Does the up to you syndrome exists also in other Asian country's or only in Thailand ?

[liddelljohn]

If my wife or mia Noi say ''up to you'' warning bells go off as its usually meant in a negative way I have learned to reshape the question to '' what do YOU want to do or what do YOU think ?'' and pin her answer down ,, then i can move on in relative peace because she cant loose face now ..........

[whaleboneman]

When my girlfriend says it, I always remind her - "up to we". She says it a lot less now.

[CryWolf]

When my girlfriend says it, I always remind her - "up to we". She says it a lot less now.

Her english will never improve if you keep saying it like that

[forumuser10]

Try talking to other people than low educated people from Isaan,and bar girls...

[farang000999]

Sandman77, I'm under the impression that many western men come here because they like the fact that Thai women are so unlike western women -- they don't "talk back", they're feminine, submissive, cater to their every need. That everything in a relationship, for the man, is "up to you".

What Thailand do you live in??

Thai women submissive? You really need to get to know a few...

Both are correct.

I think the change from "up to you" to the matriarchal authority figure happens some time around the wedding bell sound.

No. It comes when she gets knocked up.

[farang000999]

Try talking to other people than low educated people from Isaan,and bar girls...

Someone posts this type of comment in nearly every single topic.

It is completely out of place this time.

[kaldoverde]

Actually I lived in the Philippines for 2 years and it's even worse. In Thailand it's 'up to you', in the Philippines it's 'Yes, sir'.

These are countries where the majority of the people (i.e. the poor lower classes) are not supposed to question things. People are quite afraid of confrontation in these countries, and will do anything they can to avoid it. That's why finding someone capable of critical thinking is so difficult. Then again it's not the person's fault, rather the way the education and social system work.

You can actually give wrong orders to your employees and even if they know what they're doing doesn't make sense they still won't question you due to fear of confrontation.

Congrats...

Creepiest avatar yet!

Ouch, my self esteem. This is how I look in real life mate. 5555

[slipperylobster]

The philippines also has their own version of "No have"

They say,"That's Unavailable, Sir"

Happens all the time, when you order something.

[Greg Nixon]

It is called passive aggressive. They agree with you but do something else. My Thai wife has tried this on me a number of times. I just say, " Of course it is up to me, who else would it be up to ? "

Then I reduce the amount of cash i give her. She hasn't said, "It's up to you." for quite some time.

[Greg Nixon]

The philippines also has their own version of "No have"

They say,"That's Unavailable, Sir"

Happens all the time, when you order something.

I have ordered three times at a restaurant in Thailand. Each time a different waitress. One even spoke very good English. I say " I do not want that because I am avoiding spice. " They say," You can order that without spice. " Each time I fall for it. What they don't tell me is that you can order it without spice but you will NOT get it without spice.

So it is with Thai women. You can order them without spice but you will not get them that way.

I have noticed that those blow up plastic dolls never argue, however the spice is missing.

[Greg Nixon]

I like it when you are on your first date and make a play for the lady She smiles and says

UP TO YOU

That has its merits

That is a two edged sword mate. She knows you will be seduced by the tender trap.

[thaibeachlovers]

Sandman77, I'm under the impression that many western men come here because they like the fact that Thai women are so unlike western women -- they don't "talk back", they're feminine, submissive, cater to their every need. That everything in a relationship, for the man, is "up to you".

<they don't "talk back", they're feminine, submissive, cater to their every need. > ​

Thanks for the laugh. That must be one of the biggest myths ever invented.

Feminine is as far as the reality goes, but don't "talk back", submissive, cater to their every need. 5555555555555

[MrWorldwide]

Just as I've never had an issue with being referred to as 'Farang', I dont get particularly upset about 'up to you', Both can be spat at you in obvious resentment or it can be offered as nothing more than a manner of speech : we have much the same experience in Australia with the word '&lt;deleted&gt;'. A Greek guy in Marrickville yesterday expressed surprise at my knowledge of classic 70s cars with the phrase 'But you're not a &lt;deleted&gt; !' - we both laughed, but that's a term that could still get me punched in the mouth in certain parts of Australia, depending on how I used it. It;s not exactly the N-word, but for many older Australians from the Mediteranean it was seen as an insult - times change, I guess.

To answer the OPs question, I've seen a variant of it from some Malays, but its more 'Mai pen rai' than 'up to you'. Ethnic Chinese, IME, are never that blase about anything resembling a negotiation or a business transaction - YMMV.

[ZigZagMan]

I met a bargirl that had "UP TO YOU" tattooed on her arm.

Classy.

[samran]

It's the Thai version of the Jedi mind trick.

It essentially means 'no'

[elgenon]

it is the SAME as in the West. We are supposed to know What they want and do THAT! Haven't you guys figured that out yet?

[GOLDBUGGY]

Sorry but what does a Catholic Country have to do with "Up To You"? I don't see any connection here at all! Maybe I need to smoke something first.

Poland is also a very Catholic Country. So are you suggesting the same applies to Poland to? How about Italy? I heard they are quite Catholic, especially in Rome, with the Pope living next door.

But...as the Man Said...it is "Up To You".

[GOLDBUGGY]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Indonesian women say this a lot also.

"Can someone please explain me the difference filipina and Thai women"?

Philippine Women have bigger tits

They Do???

Go Figure!

[GOLDBUGGY]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Yes, in Cambodia and Philippines. width=19 alt=whistling.gif>

To say the least, in Cambodia. They put the Thais to shame when it comes to "Up to You". Really, really common there and in no way limited to women.

In fact I scarely notice it in Thailand, probably because it is so much less here than in Cambodia.

In Cambodia (and I would suspect also in Thailand) it is, BTW, in no way an indication of submissiveness. More like passive-aggressiveness. The proper translation of "up to you" being "I have a definite and strong opinion/preference which I am not going to tell you, you'll have to figure it out on your own". And woe be unto you if you don't.... alt=thumbsup.gif width=25 height=19>

I guess a lot like a Western Woman when she says 'You know Damned well what is wrong!". When you don't!

[ZigZagMan]

"Up to you". That's keeping it simple.

I once asked my western girlfriend, "what do you want!?"

She replied, " I don't know! But if I did, you wouldn't be able to give it to me!"

[Mentors]

"Do i have to pay for this new car in your show room or can i just sit in the Ferrari and drive freely away?"

"Up to You".

[A1Str8]

Up to you, or depends on you..........

The other day I asked my wife, would you like to go out for dinner?

The answer was......Depends on you, my love.

OK, then get dressed so we go out.

Sorry, my love I feel tired..........

I rest my case..........

I think they use the expression just to make you feel better, or in charge.

At the end, it's what they want..............

I would have gone out alone then.

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[NanLaew]

You would think that after 10 years, the OP wouldn't need to be asking every morning, "How much?"

[NanLaew]

Oh yeah... regarding the Philippines and any differences, they both have feet on one end.

[forumuser10]

Try talking to other people than low educated people from Isaan,and bar girls...

Someone posts this type of comment in nearly every single topic.

It is completely out of place this time.

Lets be real here. The majority of all foreigners never come in contact, or get to know middle/upper class Thais.

The Thais most of us foreigners know, who are open towards us, and easy got get to know, and constantly smile, are the low educated people, who are usually very poor. And probably 80% of all foreigners are married a partner who fits this criteria.

Nothing wrong with marry a poor low educated Thai, but to think you have accurate knowledge of the Thai society as a whole, based on limited experience is just foolish.