finding a better
angle that doesn’t include that barbed-wire fence.

When photographers say…I try to get everything right in-camera.
They actually mean…
I try to get everything right in-camera, but often fail and have to do
a patch up job in Photoshop.

When photographers say…I miss film.
They actually mean…
Everyone’s a photographer these days....

NB...edited to tidy up some stuff...

Edited November 27, 2013 by sunshine51

[Goshawk]

.Brilliant. As they say.... there's many a true word spoken in jest.

too many golden nuggets to choose from there sunshine, but..

When photographers say…I started to take photography seriously three years ago. They actually mean…I bought my first DSLR three years ago

and

When photographers say…I’m thinking of going full-frame. They actually mean…I believe that a full-frame camera will instantly allow me to make professional-looking pictures.

particularly shine bright...

[Fiddlesticks]

Sunshine,

Very funny piece but with a dash of truth in each quote. My favorites:

When photographers say…I’m a fine-art landscape photographer.
They actually mean…
My back-order for a Lee Big Stopper has been fulfilled!

and

When photographers say…You’ve got some great bokeh there.

They actually mean…
I’m more at ease talking about the mechanics of photography
than entering into a discussion of the artistic merits of your picture.

Hey, did I mention that it looks really sharp? What lens did you use?

[Robby nz]

You missed

"I prefer a natural look to a photo"

They (I) mean

"I wouldn't know how the hell to use any of that PP stuff."

[fimgirl]

When photographers say....... I prefer film over digital

They actually mean

I can't sell my film gear !

I've got film cameras, scanners and a 'fridge full of outdated film.............. And I'm stuck with it !

[MJP]

When photographers say....... I prefer film over digital

They actually mean

I can't sell my film gear !

I've got film cameras, scanners and a 'fridge full of outdated film.............. And I'm stuck with it !

Use it and enjoy it. Aijaydee does all film with an old Pentax LX.

Black and white stuff always looks great on film.

Here's another saying. "I want an new camera because I'm bored and I'm bored of the old one even though it will make no difference whatsoever to anything. I also want far more lenses than I could ever use, because I'm bored."

[sunshine51]

Hey all....please feel free to add your own!

Just a fast addition instead of another post...

I never mentioned that my favourite saying

regarding what aperture I'm using when I'm

asked what aperture I'm using...never mind

the time of day or type of kit I'm using is....

f8

That gets some strange looks & head scratches.

Edited November 27, 2013 by sunshine51

[MJP]

Hey all....please feel free to add your own!

Just a fast addition instead of another post...

I never mentioned that my favourite saying

regarding what aperture I'm using when I'm

asked what aperture I'm using...never mind

the time of day or type of kit I'm using is....

f8

That gets some strange looks & head scratches.

Sunny sixteen!!!!

[Robby nz]

"I have my priorities....................................."

"I don't know how to do anything else"

[Robby nz]

"I prefer a simple point and shoot camera"

"I bought a DSLR but cant make head not tail of the bloody thing"

[MJP]

"All this 5hit is costing a bloody fortune!"

Meaning: I'd like a new motorbike instead really.

Edited November 27, 2013 by MJP

[Goshawk]

When photographers say....Trust me, i know what i'm talking about, i'm a professional. They actually mean....i'm a fake photographer that's been winging it for so long that i'm totally gobsmacked nobody's bloody well cottoned on yet.

.

.

Fake photographer- definition: A talentless person, armed with a camera, who can pull off the appearance of ability.

1. It has been said that a good artist never blames his tools (or something to that effect) but there are no good artists here, so it is perfectly acceptable for a fake photographer to blame his/ her bad pictures on the quality of their camera. This is also helpful for those on a tight budget, as there is no need to purchase an expensive instrument; a cheap camera will work very well.

2. To pull off the illusion of talent, it is essential to have an artsy mindset. Tilting your camera angle works very well in creating an artsy feel to your pictures. It sends the message that you see the world from a different perspective than your less gifted associates. You're willing to turn things around, and look at your world from all angles and possibilities!

3. A rule that all fake photographers know well is the black and white rule. Converting a picture to black and white will automatically improve a bad picture, and give it a look of professionalism. Everything looks good in black and white!

4. People make assumptions about you, just by the company you keep. Hanging around with other photographers (or following photography blogs if you are a blogger) and or artistic minded people, will cause people to assume that you are just as talented as your friends. However, proceed with caution. Friends that are too talented may have the opposite effect.

5. If posting pictures on the internet, posting an inspiring quote alongside it, leads people to believe that there is a deeper meaning to your picture than meets the eye. It is likely that no one will ever figure out this trick, because no one will admit that they don't see the beauty in your pictures. They are too afraid that others will view them as uncouth, and unsophisticated (they won't realize that no one else gets it either!)

6. Using knowing language such as " the light in this room is very bad", "lens" and "angle" will make you sound legit.

7. If you have no qualms about taking advantage of people, selling your pictures for an outrageous price, will not only make you money, but will also benefit you in your endeavor to appear gifted. The same principle is used with artists selling their paintings. The more expensive it is, people will assume that it is worth buying!

.

Thank

Thank gawd i'm just a lousy amateur...

[MJP]

When photographers say....Trust me, i know what i'm talking about, i'm a professional. They actually mean....i'm a fake photographer that's been winging it for so long that i'm totally gobsmacked nobody's bloody well cottoned on yet.

.

.

Fake photographer- definition: A talentless person, armed with a camera, who can pull off the appearance of ability.

1. It has been said that a good artist never blames his tools (or something to that effect) but there are no good artists here, so it is perfectly acceptable for a fake photographer to blame his/ her bad pictures on the quality of their camera. This is also helpful for those on a tight budget, as there is no need to purchase an expensive instrument; a cheap camera will work very well.

2. To pull off the illusion of talent, it is essential to have an artsy mindset. Tilting your camera angle works very well in creating an artsy feel to your pictures. It sends the message that you see the world from a different perspective than your less gifted associates. You're willing to turn things around, and look at your world from all angles and possibilities!

3. A rule that all fake photographers know well is the black and white rule. Converting a picture to black and white will automatically improve a bad picture, and give it a look of professionalism. Everything looks good in black and white!

4. People make assumptions about you, just by the company you keep. Hanging around with other photographers (or following photography blogs if you are a blogger) and or artistic minded people, will cause people to assume that you are just as talented as your friends. However, proceed with caution. Friends that are too talented may have the opposite effect.

5. If posting pictures on the internet, posting an inspiring quote alongside it, leads people to believe that there is a deeper meaning to your picture than meets the eye. It is likely that no one will ever figure out this trick, because no one will admit that they don't see the beauty in your pictures. They are too afraid that others will view them as uncouth, and unsophisticated (they won't realize that no one else gets it either!)

6. Using knowing language such as " the light in this room is very bad", "lens" and "angle" will make you sound legit.

7. If you have no qualms about taking advantage of people, selling your pictures for an outrageous price, will not only make you money, but will also benefit you in your endeavor to appear gifted. The same principle is used with artists selling their paintings. The more expensive it is, people will assume that it is worth buying!

.

Thank

Thank gawd i'm just a lousy amateur...

You're actually good. I don't understand the paintings genre phase thing you're going through at the moment, but I do like it.

[Goshawk]

I don't understand the paintings genre phase thing you're going through at the moment, but I do like it.

oh....i go through more phases than the Moon does over a millennium. ..

understanding? not required. criticism? welcome. appreciation? appreciated ..

[Robby nz]

"I've considered upgrading but I really prefer what I am using now"

"I cant afford anything better"

[sunshine51]

When photographers say....Trust me, i know what i'm talking about, i'm a professional. They actually mean....i'm a fake photographer that's been winging it for so long that i'm totally gobsmacked nobody's bloody well cottoned on yet.

.

.

Fake photographer- definition: A talentless person, armed with a camera, who can pull off the appearance of ability.

1. It has been said that a good artist never blames his tools (or something to that effect) but there are no good artists here, so it is perfectly acceptable for a fake photographer to blame his/ her bad pictures on the quality of their camera. This is also helpful for those on a tight budget, as there is no need to purchase an expensive instrument; a cheap camera will work very well.

2. To pull off the illusion of talent, it is essential to have an artsy mindset. Tilting your camera angle works very well in creating an artsy feel to your pictures. It sends the message that you see the world from a different perspective than your less gifted associates. You're willing to turn things around, and look at your world from all angles and possibilities!

3. A rule that all fake photographers know well is the black and white rule. Converting a picture to black and white will automatically improve a bad picture, and give it a look of professionalism. Everything looks good in black and white!

4. People make assumptions about you, just by the company you keep. Hanging around with other photographers (or following photography blogs if you are a blogger) and or artistic minded people, will cause people to assume that you are just as talented as your friends. However, proceed with caution. Friends that are too talented may have the opposite effect.

5. If posting pictures on the internet, posting an inspiring quote alongside it, leads people to believe that there is a deeper meaning to your picture than meets the eye. It is likely that no one will ever figure out this trick, because no one will admit that they don't see the beauty in your pictures. They are too afraid that others will view them as uncouth, and unsophisticated (they won't realize that no one else gets it either!)

6. Using knowing language such as " the light in this room is very bad", "lens" and "angle" will make you sound legit.

7. If you have no qualms about taking advantage of people, selling your pictures for an outrageous price, will not only make you money, but will also benefit you in your endeavor to appear gifted. The same principle is used with artists selling their paintings. The more expensive it is, people will assume that it is worth buying!

.

Thank

Thank gawd i'm just a lousy amateur...

Hah! Good stuff GH!

Regarding #3....As my father once told me when he & mom returned from a night

out with friends & caught me & a GF on the sofa buck nekkid....

"Son...there's a time & place for everything."

Paul Simon even dedicated a line to B&W photography in the song Kodachrome...

Hope all enjoy the song....

[MJP]

"I've considered upgrading but I really prefer what I am using now"

"I cant afford anything better"

Or, "This 5hit is costing a bloody fortune!"

Or, "How many lenses does it take to build a 3-bed bungalow?"

Or, as non-photog friends say "Really??? !!!!!"

[Goshawk]

When photographers say....I'm totally dedicated to my genre. They actually mean....i'm a freaking obsessive nutcase that will do anything to get that shot!

[Robby nz]

When photographers say....I'm totally dedicated to my genre. They actually mean....i'm a freaking obsessive nutcase that will do anything to get that shot!

Wouldn't he be in strife if a randy male swan came along.

[MJP]

When photographers say....I'm totally dedicated to my genre. They actually mean....i'm a freaking obsessive nutcase that will do anything to get that shot!

Wouldn't he be in strife if a randy male swan came along.

F'ing LOL!!!

[sunshine51]

@GH....

"When photographers say....I'm totally dedicated to my genre. They actually

mean....i'm a freaking obsessive nutcase that will do anything to get that shot!"

I agree...Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is an essential part of the

photographic process!

And perseverance can sometimes really pay off...

However...I reckon it's best to not overdo it...

Because then...things get kinda silly...

[sunshine51]

When a photographer says....It's all about perspective & how I see things...

He actually means....Which end is which on this thing?

[Robby nz]

That funny looking photographer fella said I got great bokeh.

Is he a homosexual or somthin

[Goshawk]

When photographers say....I'm lucky, scene set-up & composition just come naturally to me. They actually mean....Dealing with annoying distractions can be a tough challenge.