Dowry

[mogandave]

In the US it is pretty common to buy an engagement ring and give it to woman when she aggress to marry you.

The value of the ring generally depends on the financial situation of the groom, but a general rule of thumb is three month's salery.

Isn't that like paying a woman to marry you?

Maybe in the US. Do you also buy a ring for her parents ?

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

yes, one for each.

[EyesWideOpen]

Points of view...

1. Long term expats who never married here

" What kind of idiot would buy his wife from greedy upcountry relatives

who should get jobs instead of selling their family members..."

2. Expats who paid sin sot and are living the Isan dream in an upcountry village

" I paid sin sot for my lovely wife and am the happiest man in the world. This

is a Thai custom, and if you want to be properly integrated into Thai culture

you must pay this. Anybody who would not consider paying is simply a

cheapskate......."

Hey wait a minute. I have a lovely half Thai three year old daughter. Does this mean I can sell her when she is marriageable age ? Hmmmm....

Well I got to admit, if my beloved looked the same as your avatar, I'd pay up

Haha that avatar is a girl from a Korean dance group, Waveya.

Am not sure anybody has a beloved as cute as that..... :-)

[EyesWideOpen]

Points of view...

1. Long term expats who never married here

" What kind of idiot would buy his wife from greedy upcountry relatives

who should get jobs instead of selling their family members..."

2. Expats who paid sin sot and are living the Isan dream in an upcountry village

" I paid sin sot for my lovely wife and am the happiest man in the world. This

is a Thai custom, and if you want to be properly integrated into Thai culture

you must pay this. Anybody who would not consider paying is simply a

cheapskate......."

Hey wait a minute. I have a lovely half Thai three year old daughter. Does this mean I can sell her when she is marriageable age ? Hmmmm....

Yes of course you could assuming you are another thaivisa intellectual.

Heck, theres probably an expat that would give me a big sinsod for my uni grad doctoral virgin ass also.

Hahaha yeah selling your daughter seems a bit harsh. My plan is to send her to university in America, and end up with a good job. So hopefully she may buy a dinner or two for her Dad when he is doddering about.....

University in America to hope for a good job?

Sounds like you havent awoken to the dead American dream yet....

There are no jobs for college educated now, unless they are willing to serve drinks...

The average tuition for 4 years now, $50,000 to $200,000

The largest scam in America now is "University"

unless she wants to be a scientist, physicist, of w/e, and starve

Guess it depends what you study. My niece just finished college a few years ago with a degree in aeronautical engineering. She was headhunted while in college by a major company, so never spent one second looking for a job. When college was finished , she stepped into a $ 100,000 + job. So the dream is alive, but the bar got raised........If you get a degree in French literature or business administration, yeah would be good to keep on top of your table waiting skills.....

[wym]

as I would not pay the sinsod... It's a great filter to find out if she really wants to go for a long time or is just interested in big money of sinsod (for the family) and then find another buffalo farang...

I prefer filters that don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.

In fact I'd say doing it with your attitude makes it all the more likely you end up with the long-con scammers, they'll go along with your weird farang "no sin sot" rule, but only because they're aware of ways to make sure they get a LOT more out of you.

Yes her parents told him it was Thai Custom:)

None of my Thai friends have paid it

Then you don't have many Thai friends, or at least not normal ones; in fact I'm calling BS.

Thai-on-Thai marriages without sin sot would be well under 1% across the board, personally out of hundreds I've attended never even heard of ONE.

Maybe there are some sub-cultures, hill-tribes or different religions that don't do it, but I haven't come across any within the Kingdom.

[Scarpolo]

as I would not pay the sinsod... It's a great filter to find out if she really wants to go for a long time or is just interested in big money of sinsod (for the family) and then find another buffalo farang...

I prefer filters that don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.

In fact I'd say doing it with your attitude makes it all the more likely you end up with the long-con scammers, they'll go along with your weird farang "no sin sot" rule, but only because they're aware of ways to make sure they get a LOT more out of you.

Yes her parents told him it was Thai Custom:)

None of my Thai friends have paid it

Then you don't have many Thai friends, or at least not normal ones; in fact I'm calling BS.

Thai-on-Thai marriages without sin sot would be well under 1% across the board, personally out of hundreds I've attended never even heard of ONE.

Maybe there are some sub-cultures, hill-tribes or different religions that don't do it, but I haven't come across any within the Kingdom.

My girlfriends mother, is VERY old school,

She will want it,

Assuming I was interested.

I am not, at the moment.

Her friends are all old school too, and they all do it

[kimbathewhitelion]

Dowries are all throughout Asia, even the Thais pay them. The average Farang dowry is from 50-100k, a million for a rich or professional (doctor or similar) Thai. As far as the wedding, you would be responsible for everything. You can always negotiate beforehand, my friend got away with the dowry by just giving the family a single Cow (about 5000 bht). Gold 1k or 2k is a norm, but reading previous posts, seems the mind is made up. Either dump her or tell her you have to go back to the UK, then switch banks, change phone number & relocate.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Scarpolo]

With the prior anlysis, if accurate, this all seems pretty damn reasonable

[larsjohnsson]

as I would not pay the sinsod... It's a great filter to find out if she really wants to go for a long time or is just interested in big money of sinsod (for the family) and then find another buffalo farang...

I prefer filters that don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.

In fact I'd say doing it with your attitude makes it all the more likely you end up with the long-con scammers, they'll go along with your weird farang "no sin sot" rule, but only because they're aware of ways to make sure they get a LOT more out of you.

Yes her parents told him it was Thai Custom:)

None of my Thai friends have paid it

Then you don't have many Thai friends, or at least not normal ones; in fact I'm calling BS.

Thai-on-Thai marriages without sin sot would be well under 1% across the board, personally out of hundreds I've attended never even heard of ONE.

Maybe there are some sub-cultures, hill-tribes or different religions that don't do it, but I haven't come across any within the Kingdom.

If you belive Thai marriages without sin sot is well under 1% in Bangkok, then you don't now much

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[mogandave]

as I would not pay the sinsod... It's a great filter to find out if she really wants to go for a long time or is just interested in big money of sinsod (for the family) and then find another buffalo farang...

I prefer filters that don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.

In fact I'd say doing it with your attitude makes it all the more likely you end up with the long-con scammers, they'll go along with your weird farang "no sin sot" rule, but only because they're aware of ways to make sure they get a LOT more out of you.

Yes her parents told him it was Thai Custom:)

None of my Thai friends have paid it

Then you don't have many Thai friends, or at least not normal ones; in fact I'm calling BS.

Thai-on-Thai marriages without sin sot would be well under 1% across the board, personally out of hundreds I've attended never even heard of ONE.

Maybe there are some sub-cultures, hill-tribes or different religions that don't do it, but I haven't come across any within the Kingdom.

If you belive Thai marriages without sin sot is well under 1% in Bangkok, then you don't now much

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

While I agree that 1% is suspect, the idea that it is unusual is just silly. I've been to 10-15 Thai weddings, and as far as I know, sin-sot was displayed at all of them.

[keithkarmann]

i was wondering do Thai males give dowrys and if so i bet they dont give tousands on Bahts, why oh why do farangs fall for this, the best option is if ya want to live in Thailand dont get invloved with a lady who will fleece you (yeah they all do i know) but to live on your own and spend your money on a "bar-girl" once a week believe me you will have much variation and thousands of Bahts beter off lol !!

Believe me I have been there and done that with the bar girls and my appetite is such that I have to have one every night and of course I do get through a lot of money that way (approx. double my budget). I will never be 100% for one girl and I still like the bit on the side when I get the chance. After 30 years of faithfulness in my second marriage I decided it was time for a change and not restrict myself to only one woman anymore and not be too committed. The girlfriend and possible future wife is a good option for me and for what she costs me is only a fraction of what I would be paying if I was in the bars all the time. I think I mentioned that I was upset for only 24 hours after my Thai wife left me and she was a stunner but I can move on very quickly. Yes most of the Thai girls are taking advantage but so am I and getting sex once or twice a day very cheaply. By getting a village marriage if I can find a way of getting around the dowry problem hopefully this arrangement we have can carry on. If things turn out badly I am only 15 minutes from the airport.

[mogandave]

Getting married to save on gash maybe not such a good idea.

[keithkarmann]

Get burn once...a mistake.

Get burn again...stupidity.

for the first bride family you bought a motorbike....

for the second a car...

will you go for a house next time if this wont work out?

I did not buy the motorbike the family bought that when I was off the scene. As for the car payments, I do pay my girlfriend a combined salary for cooking, cleaning and for nightly comforts (daytime as well) as I do not want her to go out to work in case I need her during the day. She told me her parents were struggling financially and I agreed that she could give them money every month out of her salary for payments on the pickup and yes these payments should compensate for the lack of dowry. What annoys me most is that her father is a lazy b-----d and lays in his hammock all day while the mother does all the work around the house and looks after the small eatery next to the house. I am a good bit older than my girlfriend and most of the time we get on well. But if she threatens to leave again maybe I should just let her go. Oh yes I was going to build her a house and at some point she said what would I do if she drastically reduced my sex allowance and my reply was the house build is cancelled and she knows if there is no honey then there would be no money.

I have lost money with girls in Thailand but nothing a could not handle.

It seems you have some extreme self-confidence issues.

You are employing a maid/prostitute, that's the be all and end all of the situation - you have not once mentioned 'love', and make clear that you consider this to be a case of exchanging money for 'services'. She is not your 'girlfriend', she is your employee and it's all a bit depressing to be frank, from the perspective of both parties.

But to the crux of your question, why on earth would you consider marriage if what you really want is someone to service your needs in exchange for money? If that's what you think you require for happiness, at the expense of a soulmate, how is getting married an improvement on not getting married in any way?

Of course I tell I love but I guess it is probably lust (I knew it began with L) but I guess I am as honest as she is when she says how much she loves me but is ready to walk out on me after I said no dowry) She needs me for money and I need her for sex and companionship and I would miss her if she walked out on me (for about 24 hours anyway until the next young thing with big eyes looked into my eyes and says take me home)

[Scarpolo]

i was wondering do Thai males give dowrys and if so i bet they dont give tousands on Bahts, why oh why do farangs fall for this, the best option is if ya want to live in Thailand dont get invloved with a lady who will fleece you (yeah they all do i know) but to live on your own and spend your money on a "bar-girl" once a week believe me you will have much variation and thousands of Bahts beter off lol !!

Believe me I have been there and done that with the bar girls and my appetite is such that I have to have one every night and of course I do get through a lot of money that way (approx. double my budget). I will never be 100% for one girl and I still like the bit on the side when I get the chance. After 30 years of faithfulness in my second marriage I decided it was time for a change and not restrict myself to only one woman anymore and not be too committed. The girlfriend and possible future wife is a good option for me and for what she costs me is only a fraction of what I would be paying if I was in the bars all the time. I think I mentioned that I was upset for only 24 hours after my Thai wife left me and she was a stunner but I can move on very quickly. Yes most of the Thai girls are taking advantage but so am I and getting sex once or twice a day very cheaply. By getting a village marriage if I can find a way of getting around the dowry problem hopefully this arrangement we have can carry on. If things turn out badly I am only 15 minutes from the airport.

Ages, please?

[keithkarmann]

i was wondering do Thai males give dowrys and if so i bet they dont give tousands on Bahts, why oh why do farangs fall for this, the best option is if ya want to live in Thailand dont get invloved with a lady who will fleece you (yeah they all do i know) but to live on your own and spend your money on a "bar-girl" once a week believe me you will have much variation and thousands of Bahts beter off lol !!

Believe me I have been there and done that with the bar girls and my appetite is such that I have to have one every night and of course I do get through a lot of money that way (approx. double my budget). I will never be 100% for one girl and I still like the bit on the side when I get the chance. After 30 years of faithfulness in my second marriage I decided it was time for a change and not restrict myself to only one woman anymore and not be too committed. The girlfriend and possible future wife is a good option for me and for what she costs me is only a fraction of what I would be paying if I was in the bars all the time. I think I mentioned that I was upset for only 24 hours after my Thai wife left me and she was a stunner but I can move on very quickly. Yes most of the Thai girls are taking advantage but so am I and getting sex once or twice a day very cheaply. By getting a village marriage if I can find a way of getting around the dowry problem hopefully this arrangement we have can carry on. If things turn out badly I am only 15 minutes from the airport.

Ages, please?

I am 62 and my girlfriend is the opposite 26 so you can probably appreciate that at my age I would be lucky to get sex once a day for free.

[Runamile]

At your age, you're lucky to want sex once a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Scarpolo]

i was wondering do Thai males give dowrys and if so i bet they dont give tousands on Bahts, why oh why do farangs fall for this, the best option is if ya want to live in Thailand dont get invloved with a lady who will fleece you (yeah they all do i know) but to live on your own and spend your money on a "bar-girl" once a week believe me you will have much variation and thousands of Bahts beter off lol !!

Believe me I have been there and done that with the bar girls and my appetite is such that I have to have one every night and of course I do get through a lot of money that way (approx. double my budget). I will never be 100% for one girl and I still like the bit on the side when I get the chance. After 30 years of faithfulness in my second marriage I decided it was time for a change and not restrict myself to only one woman anymore and not be too committed. The girlfriend and possible future wife is a good option for me and for what she costs me is only a fraction of what I would be paying if I was in the bars all the time. I think I mentioned that I was upset for only 24 hours after my Thai wife left me and she was a stunner but I can move on very quickly. Yes most of the Thai girls are taking advantage but so am I and getting sex once or twice a day very cheaply. By getting a village marriage if I can find a way of getting around the dowry problem hopefully this arrangement we have can carry on. If things turn out badly I am only 15 minutes from the airport.

Ages, please?

I am 62 and my girlfriend is the opposite 26 so you can probably appreciate that at my age I would be lucky to get sex once a day for free.

Ratio of 62 to 26 is perhaps the most remarkable I have ever heard,

I am at near 54- 32 which is almost normal next to you.,

I now understand what she is sex crazed.....

Perhaps, I am under shooting!

at 32-33, she is starting to "nest"

I am encouraged by your ratio;

but, this was from a bar, or a higher end place?

[keithkarmann]

At your age, you're lucky to want sex once a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Age is just a number, before I met my present girlfriend and before I married my Thai bride I did manage 5 times a day in two different relationships. Admittedly one relationship only last one week but the other one lasted 6 weeks. I did manage 5 times in 24 hours only a few months ago with number two. Do not know where it came from but if the feelings are right and with the aid of chemicals it can be done. Did have one relationship towards the end of 2012 and I did loose count as to how many times a day that was but that was purely lust, did not love her but she had some of the qualities I look for in a girl. Forgot to mention my Thai wife was 18 years old when I met her and 20 years old when I married her but I guess the age difference could have been the problem. I have written my Chiang Mai diaries and I guess I should publish them sometime. The problem I have is finding a Nymhomaniac that wants unlimited sex but if I keep looking I may find one eventually as long as she is within my budget.

[slipperylobster]

Is the attraction physical...? I mean is she attracted by your appearance and demeanor. Go Thai for a few weeks. Have absolutely no money... and go from there.

[slipperylobster]

At your age, you're lucky to want sex once a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Age is just a number, before I met my present girlfriend and before I married my Thai bride I did manage 5 times a day in two different relationships. Admittedly one relationship only last one week but the other one lasted 6 weeks. I did manage 5 times in 24 hours only a few months ago with number two. Do not know where it came from but if the feelings are right and with the aid of chemicals it can be done. Did have one relationship towards the end of 2012 and I did loose count as to how many times a day that was but that was purely lust, did not love her but she had some of the qualities I look for in a girl. Forgot to mention my Thai wife was 18 years old when I met her and 20 years old when I married her but I guess the age difference could have been the problem. I have written my Chiang Mai diaries and I guess I should publish them sometime. The problem I have is finding a Nymhomaniac that wants unlimited sex but if I keep looking I may find one eventually as long as she is within my budget.

<deleted>? You mean all this time all they wanted was sex 5 times a day???? My lifetime acquiring wealth and a nice physical appearance is all for naught? The shame... The shame....

[Runamile]

Cancels Gym subscription forthwith. Please advise which chemicals - Viagra, cocaine, or both?!!

[FiftyTwo]

Ratio of 62 to 26 is perhaps the most remarkable I have ever heard,

Nope, pal of mine had a trainee nurse try to move in.

He was 69, she was 19.

He got scared and ran away, back to the USA, I would have given it a go.

[keithkarmann]

Ratio of 62 to 26 is perhaps the most remarkable I have ever heard,

Nope, pal of mine had a trainee nurse try to move in.

He was 69, she was 19.

He got scared and ran away, back to the USA, I would have given it a go.

The chances of it working out with a 19 year old nurse are fairly remote but I would have given it a try. But my experience with the three 18 year olds that I have had in the past two and a half years is that they were never ready for the big time but I enjoyed trying.

[keithkarmann]

Cancels Gym subscription forthwith. Please advise which chemicals - Viagra, cocaine, or both?!!

At the moment I find the Thai copies of Viagra work for me very good at about 200 baht for 4 tablets, never tried cocaine and marijuana never did me any good. But I suppose been addicted to Viagra is not a bad thing at least it is legal. I think even if I was younger I would use them as we all need a boost at times especially if you have been in a long term relationship and it has got a bit stale.

[keithkarmann]

At your age, you're lucky to want sex once a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Age is just a number, before I met my present girlfriend and before I married my Thai bride I did manage 5 times a day in two different relationships. Admittedly one relationship only last one week but the other one lasted 6 weeks. I did manage 5 times in 24 hours only a few months ago with number two. Do not know where it came from but if the feelings are right and with the aid of chemicals it can be done. Did have one relationship towards the end of 2012 and I did loose count as to how many times a day that was but that was purely lust, did not love her but she had some of the qualities I look for in a girl. Forgot to mention my Thai wife was 18 years old when I met her and 20 years old when I married her but I guess the age difference could have been the problem. I have written my Chiang Mai diaries and I guess I should publish them sometime. The problem I have is finding a Nymhomaniac that wants unlimited sex but if I keep looking I may find one eventually as long as she is within my budget.

<deleted>? You mean all this time all they wanted was sex 5 times a day???? My lifetime acquiring wealth and a nice physical appearance is all for naught? The shame... The shame....

[keithkarmann]

At your age, you're lucky to want sex once a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Age is just a number, before I met my present girlfriend and before I married my Thai bride I did manage 5 times a day in two different relationships. Admittedly one relationship only last one week but the other one lasted 6 weeks. I did manage 5 times in 24 hours only a few months ago with number two. Do not know where it came from but if the feelings are right and with the aid of chemicals it can be done. Did have one relationship towards the end of 2012 and I did loose count as to how many times a day that was but that was purely lust, did not love her but she had some of the qualities I look for in a girl. Forgot to mention my Thai wife was 18 years old when I met her and 20 years old when I married her but I guess the age difference could have been the problem. I have written my Chiang Mai diaries and I guess I should publish them sometime. The problem I have is finding a Nymhomaniac that wants unlimited sex but if I keep looking I may find one eventually as long as she is within my budget.

<deleted>? You mean all this time all they wanted was sex 5 times a day???? My lifetime acquiring wealth and a nice physical appearance is all for naught? The shame... The shame....

Believe me if they work in a bar and sell their bodies they should be up for it but they are not all up for 5 times a day and it does help if you have a fat wallet.

[smotherb]

Cultural differences. In sin sod the groom pays the parents of the bride, in dowry the bride's parents give to the newlyweds. Sometimes, like a dowry, sin sod finds its way back to the newlyweds. Unfortunately, to me, it is far to akin to a bar fine. I would refuse to pay; wealthy educated virgin or not; period.

[keithkarmann]

Cultural differences. In sin sod the groom pays the parents of the bride, in dowry the bride's parents give to the newlyweds. Sometimes, like a dowry, sin sod finds its way back to the newlyweds. Unfortunately, to me, it is far to akin to a bar fine. I would refuse to pay; wealthy educated virgin or not; period.

Yes it is like a bar fine only larger and paid to the parents instead of the bar. If I forced her out I would probably go back to bar crawling and spend a lot. I suppose I could promise to pay her what she wants for the sin sod/dowry and put off the wedding as long as I can, it is not planned until August or September this year so I guess I can see how I feel about the dowry when the time comes. If I decide in six months to call off the wedding I will have saved a lot more than the dowry. We do normally get on well but when this came up things changed a bit until yesterday and I told her if things do not improve I would take a trip away for a few weeks and guess what things have improved (in bed anyway).

I guess the thought of her losing her salary and not been able to give her father money for the car payments gave her cause for concern. As I have said previously I like been with my girlfriend and I suppose it could be love but I do not have the commitment that I had in my previous marraiges. Primarily I am with her for the sex and she is with me for the money and anymore than that is a bonus.

[smotherb]

Cultural differences. In sin sod the groom pays the parents of the bride, in dowry the bride's parents give to the newlyweds. Sometimes, like a dowry, sin sod finds its way back to the newlyweds. Unfortunately, to me, it is far to akin to a bar fine. I would refuse to pay; wealthy educated virgin or not; period.

Yes it is like a bar fine only larger and paid to the parents instead of the bar. If I forced her out I would probably go back to bar crawling and spend a lot. I suppose I could promise to pay her what she wants for the sin sod/dowry and put off the wedding as long as I can, it is not planned until August or September this year so I guess I can see how I feel about the dowry when the time comes. If I decide in six months to call off the wedding I will have saved a lot more than the dowry. We do normally get on well but when this came up things changed a bit until yesterday and I told her if things do not improve I would take a trip away for a few weeks and guess what things have improved (in bed anyway).

I guess the thought of her losing her salary and not been able to give her father money for the car payments gave her cause for concern. As I have said previously I like been with my girlfriend and I suppose it could be love but I do not have the commitment that I had in my previous marraiges. Primarily I am with her for the sex and she is with me for the money and anymore than that is a bonus.

Then, don't even think of marriage and move on. Use the "cold beer" theory. How do you treat a cold beer? You buy it, consume it, and get another--same same with women for sex.

[myanmar123]

I am married to a Burmese girl and refused to pay a dowry. I don't pay a monthly (fee) for my wife either. We give money to the family sometimes but on my terms. Keep hold of the purse strings or they will end up round your neck. !!!

[smotherb]

Cultural differences. In sin sod the groom pays the parents of the bride, in dowry the bride's parents give to the newlyweds. Sometimes, like a dowry, sin sod finds its way back to the newlyweds. Unfortunately, to me, it is far to akin to a bar fine. I would refuse to pay; wealthy educated virgin or not; period.

Yes it is like a bar fine only larger and paid to the parents instead of the bar. If I forced her out I would probably go back to bar crawling and spend a lot. I suppose I could promise to pay her what she wants for the sin sod/dowry and put off the wedding as long as I can, it is not planned until August or September this year so I guess I can see how I feel about the dowry when the time comes. If I decide in six months to call off the wedding I will have saved a lot more than the dowry. We do normally get on well but when this came up things changed a bit until yesterday and I told her if things do not improve I would take a trip away for a few weeks and guess what things have improved (in bed anyway).

I guess the thought of her losing her salary and not been able to give her father money for the car payments gave her cause for concern. As I have said previously I like been with my girlfriend and I suppose it could be love but I do not have the commitment that I had in my previous marraiges. Primarily I am with her for the sex and she is with me for the money and anymore than that is a bonus.

If sex and money are the primary reasons for your relationship, then leave it that way. It is far easier on your mind, heart and wallet.