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Posted

Get married under Thai law at the local Amphur. Costs next to nothing, is quick, and easy to do. Parents not involved in any way. If she truly loves you she will do this. Thai traditional ceremony can come later along with the party. Sin sod is NOT paid for a girl who is a divorcee or who has children, and NO Thai would expect it.

You are being taken for a fool. Beware.

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Posted

First. Thanks for all the replies although some were posted by people with internet strength. I'm an ex gamer, so more than familiar with the attitude. It's the internet.

I'm not a troll I work to much, travel too much to have time to troll some post I made to mess with people as you can see from my lack of posts. Everyone can have their opinion and that fine.

1) She's been cut to $700 as far as my helping her.

2) Sinsod was cut in half, all will be shown but only 25% will go to mom. Moms other half will be paid later. 50% of the Sinsod will be put in a savings account for the daughter.

3) We are both buying Thailand Fever to help us understand each other better.

4) The wedding will continue, but the number of guests will be shrunk considerably. Less than 15 will attend. Will now be at grandmothers house and not a resort as planned.

Not all was lost reading through some of the garbage posted. Lol. She's not totally ok with my decisions, but her mother agreed too.

Thanks,

Not a troll :)

  • Like 2
Posted

I just find it sad that men have to pay for "love", the more you pay the more she loves you.

What the hell happened to romance?

I've usually found, the more you pay, the less she loves you.

Posted

First. Thanks for all the replies although some were posted by people with internet strength. I'm an ex gamer, so more than familiar with the attitude. It's the internet.

I'm not a troll I work to much, travel too much to have time to troll some post I made to mess with people as you can see from my lack of posts. Everyone can have their opinion and that fine.

1) She's been cut to $700 as far as my helping her.

2) Sinsod was cut in half, all will be shown but only 25% will go to mom. Moms other half will be paid later. 50% of the Sinsod will be put in a savings account for the daughter.

3) We are both buying Thailand Fever to help us understand each other better.

4) The wedding will continue, but the number of guests will be shrunk considerably. Less than 15 will attend. Will now be at grandmothers house and not a resort as planned.

Not all was lost reading through some of the garbage posted. Lol. She's not totally ok with my decisions, but her mother agreed too.

Thanks,

Not a troll :)

Poor buggah. Feel sorry for you and your blindness.... Love is blind, but your missus and her family clearly have their eyes wide open.

Posted

First. Thanks for all the replies although some were posted by people with internet strength. I'm an ex gamer, so more than familiar with the attitude. It's the internet.

I'm not a troll I work to much, travel too much to have time to troll some post I made to mess with people as you can see from my lack of posts. Everyone can have their opinion and that fine.

1) She's been cut to $700 as far as my helping her.

2) Sinsod was cut in half, all will be shown but only 25% will go to mom. Moms other half will be paid later. 50% of the Sinsod will be put in a savings account for the daughter.

3) We are both buying Thailand Fever to help us understand each other better.

4) The wedding will continue, but the number of guests will be shrunk considerably. Less than 15 will attend. Will now be at grandmothers house and not a resort as planned.

Not all was lost reading through some of the garbage posted. Lol. She's not totally ok with my decisions, but her mother agreed too.

Thanks,

Not a troll :)

The other post that was similar to this stupid post was a troll..... You are same !!!

Close this post ......

  • Like 1
Posted

First. Thanks for all the replies although some were posted by people with internet strength. I'm an ex gamer, so more than familiar with the attitude. It's the internet.

I'm not a troll I work to much, travel too much to have time to troll some post I made to mess with people as you can see from my lack of posts. Everyone can have their opinion and that fine.

1) She's been cut to $700 as far as my helping her.

2) Sinsod was cut in half, all will be shown but only 25% will go to mom. Moms other half will be paid later. 50% of the Sinsod will be put in a savings account for the daughter.

3) We are both buying Thailand Fever to help us understand each other better.

4) The wedding will continue, but the number of guests will be shrunk considerably. Less than 15 will attend. Will now be at grandmothers house and not a resort as planned.

Not all was lost reading through some of the garbage posted. Lol. She's not totally ok with my decisions, but her mother agreed too.

Thanks,

Not a troll smile.png

A good compromise; well done. Ignore the sceptics/Thailand cynics on here. As you know this is one of their favourite topics, along with double pricing! I hope you've chosen well and wish you all the best.

  • Like 1
Posted

First. Thanks for all the replies although some were posted by people with internet strength. I'm an ex gamer, so more than familiar with the attitude. It's the internet.

I'm not a troll I work to much, travel too much to have time to troll some post I made to mess with people as you can see from my lack of posts. Everyone can have their opinion and that fine.

1) She's been cut to $700 as far as my helping her.

2) Sinsod was cut in half, all will be shown but only 25% will go to mom. Moms other half will be paid later. 50% of the Sinsod will be put in a savings account for the daughter.

3) We are both buying Thailand Fever to help us understand each other better.

4) The wedding will continue, but the number of guests will be shrunk considerably. Less than 15 will attend. Will now be at grandmothers house and not a resort as planned.

Not all was lost reading through some of the garbage posted. Lol. She's not totally ok with my decisions, but her mother agreed too.

Thanks,

Not a troll smile.png

Well done.

You might consider a surprise sweetener just in case 'face' is a little bruised. Perhaps an extra item of gold over that already agreed or Chinese Table for the meal rather than the typical village party menu.

Posted

First. Thanks for all the replies although some were posted by people with internet strength. I'm an ex gamer, so more than familiar with the attitude. It's the internet.

I'm not a troll I work to much, travel too much to have time to troll some post I made to mess with people as you can see from my lack of posts. Everyone can have their opinion and that fine.

1) She's been cut to $700 as far as my helping her.

2) Sinsod was cut in half, all will be shown but only 25% will go to mom. Moms other half will be paid later. 50% of the Sinsod will be put in a savings account for the daughter.

3) We are both buying Thailand Fever to help us understand each other better.

4) The wedding will continue, but the number of guests will be shrunk considerably. Less than 15 will attend. Will now be at grandmothers house and not a resort as planned.

Not all was lost reading through some of the garbage posted. Lol. She's not totally ok with my decisions, but her mother agreed too.

Thanks,

Not a troll smile.png

It seems that you have managed to get things on a more sensible level with regard to the monthly support.

I think the fact that you were sending ฿50,000 a month was one of the reasons why the sin sodt was so high, and probably why they were surprised when you couldn't/wouldn't cough up.

You set the bar very high in the first place so it is understandable why it was expected to stay that high. That was your mistake.

There's lots of 'experts' who've read somewhere that sin sodt isn't paid when the woman has been married previously, and that there is some kind of 'sin sodt rule book' that can be consulted.

It's just not like that in reality.

Every region has their own traditions, and every family is different.

Personally, I wouldn't reduce the amount of guests do drastically. A big part of the buzz for me on our wedding day was the fact that there were so many people there. It wasn't all that expensive to lay on food and drink for a couple of hundred people. It all took place in and around our house anyway, so no fancy venue hire or anything like that.

I hope you enjoy your day.

  • Like 2
Posted

Must love all the internet replies. Morden might be the only one that rationally replied.

I do know that Thai family ties are strong, and some old school mothers might insist on Sinsod.

I have taken good care of this woman and her family. I came here looking for some sane advice on how to handle this situation. Not to be told you are a sucker you are being scammed.

All insight is welcome but don't let everything you have read in the past to cause your replies to mean one way.

I'm not a troll. I came here asking a simple question. Maybe I'm a sucker, maybe I'm not and just looking for some outside views. Don't be so harsh people.....lol

Nevertheless, this is a case of the MIL, and maybe daughter taking advantage of you. You do seem very naive. You will be taken by this family. 99%. The missus can't believe your generosity and joked to me about why she couldn't have met you before me. Her 2 university educated, single, no kids, sisters would think Christmas was here if they could snare you for half the cost of your current outlays, with NO sinsod. MIL would be just happy to see them happy and cared for.

Be tougher, mate...Find out if the family really wants you and your money, or JUST your money.

  • Like 2
Posted

That was one one of the last things I said. Go apply for a marriage visa and we will marry here.

Just stupid that Sinsod is becoming an issue.

I understand the purpose of it, but I'm not taking help or an income away.

I am the income.

Tell the Mom that in your culture, the woman's family pays and see how she reacts.

Listen, $1500 is a helluva lot of money for a Thai woman you basically have not known for very long. The woman is 30 years old. Thai culture or not, it's time for her to stand up to her mother and say, "I love him, he's taken good care of us, we're getting married Mom." I know some may disagree but like others have said, she already has a child with another man and nothing should be paid at all. A Thai man won't pay a single satang, neither should you. Be willing to walk away or be taken advantage of, the choice is yours.

  • Like 1
Posted

Morden

Thank you for the most educational reply.

I'm not against paying honestly. But between my bills and hers there is no way I can save for all that is being asked for. Someone needs to give.

Cancelled wedding....or a show as you say and mom gets Sinsod over a few months. Or I walk my ass on. Leaving a lovely woman and child.

If Sinsod means more than supporting a family WELL for a year then .

Surely this a troll post? Who falls in love on 2nd meeting? Who pays out so much a month?

My wife's family accepted my decision not to pay sin sot as there were two children. I agreed to put them through college & I give the wife 15,000 baht per month for 'housekeeping. My in-laws worship the ground I walk on. The girls are training to be teachers as I used to do.

If the OP is genuine I cannot believe any one could become so pussy-whipped in such a short time.

Posted

Pants completely down.

Just out of intetest how many thai people have you dated in the past, and whats your complete time spent in thailand.

Sinsod is really only if they need it, and they intend to give it back if they dont.

Posted

Pants completely down.

Just out of intetest how many thai people have you dated in the past, and whats your complete time spent in thailand.

Sinsod is really only if they need it, and they intend to give it back if they dont.

Posted

Don't pay sinsod. I also did not pay, I refused because my wife had already a son, when we married. Your lady should be more then happy with the money you pay every month, and I think you pay really too much. Average income in Thailand is between 10'000 and 20'000 Baht per month. It seems that the mother of your lady mistakes you for a milk cow, common attitude in Thailand, because they think all falangs are millionaires.

  • Like 1
Posted

OP.. pleeeaaase do not come back on TVF in a few months moaning about how this "nice" Thai girl ripped you off.

Posted

US$1500 a month? I pray and hope my gf doesn't read this....!

Too late....mine already has. Guess what we're goin to be 'discussing' all day today then...cheesy.gif

  • Like 1
Posted

Izzbroke, I hope you realize that this may only be "Act I."

I'm not sure about other countries, but if you are American and you ever desire to take your new daughter out of the country the American Consulate DEMANDS that you have either proof of the father's death, or written consent from the birth father. It makes not a whit of difference if he left her, never supported her, or beats her regularly.

It may be as simple as paying him 10,000 baht, or it may be more complex especially if mother or grandparents (especially those of the birth father who may (or may not be) more "present," than is implied. And it may be that you will never, ever--until she is aged 21 be able to leave Thailand with her.

The American embassy acts upon its own. American family law does NOT come into play. So if you think that somehow you can bypass this odd (and stupid) American Consulate rule--think again.

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