What's The Worst Thing You've Done While Drunk?

[mumbojumbo]

Pissing the bed, pissing in the closet, pissing out the veranda on the sixed floor.

[Rj 81]

Going in work on the Monday after a works doo, and people asking "who was that bird you was dancing with, ha ha?" with big smiles on there faces.

To my knowledge they had got the wrong person, I mean, I remember standing up on the stage swinging my shirt around my head, like you do. I just said no I remember it must have been someone else.

But I really couldn't remember dancing with a bird, until the pictures came round on the email and yes there I was rolling around on the floor with a fat blond piece. The girl turned out to be a employee's girlfriend aswell. Very embarrassing indeed!

[daleyboy]

Well i very rarely drink. And in my life i have probably been drunk 5 times. But the funniest for everyone apart from the owners of a mexican restaurant in Bristol was when 40 of us went there to celebrate my 23rd birthday. we had the whole top floor booked out for a big sit down dinner. Trouble is most of the group had already been drinking quite heavily and werent really interested in eating.

Anyway i was sat right in the corner near the balcony and therefore impossible for me to get out. Now all my friends know i dont usually drink so when i told them i was going to get drunk, there was a rush at the bar to buy me drinks, and within half an hour i had consumed all sorts. One of my friends later told me after the 6th tequilla, i was downing cocktails, shorts, wine,beer and anything else that was put in front of me. I went from sober to almost unconcious(sp) in about 1 hour. After awhile i started to feel very warm, then the sick feeling started to come over me, and with nowhere to run my friend gave me a empty pitcher jug which i promptly threw up in. Everyone found this highly amusing especially when i started waving it around and singing drunk songs.

I stated to feel a bit better so decided to order food along with about 10 other people. The owner wasnt too happy about this as we were taking up alot of his seatng and we were just drinking, but we assured him the drinks would keep flowing and he wouldnt miss the food revenue. So i started eating, BIG mistake, i hadnt even finished my first burrito, when that sick feeling came over me again. This time no pitcher jug, so i had to decide if it was going over me and my friends or over the balcony. I decided on the latter. I rained down chunks all over the bar staff and all the customers stood at the bar With this the owner came running up the stairs and proceeded to kick us out. I was carried out completely out of it, and one of my friends went back in to get the bill.

We were charged £600 for 2 hours worth of drinking. After this i was carried across the road to one of the girls houses that was out with us. I was then put on a sofa, and while my friend mary was stood in front of me i puked all down her legs and on her lovely rug.

In the end they left me passed out in the bath and they all fcuked of out to a club without me lesson learned, dont mix your drinks, and make sure you sit near the toilet

[Rj 81]

This time no pitcher jug, so i had to decide if it was going over me and my friends or over the balcony. I decided on the latter. I rained down chunks all over the bar staff and all the customers stood at the bar With this the owner came running up the stairs and proceeded to kick us out.

I was then put on a sofa, and while my friend mary was stood in front of me i puked all down her legs and on her lovely rug.

Classic!

[Jockstar]

I was in Scotland after living in England for a while. Got on the piss with me old man. Got home went to bed. Apparently i tried to piss in the laundry basket in my parents room. Well it did have a lid!

Edited May 14, 2006 by Jockstar

[Sigur ros]

6 yrs ago, when clubs/bars could be opened until dawn. I started having drinks with a friend around 9pm and we ended up drinking around 5am. On the way to my house, I asked taxi driver to stop at gas station then I went to toilet in order to vomit. I felt sleep in the toilet and taxi driver came to wake me up coz I did not pay him a taxi fair.

[Nawtilus]

Rolled my car in a caravan park...considering caravan parks have a 5 kilo speed limit, ask yourselves how that was done.

Anyone remember the 'no hands' restaurant in Sukhumvit ? I remember the toilet rather well, slept there for couple hours once.

Nothing really outragiuos, I usually handle myself well drunk, either throw up for days or sleep.

Oh there was this aboriginal girl I threw up on once in the cot though, but I was young and inexperienced then.

[Guest endure]

I really should tell this after a couple if beers..it would be easier..but here is little story that shows the CLASS of !st class stewards on Gulf Air.

A long time ago when employed in UAE i was informed of a family bereavment that led to me consuming a lot of Vodka ( not my normal tipple ) whilst I mulled over whether toreturn to UK or not. Of course I did and went to the airport drunk but in a sad morbid way such that I was alowed on the plane ( 1st class because my employers would pay). My only memory of the flight was disembarking withthe chief steward smiling in that way they have and saying quietly to me " We don't normally expect that behaviour here Sir "

I had at some time in the flight climbed up on my seat , extracted John Thomas and pissed on the seat in front.

The utter shame of it.

[Rinrada]

Landed in Heathrow once after a flight from Kuwait and must have had one over the odds.

Couldnt find the way to passport control and exit and somehow of other managed to get on a(think) Air Canada flight going to Montreal and sat down....???

The steward was very good about it and suggested that maybe I had made a wrong turn somewhere and they then got me onto one of those little buggies meant for disabled travellers..with instructions to the driver to get me out of the place.

Must visit Canada one day.

[tutsiwarrior]

once in the early 70s I found myself in the company of people that I did not know while intoxicated. They appeared to be complacent middle class types and that pissed me off. I shouted that there was a war going on in SE Asia and what were they gonna do about it. I soon found myself alone and someone said that the others had fled as they thought that I was gonna do them physical damage. Probably had to do with my disheveled appearance (think about Che Guevara in a military field jacket crazed and on acid) compounded by drunkeness.

I always like to engage in gentle but meaningful conversation and my failure to do so on that occasion caused me some embarrasment.

[tuky]

I was living with a girl when we were both in our teens. One night I came home from the Raunchies well intoxicated and passed out on the bed in my birthday suit. Next thing I was awoken by my girlfriend screaming at me and throwing clothes on me. When I removed the clothes I was still doing the old firehose spray all over her and the bed and I am sure even the ceiling.

She was furious and as punishment ordered me to sleep on the lounge...

Whilst she tried to get a good nights sleep on the sopping bed.

Not quite a cringe moment for me, but perhaps for her

[sadman]

Sadly (and I really mean that) I can relate to pretty much all the stories, with minor deviations. From age 15 to about 40 I was just ridiculous. I didn't drink every day or anywhere near it, or go on the missing list, or beat my wife etc, but when I DID go on the piss, I went berserk. Never violent, just spectacularly stupid.

Every insult, bodily movement, stupid comment - I've done 'em all. I'm a little calmer now. How I've got this far without a criminal record or severe injury I'll never know. I think part of it is that my friends/colleagues all knew there would never be any drugs/violence/nastiness involved, but I still count myself lucky.

Edited May 16, 2006 by sadman

[Neeranam]

Blew up a block of flats by pissing on the fusebox.

Waking up in Ubon with a complete stranger at a engagement party -mine!

Waking up in a shanty town penniless in Had Yai, when trying to get to Glasgow.

[game4shame]

Blew up a block of flats by pissing on the fusebox.

bloody hel_l, severe!!!

Waking up in Ubon with a complete stranger at a engagement party -mine!

I've woke up with a woman old enough to be my mother before!!! that was a 'quick sharp harp' moment!!

[OneeyedJohn]

Excellent stuff neeranam.......

Just a thiought but how many girls have u shagged drunk and then the next day or whatever u can hardly remember them or the experience,,,wot a waste of w**nking material

[game4shame]

Just a thiought but how many girls have u shagged drunk and then the next day or whatever u can hardly remember them or the experience,,,wot a waste of w*nking material

forget world issues - oneeyedjohn has prioritised his concerns appropriately!!

classic!!

[samuiDarbs]

ive done a few

got the manaeging director of my old job in a head lock

told him what i thought of him

and then asked his wife if she was a prostitute .

in janury i was wasted in bangkok after a all night /day bender

thought it would be a good idea to get a massiff tattoo

on my leg, which took 4 hours straight

i stay away from tattoo shops when iam drunk now

[AlexLah]

I am reading this thread with great pleasure.

Ok let me tell you some story.

I was in Russia and we went for dinner.

In Russia they drink vodka.

We were with ten people and our host ordered 5 botlles of vodka.

I asked him what he was thinking and he said you are right and ordered 5 more botlles...

Ok so we toast on good times and glasses were filled and bottom up when toasting (100 cc glasses).

After two ore three glasses I was really drunk and ordered a Greek salad.

Now you have to know this was about ten years ago when in Russia you could go to a restaurant and it was either very high class (expensive) ore local (very cheap).

Him choose the high class.

Average price for a meal was about 100 USD. (per dish I mean).

Greek sald came and I took fork and knife but did not see that the plate was half on the table.

So I wanted to cut some veggies and then the plate flipped over and the Greek salad ended up on the white carpet.

Ok the waiter cleaned up the mess and I told him to get me a new one.

Within 5 minutes a new Greek salad was served and the same thing happened.

Yes lots of laughing but I felt so bad.

Alex

[Head Snake]

I wish I had the balls to even say a few of the many.

let's just say, I should be dead or at least ballless by now.

Quite honestly, we live how we live.

None of us are rarely remembered either for the saint or the devil we were.

[HowardJohnson]

Stealing flags, sh*gging some god awful women, throwing up on the dance floor, dancing naked on a bar, rescuing a friend from a glassing and beating by 4 very large drunken yobs, crashing a new car, falling off the side of a building whilst doing an impression of spider man, falling off a yacht into the Solent, trying to chat up an actress from Eastenders and convinced she actually fancied me, passing out on a train and ending up 200 miles from home, calling all my ex girlfriends at 3am to tell them how much i miss them.

I really should stop drinking........

[kat]

I went to sleep in a nightclub before midnight. I had 12 vodka oranges.

I forgot - this is by far my most cringy pissed moment:

I fell asleep in a club once still in collar and tie (i'd went out straight from work). classy.

as a result the bouncers booted me out the fire door straight into the taxi queue. the music from inside the club was playing through speakers outside the front of the club beside the taxi queue.

the music that was playing at the time I was forcefully removed was 'macarena'. a couple of chavvy pissed-up slappers were doing the dance in full view of the taxi queue.

guess who joined them.......

so many stories but this is my favourite bkk one.

having acted at father christmas at school and dressed up as him with beard and all me and a fellow teacher went down town after consuming large amounts of lager and whiksy i was put into a taxi my next moment waking sights were of lying on the road in my moo barn still dressed as santa with beard and all over looked by a disturbed security guard and a 2 passerbys..... santa had passed out.. i still had on my full santa outift while lying polaxed in the road minus wallet and house keys..they draggd me to my feet and put me on the back of the security guys mortorbike and took me me home... poor santa was drink sodden and late for the 25th the Thais didn't seem to mind.......

i had to wait 8 hours for my mate to get home before i had a drink!

These are great! I have nothing nearly as funny that I remember. I get into trouble when I mix, and then feel horribly ill, throw up, and swear I'll never do it again. I have a couple of stories, but they are not nearly as funny or lighthearted, just about a couple of horrible men that I do my best to get away from ASAP. Maybe that's why I don't drink myself into a stupor.

[Head Snake]

good ones HOward Johnson. Was that in 1 week?

[khall64au]

good ones HOward Johnson. Was that in 1 week?

If you ain't got a story to tell... don't bother posting!!

DID I SAY THAT?

[AlexLah]

Another story,

My friend and I where in Moscow.

My company selected the hotel and it was in the midlle of nowwhere.

After check in we looked at the place and it seemed there was some garden party there.

So after unpacking we just mingled in and to our surprise on every table there was drinks (Vodka) and snacks.

My friend started drinking and when he start he keep on drinking until he pass out and so he did.

So I bring him to his room and tell him to wake up at 08:00 next morning.

At 08:00 he was not there We make call to his room and no response.

Ok I decided to go to his room and check what happen.

After opening the door we go inside and see him covered in blood.

Girl start screaming and run away.

I investigate what happened and find out he fell in the bathroom with his ear on some edge.

He went to his bed and not bothered about anything.

Bedsheeets covered in blood and his ear was sticking to the bedsheets.

So I took some water to clean up his ear and get it detached from pillow.

In the end we went to a hospital to get his ear stiched.

Even after that he did not remember anything what happened to him.

Alex

[Patsycat]

Peeing between two parked cars on a slope and then being subjected to horrified looks of the people walking up the hill while I was escorted, wobbling and cackling with laughter down the hill with my pee running along merrily beside me. I'd had a few and so my bladder was extra full.

(and that's one of the milder ones, the others are on par with some of the above)

On New Years Eve 2005 I fell asleep in a restaurant at 11.50 and didn't wake up till 1 am.

Edited May 18, 2006 by Patsycat

[HowardJohnson]

good ones HOward Johnson. Was that in 1 week?

No, not one week. It was over a 10 day holiday..... Not really, just my vague memories of many a good evening spent out on the P*ss.

[Old Croc]

Stealing flags, sh*gging some god awful women, throwing up on the dance floor, dancing naked on a bar, rescuing a friend from a glassing and beating by 4 very large drunken yobs, crashing a new car, falling off the side of a building whilst doing an impression of spider man, falling off a yacht into the Solent, trying to chat up an actress from Eastenders and convinced she actually fancied me, passing out on a train and ending up 200 miles from home, calling all my ex girlfriends at 3am to tell them how much i miss them.

I really should stop drinking........

Is your name Dawn Fraser?

[HowardJohnson]

Stealing flags, sh*gging some god awful women, throwing up on the dance floor, dancing naked on a bar, rescuing a friend from a glassing and beating by 4 very large drunken yobs, crashing a new car, falling off the side of a building whilst doing an impression of spider man, falling off a yacht into the Solent, trying to chat up an actress from Eastenders and convinced she actually fancied me, passing out on a train and ending up 200 miles from home, calling all my ex girlfriends at 3am to tell them how much i miss them.

I really should stop drinking........

Is your name Dawn Fraser?

I had to Google to find out who she was:

She moved out of the Olympic Village into the Imperial Hotel. She had been invited the previous evening to carry the flag for Australia at the closing ceremony. At 2.30 am after much celebration, she went on a flag-souveniring expedition in company with a couple of friends. As they were trying to steal a Japanese flag, Japanese police arrested them at gunpoint. In an attempt to escape, Dawn jumped across a wall and injured her ankle. She was taken to the police station, where once the police realised Dawn's identity, they put away their charge books and produced autograph books.

Sounds like my kind of woman!!!!!!

[suegha]

Peeing between two parked cars on a slope and then being subjected to horrified looks of the people walking up the hill while I was escorted, wobbling and cackling with laughter down the hill with my pee running along merrily beside me. I'd had a few and so my bladder was extra full.

(and that's one of the milder ones, the others are on par with some of the above)

On New Years Eve 2005 I fell asleep in a restaurant at 11.50 and didn't wake up till 1 am.

I agree Patsycat, one of the milder ones

[AlexLah]

Another story I have.

On holiday in the Dominican republic I ended up with some (how surprisingly) some UK guys.

We where all very drunk as the booze was for free and one guy said he found a jetski and would it not be nice to ride it in the pool.

So we break the lock and carry the jetski in the pool and start it.

Great fun and then it was my turn. I made a few rounds and then the police came.

The police ordered me to come to the side but I kept going at high speed.

I really did not realise it where real police.

My new friends where taken away by police and then i realised I was sort of alone except for 10 policemen waiting.

I surrendered and was taken to police station where we stayed all night and payed a fine.

But is was fun!!

Alex