Thai girlfriend pregnant

[khai59]

Hello, i'm a bit lost and i didn't know where to post this, i'm 19 now and my thai girlfriend is 19 too, we both are university students, and when we saw each other we had sex and later, when she came back to thailand, she told me she was pregnant because she stopped taking pills

It really made me mad and now i'm lost i don't know what to do, she told me she can't abort so i wonder what i should do, i asked her and she told me she didn't know, i'm thinking about dropping out of university and try to work while she is pregnant and then go to thailand but i don't know..... can i bring her to my country and make her abort (i live in france)? i'm really worried and if not what visa can i attempt to get to go to thailand? and what could i do?

Thank u

[ubonjoe]

Moved to the family and children forum. For answers on the abortion issue.

[Mario2008]

You can get a tourist visa to stay in Thailand and when the bay is born and you become the legal father you can get a non-O visa based on that.

Abortion is normally not accepted in Thai culture and for that reason not her wish. Untill she turns 20 she is also considered a minor and not an adult.

You have better chances providing for the child if you finish your education.

[khai59]

and get what job man? i got no degree and no experience, i'll have to stop my studies, and so will she, she couldn't work because she'll have to take care of the baby, and i'll have to stay here and try to work (yeah because without degree idk if u know how hard it is to get a job in france, and if i do get a job, i have to keep it)

She had plans of going abroad, she didn't wanna stay in thailand, it will only ruin her life and mine as well

abortion is the best solution and honestly i don't care much about cultures, it's about to ruin our lives and i should deal with it because thats what the culture says

[khai59]

no no firstly she is okay with abortion and it is our decision, as i know she didnt make this happen herself, i have talked to her and thats the best solution and even if she wasn't okay with it, unless she wants to ruin her life, we would have to abort

i have told my parents and it's not because one guy on an open forum says it's culturally bad that i should let it happen and ruin not only my life but hers too. i asked for advice not for shitty moral lessons

how about getting off ur high horse? i'm not ur dog, i admit i made shit but what i want is to make things alright, not to hear people saying shit about me

Edited May 3, 2014 by khai59

[khai59]

i don't think so, it's about her and me, i'm not gonna leave her alone in that situation so i can have my say, plus in that case since it'll have such a big impact on the rest of her life, she doesnt care much about thai culture either.

she told me she can't abort because it's illegal in thailand even though she wants to

Edited May 3, 2014 by khai59

[A1Str8]

She is not able to raise a baby properly coz she is still a baby. She is not willing to have abortion but intentionally stops taking pills.

That's a smart girl. Sort of mother material.

Probably what's going to happen is that she is going to give birth to the baby which is going to be passed on to her parents and you need to support her. Both of you should continue studying while the baby is raised by her mom and dad and you visit her and the baby as often as you can while supporting them financially. That's the best solution as you can't force a woman to have abortion against her will. Well you can but that would be low.

Best wishes

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[A1Str8]

She is not able to raise a baby properly coz she is still a baby. She is not willing to have abortion but intentionally stops taking pills.

That's a smart girl. Sort of mother material.

Probably what's going to happen is that she is going to give birth to the baby which is going to be passed on to her parents and you need to support her. Both of you should continue studying while the baby is raised by her mom and dad and you visit her and the baby as often as you can while supporting them financially. That's the best solution as you can't force a woman to have abortion against her will. Well you can but that would be low.

Best wishes

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

But I just saw that part when you said she wants to have abortion she is just concerned about it being illegal. Well then go ahead do it man.

There are lots of doctors who do it despite the fact that's it's illegal and nobody is ever going to find it out.

Or if she says no then take her to another country.

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[khai59]

thanks, i'll talk to her about it again and talk to her parents see what we can do

[Som wat]

If she refuses to terminate, then don't try to force her too much.

If that is the case, finish university, get a job, support your child.

Either do it in Thailand, or try to relocate the mother and child to France.

Good luck and do the right thing.

If you are genuine and not some troll thing, and if she is in BKK and you or her need some help here PM me.

[thepool]

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She is not able to raise a baby properly coz she is still a baby. She is not willing to have abortion but intentionally stops taking pills.
That's a smart girl. Sort of mother material.
Probably what's going to happen is that she is going to give birth to the baby which is going to be passed on to her parents and you need to support her. Both of you should continue studying while the baby is raised by her mom and dad and you visit her and the baby as often as you can while supporting them financially. That's the best solution as you can't force a woman to have abortion against her will. Well you can but that would be low.

Best wishes

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

But I just saw that part when you said she wants to have abortion she is just concerned about it being illegal. Well then go ahead do it man.
There are lots of doctors who do it despite the fact that's it's illegal and nobody is ever going to find it out.
Or if she says no then take her to another country.

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

"Lots of doctors" will not perform illegal abortions !

There is an established and legal path to legal abortion in Thailand , it is not difficult to follow.

I provided the link which provides information .

The decision about seeking an abortion is the ladies choice and hers alone !

[FritsSikkink]

and get what job man? i got no degree and no experience, i'll have to stop my studies, and so will she, she couldn't work because she'll have to take care of the baby, and i'll have to stay here and try to work (yeah because without degree idk if u know how hard it is to get a job in france, and if i do get a job, i have to keep it)

She had plans of going abroad, she didn't wanna stay in thailand, it will only ruin her life and mine as well

abortion is the best solution and honestly i don't care much about cultures, it's about to ruin our lives and i should deal with it because thats what the culture says

You better stop your study if you don't have the brains to use a condom. Who do you think you are to force an abortion?

You don't only care much about cultures, You don't care about anything but yourself. Grow up because it seems that your mental age isn't keeping up with your actual age.

[TobiasML]

I am a bit confused in regards to your post that she is pregnant and that this will ruin your life. A few days ago you posted that you want to leave your university and work because you want to be in Thailand. Now the opposite.

Regardless:

I am in no position to tell you what to do but it might be wise not to ask in an open forum. You will hear opinions you do not like and most of them are open. I admit I did not read all of them but you should man up. You two made a huge mistake. Hers to stop taking the pill, yours for not taking care of proper protection and safe sex.

It happens now that you will have a child and the two of you need to consider every possibility as this will alter your future regardless of your decisions. In Thailand abortion is illegal except for medical reasons.

Not sure about France and if a doctor would perform on foreigners on tourist visas but in my opinion this should be the last resort of the two of you.

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[FritsSikkink]

no no firstly she is okay with abortion and it is our decision, as i know she didnt make this happen herself, i have talked to her and thats the best solution and even if she wasn't okay with it, unless she wants to ruin her life, we would have to abort

i have told my parents and it's not because one guy on an open forum says it's culturally bad that i should let it happen and ruin not only my life but hers too. i asked for advice not for shitty moral lessons

how about getting off ur high horse? i'm not ur dog, i admit i made shit but what i want is to make things alright, not to hear people saying shit about me

in your first post you said she didn't know, that is not the same as she is okay with it.

[apiwan]

You can get an abortion in thailand.

But it really is the cowards way out.

You say your from France doesnt mean you have to surrender easy

And it goes against their religion and culture to do it.

I

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[celso]

I had a similar problem last year.

While abortion is illegal in Thailand, it is possible to get morning after pills that work up until the 12th week of pregnancy.

That is what we did, and it worked out fine.

At the end of the day it is her choice. If she wants to keep it for religious/family reasons or whatever, that's her choice. Just don't let her poor decision ruin your life too.

Edited May 3, 2014 by celso

[inthepink]

The link you provided says it's only legal if the pregnancy threatens the mother's health. So if it doesn't then it's illegal isn't it?

[Tywais]

The link you provided says it's only legal if the pregnancy threatens the mother's health. So if it doesn't then it's illegal isn't it?

That is correct. Abortion on demand is illegal.

[Time Traveller]

She had plans of going abroad, she didn't wanna stay in thailand, it will only ruin her life and mine as well

abortion is the best solution and honestly i don't care much about cultures, it's about to ruin our lives and i should deal with it because thats what the culture says

Don't ruin your life. Just kill someone else instead. You're a shining example of humanity, and the world really does owe you everything. If only your parents actions were as honorable as you.

Edited May 4, 2014 by Time Traveller

[likewise]

Aren't you the French kid who posted about missing his girlfriend and wanting to live with her in Thailand ?

You need to grow up boy, get your financial house in order before making any such moves......and now she is pregnant..... !

[DeeMak9]

She had plans of going abroad, she didn't wanna stay in thailand, it will only ruin her life and mine as well

abortion is the best solution and honestly i don't care much about cultures, it's about to ruin our lives and i should deal with it because thats what the culture says

Don't ruin your life. Just kill someone else instead. You're a shining example of humanity, and the world really does owe you everything. If only your parents actions were as honorable as you.

What a bunch of BS. The kid is 19 and clearly not ready for a child. While your opinion may be different , I find abortion the only right thing to do in this situation.

As someone else stated , there are some nasty pills available here that do the trick up to the 12th week.

[bina]

im moving to the health forum for obvious reasons;

to the OP . read the pinned topics in the health forum, or ask sheryl... there are options.

the rest of the repliers: if he wants he can start a new thread after he gets info from the health forum...

[HeavyDrinker]

OP weren't you on here the other week saying you'd not yet met the girl and were scared her parents (or yours) wouldn't approve?

[paz]

If this thread has a good place to rest, that's not "health, body and medicine" for sure.

Abortion is 1% physical and medical, but 99% human, psychological, social, moral and religious issue.

If any advice can be given, is that ultimately should be woman's decision.

[scoutman360]

You are young, and it is a shame you have to listen to everyone else's moral values being forced upon you. Based upon YOUR moral values, let me suggest something. Don't EVER quit school. Your university degree is critical to the survival of yourself and the future of what is going on. If she wants the child, there is nothing you can do, but deal with it. She will most likely give it to her parents to help raise the child, so don't worry too much about that. It's a Thai thing. I agree with you that the best thing for your future and her future would be to abort the pregnancy, you are too young. But you must deal with her desire also. If she wants the child, I hope you will find the strength to be a part of the child's life. It might take some time, but you can do it. I wish you the best of luck, and hope everything works out.

[Sheryl]

In France or in Thailand (or anywhere else) there is no way you can "force" her to have an abortion.

If she chooses to have an abortion, she may be able to obtain one legally in Thailand. See this thread for relevant information on the exact law and where to go http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/143682-abortion-in-thailand/

But as long as it is her choice not to, there is nothing you can do except face your impending fatherhood and plan accordingly.

IF -- and only IF -- her refusal to abort was based solely on fears for the safety of the procedure, you can reassure her on that score i.e. that it is possible to get a safe and legal procedure done - in Thailand if 2 Thai doctors agree it is necessary to her mental or physical health, or in nearby countries on demand.

However your original post implied she refuses for other reasons since you mention even in France needing to "force" her.

It has to be her decision, she will live all her life with it. And while many women do opt to have abortions, it is much harder for them than it usually is on the male partner. The pregnancy is already a reality to her, one she experiences in her body. Whereas to men it is often just a future problem on the horizon. And, of course, it is she who would have to actually undergo the procedure.

[Sheryl]

I had a similar problem last year.

While abortion is illegal in Thailand, it is possible to get morning after pills that work up until the 12th week of pregnancy.

That is what we did, and it worked out fine.

At the end of the day it is her choice. If she wants to keep it for religious/family reasons or whatever, that's her choice. Just don't let her poor decision ruin your life too.

Abortion is not altogether illegal in Thailand. It is legal under certain circumstances, please see the pinned thread.

"Morning after" pills work only up to 3 days maximum after sex and are best taken within 24 hours. the sooner the better. Perfectly legal and no prescription needed, brand names Postinor and Madonna. But they do not cause abortion, they prevent pregnancy -- when taken in time. Taken later than that they have no effect.

If in your case an oral medication was taken at 12 weeks followed by aborting, it was either (1) sheer coincidence and a spontaneous miscarriage unrelated to the drug OR (2) something other than a :morning after" pill that was taken.

[FBN]

Post in English or post will be deleted as per forum rules.

[healthbkkbkk]

You must first determine the time frame exact of the pregnancy before you can assume you are the father.

[F4UCorsair]

Ya play the game, ya take the knocks.