Double Standard

[Tmymaimee]

What I don't get is how TV posters can generalize so much about a large group of people. I see many, many Thai girls who choose to not have children and choose to marry later in life as they are focussed on their career. This discussion about a kiss or having sex leading to a payment for sin sot might occur at a very local level but I see many high end Thai girls clubbing in Bangkok every weekend and basically looking for well-off Thai men. Are we talking about the scraps and cast offs from Isaan or the girls that are actually attractive and for whom the majority of guys are attracted to?

[PaulHamon]

I just wanted to bring this to your attention that foreigners/farangs are being treated differently compared to Thai men.

They're not treated different, the two different groups act differently in response, the same pressures exists.

[ultimate weapon]

Their girl is already wasted with foreign blood.

I read here a police telling a poster's wife she would not be thai anymore after being with a Farang

why ad shame to destitution ?

I don't get this hatred i mean dislike of foreign ppl culture especially farang and then thailand has so many farang.

[wym]

What I don't get is how TV posters can generalize so much about a large group of people. I see many, many Thai girls who choose to not have children and choose to marry later in life as they are focussed on their career. This discussion about a kiss or having sex leading to a payment for sin sot might occur at a very local level but I see many high end Thai girls clubbing in Bangkok every weekend and basically looking for well-off Thai men. Are we talking about the scraps and cast offs from Isaan or the girls that are actually attractive and for whom the majority of guys are attracted to?

I thought I was clear I was talking about poor upcountry village society, which is by far the vast majority, hence normal Thais.

You are referring to a very small elite group mostly in/from Bangkok. Personally I have no desire to interact with them except as customers, the country people are much better people and the girls more attractive - to me. I would never consider a GF that spoke any English or had any interest in a career.

That's what makes the world go round, great that we're not all competing for the same girls.

[somchaismith]

So, the OP's trying to tell us that all the BGs with kids, which is most of them, are married, on paper...lmao.

[somchaismith]

The only reason that they want you married is to extract a dowry from the naive.

[wym]

The only reason that they want you married is to extract a dowry from the naive.

Many families give back part (often most) of the sin sot to the couple after the ceremony.

Many just want to see their daughter happily settled down and well supported, don't look for anything for themselves.

I always give a fixed allowance to the SO that includes money that she can choose to send home every month or not. I also set aside secretly a monthly amount into a contingency fund that I budget for family emergencies. If there none after a period of time, that's a source for randomly-timed gifts when things are going well.

Works for me. As long as you've removed her from the family in setting up your own (which is what the sin sot is paying for) then if there's any major problems from them you just cut them off. I've never had an SO side with her family against me, if you get that you've definitely screwed up somewhere along the way, most likely in your choice of mate in the first place, time to cut your losses and walk away.

[wym]

So, the OP's trying to tell us that all the BGs with kids, which is most of them, are married, on paper...lmao.

Where did you get that idea from, I don't see it?

[Kangawallafox]

The only reason that they want you married is to extract a dowry from the naive.

Many families give back part (often most) of the sin sot to the couple after the ceremony.

Many just want to see their daughter happily settled down and well supported, don't look for anything for themselves.

I always give a fixed allowance to the SO that includes money that she can choose to send home every month or not. I also set aside secretly a monthly amount into a contingency fund that I budget for family emergencies. If there none after a period of time, that's a source for randomly-timed gifts when things are going well.

Works for me. As long as you've removed her from the family in setting up your own (which is what the sin sot is paying for) then if there's any major problems from them you just cut them off. I've never had an SO side with her family against me, if you get that you've definitely screwed up somewhere along the way, most likely in your choice of mate in the first place, time to cut your losses and walk away.

True, my sin sod sot was returned, and I was given a gold Buddha by her father that was worth more then her ring.

Honestly glad it was returned as I don't have a lot of cash,lol.

The gold Buddha was a beautiful gesture and means a lot.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[somchaismith]

So, the OP's trying to tell us that all the BGs with kids, which is most of them, are married, on paper...lmao.

Where did you get that idea from, I don't see it?

Yeah, Pattaya doesn't exist either.

[somchaismith]

So your spouse previously had a Thai male partner who it was okay, with her olds, to live in a defacto relationship with? With all due respect, were not straying from the topic, are we?

The only reason that they want you married is to extract a dowry from the naive.

Many families give back part (often most) of the sin sot to the couple after the ceremony.

Many just want to see their daughter happily settled down and well supported, don't look for anything for themselves.

I always give a fixed allowance to the SO that includes money that she can choose to send home every month or not. I also set aside secretly a monthly amount into a contingency fund that I budget for family emergencies. If there none after a period of time, that's a source for randomly-timed gifts when things are going well.

Works for me. As long as you've removed her from the family in setting up your own (which is what the sin sot is paying for) then if there's any major problems from them you just cut them off. I've never had an SO side with her family against me, if you get that you've definitely screwed up somewhere along the way, most likely in your choice of mate in the first place, time to cut your losses and walk away.

True, my sin sod sot was returned, and I was given a gold Buddha by her father that was worth more then her ring.

Honestly glad it was returned as I don't have a lot of cash,lol.

The gold Buddha was a beautiful gesture and means a lot.


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[somchaismith]

The only reason that they want you married is to extract a dowry from the naive.

Many families give back part (often most) of the sin sot to the couple after the ceremony.

Many just want to see their daughter happily settled down and well supported, don't look for anything for themselves.

I always give a fixed allowance to the SO that includes money that she can choose to send home every month or not. I also set aside secretly a monthly amount into a contingency fund that I budget for family emergencies. If there none after a period of time, that's a source for randomly-timed gifts when things are going well.

Works for me. As long as you've removed her from the family in setting up your own (which is what the sin sot is paying for) then if there's any major problems from them you just cut them off. I've never had an SO side with her family against me, if you get that you've definitely screwed up somewhere along the way, most likely in your choice of mate in the first place, time to cut your losses and walk away.

Mate, I cannot see that buying women that is, giving them money, is anyway to conduct a lasting genuine relationship.

[wym]

Who are you to say what is "genuine"?

And they last as long as they last, we get what we want from each other then move on, no one's harmed, who are you to judge?

Not like fat old guys have a lot of choice if they want the young hotties anyway right?

[somchaismith]

^Why would an old guy need a marriage certificate, for what you described, then? Getting married with the attitude of "we get what we want from each other then move on" is not a genuine relationship, in the terms of marriage. Just a weak attemt to legitimize dosh changing hands.

Edited January 16, 2014 by somchaismith

[Kangawallafox]

So your spouse previously had a Thai male partner who it was okay, with her olds, to live in a defacto relationship with? With all due respect, were not straying from the topic, are we?

The only reason that they want you married is to extract a dowry from the naive.

Many families give back part (often most) of the sin sot to the couple after the ceremony.

Many just want to see their daughter happily settled down and well supported, don't look for anything for themselves.

I always give a fixed allowance to the SO that includes money that she can choose to send home every month or not. I also set aside secretly a monthly amount into a contingency fund that I budget for family emergencies. If there none after a period of time, that's a source for randomly-timed gifts when things are going well.

Works for me. As long as you've removed her from the family in setting up your own (which is what the sin sot is paying for) then if there's any major problems from them you just cut them off. I've never had an SO side with her family against me, if you get that you've definitely screwed up somewhere along the way, most likely in your choice of mate in the first place, time to cut your losses and walk away.

True, my sin sod sot was returned, and I was given a gold Buddha by her father that was worth more then her ring.

Honestly glad it was returned as I don't have a lot of cash,lol.

The gold Buddha was a beautiful gesture and means a lot.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Are you asking me,did my wife live with a thai man.

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[ntg187]

Because farang don't bend to the pressure of family (theirs or others), or at least not the the same extent as Thais do.

That's my feelings anyway...

My wife's parents wanted us/me to do all these things, but they never happened.

~ I don't wai people I don't know, respect is earned not given.

~ I didn't marry her before we went overseas together for 18 months.

~ I didn't buy my wife from their family, or however others see it.

I'm sure a Thai male would have done all of these things to make sure the family accepted him.

Paul

The argument 'Respect is earned no given' is the gate by which we exclude others from opportunities in this life.

[wym]

And again, your view of "genuine" marriage differs from mine, that's all

I have no idea why you're so fixated on the legal registration aspect, keep telling you that's not in any way needed to get married in Thailand unless you've got financial/legal reasons to do so.

Very few marriages these days are lifelong, I've had some last over ten years and some for only a few, doesn't make them any less marriages.

So you end up with three or four, eight or nine in a lifetime, why not? Movie stars can do it why not the rest of us?

I suppose you think an open marriage where it's OK to have casual partners also isn't "genuine".

Is gay marriage "genuine" in your opinion?

Actually who cares, live and let live!

[somchaismith]

, you sound like a vampire or at least a reincarnation of one.

[jacko45k]

Seems like a naive question to me.

Why on earth would Thai parents not expect a Thai man to marry their daughter and accede to their culture and tradition.

For the farang, they would perhaps see more of an opportunity for their daughter and be more tolerant of his rejection of it.

Edited January 16, 2014 by jacko45k

[charmonman]

Your asking us farang about thai parents. Sorry, I never had thai parents however I do know this, I was not allowed to bang my wife until we were married, not with her parents knowledge anyway so it was sneaking around for us as we were getting married anyway Not all parents allow the daughters to bed farang, I guess it would depend on the parents and their lack of morals that probably rub off on the children, don't you know any girls whose parents don't allow it,lol. Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

I like the adjective "Bang". alt=blink.png pagespeed_url_hash=3007605675 width=20 height=20>

Actually, it is being used as a verb here, not an adjective.

[iJustWanttoKnow]

"bang" adjective?

in this case "bang" is used as a verb.

adjective - describes a noun

verb - expresses action

noun - person, place, object or idea

[Somsrisonphimai]

I believe that they like the foreigner in their family. It somehow makes a difference in their eyes and maybe the perception of their status. My girlfriends mother and family love showing off my little baby girl. Somehow they feel higher in status. They never, never question anything I do. It seems I can do no wrong in their eyes because now they have a Falang baby and father. At least that's my situation here in the LOS.

I know, the girl's parents treat farang son-in-law better than Thai son-in-law.

[Somsrisonphimai]

Based on the reponses, I councluded that the girl's parents are very fond of foreigners/farangs because they bring them financially sounds, higher status,better life style and the cutest grandbaby.

[YesWeCan]

Money?

[Berkshire]

Based on the reponses, I councluded that the girl's parents are very fond of foreigners/farangs because they bring them financially sounds, higher status,better life style and the cutest grandbaby.

So your conclusions on what Thai parents think are based entirely on the comments of farangs, trying to explain the attitude of said parents, with zero inputs from the actual parents themselves? Well that's real scientific....

[Somsrisonphimai]

Money?

Not exactly, I have seen more of foreigners who are blue collar workers and do not have a lot of money than white collar workers married to Thais. Its just that there is something about farangs that Thais are very fond off, money or not. I cannot point out exactly what it is, it seemed Thais are facinated by foreigners and vice versa faragns men are filled with infatuation for Thai women.

[Somsrisonphimai]

Based on the reponses, I councluded that the girl's parents are very fond of foreigners/farangs because they bring them financially sounds, higher status,better life style and the cutest grandbaby.

So your conclusions on what Thai parents think are based entirely on the comments of farangs, trying to explain the attitude of said parents, with zero inputs from the actual parents themselves? Well that's real scientific....

Then could you please explain one more time to what should I take away from this discussion so that I can close out this thread?

Edited January 17, 2014 by Somsrisonphimai

[ravip]

I did not bother to read all the posts - but Thai parents should be very happy if farangs lived with their children.

They are stupid to oppose... After all, it is a farang.

[wym]

Money?

Not exactly, I have seen more of foreigners who are blue collar workers and do not have a lot of money than white collar workers married to Thais. Its just that there is something about farangs that Thais are very fond off, money or not. I cannot point out exactly what it is, it seemed Thais are facinated by foreigners and vice versa faragns men are filled with infatuation for Thai women.

Only a small segment of the worldwide farang male population has "gone bamboo", have a strong preference in some cases an exclusive fixation on being attracted to (in some cases a specific type of) Asian physiognomy.

However that's probably the case for most here with Thai partners, so to a local it would seem more generally true.

Going the other way, I'd say the fact that historically only wealthy high-status people could travel globally, has left over into modern times - where that is no longer true - the reputation of farang being relatively well off.

Combined of course with the fact that not too many decades ago Thailand was relatively poor.

Plus the fact that many foreigners spend a lot of money while visiting Thailand, much more than they could afford to do the rest of the year back home.

It's a relative thing - to the extent a Thai is wealthy and sophisticated they will understand that most farang now coming here aren't well off. A poor Thai will consider even a western factory worker to be relatively wealthy.

Since most farang here end up courting poor upcountry girls, it remains the case that parents perceive most farang as offering relative financial security for their daughter's future.

And of course some of them are just scamming for short-term gain, pretending her husband and children are cousins.

[Somsrisonphimai]

I did not bother to read all the posts - but Thai parents should be very happy if farangs lived with their children.

They are stupid to oppose... After all, it is a farang.

alt=wai2.gif pagespeed_url_hash=1722055545>

Then they failed as a parent.