Am I just a farang bank to her?

[slipperylobster]

Read the Forums. You will find many successes. But then ask yourself why there are even a greater number of failures. Expectations are high. It is probably not in the majority cases where your money will be returned to you. Figure it gone/investment for a younger, well to do wife. In your case, they seem to be a struggling family. You are looking for love. Just once, be alone with her. Look straight into her eyes and muster all the testosterone you have left in your body. Tell her you can see your own unborn children in her beautiful eyes. Do not look away. You will know the truth. Not the best of them can match a man flooded with testosterone that wants to impregnate her with just his eyes. She may back down, but at least you know. Do what the kids do. Sneak her out to the hotel and give her something she has hopefully never had done right before. I am talking about consensual...not forcing her...but seducing her.

[KunMatt]

You met her on an Internet dating site looking for an expat. Do you really need ask yourself what she was doing there? She already found what she was looking for; 5 million baht for her companionship to give to her family, and she may well grow to love you but she was hunting for a rich husband and here you are.

Although it may sound fun at first, what are you going to do hanging around a bunch of teenagers if you go and spend time with her and her friends? Get over this crush of yours, get as much money and gold back as you can cuz it sounds like you work hard for it, and stop looking for love in all the wrong places.

[sdshaman]

Most Thai girls are driven by a desire to help and support their parents, this help includes marrying for money. But just because they do marry for money doesn't mean to say the relationship they enter into isn't a strong and loving one that will endure. The cynics will be along shortly to tell us that the issues of love and money shouldn't be mixed, regrettably it is so here in Thailand and it's part of the culture in many families so you may as well accept that.

So really all that leaves is the question of your feelings and how much, as you are finding out the amount is negotiable and you can't really fault them for starting with a high number, what you finish with is another story however. The option of course is to say it's all nonsense, in which case your relationship is likely over and you will have to walk away, the choice is yours. From experience the engagement party is not common and the exchange of rings sounds like a cross between old Thai and modern farang cultures, bless them! It sounds to me like you had an engagement party and not a wedding, you would almost certainly know if it was the latter.

Yes she is driven by the desire to support her parents. At our second talk about dowry it was just me and her mom. She said that she didn't think I was stable enough to take care of her and I walked away... maybe should have kept going. The next day her dad called and wanted to have breakfast like we did every day before. He said they liked me and the dowry was up to me. I see her mom always on facebk with over 3000 friends so I know she is concerned about gossip.

I think the engagement was what it was because I am a good guy and only here for a short time and they do not want to loose me (or my ATM) . I did feel pressured into it, but that is the past now. She wanted me to have a ring since I will soon leave for 7-8 month to travel and work. She always tells me I better not take it off. I think that they are sincere, but this practice is still shady! It was announced as an engagement, with no monk. The string tying thing at her grandparents is what threw me for a loop. I thought that was for marry??

Is all of this discussion (mother, father etc.) occuring in English?

She speaks ok english, father speaks better english, mother not ! lol

[sdshaman]

You met her on an Internet dating site looking for an expat. Do you really need ask yourself what she was doing there? She already found what she was looking for; 5 million baht for her companionship to give to her family, and she may well grow to love you but she was hunting for a rich husband and here you are.

Although it may sound fun at first, what are you going to do hanging around a bunch of teenagers if you go and spend time with her and her friends? Get over this crush of yours, get as much money and gold back as you can cuz it sounds like you work hard for it, and stop looking for love in all the wrong places.

She does not have friends, only family. Works all the time. I actually have some of the gold back now after talking to father this morning and she offered to pay me back however much of the sin sod I want back. The question now is not sincerity, it is can she be what I need. She is trying right now to get me to come back...

[sdshaman]

Read the Forums. You will find many successes. But then ask yourself why there are even a greater number of failures. Expectations are high. It is probably not in the majority cases where your money will be returned to you. Figure it gone/investment for a younger, well to do wife. In your case, they seem to be a struggling family. You are looking for love. Just once, be alone with her. Look straight into her eyes and muster all the testosterone you have left in your body. Tell her you can see your own unborn children in her beautiful eyes. Do not look away. You will know the truth. Not the best of them can match a man flooded with testosterone that wants to impregnate her with just his eyes. She may back down, but at least you know. Do what the kids do. Sneak her out to the hotel and give her something she has hopefully never had done right before. I am talking about consensual...not forcing her...but seducing her.

I just broke engagement, got ring back and she offered money back. Question is not about sincerity anymore, only about can she be what I want in a woman? I will try your suggestion since she is now texting me to come back to her... Wnat to hear something funny. I tell her I do not want a relationship that is about money and she says OK lets have relationship... come buy me gold and I will hang out with you... WT does she not understand about what I say? Is this Thai mother programming loop?

[sdshaman]

well I dont know where this will end but you all have to agree, with this many pages so quick the op might be trying out for post of the year and to just get in early, if he comes back with his "daddy" talk results this could go ballistic............

Here is daddy talk... Nothing went right for them. I said I needed time with her to make relationship happen and it cannot be about money. She said OK pay for trip to sea and family can all go... I said that is exactally what I am not going to do. I got ring back and money offered back. I also have her texting me to keep relationship going now. Obvious pressure from family to save their retirement fund. I told her we could talk and come to agreemet but relationship cannot be about money. Her reply... ok buy me gold and I will take off work tomorrow... hmmm... I have 20k in my pocket, I wonder what we should do tomorrow??

[FiftyTwo]

OP is a troll until he starts to reply to all the good advice he gets here.

I would pay 100k maximum and then no more money , its very simple, you must be in control of your marriage, not the family .

Why the ef would you pay 100K, for what?

two or three months of shagging a 19 year old ....... worth 100k IMHO.

But play first, pay later.

[msealey]

OP-

"Please only reply if you know facts about Thai."

If somebody claims to understand the facts about Thai, they don't understand the facts about Thai.

[Rakathaorai]

Read the Forums. You will find many successes. But then ask yourself why there are even a greater number of failures. Expectations are high. It is probably not in the majority cases where your money will be returned to you. Figure it gone/investment for a younger, well to do wife. In your case, they seem to be a struggling family. You are looking for love. Just once, be alone with her. Look straight into her eyes and muster all the testosterone you have left in your body. Tell her you can see your own unborn children in her beautiful eyes. Do not look away. You will know the truth. Not the best of them can match a man flooded with testosterone that wants to impregnate her with just his eyes. She may back down, but at least you know. Do what the kids do. Sneak her out to the hotel and give her something she has hopefully never had done right before. I am talking about consensual...not forcing her...but seducing her.

I just broke engagement, got ring back and she offered money back. Question is not about sincerity anymore, only about can she be what I want in a woman? I will try your suggestion since she is now texting me to come back to her... Wnat to hear something funny. I tell her I do not want a relationship that is about money and she says OK lets have relationship... come buy me gold and I will hang out with you... WT does she not understand about what I say? Is this Thai mother programming loop?

"she offered money back" accept. Get as much back as you can asap. Then if you want to investigate further tell her you want to see if you get along together without money, ie your not a bar girl correct?, invite her out on a date and as this guy said romance her. I doubt it's possible but you can try. Then still hire the private investigator to see if myself and the other guys are right.

Fact is my man we can be 99.99% sure she isn't a virgin. Most girls over 14-15 are not virgins even if their parents think so ... do you think they would tell them? FACE!

Thai girls that want you will want you to make love to them partly because they like you, partly because they like sex, partly because you are a wealthy status farang, partly because they hopefully believe you to be smart and attractive, and partly because they are worried that if you aren't making love to them you are sowing your seed elsewhere! It is so easy to find a young beautiful lover in Se Asia even for a lower middle class Thai man and they know it!

Even in Australia my university educated Hi So Thai gf would make sure I was well serviced BEFORE I went out alone, not just because she loves me but to reduce the chance of my hormones and built up seed increasing the likelyhood of me succumbing to the temptation of going with another woman whilst I was out!

AZN women are smart like that... they have no issue with being sexual objects like farang women who ironically love to perve at male strippers like The Chippendales ... but I digress!

Particularly if the TG (Thai Girl) is Buddhist she just doesn't have the sexual hangups of most western women. She will make merit to serve and please you.

Additionally find a decent connected Farang here or in the malls or bars that can introduce you to a nice Change Mai girl ... or even just dress up and go to a mall or Chang Mai universities at closing hours (when they are back at school) and attempt to chat to some cuties ... you will strike out on most but eventually find at least some who would like to improve there English and try to have a farang status bf. Your now ex fiancee will change her tune when she hears of you dating some other Chang Mai young cuties that are not bar girls!

It's ting tong (crazy) not to sample and learn more of the culture and girls before you buy one! Your gf would actually respect you more for that because that is what an intelligent man would do! She might say "not sincere" etc but secretly know you are doing the smart thing and respect that you are now not a pushover whimp.

Have fun, be confident, cheeky & learn some nid noi Thai if you haven't already ... it will open doors and girls....

[sdshaman]

OP-

"Please only reply if you know facts about Thai."

If somebody claims to understand the facts about Thai, they don't understand the facts about Thai.

Nice!

[FiftyTwo]

OP-

"Please only reply if you know facts about Thai."

If somebody claims to understand the facts about Thai, they don't understand the facts about Thai.

Nice!

Thailand is very easy to understand, it's a country of dishonest and corrupt gold-diggers who would sell their own mothers or daughters to make a buck. This rule is valid from the highest to the lowest, only the selling price changes.

[RigPig]

Yep, I've had a few Thai GF's, been taken for a bit, found some good ones and some bad ones. But the one that got me the best was 19 years old, I wasn't naive or green, and expected something to happen eventually (it was worth it at the time). But I didn't see it coming to the degree it happened !!! It was still worth it and I just chalked it up... But believe me she was good, had it all down pat !!

One thing you might try OP is click on her profile in Skype and see how many contacts she has, Thai girls ONLY use Skype to chat to farangs. If it is not there then I'd be even more worried as she had the foresight to make it in-displayable. But hey a lot of us have been there with the trust and money thing. Get her over to your hotel for a nice meal alone and see where it goes. If her mother is on her back and she is trying to get you to come back you may be lucky and score !!! Then tell her you'll have to think about it..... The shoe will be on the other foot so to speak.

By the way if it doesn't work could you PM me her Skype ID and phone number......

[rotary]

U mentioned a 6-7 year old child. Whose child is this? Are you sure?

I have a good guess who child that is. Heck dad might be standing by playing cousin. Ha ha

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[KunMatt]

You met her on an Internet dating site looking for an expat. Do you really need ask yourself what she was doing there? She already found what she was looking for; 5 million baht for her companionship to give to her family, and she may well grow to love you but she was hunting for a rich husband and here you are.

Although it may sound fun at first, what are you going to do hanging around a bunch of teenagers if you go and spend time with her and her friends? Get over this crush of yours, get as much money and gold back as you can cuz it sounds like you work hard for it, and stop looking for love in all the wrong places.

She does not have friends, only family. Works all the time. I actually have some of the gold back now after talking to father this morning and she offered to pay me back however much of the sin sod I want back. The question now is not sincerity, it is can she be what I need. She is trying right now to get me to come back...

Of course she has friends, she lives in the village she grew up in and went to school in. Where do you think all of her school friends and bfs are? Where are all the other teenagers she grew up with? Or was she raised inside that salon? If you are not being introduced to any of her friends then this should also set off a few alarm bells.

Get as much back as you can, and if you are really want to test the sincerity of this girl then set up a few new profiles on the website you met her on and try to start talking to her on it, see if she says she is single.

From what you have said it doesn't seem like you two have much in common anyways, mentally, socially, or anything, you said she cannot even verbally communicate with you? Again, do you not wonder why she is so good at net speak? How many guys from the internet do you think have visited before you? These are all things I would consider, and in my consideration, if I were you, I would cut my losses, get as much of your money back as you can and be off as you are not off to a good start.

[slipperylobster]

Look for her "Broker"..thats the one who set her up with you on that website. She probably has 30,000 baht or more in her pocket. You will not get that back.

[msealey]

OP hasn't posted for 15 minutes, to keep this groundbreakingly long thread alive. Deffo Troll!

What are you jealous or something? What do you want me to say to make you believe this story is real? I was up all night getting advice from willing people that have more experience than me at this. If you have something intelligent to add to this thred then do it, otw don't waste the space or anyones time that have volunteered to help someone that uses this forum for what it was intended for. I do not need your post!

Wow just Wow! looks like she's really got to you man!

This whole story reminds me of the drama that ensued when my friend Ken came over to visit from China last year...he's a Panda.

He arrives here meets a cute little thing and takes her back to a short time hotel. At the hotel he said they enacted several positions had the most passionate sex of his life and he realized he couldn't let her go.

Whilst lying together smoking a cigarette, he tells her "I can't believe my luck, you're young, beautiful, cute and so full of innocence. I don't know what you see in me I'm just a fat stupid Panda bear but I think I've fallen in love with you". She's a bit taken back by this so just smiles and says "money 1000 bath. tuk tuk, go saloon please baby!!"

Like you alarm bells started ringing with Ken at this point so he confronted her "I thought you love me for me why you ask me for money go salon?"

To break it down simply and to overcome the language barrier she pulls out her Samsung dictionary and shows him "look I lady you pay for love" his heart break as he reads the entry for prostitute [noun 1. a woman who engages in sexual intercourse for money.]

Unlike you Ken has big Chinese Panda Balls so hands her back the phone on the "Panda Bear" entry grabs his coat and f**ks off out of the door;

[noun 1. a white and black bearlike animal, rare and native to the forest of China. Eat's, Shoots and Leaves.]

[Carrerakiss]

Your biggest problem is that you are moving way too fast. You've known this girl less that a month, Internet stuff doesn't count. Why would you make a big financial and emotional commitment so quickly.

Slow down, take the time to check out the extent of the financial commitments required and get to know the girl properly. The chaperoned time you've had isn't usual and for sure you don't know this girl properly. Whatever you do, don't get sucked in believing it'll all be all right when we are alone together. Ain't gonna happen.

So far, she has shown zero commitment to you. This is 2014 and Thais pay some heed to archaic cultural traditions, but in reality, very little. TBH, it sounds like the family is living in some kind of time warp.

[Neurath]

well I dont know where this will end but you all have to agree, with this many pages so quick the op might be trying out for post of the year and to just get in early width=20 alt=tongue.png pagespeed_url_hash=3761137055>, if he comes back with his "daddy" talk results this could go ballistic............

Here is daddy talk... Nothing went right for them. I said I needed time with her to make relationship happen and it cannot be about money. She said OK pay for trip to sea and family can all go... I said that is exactally what I am not going to do. I got ring back and money offered back. I also have her texting me to keep relationship going now. Obvious pressure from family to save their retirement fund. I told her we could talk and come to agreemet but relationship cannot be about money. Her reply... ok buy me gold and I will take off work tomorrow... hmmm... I have 20k in my pocket, I wonder what we should do tomorrow??

"I have 20k in my pocket, I wonder what we should do tomorrow??"

Stick it very deep into your pants pocket, deep pockets with a hole in the bottom, and ask her to retrieve it. If she stays for a grab and tickle she just might be a keeper but she's most certainly a player.

[taiping]

"I tell her I do not want a relationship that is about money and she says OK lets have relationship... come buy me gold and I will hang out with you."

Even if it was not clear before, surely this tells you the answer you have been seeking.

The original 5-million baht demand should have been a red flag to start with.

[msealey]

The irony is if you didn't give her any money, tried harder to "finger" her during alone time and sneered at her mum every-time she opened her fat mouth this girl would find you both mysterious and exotic.

The real trick to winning a Thai girls heart is to negate everything they say with ไม่ Mai (not or no). "go eat rice"..."not go eat rice", "pay money family"... "not pay money family"...

-here's where it get's complicated, but the words start to touch her heart: "you not love me, you not care me"..."I not not love you, I not not care you".

A double negative as shown in the statement above, confirms a neutral to mildly positive state of affection towards her but leaves room for her to try and win you around.

You have to keep her in this state whereby she's trying to win you around for the term of your relationship or it's game over.

Disclosure: prefer wanking, hands don't talk back

[slipperylobster]

Yep, I've had a few Thai GF's, been taken for a bit, found some good ones and some bad ones. But the one that got me the best was 19 years old, I wasn't naive or green, and expected something to happen eventually (it was worth it at the time). But I didn't see it coming to the degree it happened !!! It was still worth it and I just chalked it up... But believe me she was good, had it all down pat !!

One thing you might try OP is click on her profile in Skype and see how many contacts she has, Thai girls ONLY use Skype to chat to farangs. If it is not there then I'd be even more worried as she had the foresight to make it in-displayable. But hey a lot of us have been there with the trust and money thing. Get her over to your hotel for a nice meal alone and see where it goes. If her mother is on her back and she is trying to get you to come back you may be lucky and score !!! Then tell her you'll have to think about it..... The shoe will be on the other foot so to speak.

By the way if it doesn't work could you PM me her Skype ID and phone number......

"Only use Skype" ?

[tingtongtingtong]

well I dont know where this will end but you all have to agree, with this many pages so quick the op might be trying out for post of the year and to just get in early, if he comes back with his "daddy" talk results this could go ballistic............

... hmmm... I have 20k in my pocket, I wonder what we should do tomorrow??

TROLL

Your writing style is not even that of a man in his late 30s or even a man.

I think you are a younger women with too much time on your hands

You're boring me now young lady good day to you

[473geo]

You've put yourself in a position from which I think you will never recover, Tvisa advice has corrupted your own soul and good intentions, from 5 Mill to refusing to pay for a great day out at the beach her family and younger sister could enjoy. You have been offered a slender line of salvation but unfortunately appear to have confirmed that money is indeed important to you, and her family are not!

Don't worry many make the same mistake, in a land where lovely women are available everywhere, you appear to be following advice from single guys? ever wonder why they remain single or are handing out advice off the back of a failed relationship?

Most likely they have completely failed to grasp and understand the 'family relationship'

You get on with the potential mother in law you are in with a good chance, otherwise an uphill battle may well ensue, but I thought every potential son in law acknowledged this. If you cannot accept that her family are part of your life, how can they accept you? So you are looking to create a divide that will surely provide at least an unhappy wife, at best a rocky future.

No trip to the beach .......you've blown it!

[msealey]

well I dont know where this will end but you all have to agree, with this many pages so quick the op might be trying out for post of the year and to just get in early, if he comes back with his "daddy" talk results this could go ballistic............

... hmmm... I have 20k in my pocket, I wonder what we should do tomorrow??

TROLL

Your writing style is not even that of a man in his late 30s or even a man.

I think you are a younger women with too much time on your hands

You're boring me now young lady good day to you

A simple dox of his user name, does show he is in fact a 38 year old American man. but also a sex pervert troll.. great thread while it lasted though!!

[Somtamnication]

Well, OP. 16 odd pages. What are you going to do?

[473geo]

I enjoy these threads, they confirm that even the views of long standing 'experts' on Tvisa are mostly subjective

[slipperylobster]

Well, OP. 16 odd pages. What are you going to do?

I can see two possible scenarios..........

[jomcondo]

You've put yourself in a position from which I think you will never recover, Tvisa advice has corrupted your own soul and good intentions, from 5 Mill to refusing to pay for a great day out at the beach her family and younger sister could enjoy. You have been offered a slender line of salvation but unfortunately appear to have confirmed that money is indeed important to you, and her family are not!

Don't worry many make the same mistake, in a land where lovely women are available everywhere, you appear to be following advice from single guys? ever wonder why they remain single or are handing out advice off the back of a failed relationship?

Most likely they have completely failed to grasp and understand the 'family relationship'

You get on with the potential mother in law you are in with a good chance, otherwise an uphill battle may well ensue, but I thought every potential son in law acknowledged this. If you cannot accept that her family are part of your life, how can they accept you? So you are looking to create a divide that will surely provide at least an unhappy wife, at best a rocky future.

No trip to the beach .......you've blown it!

how do you know if posters are single or no?

the only thing he might avoid is a bunch of gold diggers that displayed their intentions very early.

[473geo]

You've put yourself in a position from which I think you will never recover, Tvisa advice has corrupted your own soul and good intentions, from 5 Mill to refusing to pay for a great day out at the beach her family and younger sister could enjoy. You have been offered a slender line of salvation but unfortunately appear to have confirmed that money is indeed important to you, and her family are not!

Don't worry many make the same mistake, in a land where lovely women are available everywhere, you appear to be following advice from single guys? ever wonder why they remain single or are handing out advice off the back of a failed relationship?

Most likely they have completely failed to grasp and understand the 'family relationship'

You get on with the potential mother in law you are in with a good chance, otherwise an uphill battle may well ensue, but I thought every potential son in law acknowledged this. If you cannot accept that her family are part of your life, how can they accept you? So you are looking to create a divide that will surely provide at least an unhappy wife, at best a rocky future.

No trip to the beach .......you've blown it!

how do you know if posters are single or no?

the only thing he might avoid is a bunch of gold diggers that displayed their intentions very early.

He encouraged high expectation, they obliged......he got cold feet and was stuck on how to reset their expectation to a level he could comfortably accomodate.....enter the Tvisa give no money 'experts'....it would appear he now just wants free sex with the lady.....no?

[RigPig]

Yep, I've had a few Thai GF's, been taken for a bit, found some good ones and some bad ones. But the one that got me the best was 19 years old, I wasn't naive or green, and expected something to happen eventually (it was worth it at the time). But I didn't see it coming to the degree it happened !!! It was still worth it and I just chalked it up... But believe me she was good, had it all down pat !!

One thing you might try OP is click on her profile in Skype and see how many contacts she has, Thai girls ONLY use Skype to chat to farangs. If it is not there then I'd be even more worried as she had the foresight to make it in-displayable. But hey a lot of us have been there with the trust and money thing. Get her over to your hotel for a nice meal alone and see where it goes. If her mother is on her back and she is trying to get you to come back you may be lucky and score !!! Then tell her you'll have to think about it..... The shoe will be on the other foot so to speak.

By the way if it doesn't work could you PM me her Skype ID and phone number......

"Only use Skype" ?

Ok maybe I should have worded it "Skype is only used for..."

Line and other App's are used too but many of them are also used to "chat" to friends, girlfriends...

In my experience the only reason they use Skype is to chat to farang.