Dowry

[Scarpolo]

Points of view...

1. Long term expats who never married here

" What kind of idiot would buy his wife from greedy upcountry relatives

who should get jobs instead of selling their family members..."

2. Expats who paid sin sot and are living the Isan dream in an upcountry village

" I paid sin sot for my lovely wife and am the happiest man in the world. This

is a Thai custom, and if you want to be properly integrated into Thai culture

you must pay this. Anybody who would not consider paying is simply a

cheapskate......."

Hey wait a minute. I have a lovely half Thai three year old daughter. Does this mean I can sell her when she is marriageable age ? Hmmmm....

Yes of course you could assuming you are another thaivisa intellectual.

Heck, theres probably an expat that would give me a big sinsod for my uni grad doctoral virgin ass also.

Hahaha yeah selling your daughter seems a bit harsh. My plan is to send her to university in America, and end up with a good job. So hopefully she may buy a dinner or two for her Dad when he is doddering about.....

University in America to hope for a good job?

Sounds like you havent awoken to the dead American dream yet....

There are no jobs for college educated now, unless they are willing to serve drinks...

The average tuition for 4 years now, $50,000 to $200,000

The largest scam in America now is "University"

unless she wants to be a scientist, physicist, of w/e, and starve

[Scarpolo]

If you aer all that concerned about the money, or the strength of your relationship, I would just count the number of times you slept with her for free, multiply that amount by 500 baht. You can pay that amount in both gold and cash. That way, you won't be losing anything if she decides to leave you because you will only have paid for what you have already taken.

what kind of female, can you get for 500 Baht in this town?

I am grossly over paying, if this is for an actual female, which means, was born, female

[Scarpolo]

Points of view...

1. Long term expats who never married here

" What kind of idiot would buy his wife from greedy upcountry relatives

who should get jobs instead of selling their family members..."

2. Expats who paid sin sot and are living the Isan dream in an upcountry village

" I paid sin sot for my lovely wife and am the happiest man in the world. This

is a Thai custom, and if you want to be properly integrated into Thai culture

you must pay this. Anybody who would not consider paying is simply a

cheapskate......."

Hey wait a minute. I have a lovely half Thai three year old daughter. Does this mean I can sell her when she is marriageable age ? Hmmmm....

Yes of course you could assuming you are another thaivisa intellectual.

Heck, theres probably an expat that would give me a big sinsod for my uni grad doctoral virgin ass also.

Hahaha yeah selling your daughter seems a bit harsh. My plan is to send her to university in America, and end up with a good job. So hopefully she may buy a dinner or two for her Dad when he is doddering about.....

555.

assuming I had a daughter growing up in thailand the only thing that would make me ask a sinsod would be if the proposed husband was a creep low life in which case I'd set the sinsod so high he'd never pay. Sort of like setting a high "bail" to protect society.

Perhaps why it was created initially?

[Scarpolo]

Thai Cowchah

Khun kowchai pasa Thai, mai kap?

As for "skin in the game," he who has the gold, makes the rules. That would be the man - not the girl or her family. Women claim "I have the pussy, so I make the rules!" I say - only if the man is a pussy and allows her. Remember men, YOU are the prize, not her. This includes your daughter, bro....

By "Thai Cowchah" I meant "Thai Culture" as pronounced by some of the scions and mavens of this board.

And however we end up handling the sinsot thing I would just impress upon any one of these "hit-and-run" sex grifter predators that there is NO law here that would keep me from exacting satisfaction should he "default."

In this jurisdiction the sinsot is just a measure of comfort for all concerned.

And yes, I claim the right to apply a double standard because this is a bi-cultural arrangement.

I'll get the wedding but I want to see joint ownership commitment on a significant appreciating asset that he's bankrolled.

Land, house, gold, a condo . . . . . assets.

The wife's family pride.

My exceptional daughter's personal happiness.

And, of course, the young man's personal safety, as well.

(In the end, it's a kind of 'insurance' for him)

It's all about measures of comfort.

Take that any way you want bro.

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit."

Am pretty sure "protection money" will be well understood by the future gooms, family....

I would imagine, you would have a "quiet chat" somewhere, as well?

like by a (east) river?

[Scarpolo]

I don't think you should pay it for all of the reasons you enumerated. Plus, as you already are supporting their family you can explain to your girlfriend and her family that, that is their dowry. If they don't like it, stop supporting them for a couple of months and the money you saved can be presented as a dowry.

I have read so many times how people admonish people in your situation saying that since you're marrying outside of your culture you have to accept everything and anything in Thai culture. I think that is a load of bull -- your girlfriend is marrying outside of her culture too (i.e. yours). Your cultural beliefs are just as valid/important as hers.

I don't know why people seem to think that Western beliefs and traditions take a backseat to Asian beliefs but they DON'T. You have been down this road before. You have seen the ugly side of the dowry system. If your girlfriend truly loves you and her family aren't merely trying to bleed you dry they will understand your situation. If not then you have your answer.

Walk into any mall here, all they are doing is promoting western fast food, western values, western clothes, and all they play is american music, and I think you get the picture of where bangkok is headed, consumers strapped in high credit card, at the top of the list

[larsjohnsson]

I always wonder why people cannot see the large grey part in between black and white. Sinsod yes or no. Is there nothing in between? Of course there is. Why not let your grey cells work and come up with a plan that nullifies any greedy desires from a Thai family?

Here a few things to think over:

1. In most countries it is against the law to buy a woman (Law for the protection of women). Tell the family that you respect Thai traditions but you cannot do unlawful things, as you are farang.

2. Show them that you know what sinsod used to be: a financial cushion for the bride, in case her hubby dies or runs away, kind of savings for bad times.

3. In case the groom would live on the family's premises it is usual that he contributes to the living needs of the family, originally by buying a buffalo (can now be translated into a tractor, car or whatever).

4. The blabla about he shows that he can take care of her can be easily wiped away: if he pays the family he has less money to take care of the bride.

5. The big deal that leaves greedy mouths silent: You promise to take care of the woman, you will even get her money for herself, but you do that in monthly/quarterly/annual payments. It means if you pay 10K per month on a fixed account she will have 120K each year she stays with you, in 8 years nearly a million. For the man it is a ncie protection against quick-divorce and lost money, as soon as she leaves, the payments stop.

6. Talk to educated women, friends of your gf, and tell them repeatedly that you will NOT buy a woman, you are too much a gentleman to do so, you want to make your gf happy with a good life, shared together. Joke that you want her to share your life, not your wallet....

It works, we know that Thai families are greedy, surely Isan families, but going back to the original meaning of sinsod, offering to take very good care of their daughter and eventually coming in their direction with a display of money and gold, that will ALL be returned after the wedding.

I live in Isan since 7+ years, was married (no sinsod) but divorced, and I decided (until further notice) to stay single and just have a couple of nice female friends who sometimes stay for breakfast but not for lunch, if you know what I mean. Quite some local women admire my standpoint re sinsod and not buying a woman, they have been suppressed all their lives in favour of their lazy empty-headed brothers, who are considered a personal gift of Buddha.

The main message is: talk to them, understand them but let them also understand you. Their daughter wants to marry a farang, that means that all have also to listen what farang can do and what not, farang also has a tradition, culture, maybe religion, and there is no need to throw that overboard for a greedy Thai family.

Spend your money, but don't throw it away!

1. Why would I pay my wife 1 million if she stay with me 8 years ???

If I have to pay her, she is not a real wife.

2. How fun is it to live with a wife that does not like to stay if she doesn't get a monthly salary??

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Scarpolo]

I am from Texas. I told them all, right at the beginning, that Texas men expect the prospective bride to pay me a dowry. Texas custom requires me to be in charge of the family and the money. Texas customs require that the woman take the man's surname and become part of his family and leave her natal family. it works for me.

The "I am from Texas" may work for the pathetic in developing countries, but it doesn't wash with the rest of the world. In fact it is sickening.

Not to argue with anyone from Texas,

but most "Texans" are also "believers"

and, believers believe in "the word"

the word states that the man shall leave the mother and father, and cleave unto his wife

if you need more evidence, read about Jacob,

he was conned into working for the girls father for 7 years, then he bait and switched, and made him work another 7 years for the girl he wanted.

now show me a Thai who can beat that,

and I will marry his daughters, all of them

[larsjohnsson]

If you aer all that concerned about the money, or the strength of your relationship, I would just count the number of times you slept with her for free, multiply that amount by 500 baht. You can pay that amount in both gold and cash. That way, you won't be losing anything if she decides to leave you because you will only have paid for what you have already taken.

what kind of female, can you get for 500 Baht in this town?

I am grossly over paying, if this is for an actual female, which means, was born, female

What kind of wife is it if you have to pay her? to stay with you?

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Scarpolo]

I always wonder why people cannot see the large grey part in between black and white. Sinsod yes or no. Is there nothing in between? Of course there is. Why not let your grey cells work and come up with a plan that nullifies any greedy desires from a Thai family?

Here a few things to think over:

1. In most countries it is against the law to buy a woman (Law for the protection of women). Tell the family that you respect Thai traditions but you cannot do unlawful things, as you are farang.

2. Show them that you know what sinsod used to be: a financial cushion for the bride, in case her hubby dies or runs away, kind of savings for bad times.

3. In case the groom would live on the family's premises it is usual that he contributes to the living needs of the family, originally by buying a buffalo (can now be translated into a tractor, car or whatever).

4. The blabla about he shows that he can take care of her can be easily wiped away: if he pays the family he has less money to take care of the bride.

5. The big deal that leaves greedy mouths silent: You promise to take care of the woman, you will even get her money for herself, but you do that in monthly/quarterly/annual payments. It means if you pay 10K per month on a fixed account she will have 120K each year she stays with you, in 8 years nearly a million. For the man it is a ncie protection against quick-divorce and lost money, as soon as she leaves, the payments stop.

6. Talk to educated women, friends of your gf, and tell them repeatedly that you will NOT buy a woman, you are too much a gentleman to do so, you want to make your gf happy with a good life, shared together. Joke that you want her to share your life, not your wallet....

It works, we know that Thai families are greedy, surely Isan families, but going back to the original meaning of sinsod, offering to take very good care of their daughter and eventually coming in their direction with a display of money and gold, that will ALL be returned after the wedding.

I live in Isan since 7+ years, was married (no sinsod) but divorced, and I decided (until further notice) to stay single and just have a couple of nice female friends who sometimes stay for breakfast but not for lunch, if you know what I mean. Quite some local women admire my standpoint re sinsod and not buying a woman, they have been suppressed all their lives in favour of their lazy empty-headed brothers, who are considered a personal gift of Buddha.

The main message is: talk to them, understand them but let them also understand you. Their daughter wants to marry a farang, that means that all have also to listen what farang can do and what not, farang also has a tradition, culture, maybe religion, and there is no need to throw that overboard for a greedy Thai family.

Spend your money, but don't throw it away!

My girlfriends family doesnt speak a word of english, not one word.

The discussion was passed from the daughter already, that Americans do not pay families, for anything, but she can do whatever she pleases with the money I give her.. that, is totally, "up to you"

that has kept peace and love aflowing

[Scarpolo]

This greediness is farang's fault, they have taken this sinsod supposed traditional too serious at the begining they were so happy to see the smiles of the in-laws and now this is falling on others head. Never start something that you cannot stop.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

I must be one of the "luckier" ones

Her mother, did not smile at me, and,

didn't even say goodbye as she exited the car from the dinner I paid for, but didn't eat because it was horrible

I am also, older than the mother, but not the father,

They know not to expect anything from me, and the rest of the family doesn't even know we are "involved"

Sounds almost too perfect for what everyone else reports here

I guess I have it better than I realized,

Thai Visa saves the day, again!

[Scarpolo]

If you aer all that concerned about the money, or the strength of your relationship, I would just count the number of times you slept with her for free, multiply that amount by 500 baht. You can pay that amount in both gold and cash. That way, you won't be losing anything if she decides to leave you because you will only have paid for what you have already taken.

what kind of female, can you get for 500 Baht in this town?

I am grossly over paying, if this is for an actual female, which means, was born, female

What kind of wife is it if you have to pay her? to stay with you?

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Not sure this applies to me,

I am renting a high end, wife surrogate,

not, same same as what people here are discussing

[transam]

This greediness is farang's fault, they have taken this sinsod supposed traditional too serious at the begining they were so happy to see the smiles of the in-laws and now this is falling on others head. Never start something that you cannot stop.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

I must be one of the "luckier" ones

Her mother, did not smile at me, and,

didn't even say goodbye as she exited the car from the dinner I paid for, but didn't eat because it was horrible

I am also, older than the mother, but not the father,

They know not to expect anything from me, and the rest of the family doesn't even know we are "involved"

Sounds almost too perfect for what everyone else reports here

I guess I have it better than I realized,

Thai Visa saves the day, again!

I don't think so. Yes you have your , but you don't know what is really being thought about you. BUT, if your OK with your set up, thats cool.......

[Scarpolo]

This greediness is farang's fault, they have taken this sinsod supposed traditional too serious at the begining they were so happy to see the smiles of the in-laws and now this is falling on others head. Never start something that you cannot stop.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

I must be one of the "luckier" ones

Her mother, did not smile at me, and,

didn't even say goodbye as she exited the car from the dinner I paid for, but didn't eat because it was horrible

I am also, older than the mother, but not the father,

They know not to expect anything from me, and the rest of the family doesn't even know we are "involved"

Sounds almost too perfect for what everyone else reports here

I guess I have it better than I realized,

Thai Visa saves the day, again!

I don't think so. Yes you have your , but you don't know what is really being thought about you. BUT, if your OK with your set up, thats cool.......

The set up is perfect.

What would be considered average spending in the US, is considered generous here....and still she is ashamed to order the sirloin in favor of the lesser cut

I pay for everything, as I did for my ladt two "actual" wives,

The difference here, is all attitude, her's is excellent, positive and grateful to not be sitting on a dias with 30 other girls with a number on her blouse

I am good, with all of it

[SanukJoeII]

I always wonder why people cannot see the large grey part in between black and white. Sinsod yes or no. Is there nothing in between? Of course there is. Why not let your grey cells work and come up with a plan that nullifies any greedy desires from a Thai family?

Here a few things to think over:

1. In most countries it is against the law to buy a woman (Law for the protection of women). Tell the family that you respect Thai traditions but you cannot do unlawful things, as you are farang.

2. Show them that you know what sinsod used to be: a financial cushion for the bride, in case her hubby dies or runs away, kind of savings for bad times.

3. In case the groom would live on the family's premises it is usual that he contributes to the living needs of the family, originally by buying a buffalo (can now be translated into a tractor, car or whatever).

4. The blabla about he shows that he can take care of her can be easily wiped away: if he pays the family he has less money to take care of the bride.

5. The big deal that leaves greedy mouths silent: You promise to take care of the woman, you will even get her money for herself, but you do that in monthly/quarterly/annual payments. It means if you pay 10K per month on a fixed account she will have 120K each year she stays with you, in 8 years nearly a million. For the man it is a ncie protection against quick-divorce and lost money, as soon as she leaves, the payments stop.

6. Talk to educated women, friends of your gf, and tell them repeatedly that you will NOT buy a woman, you are too much a gentleman to do so, you want to make your gf happy with a good life, shared together. Joke that you want her to share your life, not your wallet....

It works, we know that Thai families are greedy, surely Isan families, but going back to the original meaning of sinsod, offering to take very good care of their daughter and eventually coming in their direction with a display of money and gold, that will ALL be returned after the wedding.

I live in Isan since 7+ years, was married (no sinsod) but divorced, and I decided (until further notice) to stay single and just have a couple of nice female friends who sometimes stay for breakfast but not for lunch, if you know what I mean. Quite some local women admire my standpoint re sinsod and not buying a woman, they have been suppressed all their lives in favour of their lazy empty-headed brothers, who are considered a personal gift of Buddha.

The main message is: talk to them, understand them but let them also understand you. Their daughter wants to marry a farang, that means that all have also to listen what farang can do and what not, farang also has a tradition, culture, maybe religion, and there is no need to throw that overboard for a greedy Thai family.

Spend your money, but don't throw it away!

1. Why would I pay my wife 1 million if she stay with me 8 years ???

If I have to pay her, she is not a real wife.

2. How fun is it to live with a wife that does not like to stay if she doesn't get a monthly salary??

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

You simply don't get the point, not at all.

It's not paying your wife to stay, it is a security for later and on top a good alternative to pay her family.

If you die (and we all do) she would not get a widow pension, at least not in the case of staying in Thailand. So she would be without income.

By supplying a security for her you show that you care.

You could also pay for a life insurance, put your house or condo on her name, whatever.

The meaning of my post is that you, instead of supplying money to the greedy family (which is lost money, for you and for your wife), you use the money for security in the event that you pass away.

[Donnie Brasco]

Thai Cowchah

Khun kowchai pasa Thai, mai kap?

As for "skin in the game," he who has the gold, makes the rules. That would be the man - not the girl or her family. Women claim "I have the pussy, so I make the rules!" I say - only if the man is a pussy and allows her. Remember men, YOU are the prize, not her. This includes your daughter, bro....

By "Thai Cowchah" I meant "Thai Culture" as pronounced by some of the scions and mavens of this board.

And however we end up handling the sinsot thing I would just impress upon any one of these "hit-and-run" sex grifter predators that there is NO law here that would keep me from exacting satisfaction should he "default."

In this jurisdiction the sinsot is just a measure of comfort for all concerned.

And yes, I claim the right to apply a double standard because this is a bi-cultural arrangement.

I'll get the wedding but I want to see joint ownership commitment on a significant appreciating asset that he's bankrolled.

Land, house, gold, a condo . . . . . assets.

The wife's family pride.

My exceptional daughter's personal happiness.

And, of course, the young man's personal safety, as well.

(In the end, it's a kind of 'insurance' for him)

It's all about measures of comfort.

Take that any way you want bro.

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit."

Am pretty sure "protection money" will be well understood by the future gooms, family....

I would imagine, you would have a "quiet chat" somewhere, as well?

like by a (east) river.

That's what I like about this board; say something 15 or twenty times, show a picture, explain it and (you know????) people catch on riiiiiiight away.

Yes.

That's exactly why, how and what I'll tell the guy.

Actually, I'll probably have my personal trainer do it after a we've had run.

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit."

[Scarpolo]

I always wonder why people cannot see the large grey part in between black and white. Sinsod yes or no. Is there nothing in between? Of course there is. Why not let your grey cells work and come up with a plan that nullifies any greedy desires from a Thai family?

Here a few things to think over:

1. In most countries it is against the law to buy a woman (Law for the protection of women). Tell the family that you respect Thai traditions but you cannot do unlawful things, as you are farang.

2. Show them that you know what sinsod used to be: a financial cushion for the bride, in case her hubby dies or runs away, kind of savings for bad times.

3. In case the groom would live on the family's premises it is usual that he contributes to the living needs of the family, originally by buying a buffalo (can now be translated into a tractor, car or whatever).

4. The blabla about he shows that he can take care of her can be easily wiped away: if he pays the family he has less money to take care of the bride.

5. The big deal that leaves greedy mouths silent: You promise to take care of the woman, you will even get her money for herself, but you do that in monthly/quarterly/annual payments. It means if you pay 10K per month on a fixed account she will have 120K each year she stays with you, in 8 years nearly a million. For the man it is a ncie protection against quick-divorce and lost money, as soon as she leaves, the payments stop.

6. Talk to educated women, friends of your gf, and tell them repeatedly that you will NOT buy a woman, you are too much a gentleman to do so, you want to make your gf happy with a good life, shared together. Joke that you want her to share your life, not your wallet....

It works, we know that Thai families are greedy, surely Isan families, but going back to the original meaning of sinsod, offering to take very good care of their daughter and eventually coming in their direction with a display of money and gold, that will ALL be returned after the wedding.

I live in Isan since 7+ years, was married (no sinsod) but divorced, and I decided (until further notice) to stay single and just have a couple of nice female friends who sometimes stay for breakfast but not for lunch, if you know what I mean. Quite some local women admire my standpoint re sinsod and not buying a woman, they have been suppressed all their lives in favour of their lazy empty-headed brothers, who are considered a personal gift of Buddha.

The main message is: talk to them, understand them but let them also understand you. Their daughter wants to marry a farang, that means that all have also to listen what farang can do and what not, farang also has a tradition, culture, maybe religion, and there is no need to throw that overboard for a greedy Thai family.

Spend your money, but don't throw it away!

1. Why would I pay my wife 1 million if she stay with me 8 years ???

If I have to pay her, she is not a real wife.

2. How fun is it to live with a wife that does not like to stay if she doesn't get a monthly salary??

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

You simply don't get the point, not at all.

It's not paying your wife to stay, it is a security for later and on top a good alternative to pay her family.

If you die (and we all do) she would not get a widow pension, at least not in the case of staying in Thailand. So she would be without income.

By supplying a security for her you show that you care.

You could also pay for a life insurance, put your house or condo on her name, whatever.

The meaning of my post is that you, instead of supplying money to the greedy family (which is lost money, for you and for your wife), you use the money for security in the event that you pass away.

That is actually, kind of a touchy subject:

my soon to be ex wife, used to always tell me that the money she came into the marriage with $20,000 that was used on a custody battle that she lost, (she blamed me) not her past which was displayed in the court for her,

and one day, it was suggested to me, by a psychologist that, when asked why she didn't leave me, her answer was, because she didnt have any money, (not, because she loved me), so, I was advised to give her the money.

Within weeks, she started telling me, that was only a start, and that I should consider helping her build a "safety net" she liked to call it, not to go to work mind you, to build it herself,

I told her, I wanted to see how she utilized the first 20k, which, a few months later, she spent on moving her things to storage, and hiring a lawyer.

Sin Sot suddenly seems very very cheap to the white man

[FiftyTwo]

Sin Sot suddenly seems very very cheap to the white man

Black and Asian Americans don't get divorced?

[Scarpolo]

Sin Sot suddenly seems very very cheap to the white man

Black and Asian Americans don't get divorced?

from what I can see in this country, blacks dont stand a chance with thai girls, so, no.

[andrewrooney]

I figure I'll contribute here as I got married recently. I'm an American working as an English teacher here, I've got a little bit of savings but I'm not rich by any means. My wife comes from Nakhon Pathom. Her father is a policeman, they're also doing ok but not wealthy. When we started talking about marriage I explained to them I wasn't really comfortable with paying sin sot, as doing so would be really looked down upon in my culture. They were really understanding, and suggested a compromise. I bought the ring, a gold necklace, and gold bracelet for my wife. I also paid for most of the wedding expenses. They withdrew 150,000 baht of their own money to be used in the wedding ceremony, which they took back afterwards. That way the neighbors wouldn't gossip that "the farang didn't pay any sin sod," but at the same time nobody back home looks down on my wife for being "bought." Worked out pretty well for everyone, and I couldn't be happier.

Anyway, I guess my point is that these things ARE flexible... if your wife to be and her family really care about you, hopefully you can reach some sort of compromise that works for everyone. Good luck!

[biggles45]

" " I paid sin sot for my lovely wife and am the happiest man in the world. This

is a Thai custom, and if you want to be properly integrated into Thai culture

you must pay this"

I got a good chuckle out of this gem. You are the foreigner, and always will be even if you are here for 20 years. you will never be "integrated" into Thai culture, no matter how much money you fork out.

[givenall]

Immediately cancel the payments on the pick up.

When asked why tell her its to save up for the sin sot, watch the reaction.

If you lose her, so what, I dare say you will have another ready to step into her shoes tomorrow, if she and her family have any sense, they should ask themselves how easy are you to replace.

15 months of knowing her isnt long enough, you are already being taken for a mug with the pick up payments.

Maybe after another 5 years you might wish to reconsider, thats if she and her family dont address their attitude problem pretty dam_n quickly.

I guess some people have more money to loose than other

[larsjohnsson]

I always wonder why people cannot see the large grey part in between black and white. Sinsod yes or no. Is there nothing in between? Of course there is. Why not let your grey cells work and come up with a plan that nullifies any greedy desires from a Thai family?

Here a few things to think over:

1. In most countries it is against the law to buy a woman (Law for the protection of women). Tell the family that you respect Thai traditions but you cannot do unlawful things, as you are farang.

2. Show them that you know what sinsod used to be: a financial cushion for the bride, in case her hubby dies or runs away, kind of savings for bad times.

3. In case the groom would live on the family's premises it is usual that he contributes to the living needs of the family, originally by buying a buffalo (can now be translated into a tractor, car or whatever).

4. The blabla about he shows that he can take care of her can be easily wiped away: if he pays the family he has less money to take care of the bride.

5. The big deal that leaves greedy mouths silent: You promise to take care of the woman, you will even get her money for herself, but you do that in monthly/quarterly/annual payments. It means if you pay 10K per month on a fixed account she will have 120K each year she stays with you, in 8 years nearly a million. For the man it is a ncie protection against quick-divorce and lost money, as soon as she leaves, the payments stop.

6. Talk to educated women, friends of your gf, and tell them repeatedly that you will NOT buy a woman, you are too much a gentleman to do so, you want to make your gf happy with a good life, shared together. Joke that you want her to share your life, not your wallet....

It works, we know that Thai families are greedy, surely Isan families, but going back to the original meaning of sinsod, offering to take very good care of their daughter and eventually coming in their direction with a display of money and gold, that will ALL be returned after the wedding.

I live in Isan since 7+ years, was married (no sinsod) but divorced, and I decided (until further notice) to stay single and just have a couple of nice female friends who sometimes stay for breakfast but not for lunch, if you know what I mean. Quite some local women admire my standpoint re sinsod and not buying a woman, they have been suppressed all their lives in favour of their lazy empty-headed brothers, who are considered a personal gift of Buddha.

The main message is: talk to them, understand them but let them also understand you. Their daughter wants to marry a farang, that means that all have also to listen what farang can do and what not, farang also has a tradition, culture, maybe religion, and there is no need to throw that overboard for a greedy Thai family.

Spend your money, but don't throw it away!

1. Why would I pay my wife 1 million if she stay with me 8 years ???

If I have to pay her, she is not a real wife.

2. How fun is it to live with a wife that does not like to stay if she doesn't get a monthly salary??

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You simply don't get the point, not at all.

It's not paying your wife to stay, it is a security for later and on top a good alternative to pay her family.

If you die (and we all do) she would not get a widow pension, at least not in the case of staying in Thailand. So she would be without income.

By supplying a security for her you show that you care.

You could also pay for a life insurance, put your house or condo on her name, whatever.

The meaning of my post is that you, instead of supplying money to the greedy family (which is lost money, for you and for your wife), you use the money for security in the event that you pass away.

Call it whatever you like. You would pay your wife a 10000 salary for every month she is staying with you. And you write it's a protection against divorce from her

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[larsjohnsson]

" " I paid sin sot for my lovely wife and am the happiest man in the world. This

is a Thai custom, and if you want to be properly integrated into Thai culture

you must pay this"

I got a good chuckle out of this gem. You are the foreigner, and always will be even if you are here for 20 years. you will never be "integrated" into Thai culture, no matter how much money you fork out.

Yes her parents told him it was Thai Custom:)

None of my Thai friends have paid it

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[atyclb]

Points of view...

1. Long term expats who never married here

" What kind of idiot would buy his wife from greedy upcountry relatives

who should get jobs instead of selling their family members..."

2. Expats who paid sin sot and are living the Isan dream in an upcountry village

" I paid sin sot for my lovely wife and am the happiest man in the world. This

is a Thai custom, and if you want to be properly integrated into Thai culture

you must pay this. Anybody who would not consider paying is simply a

cheapskate......."

Hey wait a minute. I have a lovely half Thai three year old daughter. Does this mean I can sell her when she is marriageable age ? Hmmmm....

Yes of course you could assuming you are another thaivisa intellectual.

Heck, theres probably an expat that would give me a big sinsod for my uni grad doctoral virgin ass also.

Hahaha yeah selling your daughter seems a bit harsh. My plan is to send her to university in America, and end up with a good job. So hopefully she may buy a dinner or two for her Dad when he is doddering about.....

University in America to hope for a good job?

Sounds like you havent awoken to the dead American dream yet....

There are no jobs for college educated now, unless they are willing to serve drinks...

The average tuition for 4 years now, $50,000 to $200,000

The largest scam in America now is "University"

unless she wants to be a scientist, physicist, of w/e, and starve

High demand fields and/or law, medicine. Why not aim high?

[mogandave]

In the US it is pretty common to buy an engagement ring and give it to woman when she aggress to marry you.

The value of the ring generally depends on the financial situation of the groom, but a general rule of thumb is three month's salery.

Isn't that like paying a woman to marry you?

[SanukJoeII]

I always wonder why people cannot see the large grey part in between black and white. Sinsod yes or no. Is there nothing in between? Of course there is. Why not let your grey cells work and come up with a plan that nullifies any greedy desires from a Thai family?

Here a few things to think over:

1. In most countries it is against the law to buy a woman (Law for the protection of women). Tell the family that you respect Thai traditions but you cannot do unlawful things, as you are farang.

2. Show them that you know what sinsod used to be: a financial cushion for the bride, in case her hubby dies or runs away, kind of savings for bad times.

3. In case the groom would live on the family's premises it is usual that he contributes to the living needs of the family, originally by buying a buffalo (can now be translated into a tractor, car or whatever).

4. The blabla about he shows that he can take care of her can be easily wiped away: if he pays the family he has less money to take care of the bride.

5. The big deal that leaves greedy mouths silent: You promise to take care of the woman, you will even get her money for herself, but you do that in monthly/quarterly/annual payments. It means if you pay 10K per month on a fixed account she will have 120K each year she stays with you, in 8 years nearly a million. For the man it is a ncie protection against quick-divorce and lost money, as soon as she leaves, the payments stop.

6. Talk to educated women, friends of your gf, and tell them repeatedly that you will NOT buy a woman, you are too much a gentleman to do so, you want to make your gf happy with a good life, shared together. Joke that you want her to share your life, not your wallet....

It works, we know that Thai families are greedy, surely Isan families, but going back to the original meaning of sinsod, offering to take very good care of their daughter and eventually coming in their direction with a display of money and gold, that will ALL be returned after the wedding.

I live in Isan since 7+ years, was married (no sinsod) but divorced, and I decided (until further notice) to stay single and just have a couple of nice female friends who sometimes stay for breakfast but not for lunch, if you know what I mean. Quite some local women admire my standpoint re sinsod and not buying a woman, they have been suppressed all their lives in favour of their lazy empty-headed brothers, who are considered a personal gift of Buddha.

The main message is: talk to them, understand them but let them also understand you. Their daughter wants to marry a farang, that means that all have also to listen what farang can do and what not, farang also has a tradition, culture, maybe religion, and there is no need to throw that overboard for a greedy Thai family.

Spend your money, but don't throw it away!

1. Why would I pay my wife 1 million if she stay with me 8 years ???

If I have to pay her, she is not a real wife.

2. How fun is it to live with a wife that does not like to stay if she doesn't get a monthly salary??

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

You simply don't get the point, not at all.

It's not paying your wife to stay, it is a security for later and on top a good alternative to pay her family.

If you die (and we all do) she would not get a widow pension, at least not in the case of staying in Thailand. So she would be without income.

By supplying a security for her you show that you care.

You could also pay for a life insurance, put your house or condo on her name, whatever.

The meaning of my post is that you, instead of supplying money to the greedy family (which is lost money, for you and for your wife), you use the money for security in the event that you pass away.

Call it whatever you like. You would pay your wife a 10000 salary for every month she is staying with you. And you write it's a protection against divorce from her

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Reading is hard for some people. I stated to put 10K in a fixed account, that is not "giving a salary". Living with me would give her a good life anyway, what I meant is a "cushion" for times that I'm not around anymore.

I also stated it saves you against quick-divorce, i.e. the lady goes back to her family after you have paid the sinsod, could be after 2 weeks, 2 months.... In my example such a scammer would not even marry, as I would not pay the sinsod... It's a great filter to find out if she really wants to go for a long time or is just interested in big money of sinsod (for the family) and then find another buffalo farang...

[Scarpolo]

In the US it is pretty common to buy an engagement ring and give it to woman when she aggress to marry you.

The value of the ring generally depends on the financial situation of the groom, but a general rule of thumb is three month's salery.

Isn't that like paying a woman to marry you?

Very good example,

And those rings are generally starting at $3,000 to $5,000 US, or 100,000 to 150,000 baht.

[Scarpolo]

The vast majority of lawyers entering the field nowadays,. unless they are in Washington DC, working for a lobbyist group.

will never repay their student loans, and never live happy lives

The medical field, is all that is left as dar as the need for a degree,

everything else is a 4-7 year waste of time that those smarter will already have 4-7 years experience over you, so no,

it is not the same USA,

Sales fields, aside, as a good salesman, will never starve,

the US doesnt need more Finance or Law degrees, but medicine and nursing, nurse practictioner, you have my vote

[larsjohnsson]

In the US it is pretty common to buy an engagement ring and give it to woman when she aggress to marry you.

The value of the ring generally depends on the financial situation of the groom, but a general rule of thumb is three month's salery.

Isn't that like paying a woman to marry you?

Maybe in the US. Do you also buy a ring for her parents ?

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[Scarpolo]

In the US it is pretty common to buy an engagement ring and give it to woman when she aggress to marry you.

The value of the ring generally depends on the financial situation of the groom, but a general rule of thumb is three month's salery.

Isn't that like paying a woman to marry you?

Maybe in the US. Do you also buy a ring for her parents ?

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

I asked my last mother in law if she was going to make a wedding for us,

She said no,

We got married, and didnt invite them.

My g/f here, does not expect me to marry her,

I am just happy to be here