What happens when you go to meet your maker?

[Rorri]

Obviously a slow day, but I was thinking what happens to my Thai wife once I kick the bucket. How long can she survive, and then what happens to her. I am starting to think I have been selfish and thinking mostly about how easy it is for me to live and retire here. I am now seriously thinking we should move back to Oz, where even if she ends up on minimum wages/dole she will still be far better off than she would ever be in Thailand. What do some of you think, considering some of you also have kids, how long would your saving last, then what. Some may have businesses but can your Thai family run them without you.

[pigeonjake]

when im gone,,,

probly family coming round who she has never met trying to get her to give lend money to them,

at the moment when people ask she says jake has to go to work to earn it so should you,

but if im not around more presure on her bless her,,

jake

[geronimo]

Think what you think and do what you do. Then you will have a past present and future.

[sirineou]

It is something that it is strong in my mind also. This is not a thing I considered when I married a girl younger than me, but it it is inevitable that I will be checking out before her, and as we are very close and I Know my passing will not be easy on her, the thought of it stresses me out.

These are some of the things I have done to insure some degree of security for my Family once I am gone.

Firstly I made sure that we stay long enough in the US for my wife to become a US citizen which she now is, This will give her the ability to come back to the US when ever she wants if she ever finds the need. , and being able to manage any wealth we have there,

Second, while in the US I made sure she acquired a trade, This gives her the ability to earn a living independent of me.

Third, we will not burn all bridges in the US, WE will maintain a residency there which we will rent , and let it pay for it's self, available for when needed.

We have a small Home in Thailand where her sister lives and where we live when there. We are slowly building a second home next to it, should be finished in a couple of years, we are finishing portions as we have money to do,, so so that when we are finished it will be debt free.

Also Her elderly parents have a house in the village that her and her sister will inherit when the inlaws pass away. This will wive her a Home to live in Thailand, Two properties for income, and a home to live in the US if need be.

When we do out taxes every year, she pays in to the Social security system , so that when she comes of age, she will at least receive the minimum SS monthly payment,

My Union retirement has the option that I take a reduced monthly payment but my wife keeps my pension after I die, ( that should screw them up, since my wife is a lot younger than me ) it is not a lot of money but it will be a secure monthly income.

But of all the things I did I think the most important is that I helped have the ability to earn a living on her own,

All these things combined, should provide for her after I am gone, But even so, I still cant get over the the thought that one day I will have to leave my wife to fend for her self, and it is not an easy thought,

I know it is not a healthy train of thought, and that it is something that I will have to come to terms with. But as of yet when ever the thought raises it's self in my mind, it stresses the hell out of me.

[i claudius]

Mine is well provided for and her familly are not badly off ,she will build a bungalow on her land and work for her sisters buisness ,or even live with her sister ,i have no worries at all ,thank God.

[Rorri]

sirineou, on 25 Apr 2014 - 17:30, said:

It is something that it is strong in my mind also. This is not a thing I considered when I married a girl younger than me, but it it is inevitable that I will be checking out before her, and as we are very close and I Know my passing will not be easy on her, the thought of it stresses me out.

These are some of the things I have done to insure some degree of security for my Family once I am gone.

Firstly I made sure that we stay long enough in the US for my wife to become a US citizen which she now is, This will give her the ability to come back to the US when ever she wants if she ever finds the need. , and being able to manage any wealth we have there,

Second, while in the US I made sure she acquired a trade, This gives her the ability to earn a living independent of me.

Third, we will not burn all bridges in the US, WE will maintain a residency there which we will rent , and let it pay for it's self, available for when needed.

We have a small Home in Thailand where her sister lives and where we live when there. We are slowly building a second home next to it, should be finished in a couple of years, we are finishing portions as we have money to do,, so so that when we are finished it will be debt free.

Also Her elderly parents have a house in the village that her and her sister will inherit when the inlaws pass away. This will wive her a Home to live in Thailand, Two properties for income, and a home to live in the US if need be.

When we do out taxes every year, she pays in to the Social security system , so that when she comes of age, she will at least receive the minimum SS monthly payment,

My Union retirement has the option that I take a reduced monthly payment but my wife keeps my pension after I die, ( that should screw them up, since my wife is a lot younger than me ) it is not a lot of money but it will be a secure monthly income.

But of all the things I did I think the most important is that I helped have the ability to earn a living on her own,

All these things combined, should provide for her after I am gone, But even so, I still cant get over the the thought that one day I will have to leave my wife to fend for her self, and it is not an easy thought,

I know it is not a healthy train of thought, and that it is something that I will have to come to terms with. But as of yet when ever the thought raises it's self in my mind, it stresses the hell out of me.

Thank you for you sensible reply, much unlike the first two. I glad I am not alone in my thoughts... Live long.

[swissie]

If OP would ask this question to his Thai-Wife, she would probably answer "may pen rai, you think too much" and hand him over a book titled "Buddhism for beginners".

Cheers.

[geriatrickid]

I have a will. I have done the best I can do to set out what will be done. It will depend upon the family members who will be executors. I know they will do the right thing.

I do not have a spouse, nor children. Much easier for me. All I care about is the well being of my companion animals. I have done the best I can to ensure they will have a good life should I predecease my loved ones. Fortunately, my family think the same way, even if some are a tad greedy.

[Rorri]

swissie, on 25 Apr 2014 - 19:05, said:

If OP would ask this question to his Thai-Wife, she would probably answer "may pen rai, you think too much" and hand him over a book titled "Buddhism for beginners".

Cheers.

Well, as usual we have someone with nothing sensible to add, but just for you, when I do mention it, she gets angry... she tells me I am not allowed to die before her. So swissie, if you live here and have family, what are your plans for their future...or will just leave them with nothing but "mai pen rai."

[sirineou]

sirineou, on 25 Apr 2014 - 17:30, said:

It is something that it is strong in my mind also. This is not a thing I considered when I married a girl younger than me, but it it is inevitable that I will be checking out before her, and as we are very close and I Know my passing will not be easy on her, the thought of it stresses me out.

These are some of the things I have done to insure some degree of security for my Family once I am gone.

Firstly I made sure that we stay long enough in the US for my wife to become a US citizen which she now is, This will give her the ability to come back to the US when ever she wants if she ever finds the need. , and being able to manage any wealth we have there,

Second, while in the US I made sure she acquired a trade, This gives her the ability to earn a living independent of me.

Third, we will not burn all bridges in the US, WE will maintain a residency there which we will rent , and let it pay for it's self, available for when needed.

We have a small Home in Thailand where her sister lives and where we live when there. We are slowly building a second home next to it, should be finished in a couple of years, we are finishing portions as we have money to do,, so so that when we are finished it will be debt free.

Also Her elderly parents have a house in the village that her and her sister will inherit when the inlaws pass away. This will wive her a Home to live in Thailand, Two properties for income, and a home to live in the US if need be.

When we do out taxes every year, she pays in to the Social security system , so that when she comes of age, she will at least receive the minimum SS monthly payment,

My Union retirement has the option that I take a reduced monthly payment but my wife keeps my pension after I die, ( that should screw them up, since my wife is a lot younger than me ) it is not a lot of money but it will be a secure monthly income.

But of all the things I did I think the most important is that I helped have the ability to earn a living on her own,

All these things combined, should provide for her after I am gone, But even so, I still cant get over the the thought that one day I will have to leave my wife to fend for her self, and it is not an easy thought,

I know it is not a healthy train of thought, and that it is something that I will have to come to terms with. But as of yet when ever the thought raises it's self in my mind, it stresses the hell out of me.

Thank you for you sensible reply, much unlike the first two. I glad I am not alone in my thoughts... Live long.

Thank you Rorri

I am sure you are not the only one my friend,

there are many responsible man out there,who love their families and want to do the right thing.

I have met more than a few my self.

It is only that you hear from the "Peter Pans living in neverland" more, because responsible man are well,,, busy being responsible.

A Man's greatest responsibility is to provide for his family, it is only reasonable that such a man would have concerns about his family's well being after he is gone, and would want to make contingency plans.

We all will like to be able to control everything, trust me, no one is more of a control freak than me It is an aspect of my personality that I recognize and try to control ( see a control freak even when it comes to my personality) ,

I do that by trying to give the ones I love the greatest amount of autonomy I can,

Give a Girl a fish and she eats for a day, teach her to fish and she eats for a lifetime

The thought you had about going back to Australia for a while, might be a valid one, (you of course know your circumstances better than anyone)

.

Getting her Australian papers would give her an other option later in life, Learning good English would make her more employable when back in Thailand, Perhaps when in Australia she can go to school and learn a trade.

Any way, your heart is in the right place

Best of Luck

[Rorri]

sirineou, on 25 Apr 2014 - 20:29, said:

Rorri, on 25 Apr 2014 - 17:38, said:

sirineou, on 25 Apr 2014 - 17:30, said:sirineou, on 25 Apr 2014 - 17:30, said:

It is something that it is strong in my mind also. This is not a thing I considered when I married a girl younger than me, but it it is inevitable that I will be checking out before her, and as we are very close and I Know my passing will not be easy on her, the thought of it stresses me out.

These are some of the things I have done to insure some degree of security for my Family once I am gone.

Firstly I made sure that we stay long enough in the US for my wife to become a US citizen which she now is, This will give her the ability to come back to the US when ever she wants if she ever finds the need. , and being able to manage any wealth we have there,

Second, while in the US I made sure she acquired a trade, This gives her the ability to earn a living independent of me.

Third, we will not burn all bridges in the US, WE will maintain a residency there which we will rent , and let it pay for it's self, available for when needed.

We have a small Home in Thailand where her sister lives and where we live when there. We are slowly building a second home next to it, should be finished in a couple of years, we are finishing portions as we have money to do,, so so that when we are finished it will be debt free.

Also Her elderly parents have a house in the village that her and her sister will inherit when the inlaws pass away. This will wive her a Home to live in Thailand, Two properties for income, and a home to live in the US if need be.

When we do out taxes every year, she pays in to the Social security system , so that when she comes of age, she will at least receive the minimum SS monthly payment,

My Union retirement has the option that I take a reduced monthly payment but my wife keeps my pension after I die, ( that should screw them up, since my wife is a lot younger than me ) it is not a lot of money but it will be a secure monthly income.

But of all the things I did I think the most important is that I helped have the ability to earn a living on her own,

All these things combined, should provide for her after I am gone, But even so, I still cant get over the the thought that one day I will have to leave my wife to fend for her self, and it is not an easy thought,

I know it is not a healthy train of thought, and that it is something that I will have to come to terms with. But as of yet when ever the thought raises it's self in my mind, it stresses the hell out of me.

Thank you for you sensible reply, much unlike the first two. I glad I am not alone in my thoughts... Live long.

Thank you Rorri

I am sure you are not the only one my friend,

there are many responsible man out there,who love their families and want to do the right thing.

I have met more than a few my self.

It is only that you hear from the "Peter Pans living in neverland" more, because responsible man are well,,, busy being responsible.

A Man's greatest responsibility is to provide for his family, it is only reasonable that such a man would have concerns about his family's well being after he is gone, and would want to make contingency plans.

We all will like to be able to control everything, trust me, no one is more of a control freak than me It is an aspect of my personality that I recognize and try to control ( see a control freak even when it comes to my personality) ,

I do that by trying to give the ones I love the greatest amount of autonomy I can,

Give a Girl a fish and she eats for a day, teach her to fish and she eats for a lifetime

The thought you had about going back to Australia for a while, might be a valid one, (you of course know your circumstances better than anyone)

.

Getting her Australian papers would give her an other option later in life, Learning good English would make her more employable when back in Thailand, Perhaps when in Australia she can go to school and learn a trade.

Any way, your heart is in the right place

Best of Luck

, you are reading my mind... the Aussie government provides free English lessons, and yes, she will look for employment as well gaining skills she would never get here, it will also be good in that she will see farang do work hard for their money lol. I'm with you, trying to set her up with far more, hopeful much better, options later in life. It really does worry me that when I'm gone that she will end up back in the same village with the same poor life she had before we met, believe me she deserves much more.

[NancyL]

At a minimum, guys, make sure you have a Thai Will to handle your Thai assets and a Will in your home country to handle your assets there. Don't plan on any "trick" moves like leaving your ATM card and the PIN number with the little woman with instructions for her to clean out your sole account right after your death before the bank finds out. For goodness sake, do it right. It's the least you can do for her.

Edited April 25, 2014 by NancyL

[arjunadawn]

Wow, some really thoughtful posts; thank you. These are the real questions and thoughts that haunt our minds late at night, lying in bed, or while watching the person we love water the lawn, or play with the kids. Thanks for saying so much about you- it makes you so real.

I have seen a great deal of death in my life and the one thing I am certain of is it wise and healthy to consider all aspects of it. It sucks. It is scary. It can make a lump form in your own throat, and also seem terrifying and lonely; it will cause you to silently cry. But that which makes life good also makes death good and caring for someone you love by asking the questions now says so much about you. Thanks again for giving me a glimpse into your world tonight.

[Gracas]

Yes we are all going to go and meet Geppotto sooner or later, it would be nice to know that your wife will be able to continue on and not be homeless.

As this could happen at anytime (accident or natural causes) there are a few items that others have already mentioned that should be addressed.

Will - Both in Thailand and any other country that you have assets / insurance in.

Does your wife have a good understanding of your financial position and what to do (I know most do not like to disclose too much, I am one of them) or at least where to start and who to contact.

As you get older you tend to plan for this more, but if you have a wife / family, never too early to start.

[thaibeachlovers]

It's something that also makes me concerned for my wife's future. Like you, I didn't think about it much before we got married.

I think if I could go back in the time machine, I wouldn't marry her for just such a reason.

However, in the real world, I just do the best I can to make her happy and hope she has a good life after I'm gone.

[CryWolf]

What if she goes first? Who's going to do the cooking and cleaning?

Sent from my HTC One using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[rhythmworx]

Have you not arranged an escape plan for her incase one day she needs it?

Edited April 26, 2014 by rhythmworx

[Ulysses G.]

I have a will. I have done the best I can do to set out what will be done. It will depend upon the family members who will be executors. I know they will do the right thing.

I do not have a spouse, nor children. Much easier for me. All I care about is the well being of my companion animals. I have done the best I can to ensure they will have a good life should I predecease my loved ones. Fortunately, my family think the same way, even if some are a tad greedy.

Good for you. What happens to animals without a home in Thailand is often terrible. Thai people will feed them, but if they need medical attention they are screwed and an animal that has been loved all its life is left totally alone. I don't understand how people can abandon their animals when their chances of a decent life are so dismal.

[krisb]

Getting the wife and certainly any children you have with her ,citizenship to your home country is a must. My wife is on her way to becoming a citizen of Australia, about 2 years to go. This way they both have the best of 2 worlds.

[giddyup]

She has the house in her name and at least a couple of million baht in the bank, so I'm sure she'll struggle on.

[CharlieH]

There was a Thai /brit couple in my village, he up and died of a heart attack at 62.

She had the house he had built, the new car he bought and whatever money was in the bank.

I arranged and obtained his few pensions for her at his request, so she was all set, not rich by any means but a good income, certainly better than the average thai, Within 2 months of his funeral she was in Pattaya and now has another Ferang husband.

So, dont think too much, chances are she will simply go find annother Ferang.

Before anyone else jumps in, yes age is a factor and if your partner is over 50 there is not juch chance of what I described happening, but the lady in this story was 44, looked mid 30's.

[abrahamzvi]

sirineou, on 25 Apr 2014 - 17:30, said:

It is something that it is strong in my mind also. This is not a thing I considered when I married a girl younger than me, but it it is inevitable that I will be checking out before her, and as we are very close and I Know my passing will not be easy on her, the thought of it stresses me out.

These are some of the things I have done to insure some degree of security for my Family once I am gone.

Firstly I made sure that we stay long enough in the US for my wife to become a US citizen which she now is, This will give her the ability to come back to the US when ever she wants if she ever finds the need. , and being able to manage any wealth we have there,

Second, while in the US I made sure she acquired a trade, This gives her the ability to earn a living independent of me.

Third, we will not burn all bridges in the US, WE will maintain a residency there which we will rent , and let it pay for it's self, available for when needed.

We have a small Home in Thailand where her sister lives and where we live when there. We are slowly building a second home next to it, should be finished in a couple of years, we are finishing portions as we have money to do,, so so that when we are finished it will be debt free.

Also Her elderly parents have a house in the village that her and her sister will inherit when the inlaws pass away. This will wive her a Home to live in Thailand, Two properties for income, and a home to live in the US if need be.

When we do out taxes every year, she pays in to the Social security system , so that when she comes of age, she will at least receive the minimum SS monthly payment,

My Union retirement has the option that I take a reduced monthly payment but my wife keeps my pension after I die, ( that should screw them up, since my wife is a lot younger than me ) it is not a lot of money but it will be a secure monthly income.

But of all the things I did I think the most important is that I helped have the ability to earn a living on her own,

All these things combined, should provide for her after I am gone, But even so, I still cant get over the the thought that one day I will have to leave my wife to fend for her self, and it is not an easy thought,

I know it is not a healthy train of thought, and that it is something that I will have to come to terms with. But as of yet when ever the thought raises it's self in my mind, it stresses the hell out of me.

Thank you for you sensible reply, much unlike the first two. I glad I am not alone in my thoughts... Live long.

Thank you Rorri

I am sure you are not the only one my friend,

there are many responsible man out there,who love their families and want to do the right thing.

I have met more than a few my self.

It is only that you hear from the "Peter Pans living in neverland" more, because responsible man are well,,, busy being responsible.

A Man's greatest responsibility is to provide for his family, it is only reasonable that such a man would have concerns about his family's well being after he is gone, and would want to make contingency plans.

We all will like to be able to control everything, trust me, no one is more of a control freak than me It is an aspect of my personality that I recognize and try to control ( see a control freak even when it comes to my personality) ,

I do that by trying to give the ones I love the greatest amount of autonomy I can,

Give a Girl a fish and she eats for a day, teach her to fish and she eats for a lifetime

The thought you had about going back to Australia for a while, might be a valid one, (you of course know your circumstances better than anyone)

.

Getting her Australian papers would give her an other option later in life, Learning good English would make her more employable when back in Thailand, Perhaps when in Australia she can go to school and learn a trade.

Any way, your heart is in the right place

Best of Luck

For me it is an absolute PLEASURE to read your and Rorri's remarks. At times I get so annoyed with some of our "friends" that i feel like stopping reading the "remarks". Your words bring back to me the confidence in human race. There are still good and responsible people around, even among the expatriates living here, allied or married to Thais, but hate, or seem to do so, every minute of it.

[winstonc]

why worry about it when ya gone thats it enjoy the now and make a will thats it as for your home country having to pay for her no ..why should the australian taxpayer have to look after her its your responsibility surely...thats my opinion and im entitled to it yes...deep down you know im right..even if you reply im cold

[rotary]

I am lucky enough or rather she is lucky enough that I work for a company that has a great retirement plan.The company has in place a plan that if an employee works a certain amount of years(Which I am nearly to this milestone)and the employee is retired, upon the death of the employee the wife gets 15% of the base salary each month the remainder of her life. This has nothing to do with their retirement plan. It is an extra thing. That 15% of my base salary is a pretty hefty amount in Thailand so she should be in great shape the remainder of her life. The sad part is that all of this just sort of happened. I really did not plan all of this but was lucky enough that I got a better job than I ever guessed I would. I was going to be ok in retirement before I took my present job but now its a bit surreal.

[marcusd]

In a lot of cases the maker says ... Ah yes. You were the experimental one and I improved since you

Marcusd. Via tapatalk

[marcusd]

If you have nothing substantial here YES I would agree. Get her to OZ. Get her citizenship so she will be cared for even if she returned to thailand

Marcusd. Via tapatalk

[super22k]

Geronimo,what a strange post.

[transam]

She is probably happily married and drawing her pension and doesn't want to see me now.............

[hvdkerkh]

Getting the wife and certainly any children you have with her ,citizenship to your home country is a must. My wife is on her way to becoming a citizen of Australia, about 2 years to go. This way they both have the best of 2 worlds.

I agree. Unfortunately I cannot even get her into my home-country (visas refused for 12 years).

My wife is well off financially if I come to pass away (company pension for life and investments and savings), but getting access to that will be troublesome as most of it comes from abroad.

There's nobody I trust enough to handle it for her in my home-country.

Meanwhile I put a couple of condos in her name, she can rent out and a buffer in her bank-account, so she can survive while the access to the money abroad is being "arranged".

[asdecas]

Easy: Thais go to Thai heaven, full of monkey gods, farangs go to farang hell, full of deceased moaning ThaiVisa members.