Keeping The Power In Thai/farang Relationship.

[Eurod]

I know someone who dole's money out to his wife every day as she just doesn't have the capability to manage more than a day at a time.

I know quite a few that do this. Most the man doles it out but a couple where the women do.

I'd say for many Thai/farang erlationships this is a very good plan.

I dole out money to my wife weekly.

Most Thais(the stingy Chinese not included) are terrible at budgeting.

seems they are terrible at anything which requires planning ( Its also one of The Buddha's bits of advice, basically saying forget yesterday and don't worry about tomorrow)

.. except murdering a wealthy spouse of course..

my advice ( not Buddhas this time)

1 " never (ever) trust a hooker

2 Once a hooker, always a hooker

3 Up to you ( Bargirls advice)

[Colabamumbai]

Neranam you are exactly correct. Do not invest in anything or any woman for many years. You have everything to lose and what do you gain, sex with a younger woman?

[Loz]

Trust but verify.

If you have an unusual looking relationship, you might think it prudent to have unusual rules. Before I came to Thailand I never heard of people giving their wife a salary. But it seems "normal" here.

I think, if you can't trust your wife with your bank accounts, what business do you have trusting her with your heart. But maybe I am an old romantic.

because I believe in partnership and equality I would not want a life partner that needed me to pay her a salary. And if she had all the money in the world, I would not want a salary from her either.

If you need to control your wife's spending, chances are you have married so far beneath you that, to everyone who knows you in your former life, you become a joke and a cautionary tale.

I have also observed that Many Thai ladies married to Thai men have control of the household income in much the same way as My Grandma used to take all the money (they both worked) and give my grandad his spending money (which ironically he gambled mostly!) and she took care of the household budget. albeit 60 odd years ago, it worked there and then. It seems to work for thais here and now. If this is the model they are raised with, it explains why they want you to trust them with the money. The good ones that is.

For me, I prefer hookers. They are more honest about the price.

edited for spelllling errrers

Edited February 2, 2010 by Loz

[Samuian]

well, well, well... what escapes my wildest imagination is the fact why marry in the first place - isn't it the major control over each other!

why by/build a house in someones name - if "I/you" have to pay for it!?

Where is common sense gone?

It's the ultimate hook, the ultimate tool which will be a big piece of bait and very difficult to ignore, a grand challenge for many simple souls, who never owned more then the mat they have been sleeping on and a few pieces of clothing...

someone out there who want's to buy me a house - I would like one for free too, big hearts WELCOME! - ah' well must say can't supply any anticipated services in regards to the "gift" - but promise to love the donor ALL THEIR LIFETIME! - which then wouldn't be a gift, would it?

[dmax]

Sounds like another guy who rushed into both the relationship, and buying the house. Why he didn't own the house and lease the land from her is something only he knows. How long were they together before they married?

They met on the internet and were married 1 month after meeting in person. Their marriage could have had a chance, IMO, if he had just rented and wasn't such a woose.

You need to know your gf properly before making her your wife.

Thats where alot of people make there mistakes, getting married within 6 months or less will be maximising this risk.

I say you need to be with them for 4 or 5 years to actually know the girl, live with her for that time and then if your confident then buy a house.

Common sense, because rushing into things is like buying a house with a stranger that you dont really know yet

I agree Donz, there are lots who jump in too quickly and are taking a really big gamble.

Depends Neeranam. I've seen relationships where the woman is definitely the boss. But, you do have a point here, many (but not all) Thai-Thai relationships are based on one person being in power and in control. I find it very sad that people can't respect each others opinions and listen to what that person has to say without feeling the need to assert control.

Sure SBK, but the woman who is in control probably comes from a family where the mother had some control and knew how to use it. The problem I see is when the woman who has no idea how to use the control(has never been taught) gets more control than she ever thought possible. I know one real lo-so woman who drive around in a 5 million baht merc. Sons are studying in Uk after an international education. Guess what, the father, a good friend of mine, left - the relationship went bad about 15 years ago.

I have control of lack of finances in our household. My wife has control of things in the house.

As for our daughter, we have equal lack of control. I have tried to control my wife in the past but learned painfully - I cannot control other people.

tut tut tut , they met on the internet, been with her 1 month, what else do these fools expect ? never ceases to amaze me