Newbie saying hello

[AussieSteve]

Good morning everyone on TV. My first post just to say hello, I have been reading every new post that has come up for the last 6 months and now its my turn.

Just arrived in BKK stayed in hotel for a week looked around and now have rented a house in a village just north of BKK with my Thai GF and her daughter. Scared as hell but excited to be here. The village is an absolute maze and have to rely on the motorbike boys to get in and out.

I need to get a cheap car and reliable internet so I will be looking at those forums next. If anyone has any particular advice for me it would be welcome (am I asking for trouble?). I'm going to have to get married soon as the GF won't sleep in the same bed as me while her daughter is in the house. "not right, not married"

Thanks guys I hope to post something more interesting next time. But this will do for a lazy Sunday morning.

[greg71]

Ur in for a world of pain lol .Its ok to rent a house for her but cant be in the same bed .Why do you need to get married ?.Seems someone is seeing you a the cash cow .Welcome to Thailand .

[Gsxrnz]

Good luck Steve. You've raised about five contentious points in your first post, so be prepared for lots of "advice" from our erstwhile TV members.

Edited December 15, 2013 by Gsxrnz

[tim armstrong]

G'day Steve,

Welcome to tv, and welcome to Thailand. TV is a great resource and a good way to know whats happening, but beware of the cynics. My only advice at this point - cha cha - Thai for slowly. So don't be rushed into anything, especially anything that involves spending money.

[AussieSteve]

Thanks Greg 71 I was expecting something like that, but I put it out there anyway.

[CharlieH]

Oh dear, oh my, as you have done already Steve, read read read, take half with a pinch of salt but the stuff that repeats, repeats for a reason !

You have already some warning flags raising around you, dont let your balls rule your brain, good luck and enjoy !

No reason to part with big money for anything, never spend more than you would have no trouble walking away from.

[tim armstrong]

One other thing Steve, -- the art of seduction was invented in Thailand - but maybe that's cynical ?

[devolad]

Aussie Steve,

If you have been reading TV for a while, you're to be admired for this post - you must have big stones - a good chance you are going to get a few "run for the hills" type responses, but hopefully some positive ones as well.

I, to an extent, understand your Girl Friend - it was just me and my teenage daughter for a number of years - was pretty careful about bringing any possibles/probables home - rightly or wrongly I wanted her to grow up at her own pace.

Getting Married might be a pretty extreme solution to current sleeping arrangements though.

I hope everything works out great for you. Imagine it must be a bit of culture shock at the moment. Good luck mate.

[seajae]

mate, welcome to the land of smiles, I am sure you will enjoy being here. You can get some great advice in here, just pick and chose the right ones to listen too. Two choices for marriage, the legal one and the local/buddhist one, the second is not officially recognized(at all in Australia) as it is only a ceremony, no legal paperwork. Thais drive badly so the used cars are suspect to say the least, you will want to make sure it is mechanically ok, a new bike starts at around 30,000 baht, used cars are still several hundred thousand. We use 3bb broadband, unlimited is around 600 baht a month and they are reasonably reliable but they are all much the same really.

Have a great stay, just be yourself and smile at everyone, you will be fine.

[wamberal]

Also remember, you are in a different country. Forget about Australian ways of doing things. Do not make comparisons, there is no point.

The most difficult thing for a newbie is to learn who to trust. The best advice I could give you is - don't trust anybody. Do not even trust your girlfriend, unless and until she really proves that she is worth your trust. Even then, be vigilant for about five years!

Don't fall in love with the place, and don't get disillusioned too quickly. The truth is usually in between the extremes.

Take baby steps, especially where making financial and emotional committments are concerned.

Look after your heatlh, do not drink too much, get some exercise, try to live a structured life. And remember that all Thais smile most of the time - but a Thai smile does not always mean what you think it means. However, if a Thai does not smile, look out.

[WitawatWatawit]

If you're here to settle down, then think of it in terms that you would apply back home. Don't think of this place as a playground and you're here to roll around the sandbox while your family stays in the background. Make the right decisions and commitments as you would back home - steady income, established home, disciplined lifestyle. If you want to hit the bars, then treat it as an occasional adventure, not as a regular pub situation as you would in Kogarah or Collingwood. That was one mistake I made and it rebounded on me and my family. Developing a trusted circle of friends might take time, so swallow any frustration and be patient as you establish yourself. Don't allow yourself to be dominated by the Thai side of your family - let it be known from the start that any Thai relatives are subject to your rules when in your house. And if you meet any of the posters on this thread, you are obligated to buying them a beer or three.

[mickjn]

Welcome Sir.Just go in and tell just GF you want to have sexual intercourse if she say no just tell her to shove the house up her dot com and go to Pattaya and have a bit of fun.After that up to you.Your GF will ring you after an hour asking you to go back but do not go for a week.You have the baht you have control

[chuang]

....just don't get upset or emotional if you read the comments on TV...there are nutters everywhere...

[Neeranam]

Welcome mate! Are you here for good?

Never marry a Thai woman unless you've lived here for at least 3 years.

There's just too much risk if you know nothing of the different cultures etc.

Don't let her dictate to you what to do. She's found a farang, she's the one that will change to keep him. You, on the other hand, could dump her anytime and easily find another girlfriend without the baggage of a daughter.

It's amazing the amount of undesirable(by Thai men) women who have farang wrapped around their little finger, especially poor, dark country girls.

Keep your integrity. If she says things like this is the way it is done in Thailand and you don't like it, don't do it. For example, my wife(of 12 years) used to tell me not to tell others to turn down their music. Fk that, I'm not losing sleep because of some inconsiderate buffalo.

Never had any problem in sticking to my rights. Sure, they're shocked and don't like it but when asked politely(at first), they turn it down.

[villagefarang]

If you are like most, you are going to do what you are going to do regardless of what anyone says here, so all I will say is enjoy the ride.

[AussieSteve]

Thanks to every one for their welcomes.

To be truthful I was expecting a few more cynics than what I got, so thanks again. With the bed situation it's ok in the hotel, but not with the daughter at home, yet.......... we'll get there once the gf thinks the daughter has accepted me.

Thanks guys, I'll see if I can pull a few more cynical comments on my next post, probably about buying the Aunt's second hand Honda Civic for way more than it's worth. She wants 800,000 baht it's one year old. Don't all Farangs have money to throw around to the family?

Cheers

[Spaniel]

Thanks to every one for their welcomes.

To be truthful I was expecting a few more cynics than what I got, so thanks again. With the bed situation it's ok in the hotel, but not with the daughter at home, yet.......... we'll get there once the gf thinks the daughter has accepted me.

Thanks guys, I'll see if I can pull a few more cynical comments on my next post, probably about buying the Aunt's second hand Honda Civic for way more than it's worth. She wants 800,000 baht it's one year old. Don't all Farangs have money to throw around to the family?

Cheers

The Honda price seems a bit high but depending on what model it is, maybe not. The top of the line Civic, 2.0 EL AT NAVI, sells for B 1,130,000. So if it's this model then B800,000 might be a fair price. My guess is it isn't this model.

[chrisinth]

Thanks to every one for their welcomes.

To be truthful I was expecting a few more cynics than what I got, so thanks again. With the bed situation it's ok in the hotel, but not with the daughter at home, yet.......... we'll get there once the gf thinks the daughter has accepted me.

Thanks guys, I'll see if I can pull a few more cynical comments on my next post, probably about buying the Aunt's second hand Honda Civic for way more than it's worth. She wants 800,000 baht it's one year old. Don't all Farangs have money to throw around to the family?

Cheers

Steve, if you are willing to pay that money for secondhand, you are much better off buying brand new. In your own name naturally.........

[Tchooptip]

Welcome Steve

first of all you can see you have a few answers like this one: "just don't get upset or emotional if you read the comments on TV...there are nutters everywhere..."

That shows you there are not only nutters on TV

There are also very very good people if a member asks seriously and honestly a question important for him most of the time he will have several good, clever and generous answers, but also a few one ... by the nutters, so once we have learn to separate the wheat from the chaff TV is a great place. Plus for visas and laws in thailand its a gold mine (by the way Ubonjoe (the mod) is my hero LOL)

May I ask you how old is your girl friend's daughter ? Maybe soon your DIL (but would be wiser to wait a little before get married)

I wish you all the best for your new life, because it is kind of a new life ... on another planet...The Chinese just landed on the moon you just landed on LOS same same

[mrtoad]

Some pretty significant warning signs in that. Good luck. Don't rent Anything above the ground floor.

[mickjn]

Thanks to every one for their welcomes.

To be truthful I was expecting a few more cynics than what I got, so thanks again. With the bed situation it's ok in the hotel, but not with the daughter at home, yet.......... we'll get there once the gf thinks the daughter has accepted me.

Cheers

Send the daughter back to the village ASAP

[khunpa]

Hi Steve and welcome to Thailand.

Since your GF has a daughter from a previous relationship and you are all moving in together, it seems very strange that you can not sleep in the same bed... If it was me, I would say we should marry later and see what happens. Seems like she is desperate to get married to you and using the not sleeping together as an excuse.

I have known my GF for 4 years now and we live together with her son. No problem there....

My advice: Wait, get to know each other well, before you get married.

[GinBoy2]

Hmmm, cheap car huh. No such thing here in Thailand. Used cars hold their price very very well, to the point it's not worth buying a used car go for new. The differential isn't that much and used car maintenance can, how can I put this politely, have been variable! One other point to remember, if it ain't manufactured in Thailand the import taxes makes them crazy expensive.

Internet, well thats gonna be a crap shoot depending on where you live, but just never ever expect it to be as reliable or fast as where you come from, that's just setting yourself up for disappointment. Options (I think you used the word village, so that rules out cable), will be TOT or 3BB. Toss up, nothing really to chose between the two. Remember, landline phones aren't always a given, so be careful. No phone, no DSL!

As for the GF advice stuff, I leave that to other esteemed members of TV to advise you

Edited December 15, 2013 by GinBoy2

[Thongkorn]

Welcome to the Pit of viper's .

[GinBoy2]

Welcome to the Pit of viper's .

I'm just sharpening my fangs as we speak!

[JoeThePoster]

Thanks guys I hope to post something more interesting next time.

Topping that 1st post is gonna be a tough call. But looking forward to more interesting stuff.

[GinBoy2]

Thanks guys I hope to post something more interesting next time.

Topping that 1st post is gonna be a tough call. But looking forward to more interesting stuff.

It's like I can't wait for today's episode of Lak Sut Lit on Channel 3....but I could be persuaded to switch to this channel with a few more posts!

[mrtoad]

Thanks guys I hope to post something more interesting next time.

Topping that 1st post is gonna be a tough call. But looking forward to more interesting stuff.

From several things he's mentioned, I have a feeling it's not going to have a happy ending.

[NeverSure]

Thanks guys I hope to post something more interesting next time.

Topping that 1st post is gonna be a tough call. But looking forward to more interesting stuff.

From several things he's mentioned, I have a feeling it's not going to have a happy ending.

Yes, the lack of a happy ending does seem to be an issue...

[NeverSure]

Steve, before you go any farther, please spend a whole day reading in this forum:

Marriage and Divorce in Thailand.