Doctor's Orders

[StreetCowboy]

I was undergoing medicinal treatment from the chaps at Boon Rawd, and browsing this forum at the same time.

I chanced to happen upon some remarkably entertaining threads, and thought perhaps, with a jolt from the old electrodes, and a judicious post or two, they could be brought back to life....

But then I thought "Is that what the good doctor would do?

No - of course it's not. He wouldn't give the kiss of life to any old team and let them flounder as before. He'd bring in the best from around the world, he would scour the planet to the ends of the M62 and back to create a veritable dream thread.

But did I have the courage to do the same - to create a best of best thread, with posts stitched together from whatever moribund sepulcher they could be rescued? I knew where to turn for inspiration....

Yes, yes, I would do it....

And so, I give you -

DOCTOR FRANKENSTEIN'S THREAD!

Cobbled together from the salvaged remnants of the long dead and more recently demised - and, perhaps, in the spirit of my compatriot doctors, the imminently fondly remembered.

Perhaps I should put the ball into scrum, as it were, with a couple of examples of my own...

[StreetCowboy]

From the annals of Live Rugby League....

Please forgive some stupid questions, but I have been watching Rugby League lately, and there are two things I don't understand. I played 15-man rugby in the US along with a bit of sevens, so I am familiar with that.

First, what is with the scrums? Two scrums just stand close together, the ball is put in without being contested, and the team putting in the ball takes it into play.

Second, when a guy gets tackled, two or three guys lay on him until after a few moments, the guy getting tacked starts flopping around like a fish out of water, or a rat getting nerve-gassed. What is with all that flopping around?

Back before I was young, and Queen Victoria was our beloved monarch, the Northern Clubs went professional. This, by the way, is some time after the clubs who had previously left the Union to form an Association, and picked up (or rather not picked up) a round ball, had gone professional. Anyway, The Northern Clubs left the Union so that they could pay their players, and they formed a (the) League.

To make the game more entertaining, and thus get more bums on seats, and hence money form the bums to pay the players, they eliminated all the pernicious forward skullduggery of rucks and mauls and scrums. The scrum, in league, is effectively just a way of restarting the game after a team makes a mistake, and keeps the forwards in one place to give the backs more space to run about for a moment. As well as being a way of restarting the game, it is also an abomination in the sight of the Lord, by the way.

as well as eliminating the arcane black arts of the scrum, they also took an axe to the Sodom and Gomorrah of the ruck, as the referees in those days were not as fit as they are now, and were exhausted with all the whistle-blowing. Rather than having a big pile-on and a bit of eye-gouging and ear-biting, and some (hopefully) unseen sleight of hand in the rucks, once the tackle is completed, they just let the man stand up and play the ball. The two or three fellas lying on top of him hold him down for just a moment - as long a moment as they can get away with so that their team mates can get back on side and enjoy a quick cigarette while they recover their breath. Meanwhile the tackled player flops - like a great big silvery salmon - in order to give the impression to the referee that he wants to get up and is being prevented from doing so, in the vain hope of being awarded a penalty so that he does not need to stand up and run straight into two or three blokes twice his size - Again!

So in essence, that's the Northern League for you. A far more entertaining game to watch at the park, but less technical complex. With the excellent TV coverage and telephoto lenses and whatnot, Union can be more interesting on television. Also, when you can't see the whole pitch, you don't really see what's going on with League, whereas often Union really benefits from the sharp focus of the TV camera. When watching on the radio, it is particularly hard to see what's happening, while even the intermittent text commentary you get on this rugby league thread is quite entertaining, I hope.

Probably the most frustrating game of rugby I ever watched was Scotland's first ever world cup win, over Fiji, in the 2008 rugby league world cup. I watched on the latest scores page of the BBC web site, in the Penalty Spot on Sukhumvit Road. I hope the coverage of the 2013 World Cup is better.

SC

Edit: First ever league world cup win; of course up until this last world cup, Scotland had never been knocked out before the quarter-finals of the Union world cup

[StreetCowboy]

From the Field Sports sub-forum... It's an OP, so I can't quote it in the usual manner

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/282880-giving-the-ferret-a-run/#entry2891281

saintofsilence

Platinum Member

Banned

PipPipPipPipPipPip

2,077 posts

Posted 2009-07-23 19:07:35

For me giving my ferret a run once a day keeps him happy but I beleive many people think it should be at least twice .

There are quite a few places for ferret runs in thailand recently I have found sukhumvit has a few places.

How often do you give your Ferret a Run and where do take him for the run.

Also I have known many people over the years that dont take their ferrets for runs instead keep them home and hand feed them ,

surely that isn't enough exercise"

Any way I am intersted to hear from all you ferret owners how you take care of your ferrett.

[StreetCowboy]

If at first you don't succeed, use the boot, and then the heid.

Given the absence of posting in the last eleven years, I am uncertain whether people lack interest in a Best Of Medicine thread, or a lack of imagination to put forward their best curatives and palliatives.  Or maybe there's just been not so many good posts, this last decade or so.

[StreetCowboy]

But should we bring back to life those that have passed long before?

Aye - goferritinabigway!

[KannikaP]

49 minutes ago, StreetCowboy said:

Given the absence of posting in the last eleven years,

Are you saying that YOU, Street Cowboy, have not posted for 11 years?

This month alone, Wet Floors with Don G, yourself about your bike, America being free to Negita, the Universe with Jeff the Chef, and Look at Me with Celsius.......and many more

[StreetCowboy]

Just now, KannikaP said:

Are you saying that YOU, Street Cowboy, have not posted for 11 years?

A comedian is only as good as his straight man, if I can say that without sounding woke.

[KannikaP]

1 minute ago, StreetCowboy said:

A comedian is only as good as his straight man, if I can say that without sounding woke.

Woke? What's that?

[StreetCowboy]

2 minutes ago, KannikaP said:

Are you saying that YOU, Street Cowboy, have not posted for 11 years?

That's a challenge that anyone can easily check, but let's face it, memories of the past are the best memories.

[KannikaP]

19 minutes ago, StreetCowboy said:

That's a challenge that anyone can easily check, but let's face it, memories of the past are the best memories.

I did briefly check, which is why I quoted some of this month's posts from you.

True, you cannot have memories of the future.

[StreetCowboy]

2 minutes ago, KannikaP said:

I did briefly check, which is why I quoted some of this month's posts from you.

True, you cannot have memories of the future.

Sometimes we have to struggle to bring reality round to align with our memories.  But more often, Deja Vu is accidental, and certainly not my favourite bar on that street.

There is no expression in French (to the best of my knowledge) "jamais vu" for something that you have seen everyday but suddenly appears entirely new and novel. 

[GammaGlobulin]

On 3/27/2014 at 10:19 PM, StreetCowboy said:

like a great big silvery salmon

 

Yes.

I agree.

 

There is really NOTHING like a slippery one to make one happy.

 

The salmon is a strange and unique creature.

 

It knows not why it travels around the world, and then returns...

Only to spawn and die, ....

 

After being transformed into its true ugly self.

 

Such an ugly fish, when it returns to die.

 

 

 

Such things happen to VERY GREAT MEN, as well....

 

 

[GammaGlobulin]

Transmogrification was the first thing that came to mind, when reading the above.

 

Nobody enjoys being transmogrified, against their will.

 

Yet, it happens to the best of us, even.

 

Terrible.

Just terrible.

 

 

 

[GammaGlobulin]

17 minutes ago, GammaGlobulin said:

Terrible.

Just terrible.

 

 

So very sad, really, the end of life.....

 

 

 

I feel such great empathy for my friend, Chomsky.

 

I had been dreading the day, for many years, when Noam would no longer be able to speak for us.

 

Such a great man.

 

BUT.....there comes a day when....

 

Even great men look like spent salmon.

 

Life is cruel.

 

Thankfully, there is no God....because.....

I would not wish to think a God could be THIS cruel.

 

We age and die.

But we do not do so for any reason.

And, thankfully, our death is nonsensical.

 

A nonsensical death is just so much easier to bear.....in my thinking.....

 

Don't you agree?

 

 

[StreetCowboy]

4 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

 

So very sad, really, the end of life.....

 

...

 

 

I feel such great empathy for my friend, Chomsky.

 

I had been dreading the day, for many years, when Noam would no longer be able to speak for us.

 

Such a great man.

 

BUT.....there comes a day when....

 

Even great men look like spent salmon.

 

Life is cruel.

 

Thankfully, there is no God....because.....

I would not wish to think a God could be THIS cruel.

 

We age and die.

But we do not do so for any reason.

And, thankfully, our death is nonsensical.

 

A nonsensical death is just so much easier to bear.....in my thinking.....

 

Don't you agree?

 

 

 There are some thoughts - perhaps many - that are not helped by relevant images, and many of us would benefit if you allowed us to keep a slightly looser grip on the miseries and tragedies of the world.

SC

[GammaGlobulin]

On 3/27/2014 at 10:18 PM, StreetCowboy said:

flounder

 

I am just wondering....

 

In the original post, you speak of flounder.

 

And then, in the next post, you speak of salmon.

 

And, you also mention electrodes.

 

So, did they do something to you, using electrodes, that caused you to have fish on the brain?

 

Or, was this mention of flounder and salmon completely intentional?

 

THIS....is a prize flounder....by the way....

 

 

 

Note:  The evolutionary advantage pictured here should be both obvious and also serve as confirmation of a very old, yet valid, theory.