Tom Daley joins the ranks...

[sustento]

[onthemoon]

Never heard of him before, but Google has lots of pictures!

Cute. And congrats to him for coming out.

[LeCharivari]

Never heard of him before, but Google has lots of pictures!

Cute. And congrats to him for coming out.

Whatever else he's done, he certainly hasn't "come out", at least as "GAY" despite what the gay media have rushed to claim.

He never said that he was gay. He never actually mentioned the word "gay". In interviews in September he said "I think it's funny when people say I'm gay … I laugh it off. I'm not. But even if I was, I wouldn't be ashamed. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest what people thought."

What Tom Daley probably is, and has always been thought to be, is bi. What he certainly is, is very media savvy. Wiith his income depending very much on remaining in the media spotlight, its surprising that he's not even been nominated for British Sports Personality of the Year since 2010 (a title he won in 2009) and he's been out of the running for Male Hottie of the Year and Best Young Sports Star and Best British Sports Star since 2011/2012. That makes him ancient history in media terms. This raises his profile enormously and puts him back very firmly in the media spotlight.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/dec/02/tom-daley-bisexual-sexuality-diver-relationship-man

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/sep/11/tom-daley-not-gay-reset-the-gaydar

http://www.sbnation.com/london-olympics-2012/2012/8/10/3231463/tom-daley-gay-matthew-mitcham-olympics-london-diving

[sustento]

In the video which was uploaded yesterday he said he is in a relationship with a man. I suggest you watch it.

[sustento]

It doesn't really matter whether he's gay or bi. The Great British Public like him and if they believe he's gay that will alter public opinion a little more in our favour. The coming out of Stephen Gateley had a more beneficial effect on public opinion than 20 years of Tatchell's antics (apart from all those teenage girls whose hearts he (Gateley) broke of course).

[sustento]

PS I'd do him...

[LeCharivari]

In the video which was uploaded yesterday he said he is in a relationship with a man. I suggest you watch it.

Ummmm ..... did ..... that was how I knew he hadn't said that he was gay .... and most gay people I know don't say "Of course I still fancy girls, but right now I'm dating a guy and I couldn't be happier" as if its a phase that's likely to pass (except lesbians, of course).

I also read the interviews I linked to where he clearly said he was NOT gay ... I suggest you read those! Pink News has actually changed its headline from Tom Daley comes out as gay in you-tube video to Tom Daley: I'm dating a guy and I couldn't be happier, which THEY obviously think is not the same thing or they wouldn't have changed it.

As the Guardian and others have said, its something he carefully avoids saying and he is clearly implying that he is possibly bi, is very much still attracted to the opposite sex, and that this may be a passing phase. I wonder if the gay press and his gay supporters will be quite so supportive and see his presumed "coming out" as such a good thing if (and I emphasise IF) he "stops" being gay and has a relationship with a girl who "cures" him instead ....

[Jingthing]

He's great whatever he is.

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[Exsexyman]

In the video which was uploaded yesterday he said he is in a relationship with a man. I suggest you watch it.

Ummmm ..... did ..... that was how I knew he hadn't said that he was gay .... and most gay people I know don't say "Of course I still fancy girls, but right now I'm dating a guy and I couldn't be happier" as if its a phase that's likely to pass (except lesbians, of course).

I also read the interviews I linked to where he clearly said he was NOT gay ... I suggest you read those! Pink News has actually changed its headline from Tom Daley comes out as gay in you-tube video to Tom Daley: I'm dating a guy and I couldn't be happier, which THEY obviously think is not the same thing or they wouldn't have changed it.

As the Guardian and others have said, its something he carefully avoids saying and he is clearly implying that he is possibly bi, is very much still attracted to the opposite sex, and that this may be a passing phase. I wonder if the gay press and his gay supporters will be quite so supportive and see his presumed "coming out" as such a good thing if (and I emphasise IF) he "stops" being gay and has a relationship with a girl who "cures" him instead ....

To be honest i don't think this has come as a huge shock to many people, certainly in the UK. As for his hastily added rider, ' Of course, i still fancy girls', i would imagine that could have something to do with the fact that he has a prime time TV series starting, next week, i believe! For some strange reason his coming out is being given massive coverage by UK newspapers, not just the tabloids either. Surely the days are gone when news of this kind warrants such coverage. Apart from a few bigots, and dyed in the wool members of the older generation,(Like Clare Balding's Grandmother), most people really find it irrelevant. Of course the tabloids approached this from a sensational, salacious angle, not doubt they will already have hoards of people out going through Tom Daley's dustbin,etc, in a desperate attempt to be the first to disclose the identity of his boyfriend! The more serious newspapers though, were falling over themselves to keep repeating 'How brave he is'. While this may have been true ten years ago it is surely not the case now, in fact by going with this line, implying that somehow it takes bravery to come out, they could be reinforcing the impression to less self confident gay people that maybe it is better to stay in the closet. The truth is though, certainly where 'celebrities' are concerned, an announcement of this sort is met with around of applause! No need for bravery.

[Jingthing]

It is big news because he's an international sex symbol gay and straight. Chances are he is gay but playing the bi card for career. Yes that is still relevant and still sad.

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[sustento]

In the video which was uploaded yesterday he said he is in a relationship with a man. I suggest you watch it.

Ummmm ..... did ..... that was how I knew he hadn't said that he was gay .... and most gay people I know don't say "Of course I still fancy girls, but right now I'm dating a guy and I couldn't be happier" as if its a phase that's likely to pass (except lesbians, of course).

I also read the interviews I linked to where he clearly said he was NOT gay ... I suggest you read those! Pink News has actually changed its headline from Tom Daley comes out as gay in you-tube video to Tom Daley: I'm dating a guy and I couldn't be happier, which THEY obviously think is not the same thing or they wouldn't have changed it.

As the Guardian and others have said, its something he carefully avoids saying and he is clearly implying that he is possibly bi, is very much still attracted to the opposite sex, and that this may be a passing phase. I wonder if the gay press and his gay supporters will be quite so supportive and see his presumed "coming out" as such a good thing if (and I emphasise IF) he "stops" being gay and has a relationship with a girl who "cures" him instead ....

To be honest i don't think this has come as a huge shock to many people, certainly in the UK. As for his hastily added rider, ' Of course, i still fancy girls', i would imagine that could have something to do with the fact that he has a prime time TV series starting, next week, i believe! For some strange reason his coming out is being given massive coverage by UK newspapers, not just the tabloids either. Surely the days are gone when news of this kind warrants such coverage. Apart from a few bigots, and dyed in the wool members of the older generation,(Like Clare Balding's Grandmother), most people really find it irrelevant. Of course the tabloids approached this from a sensational, salacious angle, not doubt they will already have hoards of people out going through Tom Daley's dustbin,etc, in a desperate attempt to be the first to disclose the identity of his boyfriend! The more serious newspapers though, were falling over themselves to keep repeating 'How brave he is'. While this may have been true ten years ago it is surely not the case now, in fact by going with this line, implying that somehow it takes bravery to come out, they could be reinforcing the impression to less self confident gay people that maybe it is better to stay in the closet. The truth is though, certainly where 'celebrities' are concerned, an announcement of this sort is met with around of applause! No need for bravery.

Someone with millions of twitter followers only has to come out once. Most of us have to come out a number of times and are never guaranteed a reasonable result. You're never sure until after you've come out whether you're talking to a bigot or not. I came out to what I thought was a very close friend of some years. He turned around and walked away. I haven't seen or heard from him since.

[sustento]

Andrew Pierce:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2517827/ANDREW-PIERCE-Why-sports-stars-terrified-admit-theyre-gay.html

[AyG]

And now we know who the mystery boyfriend is:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/tom-daley-boyfriend-dustin-lance-2880389

I can't but help feeling a little uncomfortable that his partner is twice his age, but if the relationship makes him happy, then I'm pleased for him.

[Scott]

Whether he is gay, straight or bi, it's nice that we are entering a period of time where people feel free to explore their feelings for others, both emotionally and sexually and it's nice they can talk openly and freely about them.

The journey of self-discovery is not always a short one.

[AyG]

it's nice that we are entering a period of time where people feel free to explore their feelings for others

There's a part of me that suspects that this "coming out" wasn't exactly voluntary. The British tabloid press has a bad reputation for threatening heartlessly to out people, forcing them to come out prematurely.

[LeCharivari]

it's nice that we are entering a period of time where people feel free to explore their feelings for others

There's a part of me that suspects that this "coming out" wasn't exactly voluntary. The British tabloid press has a bad reputation for threatening heartlessly to out people, forcing them to come out prematurely.

The late Stephen Gateley, whom sustento mentioned, was a case in point.

[LeCharivari]

And now we know who the mystery boyfriend is:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/tom-daley-boyfriend-dustin-lance-2880389

I can't but help feeling a little uncomfortable that his partner is twice his age, but if the relationship makes him happy, then I'm pleased for him.

No great surprise there - his b/f fits the expected stereotype to a 'T'.

[sustento]

There was an article on the Daily Wail website which quoted Daley's biographer (having a biography written when you're still in your teens is another thread) as saying that one of the redtops was making enquiries about Daley's sexuality shortly before the 2012 Olympics which wouldn't have done much for his performance. Still the redtops never let decency get in the way of a salacious story.

[LeCharivari]

(edited)

The more serious newspapers though, were falling over themselves to keep repeating 'How brave he is'. While this may have been true ten years ago it is surely not the case now, in fact by going with this line, implying that somehow it takes bravery to come out, they could be reinforcing the impression to less self confident gay people that maybe it is better to stay in the closet. The truth is though, certainly where 'celebrities' are concerned, an announcement of this sort is met with around of applause! No need for bravery.

Agree 100%. All this "brave ... hero" stuff is sickening at the best of times, and totally unjustified.

.... and as you say, rather than encourage people to "come out" it could be as likely if not more to put some people off.

.... and yes, with "celebrities" its almost getting to the stage where if you're not a bit "gay" (or at least "bi") you're almost being left out of the boy band/teen idol/kid's choice groups.

[sustento]

(edited)

The more serious newspapers though, were falling over themselves to keep repeating 'How brave he is'. While this may have been true ten years ago it is surely not the case now, in fact by going with this line, implying that somehow it takes bravery to come out, they could be reinforcing the impression to less self confident gay people that maybe it is better to stay in the closet. The truth is though, certainly where 'celebrities' are concerned, an announcement of this sort is met with around of applause! No need for bravery.

Agree 100%. All this "brave ... hero" stuff is sickening at the best of times, and totally unjustified.

The fact that you apparently had no problems 'coming out' doesn't mean that no-one else did.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1447240/

[LeCharivari]

(edited)

As for his hastily added rider, ' Of course, i still fancy girls', i would imagine that could have something to do with the fact that he has a prime time TV series starting, next week, i believe!

I would imagine that his timing and the publicity drummed up around it is entirely due to the fact that he has a prime time TV series starting, next week, I believe!

The TV series needed a bigger publicity boost than celebrity chef Eddie 'the Eagle' Edwards, and Daley's agent has timed this stunt to perfection.

[LeCharivari]

(edited)

The more serious newspapers though, were falling over themselves to keep repeating 'How brave he is'. While this may have been true ten years ago it is surely not the case now, in fact by going with this line, implying that somehow it takes bravery to come out, they could be reinforcing the impression to less self confident gay people that maybe it is better to stay in the closet. The truth is though, certainly where 'celebrities' are concerned, an announcement of this sort is met with around of applause! No need for bravery.

Agree 100%. All this "brave ... hero" stuff is sickening at the best of times, and totally unjustified.

The fact that you apparently had no problems 'coming out' doesn't mean that no-one else did.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1447240/

I have never "been in", which makes it a bit hard to "come out" ..... nevertheless .....

My point was that Daley was never going to have any problems "coming out", either socially or within his sport - diving has more open gays at the top than any other sport, even ice skating. The same can't be said for many others who aren't going to "come out" to a welcome from their fellow "hotties" and gasps of fawning adoration from their hordes of fans, but who are faced with rejection and ridicule from their family and the few friends they have.

I'm not downplaying Daley's sporting ability and success or the hard work and dedication needed to reach the top in any sport or field, but just how and where does "brave" and "hero" come into it?

I can see that with Lee Pearson, but I just can't see it here .... and the genuinely "brave" ones in my view are those who've got nothing going for them - no supportive friends or family, no sporting ability, no "cute" appeal, just a faceful of zits and a perspiration problem - but who still decide to "come out" without using being gay as an excuse for their shortcomings.

[qdinthailand]

I thought this was about Tom Delay - the former #2 Republican of the leadership team (House Whip) in the U.S. House of Representatives during the George Bush years, representing a district in Texas, indicted and convicted, since overturned, for election finance fraud. One of them fundamentalist Christian types. Now, that Tom Delay coming out would have been real news.

This Tom Delay - who the hell?

[anon8]

Yeah, when reading the headline in Huffpost, I thought this is about Tom 'the hammer' Daley, major right wing <deleted>, who gerrymandered the voting districts in US so it is near impossible to vote out people like Bachmann.

The diver coming out is great news, we need more tuff guys coming out, to shake the image that all we gay people want to wear a dress and want to be women.

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[LeCharivari]

Yeah, when reading the headline in Huffpost, I thought this is about Tom 'the hammer' Daley, major right wing asshol_e, who gerrymandered the voting districts in US so it is near impossible to vote out people like Bachmann.

The diver coming out is great news, we need more tuff guys coming out, to shake the image that all we gay people want to wear a dress and want to be women.

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"The diver coming out is great news, we need more tuff guys coming out,"

Ummmm ..... whatever else he may be, he's hardly Orlando Cruz or Gareth Thomas

[sustento]

(edited)

The more serious newspapers though, were falling over themselves to keep repeating 'How brave he is'. While this may have been true ten years ago it is surely not the case now, in fact by going with this line, implying that somehow it takes bravery to come out, they could be reinforcing the impression to less self confident gay people that maybe it is better to stay in the closet. The truth is though, certainly where 'celebrities' are concerned, an announcement of this sort is met with around of applause! No need for bravery.

Agree 100%. All this "brave ... hero" stuff is sickening at the best of times, and totally unjustified.

The fact that you apparently had no problems 'coming out' doesn't mean that no-one else did.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1447240/

I have never "been in", which makes it a bit hard to "come out" ..... nevertheless ....

Then you aren't really in a a position to make light of the experiences of those who have.

'Brave' and 'hero' weren't words used by Daley - they're typical blogosphere fluff and nonsense posted more for the gratification of the poster than the recipient. Everyone wants to get in on the act.

Regardless of the fact that Daley is 'media savvy' he's a 19 year old who lost his father and had the strength of character to go on and win a medal at the Olympics. Whether that's 'brave' or not is a personal opinion.

[sustento]

I thought this was about Tom Delay - the former #2 Republican of the leadership team (House Whip) in the U.S. House of Representatives during the George Bush years, representing a district in Texas, indicted and convicted, since overturned, for election finance fraud. One of them fundamentalist Christian types. Now, that Tom Delay coming out would have been real news.

This Tom Delay - who the hell?

Tom Daley - world junior champion diver at the age of 15 and Olympic medal winner

Tom Daley - Politician who remains virtually unknown outside the USA

Easy to confuse eh?

Edited December 5, 2013 by sustento

[LeCharivari]

(edited to be within the allowed number of quoted blocks of text)

Agree 100%. All this "brave ... hero" stuff is sickening at the best of times, and totally unjustified.

The fact that you apparently had no problems 'coming out' doesn't mean that no-one else did.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1447240/

I have never "been in", which makes it a bit hard to "come out" ..... nevertheless ....

Then you aren't really in a a position to make light of the experiences of those who have.

'Brave' and 'hero' weren't words used by Daley - they're typical blogosphere fluff and nonsense posted more for the gratification of the poster than the recipient. Everyone wants to get in on the act.

Regardless of the fact that Daley is 'media savvy' he's a 19 year old who lost his father and had the strength of character to go on and win a medal at the Olympics. Whether that's 'brave' or not is a personal opinion.

"Then you aren't really in a a position to make light of the experiences of those who have."

As far as I can recall I have NEVER done so - but please correct me with a link if I ever have.

..... maybe you didn't read the rest of that particular post, as you have unfortunately edited out the portion which makes my views on those coming out very clear.

[Jingthing]

I heart the diver. On to Rio! Maybe a trip to Sochi would be in order?

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[Scott]

Now if the other Tom Daley came out, that would really be news. Not necessarily good news, but news none-the-less.

This one is a heck of a lot cuter, though.