My girlfriend just left me!

[thailiketoo]

Delusion is bad. Guys make bad decisions based on fantasy! Decisions become much better wo the rose colored glasses on.

Nothing wrong with paying for a girl -just dont call her you gf!

I agree. We all call them wives. Or in the case of a second, mia noi.

Us old guys can't afford the giks.

Edited January 30, 2014 by thailiketoo

[kirstymelb101]

Most girl are not for sale! But dont blame the old man for finding you attractive................lol. It is thailand. And it really is different here, re girls.

Yup! I told him I wanted to end the conversation but he kept on pestering me, it's obvious he just wants my attention. I feel flattered..................... NOT!

[billSMITH]

Most girl are not for sale! But dont blame the old man for finding you attractive................lol. It is thailand. And it really is different here, re girls.

Yup! I told him I wanted to end the conversation but he kept on pestering me, it's obvious he just wants my attention. I feel flattered..................... NOT!

Can you give description of guy............was he old , bald, fat, smelly, no hair, wear tank top and sandals? i think i know him...............................................lol.

[robblok]

Most girl are not for sale! But dont blame the old man for finding you attractive................lol. It is thailand. And it really is different here, re girls.

Yup! I told him I wanted to end the conversation but he kept on pestering me, it's obvious he just wants my attention. I feel flattered..................... NOT!

Its sad that the guys think like this they obviously don't get around enough. There are plenty of girls who are not for sale or at least they can't afford them. (even i might be for sale for a obscene high price and that means the same as not for sale)

Guys thinking that like that Probably all live in Pattaya and near the bars.

[thailiketoo]

Most girl are not for sale! But dont blame the old man for finding you attractive................lol. It is thailand. And it really is different here, re girls.

Yup! I told him I wanted to end the conversation but he kept on pestering me, it's obvious he just wants my attention. I feel flattered..................... NOT!

You sound like a Western woman. I think that is normal in the West. Even looking at a woman is considered out of place in some places. I would never talk to a woman I didn't know at the mall in the West. I'd get arrested. I was at the mall a couple of days ago here and didn't want to eat at MacDonalds alone so I asked three Thai women who were shopping and we all had lunch together. Two were teachers and the third an administrator. I'm polite and well dressed and my Thai is OK but not great.

Edited January 30, 2014 by thailiketoo

[robblok]

Most of you guys seem to love to live in a bubble, renting girls and calling them GF's.

That being said if i had such an arrangement with a hot girl when i am say 60 or so i would not call her a gf or expect her to love me and stuff. She would just be someone i pay to stay with me knowing if it was not for the money she would be gone. I would do my best to protect my money then because i know that is what she wants and not me. I would not delude myself and look at it any other way.

I would just enjoy it but not fool myself, that is my whole point.

Tough luck for your ego's guys be honest with it.

Speaking for myself, no one's deluded, yes assets protected, having plenty of fun thanks very much.

Nothing wrong with "girlfriend" though, nor "wife" when it comes to that, the very very high percentages of relationships all over the world and throughout history based on business/money didn't use a different vocabulary.

In fact I reckon safe to say romantic "love" as the only acceptable basis for mate selection would be a small fraction of the total relatively recent and rare from that POV.

Ow gawd.. equating paying your share after a divorce to paying for sex and renting a girl by paying her a monthly salary.

---------

If you look at it like that then I have paid for it too as I have had a divorce when i was 29 that cost me money.

Yes you did. Was it good value for the money, to the point you'd go back and do it again?

For 97+% of my relationships "yes" and "yes I would in a flash".

I understand what you are saying.. and as long as the guys acknowledge they are paying for its ok. But they should not think everyone is because that is not true.

And about that relation.. that i paid for after divorce.. no never ever not worth it (maybe the first year)

[wym]

But everyone DOES pay for "it"

just define "it" differently.

and some (IMO very few) just in time sweat heartache

But who cares as long as it's worth the price in the end

[Spaniel]

10,000 a month was a bargain I would say. Now I will raise her "allowance" to 13,000 per month. Still a bargain. Yeah, no money no honey. I know that. Most of us men must pay for the partner one way or the other.

Are there any men out there that get all of what I get for free? You guys are studs and kudos to you!

Not ever Thai girl is after money believe it or not.

It seems to me you lack self confidence. Instead try and do some real soul searching instead of ATM card withdrawals, you may actually find a loyal Thai girl who is genuine and values your time.

I think about 95% of Thai ladies are looking for money. Self confidence has nothing to do with trying to get what I want at a bargain price. My ex wife got money too . In USA .

Do you get or give for free?

If you think 95% of Thai ladies are looking for money then you are probably hanging around with the wrong crowd. Suggest that you get away from the bar scene for a while and try to hang out with normal people, then you may change your opinion.

[thailiketoo]

But everyone DOES pay for "it"

just define "it" differently.

and some (IMO very few) just in time sweat heartache

But who cares as long as it's worth the price in the end

Sure everyone pays for it. Momma is the only woman that will ever love you. I know that and every other reasonable man knows that. Mr Muscle has a lot in common with the old guys. He thinks there is a woman out there besides mom who really loves him as do many of the old guys. The only difference is age the mindset is the same.

[robblok]

But everyone DOES pay for "it"

just define "it" differently.

and some (IMO very few) just in time sweat heartache

But who cares as long as it's worth the price in the end

Sure everyone pays for it. Momma is the only woman that will ever love you. I know that and every other reasonable man knows that. Mr Muscle has a lot in common with the old guys. He thinks there is a woman out there besides mom who really loves him as do many of the old guys. The only difference is age the mindset is the same.

Thanks for the compliment. Not everyone pays there are even guys that get paid. I know of a few guys doing sponsor girls when the old wreck isnt around.

Done the same in the past so it happens and these guys get presents the old guy is paying for.

so gone is your argument have fun believing.

Im sure guys like you are scared of girls with a good job who pay their way as your money wont influence her and you can get rejected.

Keep on paying while she showers her younger lover with presents you paid for.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[thailiketoo]

But everyone DOES pay for "it"

just define "it" differently.

and some (IMO very few) just in time sweat heartache

But who cares as long as it's worth the price in the end

Sure everyone pays for it. Momma is the only woman that will ever love you. I know that and every other reasonable man knows that. Mr Muscle has a lot in common with the old guys. He thinks there is a woman out there besides mom who really loves him as do many of the old guys. The only difference is age the mindset is the same.

Thanks for the compliment. Not everyone pays there are even guys that get paid. I know of a few guys doing sponsor girls when the old wreck isnt around.

Done the same in the past so it happens and these guys get presents the old guy is paying for.

so gone is your argument have fun believing.

Im sure guys like you are scared of girls with a good job who pay their way as your money wont influence her and you can get rejected.

Keep on paying while she showers her younger lover with presents you paid for.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Guys like me eh? My wife is a supervisor in a male dominated business with both Thai and Farang men working for her. She is 30 years my junior and very much the boss at work. She has a personality like a Gunnery Sergeant at work. I don't know who pays more me or you. I do know we both pay.

Now accusing my wife of being unfaithful is just so, Thai Visa ish, isn't it. Grow up kid.

[robblok]

But everyone DOES pay for "it"

just define "it" differently.

and some (IMO very few) just in time sweat heartache

But who cares as long as it's worth the price in the end

Agree but i was talking money not time abd sweat. Though unlike you i dont think its rare.

I know of a guy whos gf pays it all and lets him live in. Yes a thai girl with good income. 60k a month (goos for a Thai) Jap / Thai translator.

But sure he pays by keeping her happy. But i dont see that as the pure financial thing we discussed here.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[metisdead]

A profanity post has been removed.

[FiftyTwo]

But everyone DOES pay for "it"

just define "it" differently.

and some (IMO very few) just in time sweat heartache

But who cares as long as it's worth the price in the end

Agree but i was talking money not time abd sweat. Though unlike you i dont think its rare.

I know of a guy whos gf pays it all and lets him live in. Yes a thai girl with good income. 60k a month (goos for a Thai) Jap / Thai translator.

But sure he pays by keeping her happy. But i dont see that as the pure financial thing we discussed here.

Yes Robblok, we all know of a guy who gets paid, but that guy is never us.

I'm happy enough paying playing the hand I'm delt.

[FiftyTwo]

39 is not old.

It's so old, in the west you would be finished.

Finished as a potential lover.

Finished as a desirable employee.

Unless you owned your own company or were a millionaire, your life would be effectively over.

[FiftyTwo]

Mel isnt handsome. He knows it. We chatted the other day!

OK white guys are sickly looking I'll grant you that but me and Micheal Jordan are tight. I asked him a few years ago if he felt he was paying for Juanita his wife to stay with him? He said no, of course not she stays with me cause I have a ripped body and am handsome as heck. Then after the divorce I asked him with a smile, "Mike how much did you end up paying for Juanita?" He told me, " hundred and sixty eight mil, bro"

My pal Tiger also paid for it, with all the girls, but he paid his former wife the most.

Even Thai guys pay.

[robblok]

But everyone DOES pay for "it"

just define "it" differently.

and some (IMO very few) just in time sweat heartache

But who cares as long as it's worth the price in the end

Agree but i was talking money not time abd sweat. Though unlike you i dont think its rare.

I know of a guy whos gf pays it all and lets him live in. Yes a thai girl with good income. 60k a month (goos for a Thai) Jap / Thai translator.

But sure he pays by keeping her happy. But i dont see that as the pure financial thing we discussed here.

Yes Robblok, we all know of a guy who gets paid, but that guy is never us.

I'm happy enough paying playing the hand I'm delt.

Actually.. i have been that guy with some girl.. getting my food paid an all. Definitely not paying like you guys at least not financially and sure the girl was not a super model. What you are basically saying is because it does not happen to you it can't happen to someone else.

I was not that guy in the other story, and other friend of mine lives in Pattaya.. looks good and has a lot of fun with sponsored girls when the guys are gone.. Makes a bit of a sport of it. So it happens that it does not happen with you that is ok Tommo.

And the bag on head remark.. i agree the first picture that i look good on especially when in a stupid pose has yet to be made. I am not to bad r/t but no super model.

But told you before that if i had to pay I would not mind but I would not call it a GF. There is nothing wrong with paying for it.. just with pretending its anything else as paid for.

[thailiketoo]

Actually.. i have been that guy with some girl.. getting my food paid an all. Definitely not paying like you guys at least not financially and sure the girl was not a super model. What you are basically saying is because it does not happen to you it can't happen to someone else.

I was not that guy in the other story, and other friend of mine lives in Pattaya.. looks good and has a lot of fun with sponsored girls when the guys are gone.. Makes a bit of a sport of it. So it happens that it does not happen with you that is ok Tommo.

And the bag on head remark.. i agree the first picture that i look good on especially when in a stupid pose has yet to be made. I am not to bad r/t but no super model.

But told you before that if i had to pay I would not mind but I would not call it a GF. There is nothing wrong with paying for it.. just with pretending its anything else as paid for.

That is what everyone is trying to tell you. Stop deluding yourself into thinking you are somehow better than the rest of us. All of the guys who have posted and posted about recently realize they pay for it including Tiger Woods and Micheal Jordan. You are the only one laboring under the misconception that somehow you are different. We know, we know. It's OK. Don't worry about it everyone does the same thing. Even the Lone Ranger paid for Tonto.

Edited January 30, 2014 by thailiketoo

[FiftyTwo]

But told you before that if i had to pay I would not mind but I would not call it a GF. There is nothing wrong with paying for it.. just with pretending its anything else as paid for.

Paid for my wife in the UK (expenses all in plus lay away payment plan) had 4 kids with her.

Paid for my wife in Thailand (cash and carry plus ongoing expenses) had more kids with her (not finished yet).

Not sure what I should call them now?

And if you have suggestions, make sure it would be acceptable to the children when I refer to her please.

[FiftyTwo]

Actually.. i have been that guy with some girl.. getting my food paid an all. Definitely not paying like you guys at least not financially and sure the girl was not a super model. What you are basically saying is because it does not happen to you it can't happen to someone else.

I was not that guy in the other story, and other friend of mine lives in Pattaya.. looks good and has a lot of fun with sponsored girls when the guys are gone.. Makes a bit of a sport of it. So it happens that it does not happen with you that is ok Tommo.

And the bag on head remark.. i agree the first picture that i look good on especially when in a stupid pose has yet to be made. I am not to bad r/t but no super model.

But told you before that if i had to pay I would not mind but I would not call it a GF. There is nothing wrong with paying for it.. just with pretending its anything else as paid for.

Oh yeah,

Your Oz photos, basically you were an ugly fat pudding (sorry), can't believe you were paid then.

Your Thai bodybuilder photos, nice bod, but too old and ugly, still can't believe you have been paid.

Your claims just aren't credible from the photo evidence you provided.

Not trying to insult you or anything, I'm not a supermodel, but at nearly 60 I'm still not as low down the ladder as you. My body is just as good as yours, but I'm much better looking (not so muscle bound, runner not lifter).

Yeah,I get the occasional free one offered too, but it's not regular, and it ain't gonna ever be a relationship.

[wym]

Well that sure took a turn downhill.

[Showbags]

Would you let your wife/gf have sex (if she was agreeable) with another man for 1m$?

As per "Indecent Proposal".....

I can't even think about that....*shivers*

Do I get half...

[Showbags]

Actually.. i have been that guy with some girl.. getting my food paid an all. Definitely not paying like you guys at least not financially and sure the girl was not a super model. What you are basically saying is because it does not happen to you it can't happen to someone else.

I was not that guy in the other story, and other friend of mine lives in Pattaya.. looks good and has a lot of fun with sponsored girls when the guys are gone.. Makes a bit of a sport of it. So it happens that it does not happen with you that is ok Tommo.

And the bag on head remark.. i agree the first picture that i look good on especially when in a stupid pose has yet to be made. I am not to bad r/t but no super model.

But told you before that if i had to pay I would not mind but I would not call it a GF. There is nothing wrong with paying for it.. just with pretending its anything else as paid for.

Oh yeah,

Your Oz photos, basically you were an ugly fat pudding (sorry), can't believe you were paid then.

Your Thai bodybuilder photos, nice bod, but too old and ugly, still can't believe you have been paid.

Your claims just aren't credible from the photo evidence you provided.

Not trying to insult you or anything, I'm not a supermodel, but at nearly 60 I'm still not as low down the ladder as you. My body is just as good as yours, but I'm much better looking (not so muscle bound, runner not lifter).

Yeah,I get the occasional free one offered too, but it's not regular, and it ain't gonna ever be a relationship.

You need to work on that aspect.

[faraday]

But at what point does finance in a relationship become 'paying for it'? When I was married I paid the bills & the ex looked after the house...well sort of.

So, does that mean - in the sense that is being discussed, that I was paying for it. "It" being the relationship.

The obvious answer is no, as in a healthy relationship, as I said before, you both do what you can to support things.

Then the question is of "Trophy Wife"....is that defined as 'paying for it' as the man wants a 'perfect wife' & she wants a lifestyle. So, then love most likely would be absent.

Does is all come down to love? Or something else......

[Wavnarok]

The OP must be a young Buck that hasn't learned life's secretes. He's also easily pussy whipped. Take the advice from this old fart and move in. Literally! Find a new place in town or some other town. Change your phone number too. Then relax awhile and just enjoy the company of an occasional "GiK". Don't get too involved with anyone. And you DON'T need to pay HER Bills either. There are simply too many lady's in Thailand so just relax and look elsewhere. You'll be fine.

I buy this one , best advise !

[wym]

But at what point does finance in a relationship become 'paying for it'? When I was married I paid the bills & the ex looked after the house...well sort of.

So, does that mean - in the sense that is being discussed, that I was paying for it. "It" being the relationship.

The obvious answer is no, as in a healthy relationship, as I said before, you both do what you can to support things.

Then the question is of "Trophy Wife"....is that defined as 'paying for it' as the man wants a 'perfect wife' & she wants a lifestyle. So, then love most likely would be absent.

Does is all come down to love? Or something else......

I don't get this "healthy relationship" equating to "the way I think a marriage should be" or "the way my parents or Disney Inc taught me relationships should be".

Honesty, respect, consideration & caring sure.

When deceit fraud larceny come into it obviously it's a bad one.

"Love" is too nebulous a term, dozens of meanings and shades, most people seem to think the most important aspect is the temporary insanity driven by hormonal & pheromone-driven biological imperative to reproduce.

Very pleasant feelings to be sure but not the basis for a long-term healthy relationship.

As to what the original motives were for people getting together, not all that relevant, it's what the two of them make of it as they get to know each other over the years.

What the household financial arrangements might be is just not relevant.

[Lammbock]

My girlfriend just left me!

...and I just left my GF! Cheers!

[faraday]

Hmmm I can assure you that I do not have any such Disney ideals....quite an odd thing to mention. But as for 'parents' then we all have been influenced of course. Rightly or wrongly.

I thought your explanation of what love may or may not be, quite entertaining. Do you doubt the existence of love? I don't mean the hearts & flowers kind either.

The household arrangements are what is being discussed in this thread..surely?

[wym]

Hmmm I can assure you that I do not have any such Disney ideals....quite an odd thing to mention. But as for 'parents' then we all have been influenced of course. Rightly or wrongly.

That's my shorthand for people thinking the only "healthy" relationship is along the lines of mainstream monogamy 'til death do us part without "love" it's not "real".

Say I go down to Soi Cowboy and chat with the girls, find one I like and she seems to be OK with me, I offer her say 12K THB per month to come live with me and look after my kids, she says OK.

Six months later I'm averaging say B20K all up in expenses on her, not much drama, the kids love her, she's taking care of my needs very nicely everyone's happy.

She knows I go out and take other girls ST, I know about her Thai BF and a few special farang customers that gives her a bunch of extra money.

Maybe five years down the road we're together, maybe not. Irrelevant, we're both getting what we want form each other, mutual honest, respect and consideration, maybe even some "love" sneaking in around the edges over time.

Who is anyone else to say what we've got isn't "healthy" or "real".

I fully concede the odds of such a nice result are reduced given the initial scenario, and of course that's not how/where I actually seek my bedmates, but just to keep things normal for most TVers here painted worst-case scenario.

I thought your explanation of what love may or may not be, quite entertaining. Do you doubt the existence of love? I don't mean the hearts & flowers kind either.

Of course there's "I love going to the beach".

How I love my children and my mum.

That overwhelming feeling that comes at the beginning of a romantic relationship - I guess that's your heart and flowers right?

To me, the most meaningful I've found is from The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, and it's from a spiritual (not religious) POV. First of all it's not a noun, it's not a feeling.

It is work, active efforts, time and energy spent furthering the well-being of the other - especially emotional/psychological/spiritual aspects rather than just pleasing them "making them happy" in the sense of giving in to their demands for what they think they want. It requires maturity, strength, discipline.

Love isnt a feeling; love is a verb; love is as love does and not as love says (love isnt what we say, its what we repeatedly show and do); love is about giving; love is patient, love is kind, love isnt petty and resentful; love is in it for the long haul, love is about overcoming or outgrowing whats weakest and worst in ourselves, love is about growing up and maturing psychologically and spiritually and acting in ways that promote that type of growth in oneself and ones partner, et cetera.

Other texts that explore the topic in ways that resonate with me include

The Art of Loving (Eric Fromm)

Mere Christianity and The Four Loves (C. S. Lewis)

Rilkes letters on love

Marianne Williamsons book A Return to Love

and various writings by Rumi, St. Paul, St. John, Merton, Krishnamurti, Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Thich Nhat Hahn, Thoreau, Gibran (The Prophet), Roberta Gilbert, Jacob Needleman, David Schnarch (Passionate Marriage), Gary Chapman (The Five Love Languages), and Stephen Covey.

The household arrangements are what is being discussed in this thread..surely?

Yes, and my point is that real love (see above) can flower within a relationship that starts from any sort of beginning context, including that between a sex worker and her client, including between people decades apart in age from different cultures, language barriers, differences in wealth and education.

Pigeonholing people's relationships based on statistical generalizations, especially on such a petty factor as to how a couple chooses to set up their money arrangements is just ridiculous.

Edited January 30, 2014 by wym

[faraday]

Ok...you've made some very good points....& some not good ones, but that's all subjective of course.

I think that Love is a verb...it's about what you do...& not so much about what you say.

Too tired to post anymore tonight....sleep good.