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Posted

I know it's a lot. She has a car and a failed business to pay for.

I'm just not sure how to deal with this other than what I've done. Say I'm not sending anymore til after married.

You may as well put a noose round your neck-run,don,t walk facepalm.gif

Posted

crikey... you are very naive about thai culture. in this situation a thai man would never pay sinsot. you are being manupulated by your gf and her family. i suggect you get out of there and find a decent normal girl, of shichthere are many, who will not require any money from you.

a quick check on the veracity of your relationship; explain you cant quite support to the past amounts and belts will have to be tightened. see what happens.

  • Like 1
Posted

Hi everyone there,

I'm reading your story, i understand your feeling well.

I'm Thai lady also.

Sin-sod is important for Thai people that we call thai tradition and culture and many foreigners dont understand.

its not for only virgin or not

its thai tradition and culture!

but if it happend like this to me and my bf . . . and if i love him so much i will also ask for sinsod but not too much

because all sinsod later after marry will be from us (this depend on you and her again)

just for show that we do all things right by the thai way ....

normally if you give sinsod for your bride its will be not too much and not to less (when you love her real and her love you real also)

normally just about 100,000 - 300,000 baht and a bit gold with a small party (this is ok already but if give less can do also but it looks like you will insult your lady)

but if rich people do the groom will pay for sinsod 100 millions baht or more (in case of rich people you can see from the tv)

i dont know how much they ask you for sinsod?

in case if you also take good care of her already like that i hope they will ask not too much

and please understand, that sinsod should have on the wedding but like i told you not too much and not too less.

how and wish you all lucky with your love ....

happy new year 2014 smile.png

A very helpful post and I for one have have learned something something from. Many thanks.

  • Like 1
Posted
I met this woman 14 months ago. She's now 30 and I'm 45. When we first met I was reluctant about online dating to a point but open in the sense that you never know.

We talked for about 4 months and decided to meet. I flew to CM to meet her and spent two weeks there. Met her mother, her daughter, and a portion of her family. We fell in love during this trip.

I then flew there later again last year and we became engaged.

She is a wonderful woman and a good mother. She has a 5 year old daughter. Father isn't around. She had a quick marriage before daughter was born for birth certificate reasons. Then divorced later.

Sinsod is now becoming the major issue we deal with. We are engaged and love each other very much. I love her daughter as if she was mine. I've been supporting all of them including her mother for over a year. 1500+ usd each month. Sending extra at time to help keep her daughter in a nice school etc. the 1500 has been sure and she can count on it.

Now that we want to marry her mom insists I pay Sinsod. I mKe make good money and overall I can deal with paying it. This issue I can not do it all at one time. It's haRd to save for a big Thai wedding and Sinsod. She believes mom will deny wedding if Sinsod not paid in full full at wedding. I suggested maybe over 3 months.

Fact is I cannot keep us together sending her 1500usd on top of my bills and save money for a wedding. I love her and she loves me but seems Sinsod is going to end us.

Any insight from anyone?

Yes: You and fiancee read Thailand Fever. The same copy of the book is in Thai and English (right page and left page reapectively). Every gf I had read it and used it to help,her family understand, and it also helped me understand. from there, communication is much easier. Most bookstores in LOS have it.

Sent from my MyPhone A919 Duo using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

  • Like 1
Posted

if anyone still dont understand about thai culture or tradition please ask me because im stay in the middle thai and farang

because im real thai lady and i've also farang bf but i ask him nothing

because he is alwasy take good care of me already

//e-mail removed//

  • Like 2
Posted

Sinsot is against the instinct of most Western husbands but this is Thailand, as they say. Dig in your heals with a total refusal and you may lose a genuine lady because she is obliged to put mother first. You need to be flexible. The lady is caught in a cleft stick and the would-be husband should look for a compromise that suits him and digs her out with dignity.

A "genuine lady" would not just sit back and let the punter pay triple over the tote odds each month, I'm thinking. Not all it seems here it would appear.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  • Like 1
Posted
I agree with tingtong that it is hard to believe that he is serious. This query has all the parts of a classic and age-old Thai-Farang relationship scam with the greedy MIL who wants something that she knows she shouldn't even ask for. I really can't believe that this isn't a troll post. But if by some small chance it is for real, I would advise the OP to avoid marriage (in Thailand) completely. If he has to ask about this type of situation (and doesn't have the ability to research something like this with tonnes of information available on the internet) he is likely very naive and not well equipped to determine what is happening around him in Thailand. He will definitely be financially and spiritual picked dead by the family he (allegedly) is thinking about marrying into.

No this could be real, I got bailed up in an Airport lounge by a bloke with a similar tale and he had no idea about much at all including sinsot, other than he was going to marry this TG. Sounds so similar to this story.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Posted

To the OP, do you really think that the requests for $$$ will stop once you are married? If so, I have a nice bridge I'll offer you cheap!!!!

Posted

Brev.... That's the advice I was looking for.

I don't know all. You sure the hell don't either. Thanks for the non helpful replies.

My situation

I have a GF from Trang, 43 year old never married no kids-one previous thai BF-university degree and currently living/working in Bangkok-she has never asked me for money and as regards sinsot her attitude is-"I want nothing from you but your love" maybe I,m damm lucky but I regard myself as a good catch for her-I personally would NEVER pay any lady to mary me thumbsup.gif

Yep, even the market stalls give away the old fruit for free.

Posted

You wrote, you love her and she loves you??? Wake up pal, she does not love you, she just loves your money. What the hell came to your mind sending that huge amount of money monthly and some extra once in a while????? Do you actually know the salaries over here?

You have met her for 2 weeks plus another couple of days where she has blown your brain out of your head that you send that huge amount monthly.

People like you are responsible for the situation like what we have in LOS right now where most girls have 3-5 sponsers sending those ridiculous amounts.

If I were you I would run run run!!!

And stop paying anything!!!

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

  • Like 1
Posted

You should show some sinsod at the wedding but it should be returned. If this is only a face thing I think it is ok for show only. Maybe 100,000 and two baht of gold. Let the mother pay for the wedding out of the 100,000 when it is over and take the remaining. The gold should go to your wife.

Or better yet, don't get married .... She is an expensive girl for Thailand.

Posted

honestly someone needs to put one on your chin then you might wake up with some sense . Has to be a troll no one could possibly be that stupid or desperate .

Believe you me, they walk and work amongst us.

Worked alongside a guy that 8 years and $200k later the penny finally dropped.

The sin sot and wedding were of course extra to the above.

This was in spite of colleagues and even the Thais telling him he was a mug.

Wonder what upper control limit the Op has set for himself?

How many $$$$ will he allow himself to be taken for before the penny finally drops?

The OPs problem, he has already made a rod for his own back, why the heck is he sending $1500 a month, for what?

Posted

There is another 'SinSot and ChiangMai Lady' thread running the in the General Forum ATM.

Different Members of course.

Interesting to read the lasted post from the OP of that dilemma ...

Sorry for the late reply but I have been at a celebration with this family that I am part of.

We BBQ pork and then A and I drove around town on a scooter looking for something good for desert. I wasn't into the BBQ liver but the pork was good.

Before I really tell you the conclusion I want to thank everyone for the moral support, good and bad posts alike. I think that I gained some knowledge but mostly everyone giving me their input and expertise (lol) really helped me through this situation.

Yes I am a movie maker and a script writer, but that wasn't the purpose of this thread. It may very well be the conclusion of it but not the purpose. I have worked on 5 marvel films and about 30 other movies most of ones you all have seen I am sure. I also have several independant films I have directed and produced. Unfortunately I am not going to reveal my name for you to verify. Just know that when you watch your favorite recent Marvel film, my hands were all over the making of it. OK enough about me

There are two posts that I want to especially thank and point out. If you want names you will have to find them because I have too much to write to tell you the story.

"If you think you understand Thai tradition. You don't understand Thai tradition"

And another one that mentioned that the responses from the single guys is the reason that they are single.

When you hear what happened some of you are going to realise you are #$^@$'s, me included.

Those that gave the most positive responses will probably shed a tear.

Those in suspense will hopefully be entertained... Those that complained about this thread and wanted it shut down.. What are you doing still reading? did I get to you also? LOL

The conclusion to this story is in an ebook and you can buy it for 200 Baht on www.......

Just kidding, but wouldn't that be brilliant?

Don't worry I would never due that to such a captive audience that helped me though this... whatever it was! The conclusion will be in a seperate post...

Not drawing a connection, just drawing your attention ... rolleyes.gif

.

  • Like 1
Posted

Before we got married, i told in-laws that it was customary for brides to pay sinsod in farang land. Never an issue after that "talk" :)

Sent from my jack-in-the-box

  • Like 2
Posted

^

Hit the nail on the head , by sending that amount of money every month you have no one to blame for this situation but yourself.

They now think you are a rich ferang and have there claws into you.

Me I personally think you are a troll ,if you are not a troll then you are extremely naive honestly engaged and marrying a girl you have not even spent a whole month with .........pull the other one

Posted

Brev.... That's the advice I was looking for.

I don't know all. You sure the hell don't either. Thanks for the non helpful replies.

My situation

I have a GF from Trang, 43 year old never married no kids-one previous thai BF-university degree and currently living/working in Bangkok-she has never asked me for money and as regards sinsot her attitude is-"I want nothing from you but your love" maybe I,m damm lucky but I regard myself as a good catch for her-I personally would NEVER pay any lady to mary me thumbsup.gif

Yep, even the market stalls give away the old fruit for free.

Your comment shows eiher immaturity or ignorance on your behalf- or probably both?

whistling.gif

Posted

$1500 per month is really decent money. After all that support, sin sot should only be a word and nothing else.

Someone else on TV suggested to use a big 10 million baht mock up cheque for show.

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