Renting a car, thai mother of young boy refusing to use infant seat

[Evolare]

I bet she's from Isaan

555 ?

Not necessarily my fiancees sister-in-law is a university professor born and raised in bkk...and she didnt know better either!

[Evolare]

My kids never went in car seats.we couldn't afford one.

When they were very small I'd make sure the were in the arms of their mother in the back. When about 2, on a cushion with seatbelt.

When on a motorbike always in between us adults.

The farang way of thinking is over the top.

Op you worry too much, no sense of adventure.

Did you sit in a safety chair when a kid?

Really tell that to my neighbour who lost his 2 kids and wife because they werent buckled up...and many of others who die in traffic in thailand every year. Edited May 9, 2014 by Evolare

[RichBKK]

They don't do safety here

Car safety in Thailand is sitting in the back and that's it

We have one and sometimes I make a fuss and we use it (more when the FIL drives) but the MIL loathes the car seat. But I don't drive so what say I have is a bit limited. Do try of course but it's in one ear and out the other. They see it as an inconvenient object that takes up space in the back seat

Some things about Thailand annoy me. This is one. Another is the casual discrimination against darker skinned types, I edited a piece today that had 'despite her dark skin, such and such was recognised as the worlds most beautiful woman'. That sort of thing is standard. But what can you do? The education simply isn't there in some things and the mindset is of a que sera sera type that we can't change. Learnt through long experience that argument is generally futile

Edited May 9, 2014 by RichBKK

[Rorri]

krisb, on 16 Apr 2014 - 17:39, said:krisb, on 16 Apr 2014 - 17:39, said:

Your BIG problem if there's an accident and your the driver.

Tell the stupid mother it's the car seat or nothing, and she has to pay for the hire of it. At least he has to be belted in the back seat.

He's in a no win situation... remember this is a country where they carry the babe's on a motorbike. You CAN NOT tell a Thai they are wrong... they KNOW they are right... If you haven't already been labelied stupid, crazy farang, then you will be soon.

Edited May 9, 2014 by Rorri

[smileydude]

Unfortunately for thai children and ignorant parents there are no thai laws requiring children under a certain age to be strapped to an infant seat and the haughty laugh is because the mother is following the thai dictum "Don't see the coffin, don't weep". Basically meaning until she actually see's her baby injured or dead because of her failure to strap them in she doesn't feel the need.

In the event of an accident since there are no laws requiring infant seats you are not breaking any criminal or traffic laws.

The car's insurance can deny you coverage if the baby is injured or killed though if they state it is required.

Go with your sense of responsibility.

As for the mother you might want to do a 100km-0 test brake really hard and have the mother's face smack into the back seat for a reality lesson while the baby is safely strapped in.

Edited May 9, 2014 by smileydude

[MantisMan]

Brought to mind the book "Superfreakanomics". They used statistical tools to examine everyday things. One conclusion borne out was that child car seats are no safer than just using regular seat belt on the kid. Plus huge percentage of child seats are not properly installed anyway.

That's actually a good idea. Why not just have the kid wear seat belts if he's old/big enough?

[johnlandy]

It will go like this.

The cousin and her son will go with u in the car....you have the infantseat....with some luck, 40%, he will sit in it....you stop somewhere....back in the car after sometime...the game will definatively be on......arguments will arise....ur wife not siding with u....u think.....oh what the heck ....its not my kid......u will get annoyed more and more.....u will give up arguing.....everybody happy.....only not u......i could go on and on....

Its just not there....i never drove with my children on mbike....bought a car when we had our firstborn....bought a infantseat...later 2 more......the moment i left....guess what......their way is the only way.....the car is a small confined playgarden...

Good luck...

The kid either goes in a car seat or leave the kid and it's stupid mother at home.

Sounds like they invited themselves in any event.....

[misterphil]

I had a similar situation with my wife's younger sister and her baby niece. They would try to stand up on the back seat of the car while I was driving. I just stopped the car and told my wife this. Get the kids to sit down and put their seat belts on or get them out of the car. Its as simple as ABC, belts on or get out.

[johnlandy]

Do you have any balls?

If you do, do it YOUR way, the right way.

You may, of course, be required by the hire company's rules to have a child seat - I don't know.

In any event, what were you going to do - go back to your missus and say "75% of posters on Thai Visa.com say we must have a child seat"

It is you against the Thais. Concede now for an easy life or put your foot down (if you believe it) and say the cousin and kid can only come if a child seat is installed and used at all times.

i wish you well, you are in a no win situation.

You may, of course, be required by the hire company's rules to have a child seat - I don't know. This is Thailand, the rental companies don't give a sh1t about anything other than money.

[edwinchester]

My kids never went in car seats.we couldn't afford one.

When they were very small I'd make sure the were in the arms of their mother in the back. When about 2, on a cushion with seatbelt.

When on a motorbike always in between us adults.

The farang way of thinking is over the top.

Op you worry too much, no sense of adventure.

Did you sit in a safety chair when a kid?

So when your kids were old enough to sit up you put them in a seat belt. Why if farang thinking is over the top? Or do you know it really is safer but don't like to admit it?

[ggt]

To defy Thai logic is futile...you will be assimilated...

[graham66]

Show them this video:

[cocopops]

Nevertheless I am interested in what would happen to me (since I am the driver) or to the person responsible for the young boy if we had an accident

Legally, who knows. But it would likely be the first thing you think of every day after waking up in the morning for the rest of your life. "Why on earth did I not insist..."

I'm a stubborn bastard about seat-belts, helmets, driving while pissed and other road safety matters. Because they are not matters of culture or taste - they're questions of physics and probability. Be reasonable, but don't give in.

[kamahele]

With our 4 year old nephew, if he is in my car, he must be belted in both in the front and back seat or he doesn't ride in my car. His parents don't have a car or a car seat so he rides with no helmet on the motorbike sometimes which gives me heart palpitations.

[bowerboy]

It will go like this.

The cousin and her son will go with u in the car....you have the infantseat....with some luck, 40%, he will sit in it....you stop somewhere....back in the car after sometime...the game will definatively be on......arguments will arise....ur wife not siding with u....u think.....oh what the heck ....its not my kid......u will get annoyed more and more.....u will give up arguing.....everybody happy.....only not u......i could go on and on....

Its just not there....i never drove with my children on mbike....bought a car when we had our firstborn....bought a infantseat...later 2 more......the moment i left....guess what......their way is the only way.....the car is a small confined playgarden...

Good luck...

So very true!! My experience exactly!

[petertucker48]

Show her something like this:

Or more gore if possible.

[ChrisKC]

Even if you were not legally responsible, as the driver you can consider yourself personally responsible. No passenger travels in my car without wearing their seatbelt. The child should be in a safety seat end of story. Don't leave without one!! It's not your driving that will kill your passengers!!

[joshstiles]

Grow some balls.

Tell them the kid and its mother are uninvited. End of story.

Share a vehicle with some uneducated buffoon who considers you stupid for thinking about the safety of her kid. No chance, tell the simpleton to F off.

....yeah...some balls!!!

[indothai]

It's a mixture of ignorance, shyness, and lack of discipline. This country is in complete lack of discipline, just look around.

This behavior is most prominent Thailand, Indonesia, and Malaysia (i'm only counting ASEAN countries). But aside from economic reasons, it's ignorance, shyness, and lack of discipline.

My wife is Thai and we have a 1 year old.... guaranteed that it will be the only 3 of us going anywhere because anyone else couldn't handle the crying of a baby. It takes discipline and patience to teach a baby to sit in a car seat.

My kid, my car, everyone else can go and get splattered for all I care.

For those of you still having a tough time getting your kid to sit in the car seat.... three words: discipline, consistency, and patience. If your wife is in the back seat with the baby, she can do the job of "talking" and "playing" with the baby while you drive. My son was a pain in the beginning, but at 1yr now, he's understands where he belongs when he gets into the car.

Good luck.

[kennypowers]

Google 'car accident victim no seatbelt'. Show them the pictures. Do you want to end up like that? No. Get in the carseat then.

[thaicookingchef]

Who mind what the stupid think ! You decide or they ride another car to die. I still cannot understand how foreigners can accept to deal with these monkeys.

[Neeranam]

I bet she's from Isaan

555 ?

Not necessarily my fiancees sister-in-law is a university professor born and raised in bkk...and she didnt know better either!

Do you think there are no unis in Isarn?

There are large cities too like Khon Kaen.

Not all country bumpkins.

[spidermike007]

Never allow the mother of the child to have the child dictate to her. Just say no. She is learning to bow down to the boy as the superior gender. Do not allow this to happen. And do not allow her to put his life at risk. Sheer, unadulterated ignorance must be always be trumped, when it comes to safety. Perhaps making her aware of the fact Thailand has the 2nd highest road deaths per capita in the world might wake her ass up. Something needs to. This IS worth a major argument over. This a huge. Both of your lives are severely diminished if he should die in a car wreck, right?

[laislica]

Sorry I did not read all the posts.

My wife said that a reason not to have a child seat in a car is that it makes the car "too busy".

Should you need to squeeeeeeze yet another passenger in or add a bunch more shopping, a child seat could make things difficult.

So easy life and happiness rules.

As you have observed, safety is not important - what a pity.

Do remember that white lies are good to avoid confrontation.

Maybe it's a rule of the hire company?

(A good lie is a simple lie and told with a kind smile)

Not an easy situation and good on you for being such a responsible person.

[DrTuner]

When it came to buckling up in the car, I made a few high-g maneuvers and lo and behold, every one was strapped in in no time. I guess a few low grade bumps in the head gets through even the thickest scull.

[lisu]

It may sound daft, but in some situations such as this, advice probably carries far more weight coming from a Doctor, Teacher, etc. - someone in authority, and that has the image in society of someone who is privy to a great deal of knowledge. If you have the opportunity, take her to have a quick word with someone such as this - hopefully, they will recommend the car seat, and she'll most likely take note.

Even if the opportunity doesn't arise, or if she refuses to listen, it will help a great deal to make the seat seem like a fun game for the child. Make it seem special - a special seat just for him

Edited May 9, 2014 by lisu

[unanimosity]

Dogs, kids, they're all the same; either you train them or they'll train you because somebody is going to get trained.

As for this situation, the reason they don't wear seatbelts is because their lack of experience and no situational awareness cannot conceive of why anybody should wear a seatbelt. Your job is to provide the experience and situational awareness. Nail the brakes at just 25 kph and when they pick themselves up off the floor in a state of shock you explain that one never knows when a dog or child will run into the street. This works, guaranteed from experience. Oh, it is a good idea to tell your lady in the passenger seat to tighten up her belt before you nail the brakes.

[unanimosity]

When it came to buckling up in the car, I made a few high-g maneuvers and lo and behold, every one was strapped in in no time. I guess a few low grade bumps in the head gets through even the thickest scull.

Case in point. There you go, just what the doctor ordered.

[unanimosity]

Sorry I did not read all the posts.

My wife said that a reason not to have a child seat in a car is that it makes the car "too busy".

Should you need to squeeeeeeze yet another passenger in or add a bunch more shopping, a child seat could make things difficult.

So easy life and happiness rules.

As you have observed, safety is not important - what a pity.

Do remember that white lies are good to avoid confrontation.

Maybe it's a rule of the hire company?

(A good lie is a simple lie and told with a kind smile)

Not an easy situation and good on you for being such a responsible person.

And the reason for wimping out and not taking charge of the situation is, what...some kind of metrosexual code of ethics?

[Gandtee]

I made my toddler Thai nephew a highchair so that he would learn to feed himself, so his mother would not have to follow him around feeding him when he felt like it. It worked great and he did what it was intended to do. The biggest problem was with the neighbours, who a accused the mother of cruelty. She ignored them. He and later his brother both grew up knowing that their mother would not be at their beck and call all of the time. Eighteen years later she still has the highchair.It is difficult to overcome bigotry, but it can be overcome.