Feels so weird

[bizzle]

Hi everyone

I moved from Thailand about a year ago after living there for four years. The reason I left was simply because I felt very lonely and to be honest could not get things off the ground. I just couldnt seem to think straight there. I really really think its something in the water

Im now in Oz, which is great but it is so stressful. Yes I can afford and save alot of things and money but I just sometimes feel that I just did Thailand the wrong way.

The only reason I wouldnt go back is because I have made more friends in one year here than I did in 4 in Thailand and the ones I did make in Thailand I probably wouldnt be close with if I met them here.

Im not bashing anyone. I just sometimes miss alot about Thailand and its confusing.

[bizzle]

Yep just read that back and it seems a totally pointless post. Excuse me I have had quite alot of gin

[bizzle]

But can anyone relate? (not to the gin that is)

[paz]

I think a lot of people that has spent in time in Thailand, can relate to your experience, that is actually quite common.

But in this forum for one person that is willing to discuss "normally", 10 others are there just to be judgeful, sarcastic, arrogant, etc. In your case they may not have seen your posting yet or found not worth of provocation.

Don't think and don;t drink too much, enjoy the present, and happy Holidays!

[geriatrickid]

gin is good.

If you were located in Nahkon si Thammarat, I could understand the loneliness. I swear, I am the only whitie around. The Thai smiles are genuine though. I haven't seen one massage parlour, one nasty drunk, any motorcycle drivers with a helmet and no unruly kids. Lots of speeding vehicles and reckless drivers though.

[bizzle]

Thanks guys great points

Tbh I think it might be my age. Im 28 so unlike many people there Im far from retiring. I guess I just felt very limited and controlled there and until I guess that doesnt mean as much to me then Thailand would be a bad idea again

[kikoman]

Live where you feel more comfortable, life is to short to spend in a place or country you do not like.

Cheers:

[StreetCowboy]

It seems weird that a bloke would move to a foreign country and not fit in.

[LaraC]

It seems weird that a bloke would move to a foreign country and not fit in.

Why would that seem weird?

Can you elaborate?

[Bikkii]

It seems weird that a bloke would move to a foreign country and not fit in.

Why would that seem weird?

Can you elaborate?

I may be wrong,,sarcasm dear, sarcasm.

[LaraC]

It seems weird that a bloke would move to a foreign country and not fit in.

Why would that seem weird?

Can you elaborate?

I may be wrong,,sarcasm dear, sarcasm.

Ahh, ok. ..dear. Cheers for that. In reading the OP's geniune heartfelt post, my empathy for him obviously had me forgetting i was on Thaivisa. Do'h.

[daoyai]

The key is shared interests, if you are involved in some persute that is happening here, you will find like minded people, example, if you are a diver on an island, a musician in the city, a weaver in the hills.... you get the idea. You just need to be passionate about something and you will link up.

[noikrit]

I read once that Gin can be a depressent .... maybe that's the change you need .... CHOKDEE !! ...........

[pitrevie]

I read once that Gin can be a depressent .... maybe that's the change you need .... CHOKDEE !! ...........

Mother would not agree.

[Bpuumike]

Yep just read that back and it seems a totally pointless post. Excuse me I have had quite alot of gin

Hmm, my thoughts exactly.

Aided by red wine, not allowed gin by The Boss.

[Bpuumike]

gin is good.

If you were located in Nahkon si Thammarat, I could understand the loneliness. I swear, I am the only whitie around. The Thai smiles are genuine though. I haven't seen one massage parlour, one nasty drunk, any motorcycle drivers with a helmet and no unruly kids. Lots of speeding vehicles and reckless drivers though.

Move a bit further North and you won't see any speeding vehicles. They are just too p*ssed and have to go very slowly to keep it on the road.

[canman]

G&T tip, add a splash of red bull, you will be suprised how good that combo is. I call it G&T with wings.

[rotorbreeze]

Suggestion: Go up to Issan for a changes.. Thailand is not Pattaya... I spent some 4 six month tours in MahaSarakham..nice are if you are looking for change... I am back in Pattaya..enjoy the area as it provides me with lots of European and North American comforts...as for the women...they are working girls..do not get too involved... just pay as you go... enjoy it ... keep fit by sports club... if you can cook your own meals this is satisfaction in providing self gratification in learning How to live a healthy, mental life... You can always get in touch with me and will can talk..keep well.. Ron

[Scarpolo]

Thailand is for Thai's, period. But, the hospitality industry and entertainment, is the exception.

they do like Americans, I can attest to that, for a certainty, and as a musician, I have no trouble at all, becoming "friendly" with other musicians.

Last night, I walked into a rstaurant that I have been frequenting for about two months with my guitar on my back,

approached the musician who works there, and he plugged me right in, and we played for close to an hour.

It may be the bgeinniing of something, and it may just have been a great time for both of us as well as the employees,

but that said, without a Thai girlfriend, I would have gotten nowhere in this town and would have stayed in Chaing Mai, which is open for Westerners and indeed, dominated by them.

I just wouldnt try owning a business here, as I havent heard of one westerener other than bar owners, who can succeed here.

I would llike to be wrong about the last part and welcome those with positive experiences to share

[lucifer666]

Thailand is for Thai's, period. But, the hospitality industry and entertainment, is the exception.

they do like Americans, I can attest to that, for a certainty, and as a musician, I have no trouble at all, becoming "friendly" with other musicians.

Last night, I walked into a rstaurant that I have been frequenting for about two months with my guitar on my back,

approached the musician who works there, and he plugged me right in, and we played for close to an hour.

It may be the bgeinniing of something, and it may just have been a great time for both of us as well as the employees,

but that said, without a Thai girlfriend, I would have gotten nowhere in this town and would have stayed in Chaing Mai, which is open for Westerners and indeed, dominated by them.

I just wouldnt try owning a business here, as I havent heard of one westerener other than bar owners, who can succeed here.

I would llike to be wrong about the last part and welcome those with positive experiences to share

I did exactly the same thing lol. I have learned a few songs in Thai now (Haven't a clue what half of the lyrics mean though) and the locals love it. They go fetch their friends and neighbours ( and usually a few bottles of whisky) to hear the English farang sing and play in Thai. Som Sarn ( Sek Loso) is a great favourite with the ladies

[GuestHouse]

OP, you tell us you are making good money and saving - this is a positive and gives you choices. One of which might be to choose the best of both worlds, perhaps working in Oz with long well funded holidays in Thailand.

You have a good income, you have choices make the best of them.

Imagine if you were stuck in the back of Nakhon Nowhere living the life of a pauper on a budget that restricts your choices - you might tell everyone you are happy with your choice - but you'd have to be its the only choice you have.

Money in your pocket, a good social life and choices - What's to be confused about.

Life's too short - enjoy the choices you have to their fullest.

[krisb]

The area you live in Thailand makes a difference at only 28. No way I'd live in a village at 28 for example.

As long as your happy back in oz, you will be ok

Maybe save up and try holidaying elsewhere for a change.

The worlds your oyster!

[Loles]

I think that's full normally not every thing can be liked by every-one. Nothing weird.

You are free and you can choose where you want to live and why there.

If you think you aren't in your place you have to be move.

You did it. Hope this was worth it.

That's all.

BUT what are you looking for here as 'newbee" may be your heart says other than your mouth ?

[LaraC]

Thailand is for Thai's, period. But, the hospitality industry and entertainment, is the exception.

they do like Americans, I can attest to that, for a certainty, and as a musician, I have no trouble at all, becoming "friendly" with other musicians.

Last night, I walked into a rstaurant that I have been frequenting for about two months with my guitar on my back,

approached the musician who works there, and he plugged me right in, and we played for close to an hour.

It may be the bgeinniing of something, and it may just have been a great time for both of us as well as the employees,

but that said, without a Thai girlfriend, I would have gotten nowhere in this town and would have stayed in Chaing Mai, which is open for Westerners and indeed, dominated by them.

I just wouldnt try owning a business here, as I havent heard of one westerener other than bar owners, who can succeed here.

I would llike to be wrong about the last part and welcome those with positive experiences to share

Hmm..maybe thats a general experience, and i can see the truth in it, but i personally differ in it.

Thai will like most nationalities, as long as they are not loud, brash, obnoxious etc.

I am a Thai speaking farang female, and i do fine. If you learn Thai well enough, are polite, then you dont need to fall back on a native partner to help you get about. Imo you should choose a partner based on how well you get on, and no how they can help you out as such (which im not suggesting you did Scarpolo! But many do). I believe in the importance of being self-sufficient in the country you choose to live in. Anything else, such as partnership with someone, is a bonus (and you then dont overly lean on them too much)

I also personally wouldnt get involved with owning a business here, but i do know of many successful ones owned by farangs. One has a magazine, a few have clothing companies, one has a pottery business..hmm...im sure a few others but cant think off the top of my head. I really think the bar/restuarant businesses are what many farangs do when either they want something as a hobby, or their skills cannot be used in THailand (ie they were plumbers/electricians etc back in their home country and they cannot get work in this here) or they just hope to make extra income etc..but without any real knowledge of experience of the business. So..really, its not much surprise that many of these fail.

Anyway OP, as opposed to some of the suggestions here, i dont suggest using drink. ..especially at 28. When you are young in Thailand its important to find the right place with the kind of people you click with. I think its good that you are making some money now, for whilst you are unsure, its a pretty good cushion whilst you take time to think.

Good luck!

[hellodolly]

Thanks guys great points

Tbh I think it might be my age. Im 28 so unlike many people there Im far from retiring. I guess I just felt very limited and controlled there and until I guess that doesnt mean as much to me then Thailand would be a bad idea again

Sounds about right to me. At your age the number of people in your age range would be very limited. Back packers and missionaries. You are definatly at an age when I would not be looking to settle down in a foreign country, I would have been into traveling to lots of them.

You were saying that you were into a lot of gin at the time of the posting. Some times Gin allows us to say what is true but we normally would not say it. If you are in a group of drinkers it is highly unlikely that many of them are permanent residents in your age range.

Mind you there are probably a lot of them here in Thailand but spread all over it.

[hellodolly]

It seems weird that a bloke would move to a foreign country and not fit in.

Why would that seem weird?

Can you elaborate?

I may be wrong,,sarcasm dear, sarcasm.

Ahh, ok. ..dear. Cheers for that. In reading the OP's geniune heartfelt post, my empathy for him obviously had me forgetting i was on Thaivisa. Do'h.

I see nothing wrong with the post. I am of course presuming the OP has been here for a short period of time. I wonder how many different localities he has tried. What are the venues he has been hanging out in. Lot's of unanswered questions.

Lets face it there are a lot more weirdo English speaking people in Australia than here in Thailand. There by making it easy to find many mates. The OP was not being fair to Thailand comparing the two. Maybe he is a concert violinist seeking people like himself. As he said the post was kind of meaningless giving no details about what he deems good friends.

Yes we on Thai Visa do occasionally ask for facts behind a post and if none coming wellllllll

[h90]

gin is good.

If you were located in Nahkon si Thammarat, I could understand the loneliness. I swear, I am the only whitie around. The Thai smiles are genuine though. I haven't seen one massage parlour, one nasty drunk, any motorcycle drivers with a helmet and no unruly kids. Lots of speeding vehicles and reckless drivers though.

Everytime I go to the Robinson I see at minimum 3 whities. They don't look like people I would speak with, but there are a lot in NST now. Mostly English Teacher and people on the oil and gas platforms.

[thaibeachlovers]

I love living in Thailand even though there are no farangs where I live and I have no Thai friends other tham my SO.

I guess if one needs to have friends, Thailand in a non tourist area isn't the best place to live.

Back home there were lots of clubs to join to meet people, here ( where I live )there are zero.

[kerrysum]

Guess that is the way it is.....

Thailand is what you make it, some said living up North in Issan is better, so I agree,..... Not sure if you made enough effort, where ever you live, live like the locals... Just my opinion......

kilosierra

Never let expectations get in the way of your dreams......

[maxman71]

I'm having a somewhat similar experience. I lived and worked in Thailand from 2005 until recently. I have my own Thai company that provides consulting services to US companies with operations in Asia Pac, the EU and other locations. I travelled heavily for the business and didn't actually get to spend a lot of time in Thailand, but I always considered Thailand my home. My business has done very well and I have been able to save a good sum of money for my retirement which I envision being able to realize within the next few years. I turn 55 next month.

Then this past year one of my clients offered me a regular full-time position in the US based in Arizona. It is a very good, interesting job with a very good salary and benefits; if I can stay with this job for a few years, I am pretty certain I can retire in the manner I would like. As it is already, I could probably retire now but I prefer to have more of a financial buffer.

A big reason I took the job in the US is because I have two grown kids (ages 29 and 26) who live in So. CA. I had been living in Asia (Taiwan before Thailand) since 2002, and although both my kids came to see me overseas and I also visited them in the US at least once or twice a year, I found I was missing them a lot they also were missing me. Being back in the US relatively close to them has been great.

My situation is that I just have a real hard time relating to US culture these days. I am a very independent, hard-working and responsible person who places a high value on my privacy and self-sufficiency. These are values that have been getting thrown out the door in current US culture; it seems to me most people in the US have embraced Big Mommy Government in a big way and the sense of personal responsibility and accountability is considered passé and more and more people there look to blame someone else for their life's woes and expect others to pay their way; and I am thoroughly disgusted with such attitudes. The US has become a socialist country and it is still further embracing that sort of philosophy and I just can't stand it. Living successfully in Thailand or most foreign countries for that matter, requires a high degree of self-sufficiency, and being a private-minded person means I generally know when to mind my own business and keep my mouth shut, which also lends itself well to getting along with people in a foreign country.

My big plan is to have enough set aside for retirement to spend about 1/2 my time in Thailand and the other 1/2 with my kids in the US, although I am not sure I can even stand spending that much time in the US.

When I look back at my time in Thailand for "lessons learned", the things I would concentrate more time on when I return to Thailand are these things: 1) Get fluent in the Thai language, both spoken and written; people who are able to communicate effectively in the local language are generally better accepted and respected; 2) join some local civic organization(s) and maybe a church where I can meet people that share my values and experiences; 3) do some volunteer work in an orphanage or some other worthy cause; one way to avoid being lonely and isolated is to give one's time and one's self to others less fortunate in a meaningful way; 4) In general establish a daily routine that is rooted in dealing with the locals. During most of my time in Thailand, I was mostly there on breaks between business projects and I just wanted to get some R&R time.

But I was in Thailand enough to know that there are some very intelligent, successful and good people there that I would like to connect with at a deeper level. I tend to think many Thais are wary about foreigners who come and go a lot, despite them having an established business, etc.

In a prior job based in Taiwan for a US high-tech company, I was the Director of HR for 7 countries in Asia Pac, and I dealt heavily with employee expat issues. One thing I learned was that people who live overseas for a sustained period of time have difficulty re-assimilating back to their home country, especially if their home country has gone through a culture change. I guess that nails my situation on the head.