Brainwashed

[MRGTINGTONG]

If her father doesn't think losing 6 million is a big deal then 200k is peanuts

[dotpoom]

How many people have lost their loved ones to "Cults". Isn't that a Western thing and nothing to do with Thai superstitions, There have been many programs about how it is virtually impossible to get them back once they have been indoctrinated. It's so serious and thankfully she has a loving husband and family to try and protect her. Stick with it.

[brianP]

You can use these myriad beliefs to your advantage. By interjecting symbols and numbers and animals and other conceptions of their relevance, you can be the manipulator of this behavior.

[h90]

your wife wasnt brainwashed, she was conned by someone that plays on the fears of many thai people which is the chat paan chat nee chat na (past life this life future life).... since they believe in past lives, then this is just a play ont he beliefs.

brain washing is something that is done over time, like, most main religiouns practice, or even on my kibbutz for instance ... for good things and bad things.

your wife is jsut maybe innocent, or different level of intelligence, or different level of education and thought, and so believed this guy.

its not a psychiatric problem

the same reason people play lottery, or pray to saints or donate large amounts to various 'organizations ' that are canvassed over the phone....

I don't know what is the difference between brainwashed and simply conned. This part with the meditation, sounds like brainwashing. And of course it works easier if the base belief is there already.

Yes no psychiatric problem....enough people transfer money to Nigeria (don't want to bash Nigeria, there are other countries, just Nigeria is the best known), to help their future husband which she has never seen before, to get millions from the former prince of whatever, latest is to buy a lovely cat and people transfer up to 20.000 Euro for the cat from Nigeria.....

[Mrjlh]

Didn't you say "she transfer money to HIS account"? Well???? You have his account number and the branch he uses. That's a start isn't it?

[bender92]

In order to be brainwashed, you first need a brain!

[bender92]

Didn't you say "she transfer money to HIS account"? Well???? You have his account number and the branch he uses. That's a start isn't it?

That account is probably closed. The bank might know his real name but will they release it?

[mogo51]

If you are genuinely afraid that your wife will hurt herself when she realises that she has been conned, then I suggest you ask her parents what they advise.Are all the old Farangs who have lost their life savings to a pretty young Thai girl mentally ill, or would you describe them differently? I certainly would not describe the old Farangs as brainwashed - just conned.

We may both be jumping to conclusions, but I suspect you are right - just conned. When 50 and 70 year olds find a 20 plus year old on their arm, they actually believe that said female loves them!!! Notwithstanding that the last bride they had was 60 fat and ugly and always had a headache!!!!

[chappie1207]

Luckily I have never been in this position so it is difficult to know how to react if it did happen. My Thai girlfriend has just changed her first and last name as a fortune teller told her to be a successful artist she must change it as her old name was not right for her!!! Naturally my internal reaction was <deleted>!!!!! but my girlfriend truly believes it so I had to respect her decision...She is not crazy, just has very a strong belief in this, which a lot of people in Thailand do!

Now for your situation, there are a few things you can try:

1: Ask someone to dress as a Monk and go see your wife telling her yes it is a test and now the test is to get the money back!!!

2: Tell your wife you want to also meet the man because you feel it is the right thing to do as you want to see if you have any connection to her past (if she can arrange it make sure you have a few local Thai friends when he shows up, then, well, the rest is up to you)

3: Your wife has the guys account number, name and bank details, give this to the police. I am not sure if they can help but might be worth a try!!!

Through all of this you must give support to your wife (as difficult as that may be at times), because when she finally accepts she has been conned then she will need your support more than ever!!

I do not think your wife is crazy, she does not need a psych evaluation..this is her strong belief that was manipulated for gain...Karma will happen..

Best of luck

Edited February 11, 2014 by chappie1207

[kinmaew]

Was this your money that she transferred or was it wholly hers?

This sort of stuff I have zero tolerance for and I know most Thais think like this and another reason I would probably never marry a Thai woman too much of this f***** bullshi* beliefs and constant headaches on this sort of thing and the bottom line its always about money.

[eddie61]

Sounds to me like there was not a great deal to wash

[Rorri]

mimi9000, on 09 Feb 2014 - 21:59, said:

Typical thai person who thinks they r practicing Buddhism, but they know nothing about Buddha nor his teachings, moreover nothing about how superstition has been manufactured by the people along the way as a misrepresentation of the ignorance.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Buddhism and superstition are two very different and separate issues, many people do not understand this. You are also right about Thai Buddhism, Buddha would be shaking head.

[jacko45k]

I am a little surprised she didn't come to you for some advice prior to handing over the money.

It is a large enough amount to justify a joint decision.

Mine came to me when she got one of those suspicious phone calls that is ultimately trying to get you to transfer money to them.....

I was a bit dumbfounded that she was taking it seriously..... they seem so ready to believe others, complete strangers.

[sawadeeken]

This is why I either control the money in the family, or at the very least, I continue to monitor it.

Also, If you are married then you have an interest in the situation, so it is up to you to go to the police and let the police come and talk to her. I think the police would convince her to make official report and start the ball rolling to catch that low-life.

My Mrs. has a lady friend in Pattaya and a man working for the local government borrowed some gold from this friend for use in his upcoming marriage and scammed her. It took some coaxing by friends for her to go to the police but after she did talk to them, the guy has been paying her back monthly.

Edited for a word left out.

Edited February 11, 2014 by sawadeeken

[godden]

I would want to know what she did to set herself up as a target for this con man, and stop ner doing it again.

[FlorenceM]

Well if her parents believe in those stuff too, that means she was raised to be like that. It's kinda hard to fix it.

Explain to her in logical way, describe the reason why you think she has been scammed, use the logic. Now you can make her believe you 50%, you are on the right way.

I was raised by the family like this too. I had to worship statue, a turtle we saw in a pond, disabled gecko, cow with five legs bla bla...

You know what, it was crazy and I've never found it reasonable so I stopped. Now when my mom tells me to do it, I just ask her the reasons why until she can't find the answers anymore and she started to question herself.

Maybe you can use the same way as I do. Talk to her softly about it everyday. Change her mind a little bit everyday.

[ChiangraiTony]

To me it sounds like someone searching for answers, answers that fit into their belief system. This or something similar can certainly happen again. Educate them! If they trust you then take them to the computer and find similar stories and show that these scams occur often to people that are trusting. This may help to change her behavioral belief. Find others that have been scammed to share their stories. Soon she will become more educated. Look around and try to find a real Buddhist Monk not the ones that pray on people for their own gain. If your wife knew the real teaching of Buddhism maybe it would help. I admit that it will not be an easy road because she is currently happy in her beliefs. I don't suggest for a moment that your wife doesn't have love for you but she is looking for more in her life that has nothing to do with you, it's at a higher spiritual level. Common sense and street smart education can sometimes help. If you do nothing then nothing will change. Maybe she should spend 1-2 months in the temple to quench her thrust for whatever she is searching for. Good luck!

[mrowe1973]

I'd say you got off easy my x Thai girlfriend was convinced in believing this group of healing monks. They told her to drink a root and pray every night and her cancer will go away. They also told her to quit her western medicine and not to have radiation. Anyways, she followed their instructions because it was the bad spirt making her sick not the cancer. After everything was cleared she stopped treatment and it the cancer came back. I had to leave her because I could not sit around and watch her die because of some reincarnated group of fortune telling doctor monks.

[mrowe1973]

I'd say you got off easy my x Thai girlfriend was convinced in believing this group of healing monks. They told her to drink a root and pray every night and her cancer will go away. They also told her to quit her western medicine and not to have radiation. Anyways, she followed their instructions because it was the bad spirt making her sick not the cancer. After everything was cleared she stopped treatment and it the cancer came back. I had to leave her because I could not sit around and watch her die because of some reincarnated group of fortune telling doctor monks.

O she would not listen to me because I'm just a stupid farang

[Doc46]

I call her brainwashed because she refuses to believe she has been conned. She doesn't want to go to the police.

I kinda forced her to go to the police and she's going with her father right now, against her own will.

She believes she did something very good - related to her last life with that guy.

It's like she is in sect.

This guy made her so crazy that I am afraid she might give even more money (and maybe land) to him, that's why I (and her parents) are trying to prevent that.

We are married for 13 years, never had any problem, never lost any money to religion or superstition, fortune tellers and so on.

I asked her parents for advice. Her parents are rich. They think 200K is just a bit of money. They think it's a small problem and suggest to just leave it.

Her father ever has been conned for 6 million, but that case was not related to strange beliefs.

Her parents also understand she has been brainwashed and conned, they can't bring her to reason either.

She refuses to go to a psychiatrist, she says she's not mad.

Wow you said it;;;;;;Brainwashed,,,,,,,,,,,,Very slowly try to BRAINWASH the poor lady back to NORMAL

[ricklev]

I know lots of people in America who give 10 percent of all of their income to cults that promises them eternal life in a place they call "heaven" if they follow the rules of this entity they call "god". Every moment of their lives is devoted to making this "god" happy and following the rules of their cult, but still he does horrible things to them and their friends.

They also believe that the earth was created a few thousand years ago despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

They think that anyone that doesn't agree with them will burn in horrible pain for eternity in this place they call "hell". This punishment is decided upon by their "loving god".

One of their cult members was recently president of the USA and another was defeated by Obama just a short time ago so it's a pretty widespread psychosis.

Edited February 11, 2014 by ricklev

[GOLDBUGGY]

I would advise you to go to good psychiatrist with your wife. Because as far as I can see it could be chronic (hidden) OCD, or starting psychosis or even more. But I have no rights to make a diagnosis here.

I would suggest you to go to BNH hospital, there are some very good psychiatrists.

Or go by yourself first and talk to him/her about it to see if she doe have to come in.

As one poster pointed out, a lot of this might have to do with losing face. Ever do something so stupid that you feel really ashamed of, and other people know about it. Well I did! More than once actually, but again that is another story. It is hard to admit it when you are wrong. Especially if you have been scammed. I would think in the mean time it is best you drop the subject, unless she wants to talk about it, and move on.

I to am very puzzled in how this can happen from a complete stranger???

[NoshowJones]

Neither naivete nor superstitiousness are psychiatric problems.

There is a huge difference between naiveté, superstitiousness and psychiatric problems.

To give away money from your family budget to a person who introduce himself as an astral relative could be first (maybe already not first) sign of serious psychiatric problems.

She could cut off husband's head someday saying that "angel told her to do that". You know what I mean.

I don't think the OP will want to hear rubbish like that, and that's what it is, rubbish. The OP is looking for help for a very unusual thing, and I wish I could say something that will help him, but all I can do is wish him all the best and hope everything turns out well for both of them.

[Cosmo88]

It has likely nothing to do with any alleged "Thai naivety" or indeed with Thailand at all. Sounds more like a case of (at least borderline) psychiatric illness. I believe I have read somewhere that there is at least some correlation between strong religious/superstitious beliefs and psychotic-type mental illnesses such as schizophrenia-like conditions.

It would seem like she needs evaluation by a professional. The question is only how to accomplish that when she is unwilling. After all, the risk for psychosis appears to be non-negligible, and that can be potentially harmful for self or others.

[NoshowJones]

Educated and superstitious is an oxymoron. There is no real education while superstition still prevails. She clearly needs more education...

She needs more education???? From what the OP says I do not think so. If some posters would just think before they post.

[ggt]

I call her brainwashed because she refuses to believe she has been conned. She doesn't want to go to the police.

I kinda forced her to go to the police and she's going with her father right now, against her own will.

She believes she did something very good - related to her last life with that guy.

It's like she is in sect.

This guy made her so crazy that I am afraid she might give even more money (and maybe land) to him, that's why I (and her parents) are trying to prevent that.

We are married for 13 years, never had any problem, never lost any money to religion or superstition, fortune tellers and so on.

I asked her parents for advice. Her parents are rich. They think 200K is just a bit of money. They think it's a small problem and suggest to just leave it.

Her father ever has been conned for 6 million, but that case was not related to strange beliefs.

Her parents also understand she has been brainwashed and conned, they can't bring her to reason either.

She refuses to go to a psychiatrist, she says she's not mad.

This con man...may be using a form of hypnosis...planting things into her subconscious...very hard to retract the thoughts...unless you are the one who put them there...

[simosiam]

if I were in your shoes I would not worry so much in fact if this guy does not occur again at the door, I'd rather much more worried if the guy come back and give back even in part the sum because surely the next time it would cost you even more than you have already lost. I would recommend you consult a monk, surely your wife being so devout believe him more than anyone else.

[peterquixote]

I do not believe you can change basic personality. My Thai wife has a predisposition toward spending money as fast as she can.

I therefor had to make a pact with myself that I would not fall for the sob stories, you know the parents in the rice farm, Thaksin victims,

the other Thaksin victims, the son who needs dental attention, the things that just must be purchased now, right away,

the shoes I need, the parents again, draining my life.

I just stand my ground now, and I say, well if this arrangement is not good enough for you perhaps we should change it, ie you go back to Bangkok.

If my wife gave 200k to a beggar, that's it, it would be goodbye.

You will not change the basic malfunction

[stickylies]

file under: thainess.

[peterquixote]

yeah right, so what is she doing talking to some vagrant outside her workplace for hours,

knock knock on the door.