Divorcing and messy

[ozyjon]

Who are these people, where do they come from, there should be a shame register put up some where, i don't want to go there (the love emotion train) but also i want to have some fun but i really don't want to go down the emotion roller coaster, this business just repeat itself so many times, it's like cancer, meet a nice girl, boom boom boom, then pay up, where is the love the buddha kindness, it doesn't exist, it's all about the money, it sickens me, maybe it's time to go elsewhere.

[cheeryble]

Find a decent woman and they want more or less what women everywhere want , with the bonus that (if you're not dumb) what you say ultimately goes.

Why shouldn't it.

Thai women may test the water and try it on a bit but the smarter farang knows that a clear NO…..if he is generally fair…..only brings a day of a long face then back to normal.

Not all about the money though undoubtedly a secure future must come into it.

Whenever I arrive at my wife's house I am overwhelmed with warmth and love, and it has nothing at all to do with money which she knows I am careful with for all of our ultimate benefit.

As the Bard said everyone must play their part, and the man has to play his too.

Edited April 26, 2014 by cheeryble

[onlycw]

For your children's (born and unborn) sake, remove yourself from her house and preserve your assets.

Such a mad person may squander it all in a heart beat.

The way to get a divorce is NOT to be generous. She needs to be hurting financially to agree to the settlement, that has been my own lesson (in the USA).

All the best, stay away from this violent maniac and see if you could get a court approval for taking the son?

[kimbathewhitelion]

Just wondering, are Thai lawyers smarter (or slightly more competent) than Thai police? Will need a lawyer when I get back, just don't know what to expect.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[farang000999]

From all your previous topics I am guessing you will probably end up with a third child with this woman. It sounds like a very dysfuntional relationship.

[ravip]

No offense but it seems like you let what was a small flame turn into a raging inferno. The whole idea of male/female relationships is a lot different here than the developed world. You had the chance -- and the responsibility -- to lay down the law early on and let her and her family know who was calling the shots. You didn't do that and now you see what has happens. You basically need to be the exact opposite of the person you have been to this point if you want this thing to end on better terms.

The whole idea of male/female relationships is a lot different here than the developed world. You had the chance -- and the responsibility -- to lay down the law early on and let her and her family know who was calling the shots. You didn't do that and now you see what has happens. You basically need to be the exact opposite of the person you have been to this point if you want this thing to end on better terms.

Could you please explain in detail the above and clarify how it would help the OP or anyone else?

Thank you

[ravip]

Who are these people, where do they come from, there should be a shame register put up some where, i don't want to go there (the love emotion train) but also i want to have some fun but i really don't want to go down the emotion roller coaster, this business just repeat itself so many times, it's like cancer, meet a nice girl, boom boom boom, then pay up, where is the love the buddha kindness, it doesn't exist, it's all about the money, it sickens me, maybe it's time to go elsewhere

It is better to avoid making quotes like "where is the love the buddha kindness"

As the other party could also quote similarly...

Luke 6:29 New International Version (NIV)

If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.

[phil2]

Everything you described in your post happened to me, and I kept forgiving her despite all the many useful replies I got. Things never returned to the way they were, instead, they kept getting worse.

She cannot do anything to you. This is Thailand, so she can't force you to give her 50% of your salary.

For your own safety, move out of the house, buy supplies for your son, and don't give them anything else if you can stomach it. I pray God gives you the strength to make the right decision.

Edited May 19, 2014 by phil2

[Trembly]

Document and record everything.

Each scratch, each fight, each everything. Get it all down in photos, video, voice recording or diary with dates and times.

At the very least keep a daily diary. That way, when it comes to a cross-examination her story will more than likely be inconsistent because she won't have written anything down whereas your version of events will be consistent because you did write everything down.

Get rid of her and make sure that she can be kept at arms length if necessary. It's for your own good, not to mention the welfare of your child. Can you imagine your child's life without you there? How are you supposed to look after him if you're a long way away, stressed out, ill or worse?

I dread to think of what she might do to her son if he ever pisses her off.

With documented evidence it'll be a cakewalk for any half decent country lawyer.

Edited May 19, 2014 by Trembly

[bkkheat]

Wow,

I thought I had a problem with my upcoming divorce.

Mate just leave now and speak to her by phone only until she has calmed down a little.

Hang in there mate and get out of there asap.

[Hermes100]

Leave now take son or leave and go back to home country forget about this family or they will kill you

i hate this cowardly sort of advice. And it's very wrong.I have been in and out of thailand many years and helped many people.This is cowardly,sheep like advice. " do not seek justice,let the bad guy's win, run away like sheep"

[battersea]

My wife doesn't gamble or drink but despite doing a little bit of promotional work she has never worked hard in her life.She doesn't allow anyone to talk back to her and she always gets her own way. In a word..emotional immaturity.Her other fault is that when she has an argument she cannot calm down...she just gets angrier and angrier. If i continue talking to her when she is shouting she will get more and more furious. If i remain silent it's the same.If i point out that my son is nearby and can hear everything then it infuriates her more.

She tells me she is leaving, then she tells me i have to pick one of my kids to leave with, the. she tells me to get out of the house!

She doesn't squander money and her family aren't alcoholics but i keep thinking there is a way to solve this but it seems that if i do not bow down to her demands then she blows her top.

I want to be near to my kids but she wants me far away with visitation on her terms and to pay for my mistake !!!!

[farangabroad]

Not sure why so many here are encouraging police involvement. Document your injuries but don't think the police will side with a farang against a Thai.

The best advice has already been given: RUN!

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I would let her keep the house, if you can take the financial hit. It would be difficult and time consuming to get any money back for the house, villages tend to have their own laws.

It's also more important that you try to protect your own personal safety, no one will win if you get killed, or you kill her defending yourself. The more meetings you have the more threats and violence you will be subjected to. You've seen the warning signs, take note, prepare and act accordingly.

You have to 'bite the bullet' and leave ASAP with your son and forget about the unborn. Leave her some money, say 10K-20k max a month and give her a call in a month or two to sort out a deal if you think she may calm down, otherwise leave it alone and enjoy the company of your son.

Leave her nothing, then she won't be able to hire a lawyer or hit-man.

[uptheos]

"Then she returned with my phones, passport and wallet...she said i had to agree to her demands and then go to the police station and promise to .."

Why on earth has she got free access to your wallet, passport and phones?

Has your son got a passport in your possession (your nationality)?

If so suitcase and away in 15 minutes out of this country ASAP. Leave everything behind and don't look back.

Worry about everything else once these two steps have been achieved!

[Twice shy]

My wife doesn't gamble or drink but despite doing a little bit of promotional work she has never worked hard in her life.She doesn't allow anyone to talk back to her and she always gets her own way. In a word..emotional immaturity.Her other fault is that when she has an argument she cannot calm down...she just gets angrier and angrier. If i continue talking to her when she is shouting she will get more and more furious. If i remain silent it's the same.If i point out that my son is nearby and can hear everything then it infuriates her more.

She tells me she is leaving, then she tells me i have to pick one of my kids to leave with, the. she tells me to get out of the house!

She doesn't squander money and her family aren't alcoholics but i keep thinking there is a way to solve this but it seems that if i do not bow down to her demands then she blows her top.

I want to be near to my kids but she wants me far away with visitation on her terms and to pay for my mistake !!!!

So after all these months you are still with her !!!

What you have is a ungrateful ignorant nut case living with you

Get a grip of your life and leave her ass behind

Time to man up

[Lex Talionis]

Last November you said your wife told you she was pregnant. Surely she has delivered by now or is just about to. Has that changed the situation at all? Were you (will you be) allowed to be there when your daughter was born? Seems to me a newborn complicates matters greatly. Wish you luck.

[battersea]

my daughter was born in June and she is now 3 months old.

I was there at the birth and booked private doctors and the best level of service (50,000 bht) for the birth.

Admittedly she probably gets tired and snaps at me.. Sometimes i snap back...and then all hell breaks loose..

She cannot control her temper and there is no reasoning with her..

Now i have left, she has taken all my personal docs, passport, kids birth certificates and has told me that when my wages come she will take 50,000 bht to look after the kids and then i can have them back..

Same old threats....

she told me i could take the kids ..when i asked for it in writing she told me i could never take them ...If she did give me them i would be on the first plane out..

[confused american 48]

dear sir

i hate to hear this as i went through the same except they did hire two people to murder me thank god it did not work one of them hired killers now dead and me disabled i still want to get the divorce so i can marry a real girl and real wife but i know if i go back to thailand i am a dead man its so sad i am wanting to marry a good girl and i'm stuck with the devil i do not get to see my kids at all and i lost everything i had i was lucky to get out with my life if you don't leave she will more than likely have you killed it seems like a thai thing

[Showbags]

Ca48.....was the attack the result of disability ? How did the other dude die ?

[Tony125]

my daughter was born in June and she is now 3 months old.

I was there at the birth and booked private doctors and the best level of service (50,000 bht) for the birth.

Admittedly she probably gets tired and snaps at me.. Sometimes i snap back...and then all hell breaks loose..

She cannot control her temper and there is no reasoning with her..

Now i have left, she has taken all my personal docs, passport, kids birth certificates and has told me that when my wages come she will take 50,000 bht to look after the kids and then i can have them back..

Same old threats....

she told me i could take the kids ..when i asked for it in writing she told me i could never take them ...If she did give me them i would be on the first plane out..

This is I think the 2nd time you say she has taken all your documents =passport kids birth certificates ect. Why do you keep giving her axcess to your personal property?

[khunpa]

my daughter was born in June and she is now 3 months old.

I was there at the birth and booked private doctors and the best level of service (50,000 bht) for the birth.

Admittedly she probably gets tired and snaps at me.. Sometimes i snap back...and then all hell breaks loose..

She cannot control her temper and there is no reasoning with her..

Now i have left, she has taken all my personal docs, passport, kids birth certificates and has told me that when my wages come she will take 50,000 bht to look after the kids and then i can have them back..

Same old threats....

she told me i could take the kids ..when i asked for it in writing she told me i could never take them ...If she did give me them i would be on the first plane out..

Honestly, you should read that above loud to yourself and if you are of right mind, then you will know exactly what to do.

Good luck with your new life!

[battersea]

Ok...

enough is enough...

My wife says she will not renew my O Marriage visa in January next year.

So where does that leave me ?

Do i have to start getting a different visa ?

Can I get a visa to look after my two kids if i am not divorced yet ?

Do i have to get an Ed visa ?

Her parents are holding my kids Thai and UK passports and their birth certificates at my wife's request..Do I have to go and get copies made to apply for a different visa ?