Some thoughts.

[Scottythai]

Ok I am trying to not make this like the countless Western Lady vs. Thai Lady threads just want to see peoples thoughts no bashing needed. This is something that I read today. First it made me laugh at a guy who feels he would have to do all this just to stay married. Then it made me feel sorry for him as he does not know better other than what he is fed living in a western society. It is very long and in-fact I don't know if it will all go on one post. So if you hate a long read sorry but you might just want to skip this topic.

''MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD:

Obviously, I'm not a relationship expert. But there's something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different... After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here's the advice I wish I would have had...

1) Never stop courting.
Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART.
Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again.
You will constantly change. You're not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don't take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

Read more at: http://www.viralnova.com/20-marriage-tips/

Wow it Fit. Now the point to this is do you believe you have to try to do this much to be happy with a Thai lady and her culture? I know we have seen threads discussing the odds and ends of Thai culture but I seriously don't believe that 1/2 of this applies to me and my Soon to be wife.

Thoughts?

[Sewell]

Most of what's written here seems to make sense. Nothing wrong with showing respect, understanding, courtesy, solidarity and appreciation to a loved one who plays a central role in your life. This should be the same regardless of where they hail from.

[krisb]

Yep Scotty, it's way too easy to just let these things slip by the way side..we all forget, including her.

'Never go to bed angry at each other' is something my Grandpa always said. Married for over 60 years btw, to the same lady.

Thing is with the guy you quoted, the old saying, you don't know what you got till it's gone comes to mind, and hinds sight is 20/20 vision.

Being married is hard work. You have to make it work, or it just won't last, no matter what the nationality.

[ToddWeston]

In 43 days we will be celebrating a milestone - 25 years.

I have no idea how we got this far, but we did it, we also worked beside each other for most of our career, the Thainess only added to the excitement.

As for the list, most apply and some are easy to forget, my secret is waking up in the middle in the night and before going back to sleep simply staring for a few seconds, there is something about watching the person you love sleeping that keeps me going.

Congrats on your upcoming wedding.

[metisdead]

The opening post was in violation of fair use policy and has been edited and supporting link added. It is generally accepted, but not written into law, that quoting the first two or three sentences of an article and giving a link to the source is considered “fair use” and not a violation of copyright.

Edit: Posts that are now off topic have been removed as the topic is within forum rule guidelines.

[Om85]

My advice is: never get married.

[wym]

Yes, I'm sure this applies for those struggling to make the theist/Disney dream of monogamy for life come true.

Not at all worth the trouble IMO, way too much work and even then most unlikely to succeed.

A reasonable facsimile that lasts as long as it lasts is good enough (even better) for me and relatively easy to achieve her in LoS.

All depends on what you want, I'm not putting down those who strive for the mainstream model, just not for me.

[Scottythai]

Most of what's written here seems to make sense. Nothing wrong with showing respect, understanding, courtesy, solidarity and appreciation to a loved one who plays a central role in your life. This should be the same regardless of where they hail from.

While I see this and understand I guess to me it looks like the guy is saying walk on eggshells and have no spine. To me and maybe this is a character flaw of mine but I would like my marriage to start of as to people who want to be together for some of the said reasons. Then work forward and build together not one coddling to the other and putting her on a pedestal. The further you get into a marriage it should be like a team where you build things together including the relationship. Like my parents I suppose not like a guy who thinks spending his life walking on egg shells is a smart thing.

As I said maybe it's my flaw and when I get married this attitude will end up burning me.

[wym]

Complete exact "equality" is impossible, one or the other must dominate.

All too often IMO it's the woman, here as much as back home, but here means you're not doing it right, there it's considered the norm, a man trying to be manly can be seen as neanderthal.

But even when you're "on top", the flip side is taking her needs into consideration, entertain her, try to make her happy, even though - especially because - you don't "have to".

Doing so consistently, actually maintaining awareness mindfulness of that duty is IMO the REAL definition of love, actions not words least of all "feelings". And becomes all the more important once that temporary feeling part of it (pheromones, dopamine etc) has faded.

No doubt about it's work, and it does take two to tango,

[JLCrab]

Hayzoo Christo with 3000+ post since 2014 you are certainly not a loss for words.

[wym]

Well I obviously do have my fans, thanks for keeping tabs on me JL.

[JLCrab]

I thought long before venturing to Thailand that one's credibility regarding one's sex life is inversely proportional to one's willingness to talk about it.

[wym]

That's what's so great about living here, we're free to leave those old misconceptions behind.

And wrt anyone believing me or not, don't have a dog in that fight myself. . .

[JLCrab]

That's what's so great about living here, we're free to leave those old misconceptions behind.

And wrt anyone believing me or not, don't have a dog in that fight myself. . .

Not a misconception then or now; there or here.

[wym]

exceptio probat regulam

[JLCrab]

exceptio probat regulam

No -- at least as far this forum is concerned you are walking proof of the rule.

[wym]

What makes you think I can walk?

[HeavyDrinker]

exceptio probat regulam

Less of the Harry Potter stuff please...

The deal with being here as opposed to 'home' is that many think it makes them a different person from the one they were back at 'home' when all too often it doesn't.

[JLCrab]

What makes you think I can walk?

You live in a 3rd story walk-up.

[wym]

Actually it's five, but maybe my maid is very strong. . .

[JLCrab]

... and maybe you post so much that you don't remember what you have posted.

[wym]

Why would I need to remember?

[JLCrab]

Why would I need to remember?

Posts 1- 3020

[wym]

?

Question was why?

[JSixpack]

Antidote: The Red Pill

[wym]

Antidote: The Red Pill

Sorry not allowed here

[JLCrab]

What makes you think I can walk?

We get ours delivered in those big plastic bottles at B30 each including their bringing them up the stairs to the third floor,

[wym]

And? Perhaps you missed the fact I rent a shophouse, which is odd given I've gone on at length about details on my home many times here.

Add this to your database: http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/713404-renting-a-house-in-bangkok/?p=7603353

I predict the day will come - perhaps in a further incarnation - when you will realize I haven't ever lied about anything.

Truth can be stranger than fiction or haven't you heard?

[JLCrab]

[wym]