Losing temper with Thai staff

[BlueSkyCowboy]

Tbh losing your temper at a staff member in front of staff of any nationality and in any country is poor management.

These kinds of things should be done in private whether in Thailand or anywhere else.

Im not surprised she couldnt even look at you.

Im not scolding or trying to bait..i just think shouldnt happen anywhere.

Rather than focus on what happened and her reaction, better to focus on how to amend it.

I wish i had a constructive solution for you, but i havent been in that situation in thailand, so only know how you could handle it if it was a general situation.

If it had happened to me, i would expect a sincere apology for the reaction, even if something i had done warrented your upset at me. I would expect to have the boss state that his/her reaction was unprofessional, and that (whatever i had done) had got the better of them.

I would also expect a show of good relations in front of other staff members to help ease the shame/embarressment/awkward factor.

..but thats what i would expect as a westerner..it may be very different for a Thai. That approach may add insult to injury.

Hope you get some good advice on it. Particularly as she is a family member.

So it is OK for staff to piss me off, but I have to keep quiet?? Are u on tranqualizers?

[Sigurris]

When I had a business I inherited staff. First thing I did was shorten their ridiculously long working hours and give them days off that actually happened (often didn't under the previous Thai owners). Net result very happy staff. No!! They came in late, went home early and generally took the mickey. My ex wife told me the best bit of business advice I ever had in Thailand, "Kindness is weakness". From that moment I let her deal with all staff management of Thai staff. She would fine them if they were late, tore strips off them if they were wrong. Net result, Miserable, resentful staff. No!!! Hard working, loyal and great to work with.

I used to lose it on a regular basis and did lose a couple of staff because of it. But our staff retention rate was really high. We paid well, took them out occasionally for meals but made them work hard. My wife left me and you would not believe the support the thai staff gave me. Really helped me through a difficult time. They knew that if I lost my temper it would be gone in 2 minutes and, I think tolerated me on those ocassions because I was farang.

When I moved the business 500 miles away it was one of the saddest days of my life. There were tears all round.

So OP. Don't show weakness and apologise, it will not do you any favours. Maybe get your wife to explain to the family member that farangs do this, its normal and to get used to it. If she doesn't like it she will soon leave.

All I ever hear is we have to respect Thai culture. Well that, my friends is a two way street. If its on my buck then respect my culture too.

Edited March 25, 2014 by Sigurris

[BlueSkyCowboy]

Public humiliation is unexcusable ! You are the one who should be fired, you took advantage of the family relationship too by treating her that way.

You need to really look at yourself, more than the staff performance, very poor example you have set them.

Are you working here Charlie? Do you have a Thai team? If so did it never occur to you to loose your temper because some of your employee seems not to care?

I wouldn't bother too much.

Just forget to pay wages and see if there is a reaction

[BlueSkyCowboy]

When I had a business I inherited staff. First thing I did was shorten their ridiculously long working hours and give them days off that actually happened (often didn't under the previous Thai owners). Net result very happy staff. No!! They came in late, went home early and generally took the mickey. My ex wife told me the best bit of business advice I ever had in Thailand, "Kindness is weakness". From that moment I let her deal with all staff management of Thai staff. She would fine them if they were late, tore strips off them if they were wrong. Net result, Miserable, resentful staff. No!!! Hard working, loyal and great to work with.

I used to lose it on a regular basis and did lose a couple of staff because of it. But our staff retention rate was really high. We paid well, took them out occasionally for meals but made them work hard. My wife left me and you would not believe the support the thai staff gave me. Really helped me through a difficult time. They knew that if I lost my temper it would be gone in 2 minutes and, I think tolerated me on those ocassions because I was farang.

When I moved the business 500 miles away it was one of the saddest days of my life. There were tears all round.

So OP. Don't show weakness and apologise, it will not do you any favours. Maybe get your wife to explain to the family member that farangs do this, its normal and to get used to it. If she doesn't like it she will soon leave.

All I ever hear is we have to respect Thai culture. Well that, my friends is a two way street. If its on my buck then respect my culture too.

Yes, Thai tradition and farang money. Nothing new, this is part of the tradition hahahahhaha

[HooHaa]

Public humiliation is unexcusable ! You are the one who should be fired, you took advantage of the family relationship too by treating her that way.

You need to really look at yourself, more than the staff performance, very poor example you have set them.

oh you bleeding heart.

[h90]

If you apologies in front of the other staff it will show that whatever you got mad about was unimportant and open the door for others to do the same as she did. Whatever that was. It will show you as weak and you will lose respect (here). I see an apology as strength but in my years here I have come to see that Thai's very rarely say sorry and always wait till you say it first.

You should stay silent the other staff will have a new way of looking at you. They will not want to face the same treatment and yes you should never lose your temper with staff but what is done is done.

It's interesting to see some of the remarks. I feel sure the people who say shouting is OK would last about 6 months in business here. I have run my business here for 6 yrs on the occasions I have had a sharp word to say the staff generally just leave without letting me know they have done so.

The staff that are with me know my temperament and although generally they drive me crazy by doing something the way they want to rather than my way somehow the job gets done.

"I feel sure the people who say shouting is OK would last about 6 months in business here."

Are you sure you are doing business here? There are companies who have, for example sole distributorship for some important product. Having the last Farang clown as boss would not make any difference......

I knew one....The boss went drinking and <deleted>**ing till 3-6 AM almost every night, regularly had shouting matches with his wife in the office. Half of his office time he was drunk and shouting around. The complete company including him was very corrupt. (so no one resigned, because the money was good).

He last for many years till he got promoted and took over the US branch....from there he was kicked out after a few month....

[dotpoom]

I have a Thai rental agent in charge of my condos, I leave it up to her to take care of everything and I do not interfere with how she does her job. She is about the 5th different agent I have used , one Farang (he was by far the worst of them all) agent and 4 Thai agents. All of them choose to rip me off at every opportunity by having customers in the rooms when they were supposed to be unoccupied. It really came to a head when she started asking me for deposits back after she had moved customers to her own rooms from mine. I started to check on the rooms that were supposed to be empty at about 5.30 Hrs. in the early mornings, and right enough, I would find a customer there. So I decided I was going to use the "Losing Face" principle to my advantage. I waited until there were plenty of people about and the other offices near her were all busy and I started to let her have it in no uncertain terms (I was sick of it at this stage) raising my voice purposely loud enough so that everybody around us could hear. I got the deposit owed to me back and to the best of my knowledge she has not done it again. I did not change her for another agent as I felt it would be a waste of time and perhaps after the loosing face on this occasion she might not want to have it happen again.

I know this is not the same scenario as the OP's but I thought I'd post it because I do believe that there are times when it is absolutely necessary to show one is angry in certain situations and if it results in losing face for the person involved then it was most lightly well deserved.

[sirchai]

Do what a Thai would do : fire her with zero pay.

If foreigners start to act like Thais, then...............hmmm...

[Skeetjones]

Yes, today I committed the ultimate sin of losing it with a staff member in front of others. She also happens to be a family member. I know it causes a major loss of face but I didn't expect the following to happen:

I realised I shouldn't have shouted and asked for a quiet chat, partly to apologise and also to explain why I reacted as I did. Not only would she not speak to me, she took a cushion and just held it over her face so we couldn't even see each other!

Anyone else come across a reaction like this?

Your a horrible abusive person. The cushion on the face is the ultimate humiliation

Coming from a 30 year old who admits to physically abusing his girlfriend and living off of his mother, I don't think you are in a position to call the OP a horrible abusive person. I don't believe the OP was humiliated because some childish employee held a cushion to her face. None of the Thais I know would hold a cushion to their face, and they most likely would terminate an employee who did such a thing in their presence. I fully appreciate that one must respect local customs, but it is not customary for anyone with a sense of professionalism to do such a thing. And yes I have lost my temper and dressed down staff previously. Know what, they never stepped out of line again. It's 2014 not 1914. Improper conduct can get people killed. When my friend was out dismantling IEDs in the south, he would tear a strip off people who didn't follow instructions. His life and theirs depended on it. I can't recall him ever telling me the personnel covered their face with a pillow, but he did mention one guy peed in his pants and another one ran home to his mother.

I don't live off my mother. Please re-read my thread.

I HAVE been abusive, as I did admit. Does it happen everyday...no. A few times in 5 years...Yes. Either way no good.

The man should be ashamed of yelling at the woman doing her job

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Skeetjones]

Yes, today I committed the ultimate sin of losing it with a staff member in front of others. She also happens to be a family member. I know it causes a major loss of face but I didn't expect the following to happen:

I realised I shouldn't have shouted and asked for a quiet chat, partly to apologise and also to explain why I reacted as I did. Not only would she not speak to me, she took a cushion and just held it over her face so we couldn't even see each other!

Anyone else come across a reaction like this?

Your a horrible abusive person. The cushion on the face is the ultimate humiliation

Coming from a 30 year old who admits to physically abusing his girlfriend and living off of his mother, I don't think you are in a position to call the OP a horrible abusive person. I don't believe the OP was humiliated because some childish employee held a cushion to her face. None of the Thais I know would hold a cushion to their face, and they most likely would terminate an employee who did such a thing in their presence. I fully appreciate that one must respect local customs, but it is not customary for anyone with a sense of professionalism to do such a thing. And yes I have lost my temper and dressed down staff previously. Know what, they never stepped out of line again. It's 2014 not 1914. Improper conduct can get people killed. When my friend was out dismantling IEDs in the south, he would tear a strip off people who didn't follow instructions. His life and theirs depended on it. I can't recall him ever telling me the personnel covered their face with a pillow, but he did mention one guy peed in his pants and another one ran home to his mother.

You foreigners really have too much time. It's always a HUGE paragraph of a story of no relevance to anything at all.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[MidoriApple]

Yes, today I committed the ultimate sin of losing it with a staff member in front of others. She also happens to be a family member. I know it causes a major loss of face but I didn't expect the following to happen:

I realised I shouldn't have shouted and asked for a quiet chat, partly to apologise and also to explain why I reacted as I did. Not only would she not speak to me, she took a cushion and just held it over her face so we couldn't even see each other!

Anyone else come across a reaction like this?

Your a horrible abusive person. The cushion on the face is the ultimate humiliation

Coming from a 30 year old who admits to physically abusing his girlfriend and living off of his mother, I don't think you are in a position to call the OP a horrible abusive person. I don't believe the OP was humiliated because some childish employee held a cushion to her face. None of the Thais I know would hold a cushion to their face, and they most likely would terminate an employee who did such a thing in their presence. I fully appreciate that one must respect local customs, but it is not customary for anyone with a sense of professionalism to do such a thing. And yes I have lost my temper and dressed down staff previously. Know what, they never stepped out of line again. It's 2014 not 1914. Improper conduct can get people killed. When my friend was out dismantling IEDs in the south, he would tear a strip off people who didn't follow instructions. His life and theirs depended on it. I can't recall him ever telling me the personnel covered their face with a pillow, but he did mention one guy peed in his pants and another one ran home to his mother.

You foreigners really have too much time. It's always a HUGE paragraph of a story of no relevance to anything at all.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Skeetjones, might be you are the best person to fix this problem

You seem the similar kind of person to that cushion-girl.

Young, block-headed, too arrogant w/o anything to be in that stage,

thought you been-there-done-that, thought you're cool

but the truth is you are just a small-world man.

I don't see this is the cultural problem, this happened to me also, though I am similar Thai.

Being farang is just one weaker point that they will never seen you as the same folks.

And if anything happened, especially violence, all people around are ready to take her side,

Just because she is the same folks, and this ruins the work-management, thats it.

I can NEVER understand young people these days. Most of them are dump and lazy.

These not happened to only Thais,

but we have one example here which i have no idea where come from

Same all every nations, .

Kindly, kindly put your feet into that cushion-girl feet

and tell me why such ridiculous (stupid too) reaction she managed herself for this situation.

เขียนบน iPad, ประเทศไทย

[Kirikow]

Public humiliation is unexcusable ! You are the one who should be fired, you took advantage of the family relationship too by treating her that way.

You need to really look at yourself, more than the staff performance, very poor example you have set them.

haha...you're serious mate?

[somchaismith]

Now, just be ready for a load of passive aggression from the staff member who you verbaly abused, that is malicious gossip, crap in your coffee, car's duco keyed and so on.

[SanSaiExPat]

Yes, my Thai wife constantly displayed this this type of behavior. Her variation was to place her hands over her ears, close her eyes and say, "...bla, bla, bla, bla, bla..."

[harrry]

Yes, my Thai wife constantly displayed this this type of behavior. Her variation was to place her hands over her ears, close her eyes and say, "...bla, bla, bla, bla, bla..."

At least you did not get the silent treatment

[BusyB]

Tbh losing your temper at a staff member in front of staff of any nationality and in any country is poor management.

These kinds of things should be done in private whether in Thailand or anywhere else.

Im not surprised she couldnt even look at you.

Im not scolding or trying to bait..i just think shouldnt happen anywhere.

Rather than focus on what happened and her reaction, better to focus on how to amend it.

I wish i had a constructive solution for you, but i havent been in that situation in thailand, so only know how you could handle it if it was a general situation.

If it had happened to me, i would expect a sincere apology for the reaction, even if something i had done warrented your upset at me. I would expect to have the boss state that his/her reaction was unprofessional, and that (whatever i had done) had got the better of them.

I would also expect a show of good relations in front of other staff members to help ease the shame/embarressment/awkward factor.

..but thats what i would expect as a westerner..it may be very different for a Thai. That approach may add insult to injury.

Hope you get some good advice on it. Particularly as she is a family member.

A public insult of this gravity demands a public apology. That's the only way I can see here to mend fences - anywhere in the world.

[metisdead]

Posts not related to the predicament the OP has posted about have been removed as well as the replies.

[Jip99]

Tbh losing your temper at a staff member in front of staff of any nationality and in any country is poor management.

These kinds of things should be done in private whether in Thailand or anywhere else.

Im not surprised she couldnt even look at you.

Im not scolding or trying to bait..i just think shouldnt happen anywhere.

Rather than focus on what happened and her reaction, better to focus on how to amend it.

I wish i had a constructive solution for you, but i havent been in that situation in thailand, so only know how you could handle it if it was a general situation.

If it had happened to me, i would expect a sincere apology for the reaction, even if something i had done warrented your upset at me. I would expect to have the boss state that his/her reaction was unprofessional, and that (whatever i had done) had got the better of them.

I would also expect a show of good relations in front of other staff members to help ease the shame/embarressment/awkward factor.

..but thats what i would expect as a westerner..it may be very different for a Thai. That approach may add insult to injury.

Hope you get some good advice on it. Particularly as she is a family member.

A public insult of this gravity demands a public apology. That's the only way I can see here to mend fences - anywhere in the world.

Have you employed Thai staff ?

Ever ?

[khunpa]

Tbh losing your temper at a staff member in front of staff of any nationality and in any country is poor management.

These kinds of things should be done in private whether in Thailand or anywhere else.

Im not surprised she couldnt even look at you.

Im not scolding or trying to bait..i just think shouldnt happen anywhere.

Rather than focus on what happened and her reaction, better to focus on how to amend it.

I wish i had a constructive solution for you, but i havent been in that situation in thailand, so only know how you could handle it if it was a general situation.

If it had happened to me, i would expect a sincere apology for the reaction, even if something i had done warrented your upset at me. I would expect to have the boss state that his/her reaction was unprofessional, and that (whatever i had done) had got the better of them.

I would also expect a show of good relations in front of other staff members to help ease the shame/embarressment/awkward factor.

..but thats what i would expect as a westerner..it may be very different for a Thai. That approach may add insult to injury.

Hope you get some good advice on it. Particularly as she is a family member.

A public insult of this gravity demands a public apology. That's the only way I can see here to mend fences - anywhere in the world.

LOL! Please try to do the following...

1) Invest in and run a business in Thailand with Thai-staff.

2) Return and repost once you actually tried no. 1.

[h90]

Tbh losing your temper at a staff member in front of staff of any nationality and in any country is poor management.

These kinds of things should be done in private whether in Thailand or anywhere else.

Im not surprised she couldnt even look at you.

Im not scolding or trying to bait..i just think shouldnt happen anywhere.

Rather than focus on what happened and her reaction, better to focus on how to amend it.

I wish i had a constructive solution for you, but i havent been in that situation in thailand, so only know how you could handle it if it was a general situation.

If it had happened to me, i would expect a sincere apology for the reaction, even if something i had done warrented your upset at me. I would expect to have the boss state that his/her reaction was unprofessional, and that (whatever i had done) had got the better of them.

I would also expect a show of good relations in front of other staff members to help ease the shame/embarressment/awkward factor.

..but thats what i would expect as a westerner..it may be very different for a Thai. That approach may add insult to injury.

Hope you get some good advice on it. Particularly as she is a family member.

A public insult of this gravity demands a public apology. That's the only way I can see here to mend fences - anywhere in the world.

LOL! Please try to do the following...

1) Invest in and run a business in Thailand with Thai-staff.

2) Return and repost once you actually tried no. 1.

I wouldn't say "Thai-Staff". It is the same with any staff. Thais aren't worse or better than others. Some things are different. Some things are better some are worse, but over all I don't see big differences.....

[LUSHGOAT]

Thank you for the comments, even the scathing ones.

Of course I know I was wrong but I don't think I will fire myself, not just yet anyway. But I think it has shown me that it is time for a break as this is not normally my style, hence the post.

The Question is did she do something to drive you to loose your cool? you must remember you are also human and sometimes we all do or say things on the spur of the moment. Also sometimes when you have family members working for you they take the piss thus giving rise to anarchy in the work place you know what I mean Monkey see Monkey do. If you were right don't be too hard on yourself and don't mind what others say on here because those who criticize are often a hundred times worse. Good luck and I hope all turns out well for you.

[khunpa]

Tbh losing your temper at a staff member in front of staff of any nationality and in any country is poor management.

These kinds of things should be done in private whether in Thailand or anywhere else.

Im not surprised she couldnt even look at you.

Im not scolding or trying to bait..i just think shouldnt happen anywhere.

Rather than focus on what happened and her reaction, better to focus on how to amend it.

I wish i had a constructive solution for you, but i havent been in that situation in thailand, so only know how you could handle it if it was a general situation.

If it had happened to me, i would expect a sincere apology for the reaction, even if something i had done warrented your upset at me. I would expect to have the boss state that his/her reaction was unprofessional, and that (whatever i had done) had got the better of them.

I would also expect a show of good relations in front of other staff members to help ease the shame/embarressment/awkward factor.

..but thats what i would expect as a westerner..it may be very different for a Thai. That approach may add insult to injury.

Hope you get some good advice on it. Particularly as she is a family member.

A public insult of this gravity demands a public apology. That's the only way I can see here to mend fences - anywhere in the world.

LOL! Please try to do the following...

1) Invest in and run a business in Thailand with Thai-staff.

2) Return and repost once you actually tried no. 1.

I wouldn't say "Thai-Staff". It is the same with any staff. Thais aren't worse or better than others. Some things are different. Some things are better some are worse, but over all I don't see big differences.....

I agree to some extent that having employees, is overall pretty much the same all over the world. But there is although cultural and language challenges here, that can lead to a whole lot of misunderstandings and at times also frustrations.

[Skeetjones]

Yes, today I committed the ultimate sin of losing it with a staff member in front of others. She also happens to be a family member. I know it causes a major loss of face but I didn't expect the following to happen:

I realised I shouldn't have shouted and asked for a quiet chat, partly to apologise and also to explain why I reacted as I did. Not only would she not speak to me, she took a cushion and just held it over her face so we couldn't even see each other!

Anyone else come across a reaction like this?

Your a horrible abusive person. The cushion on the face is the ultimate humiliation

Coming from a 30 year old who admits to physically abusing his girlfriend and living off of his mother, I don't think you are in a position to call the OP a horrible abusive person. I don't believe the OP was humiliated because some childish employee held a cushion to her face. None of the Thais I know would hold a cushion to their face, and they most likely would terminate an employee who did such a thing in their presence. I fully appreciate that one must respect local customs, but it is not customary for anyone with a sense of professionalism to do such a thing. And yes I have lost my temper and dressed down staff previously. Know what, they never stepped out of line again. It's 2014 not 1914. Improper conduct can get people killed. When my friend was out dismantling IEDs in the south, he would tear a strip off people who didn't follow instructions. His life and theirs depended on it. I can't recall him ever telling me the personnel covered their face with a pillow, but he did mention one guy peed in his pants and another one ran home to his mother.

You foreigners really have too much time. It's always a HUGE paragraph of a story of no relevance to anything at all.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Skeetjones, might be you are the best person to fix this problem

You seem the similar kind of person to that cushion-girl.

Young, block-headed, too arrogant w/o anything to be in that stage,

thought you been-there-done-that, thought you're cool

but the truth is you are just a small-world man.

I don't see this is the cultural problem, this happened to me also, though I am similar Thai.

Being farang is just one weaker point that they will never seen you as the same folks.

And if anything happened, especially violence, all people around are ready to take her side,

Just because she is the same folks, and this ruins the work-management, thats it.

I can NEVER understand young people these days. Most of them are dump and lazy.

These not happened to only Thais,

but we have one example here which i have no idea where come from

Same all every nations, .

Kindly, kindly put your feet into that cushion-girl feet

and tell me why such ridiculous (stupid too) reaction she managed herself for this situation.

เขียนบน iPad, ประเทศไทย

That's a lot of anger towards me. Please seek a doctor.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[MidoriApple]

Yes, today I committed the ultimate sin of losing it with a staff member in front of others. She also happens to be a family member. I know it causes a major loss of face but I didn't expect the following to happen:

I realised I shouldn't have shouted and asked for a quiet chat, partly to apologise and also to explain why I reacted as I did. Not only would she not speak to me, she took a cushion and just held it over her face so we couldn't even see each other!

Anyone else come across a reaction like this?

Your a horrible abusive person. The cushion on the face is the ultimate humiliation

Coming from a 30 year old who admits to physically abusing his girlfriend and living off of his mother, I don't think you are in a position to call the OP a horrible abusive person. I don't believe the OP was humiliated because some childish employee held a cushion to her face. None of the Thais I know would hold a cushion to their face, and they most likely would terminate an employee who did such a thing in their presence. I fully appreciate that one must respect local customs, but it is not customary for anyone with a sense of professionalism to do such a thing. And yes I have lost my temper and dressed down staff previously. Know what, they never stepped out of line again. It's 2014 not 1914. Improper conduct can get people killed. When my friend was out dismantling IEDs in the south, he would tear a strip off people who didn't follow instructions. His life and theirs depended on it. I can't recall him ever telling me the personnel covered their face with a pillow, but he did mention one guy peed in his pants and another one ran home to his mother.

You foreigners really have too much time. It's always a HUGE paragraph of a story of no relevance to anything at all.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Skeetjones, might be you are the best person to fix this problem

You seem the similar kind of person to that cushion-girl.

Young, block-headed, too arrogant w/o anything to be in that stage,

thought you been-there-done-that, thought you're cool

but the truth is you are just a small-world man.

I don't see this is the cultural problem, this happened to me also, though I am similar Thai.

Being farang is just one weaker point that they will never seen you as the same folks.

And if anything happened, especially violence, all people around are ready to take her side,

Just because she is the same folks, and this ruins the work-management, thats it.

I can NEVER understand young people these days. Most of them are dump and lazy.

These not happened to only Thais,

but we have one example here which i have no idea where come from

Same all every nations, .

Kindly, kindly put your feet into that cushion-girl feet

and tell me why such ridiculous (stupid too) reaction she managed herself for this situation.

เขียนบน iPad, ประเทศไทย

That's a lot of anger towards me. Please seek a doctor.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

I haven't any anger, just feel really annoyance. (twice time for stu...opinions)

If you are incapable to be constructive, then better get lost.

This would help a lot already, thank you in advance.

[MidoriApple]

Mitch, I feel for you. Makes me laugh all the people who say you should accept the blame for the event because in a moment of weakness you lost it. However, you recognize that, what has happened has happened, no turning back the clock, it is done.

Over the next couple of days, make it a point to give the girl some tasks, important enough to show her (and the others) that you still trust her and in turn she will trust you again. No apologies, just go with the flow.

Forget culture, it is all about respect and trust, if these fail then the culture bit will take over. I for one have been working here long enough to recognize these as the key factors without having to use culture as an excuse for not seeing that something is wrong.

If you need to be, be optimistic about what has happened; you have demonstrated in front of the staff that if you can confront a member of the family like that, what would happen if they screw up.

On a footnote, it would be interesting to see how many people making the suggestion that you immediately fire the girl have had experience of working in Thailand, with Thais, and what their suggestions would be for getting a replacement at short notice for someone in a key position.

Still smiling to myself about that...................

Your opinions help calming me down, I been through too many crazy situations from these low-quality staffs for many years.

All the time, working with fatigue, cannot more smile in my workplace.

Everyone just say Jai Yen Yen, but no one advices way to ease the problems.

Essential to have human in work, so I have to be patience.

I am learning to be more diplomatic.

If OP feeled regret for being easy-tempered. No need to be, we Thai bosses, we made a lot more.

[dighambara]

Losing one's temper is acceptable, in any private situation.

Correcting anyone in front of others is, unacceptable, rude and demonstrates your lack of management skills.

If I worked for you and saw such behavior, I would begin seeking another employer.

[jacko45k]

Apologize to her in front of the same people you chastised her in front of.

I think that undermines him as the boss.

It is possible the problem will just go away.... given time and some positive reassurance she may come round.

Or she may quit.

If she keeps putting a cushion in front of her face you may need to just fire her.

Family members as staff can make it difficult.

[harrry]

Losing one's temper is acceptable, in any private situation.

Correcting anyone in front of others is, unacceptable, rude and demonstrates your lack of management skills.

If I worked for you and saw such behavior, I would begin seeking another employer.

Yes, The staff member does have the right to seek another position if she is unwilling to work in the conditions given by the OP. The op as boss cannot afford to allow staff to behave as they wish and perform acts like covering their face with a pillow.

He knows his outburst was not a good move and seems that he is a caring boss. I do not think he must fire the emplyee though I would personally give her a written warning not for the original offence but for her behavior with the pillow when she refused to speak with you. If she wishes to leave let her.

It is obvious that the OP does not abuse his staff all the time..

As a boss he must remain that and this means not accepting poor performance and disrespect.

[choochoo]

marry the girl...........lol. that will show them

[eldragon]

Apologize to her in front of the same people you chastised her in front of.

I think you are "wrong as you often am"

I think you are judging it from a western perspective/judgement.

khunpa has got it spot on.

If the apology is in front of the staff she regains face, which is not western thinking.

If you're Thai, I'll eat my words here. But I think you've got it backwards. Westerns would go for a public apology at work. Thais seem like they prefer to keep things private.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand