How much information do you divulge to your gf / wife re your financial situation back home

[Loptr]

IMO NEVER divulge your financial info to a Thai woman.

IMO NEVER divulge your financial info to a Thai woman.

So you both die because the hospital can't get payment for that expensive heart surgery that would have saved your life. RIP he had a million but no one knew where to find it.

Most folks that are financially stable have something called "insurance". You might look into it as it could save your life in the scenario you posed.

[mesquite]

OP, if you have a good relationship now, do you really want to get married?

Once you are married, she will change. Guaranteed.

Don't tell her about your finances for now, or maybe ever. You can always do it later, but you cannot unring a bell.

Edited December 26, 2013 by mesquite

[alyx]

Everything bas always been out on the table.

Mind you, we started from scratch, and even scratch would be have been a lot then, almost two decades ago when we started our relationship

[thailiketoo]

IMO NEVER divulge your financial info to a Thai woman.

IMO NEVER divulge your financial info to a Thai woman.

So you both die because the hospital can't get payment for that expensive heart surgery that would have saved your life. RIP he had a million but no one knew where to find it.

Most folks that are financially stable have something called "insurance". You might look into it as it could save your life in the scenario you posed.

Most folks that I know have things that insurance will cover and things that insurance will not cover. Most folks that I know are over 70 and have insurance in the West but not so much in Thailand. Some folks have insurance like mine that requires me to pay first and then they will reimburse me later. Some folks know what they are writing about before they write and some don't

[khunpa]

blah blah blah,, heard it all before, i trust my wife 100% (bullshit) she buys me presents (bullshit) she pays for half of.... (bullshit)

did you hear this one.....

"on our wedding night she says to me - Darling now that we are married half of your assets belong to me"

Where do they get that from.

Or try this if you really have the nerve,,,,

Let your finances run down to nothing (hide some cash somewhere for your getaway) then tell her

Darling I HAVE NO MONEY and see how long you last..

I dare you, i dare all of you,, try it out just once.

And just like Nero i will play my fiddle and watch you burn.

Well, believe it or not, but I actually went personal bankrupt, when living with my Thai-girlfriend and she supported me all the way (also financially).

We are still together, are now having a child together and are also on our way back financially. Based on my downfall financially and her endless support, I trust and love her more than anyone in this world. Not all Thai-women are after money... You just have to find the right one!

But you are right! You only see the truth in people, when you need their help and support the most. And my girlfriend for sure passed that test. Many of my "friends" and even some family members did not!

Edited December 26, 2013 by khunpa

[mesquite]

I was in the same position as you 7 years ago. I am now in a really happy trusting relationship.

Neverthe less I made a pre nuptial agreement that clearly separated her wealth and possessions[zero] and mine[significant and NOT in Thailand]. We were married 2 years later and I then made a will in Thailand.

I have been lucky to find real love. I am 71 and she is 50. This is more OK in Asia than elsewhere.

Go for it. Fall in love. Enjoy your life. But don't forget the hard learned lessons.

Who's the beneficiary of the will? If it's your wife, you are worth more to her dead than alive.

[lostinsurin]

Are you a troll, I think so by the amount of replies you are getting

I am a millionaire who married a bar girl, should I tell her?

I seem to have the same problem as you.

[denby45]

Didn't you read the post properly. He is 7. I am sure she can wait a while.

I was in the same position as you 7 years ago. I am now in a really happy trusting relationship.

Neverthe less I made a pre nuptial agreement that clearly separated her wealth and possessions[zero] and mine[significant and NOT in Thailand]. We were married 2 years later and I then made a will in Thailand.

I have been lucky to find real love. I am 71 and she is 50. This is more OK in Asia than elsewhere.

Go for it. Fall in love. Enjoy your life. But don't forget the hard learned lessons.

Who's the beneficiary of the will? If it's your wife, you are worth more to her dead than alive.

[mogandave]

Are you a troll, I think so by the amount of replies you are getting

I am a millionaire who married a bar girl, should I tell her?

I seem to have the same problem as you.

She doesn't know you married her?

[nonthaburial]

I don't divulge any information. If anything I play down any assets. That does not mean I have to lie, I am just selective or not forthcoming with information.

I'm at the age and mindset where I have been divorced once. I have worked hard to have what I have now, and if I lost that, well, I doubt I could make it back.

Thai or Western relationship, I wouldn't divulge the state of my assets at this stage of my life.

Interesting, but do you need to be a rocket scientist ? I could honestly admit I. Am worth xxxx m which would be true or I could say xm which is not true , I know what I would volunteer edited to add why tell the truth when your finances will be used as a decider in her eyes. Edited December 26, 2013 by nonthaburial

[mesquite]

From the OP: "Or this was a classic story:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/396496-four-ways-to-lose-your-property-in-thailand/

<<this link does not work now unfortunately. Maybe the tv.com database has been cleaned up prior to the commencement of the new property forum! >>"

I believe this is the post in question. It ended up in ajarnforum

http://www.ajarnforum.net/vb/the-virtual-pub/72168-an-opinion-seen-on-thaivisa-regarding-ways-to-lose-property-in-land-of-smiles.html

[mesquite]

Didn't you read the post properly. He is 7. I am sure she can wait a while.

I was in the same position as you 7 years ago. I am now in a really happy trusting relationship.

Neverthe less I made a pre nuptial agreement that clearly separated her wealth and possessions[zero] and mine[significant and NOT in Thailand]. We were married 2 years later and I then made a will in Thailand.

I have been lucky to find real love. I am 71 and she is 50. This is more OK in Asia than elsewhere.

Go for it. Fall in love. Enjoy your life. But don't forget the hard learned lessons.

Who's the beneficiary of the will? If it's your wife, you are worth more to her dead than alive.

I did. He's 71, not 7.

Edited December 26, 2013 by mesquite

[aTomsLife]

If you are going to marry her, and you want trust in your marriage ( you will need trust if you want your marriage to succeed) then yes, you tell her about your financial situation back home, there should be no secrets between you, on the other hand, anything that happened in your life before you met her, is none of her business, and vice versa.

"anything that happened in your life before you met her, is none of her business"

So by your own reasoning my money is none of her business, since I got it before I met her. Great!

[menorah]

How much information would you reveal to a potential partner in your own country? This is a tangible starting point from which you can apply mitigating factors relating to circumstances here in Thailand, namely cultural anomalies and the absence of state social security and benefits.

I've experienced relationships with 'ordinary' Thai women and 'educated' Thai women and found this makes very little difference to their expectations or behaviour.

If you're confident you could financially sustain a long-term relationship, possibly including raising kids, and assure your partner she has an equal or better chance of a stable 'marriage' with you, then perhaps she might be satisfied and ask nothing more.

I see no reason why any foreigner should continually need to 'bank roll' a relationship simply because they're living in Thailand.

[somchaismith]

She's on a 'need to know basis'.

[harryfrompattaya]

If you can't trust your future wife, then you should be contemplating marriage

I heard this from many that were taken to the cleaners

Do not tell anyway even your Farang friends they will tell their love ones who will tell your love one Tell no one.

Keep money in home country

[menorah]

IMO NEVER divulge your financial info to a Thai woman.

If she really loves you for yourself, she will not ask, though she will probably want to know if you have enough to provide for her.

How can she be expected to 'not ask' and 'want to know if you have enough to provide for her' ? Hows she supposed to find out ? through tea leaves ?

However what's wrong with that ? Theres not a woman from ANY country that would not want to know her future was assured so why would it be any different for a Thai girl ? Its getting tedious how many men think Thai females are there simply to be used and abused and dare to have a modicum of self respect! This is going to shock a lot of people but they are human too!

I don't understand why the Op (if he is thinking of a future with this woman which he appears to be) would not divulge his financial details - unless he is not confident in his own ability not to be a mug.

BENROOM offers a very simplistic analysis of a complex issue which fails to accommodate the 'Facts of Life' pertaining to ordinary men & women in Thailand.

Your lofty admonishment of 'tedious' chauvinist thinking, is slightly misplaced in a culture which readily sees a woman's virtue as a commodity for exploitation... if you find that distasteful or believe it false, then you're denying a fact which many Thais freely admit.

As for a 'future assured', did you ever consider the millions of relationships embarked upon without the least assurance of security.. but with love and a will to making things work out.

Yes, the women are human too and as such, subject to all the inherent human frailties including avarice.

I believe the OP is more than confident in his ability not to be a mug....but sufficiently wise to get a second opinion.

[indyuk]

Whatever you tell your Thai fiance or wife she will share with her mother, who in turn will share it with the rest of her family and her close friends. Don't make yourself a victim. Love your Thai woman and know that giving her too much information will eventually bring her enormous pressure from the black sheep in her family.

[laobali]

I was in the same position as you 7 years ago. I am now in a really happy trusting relationship.

Neverthe less I made a pre nuptial agreement that clearly separated her wealth and possessions[zero] and mine[significant and NOT in Thailand]. We were married 2 years later and I then made a will in Thailand.

I have been lucky to find real love. I am 71 and she is 50. This is more OK in Asia than elsewhere.

Go for it. Fall in love. Enjoy your life. But don't forget the hard learned lessons.

Who's the beneficiary of the will? If it's your wife, you are worth more to her dead than alive.

But there's a good chance she will let nature take its course, and there's no guarantee she won't go first.

[GOLDBUGGY]

IMO NEVER divulge your financial info to a Thai woman.

If she really loves you for yourself, she will not ask, though she will probably want to know if you have enough to provide for her.

If my wife had insisted on knowing how much I have back home, she wouldn't be my wife, or my GF. How else do you know if she loves you for yourself or your money?

Same goes for buying her a house, car or giving money to her family/ paying Sin Sod etc.

If you wouldn't do it with a western woman, why would you do it with a Thai woman?

I agree with this Guy but may I add "IMO NEVER divulge your financial info to Any Woman of Any Country. She doesn't need to know this.

What she does need to know is that you can support yourself and her. She just needs to feel secure in this regard. If you really don't have to work then tell her so, adding you are not Bill Gates either. That you still have to watch your money closely. That should satisfy her. Stick to a rule that you refuse to buy condo's for others when you do not own your own, which they would understand. Then continue to rent and put that money into a Safe Dividend Paying Stock which covers your rent money.

Guys! This is not a question of whether you trust Your Woman or not! It is the question of why put this temptation of your Life Savings on her plate, where the next logical act is to see she has access to it? The one sure thing about any woman is that when she discovers she does not need you anymore to enjoy the same life style, or better, she will fly the chicken coop.

What did that Comic "Red Green" use to say? "That if your woman doesn't find you handsome, she had better find you handy". There is a lot of truth to that! So give her an excuse to leave you by flashing money in front of her face and showing her how easy it is to take away from you, and she may just do that. I also speak from experience, and now married with a Thai Woman who I have no problems with for many years and the best thing in my life.

Don't look at this if there is a huge age difference or you are not that handsome man you were years ago. Or maybe never were. Look at nature to understand the Woman! Did you know that a Female Bird does not choose the most handsome Male Bird, or the Youngest and Strongest Male Bird she can find to mate with? This Female Bird chooses the Male Bird who can build her the best nest! She needs this as she has an overwhelming need to reproduce, which we don't, and which is much stronger then good looks and strength. She simply needs this nest and bird to help her raise her young.

Women are no different. Sure the read about a Handsome Prince coming to there rescue as a child but are more practical also. They settle for the man who can build them the best nest. So if you are in a relationship like that now, it is you. But if you give her this nest, and all the worms to feed her young for their entire life, well, you are just asking for trouble.

Woman are blind when it comes to this. Just look at the actors and rich men in your country and count the ones who's wife is half their age. I bet Paul can relate to this when his wife walked away with Millions. But does a woman knowingly and wantfully seek out such a man older in her? Hell No! They seek a Handsome Prince like always.

Just look at the Rich and Famous Women now and count how many have Husbands twice their age. Bet you can't think of many. All I could think of was Celine Dion and I am not betting big money that this will last either. So be happy and satisfied that to your women you are the one who can build the best nest. She doesn't need to know more than that, or wants to.

But the unexpected can always happen, like you can die. She may worry about that to. So take care of that if you really do love her and want here secure after you are gone. Make out a Will! Get Life Insurance in her name if you are young enough. Have a way she can get a hold of your money after you are gone. Or anything else you can think of.

Women are not after your money! They are after your security! The sad part is most women don't understand the difference between the two.

[nottocus]

My wife knows how much I have and how to access it. Kinda necessary in case I die.

[aTomsLife]

I want to echo the sentiment that this isn't only a Thai/Thailand thing. 50% of western marriages fail, so I would protect myself if I was living in the west, too.

50%! I mean, really -- it's almost like putting your life savings on red, spinning the roulette wheel, and then waiting (years) to see what color you end up on. But it's even worse than roulette, because if you win, that just means you get to keep what you already had.

I'm all for providing for a wife/family if that's the direction I go, but I'm not going to risk poverty over it. After all, no one gets married thinking they'll be part of the 50% who get divorced. But that doesn't mean one shouldn't prepare for it, just in case.

[MJP]

[JAFO]

What a silly post. Why would anyone come onto a forum to ask people a personal question like this? Do you really not know the answer?

Good Luck.

[lostinsurin]

Are you a troll, I think so by the amount of replies you are getting

I am a millionaire who married a bar girl, should I tell her?

I seem to have the same problem as you.

She doesn't know you married her?

No, we were both quite pissed at the time. In fact I can't remember much at all.

[thailiketoo]

Thailand and the INTERNET are interesting places. Underestimating people is always one way that the underdog can beat the odds. I know a lot of lawyers who vacation in Thailand and post on the INTERNET. I'm sure Thai women never meet them though.

But if they did you 007 types might be in for a surprise.

Woman living overseas was contemplating divorce and wanted us to find out how much her husband was worth. His assets were spread internationally, but he had previously lived in the United States, was working at a publicly listed U.S. company, and still had family in the country with whom he did business.

We were able to conclude that the husband was worth at least double what his wife had suspected, based on U.S. securities filings and other public records.

You can read our piece in the New York Law Journal on asset searches during divorce cases, co-written with New York matrimonial attorney.

I'm sure Thai women aren't smart enough to know that though. Right.

Thai lawyers wouldn't know stuff like that would they? Naw too dumb. Probably don't know what a paralegal can do in the USA as far as record searches go. Naw.

You all do know there about 400,000 new college graduates in Thailand every year don't you? I would doubt they know how to search public records in the West. Too complicated for a Thai graduate. The probably don't even know how to type English into their Samsung Tablet.

Edited December 26, 2013 by thailiketoo

[Anders W Ferslev]

i get married, and did not pay any money to my wife s family.. my wife is from surin isan, for a little family, there have small carpenter shop, she s father and brother died 10years ago... my wife is 27 and im 33.. .. 4 years togehter now, married for 1 year and have a son 7 month old.. life is perfect..

i working here in Thailand, and find my wife in the place that i worked... she also dont know my salary or anything.. she ben in Denmark with me 2 times, and i was up there visit she s family many times, no one never ask for money..

so i say go for it, and dont listen to all the man there was cheated by pattaya bar girls, good luck to you

[cosmont]

Marry a Thai woman, list of rules :

Do not speak anything about your AS/SET or income

Make a prenuptial aggreement

Do not pay Sinsod, you are not Thai

Do not buy anything Under her name

Keep your main As/set outside from Thailand

Because if one day, you come to divorce, you will be in bad situation.

I talk with long experience.

[Neeranam]

If you want to know what her financial situation is and she lied to you, would you like/accept it? If not, then what gives you the right to lie to her? Are you going into marriage as equals or is it a business agreement with you being the superior?

The horror stories you mostly hear are guys who marry younger girls without a legal job from Nakhon Nowhere. Your situation is different.

If you are scared about your money then make sure you get a prenuptial. If you get divorced, you'll be covered.

I am not entirely honest with my wife but only about small amounts of money and I believe it is for our own good.

[chrisandsu]

Here's a cracker for you .>> my wife is 8 years older then me (im 33), sponsored me to come to live in the country of her residence and has an equal share in everything we have built together as when I met her I didn't have much ! that's banks , land and houses . Also she's from that elusive middle class stock . Generalization is a very funny thing and I accept a lot of stereotype's are well deserved but maybe we shouldn't paint everyone with that very broad brush .