Paying her family?

[rotary]

Dump her and cut the loss. Either go back to your home country, most likely your best option, or try to stay and teach, not so great a option.

Consider this a lesson learned and make good use of your experience.

[transam]

sometimes a picture is worth more than a thousand words

Glad they pasted over my face there...................... ......................

[coconutbar]

After one month her father demanded I marry her or leave the house.

me thinks you have your answer

TROLL THREAD

[coconutbar]

this is a made up story compiled of other real stories ..........

[PattayaPhom]

Dont give a Penny, the demands will never stop and once you say no or just cant afford to give money you will be ousted anyway. Know a diver from Phuket, married, had a kid, had to go back to UK she followed, had another kid yet still has to wack money back to her parents (that are younger/same age as him) that havnt done a days work in their lives. The sister has also married a Norwegian, large house etc and the younger boy and girl havnt a job either....all of them dripping in gold and new cars....you really want that to happen to you....the asking for money will never stop...after you she will move on to the next muggins

[ALFREDO]

Or it could have been a big..........................

wallet.jpg..............

Long time since I had a "Franklin" Benjamin FRANKLIN or its equivalent in my possession.

I to long in Thailand.

[JimMagee]

To marry a Thai girl, it is normal to pay a dowry to the family, buy her some gold and a ring. But that is all. Buy land and build a house for yourself if you want. The girl was probably working and sending money to take care of the family. So you have to step up and take over that obligation, but that should not be more than a 3k or 4k baht a month. Many farang also spend a little bit to fix up the parents house, but only if you have a good relationship with them.

As soon as they start demanding money, cut it off. If the girl really loves you, she will take control of the family.

[transam]

To marry a Thai girl, it is normal to pay a dowry to the family, buy her some gold and a ring. But that is all. Buy land and build a house for yourself if you want. The girl was probably working and sending money to take care of the family. So you have to step up and take over that obligation, but that should not be more than a 3k or 4k baht a month. Many farang also spend a little bit to fix up the parents house, but only if you have a good relationship with them.

As soon as they start demanding money, cut it off. If the girl really loves you, she will take control of the family.

They get nothing from me, why, her mums Hi-So kids pay sod all to their mum even though mum paid for their Uni education...........

[David48]

If you want a thai lady for a night :go to a bar ,plenty there .

If you want a thai wife ,dont go to a bar ,go to a Big C,plenty nice educated ladies there.

You can see them every day (dating) ,just have to walk in there and speak to them .

After contact,let them keep their job for a wile ,so they know what you have to do to earn

honest money.

If it gets serious ,offer her a job as caretaker in your house and pay her double wages .(cant be much,and your house is clean)

If she talks about ,money for her parents ,tell her you dont have a job for them .(money doesn't come free remember)Suggests the parent go ask money

from her first employer (Big C),he might have a job and is more wealthy than you !

Then kick her out because "the crisis" is coming. (at surely was coming ,lol )

Did you meet you man/lady in a 'BigC' ?

[David48]

There are some very basic rules that apply if you want to date a Thai girl. There was a post not too long ago about that.

I stay away from women from Issan, bar girls and village girls.

Of course there are exceptions but they are few, don't waste time looking for exceptions.

100k baht for dowry is reasonable but opening a biz to support the family is completely abusive. My ex gf's family wanted a 1 million baht dowry from me.

I found that many poor families "pimp" their daughter into marring. Stay away from those.

Who then, exactly, do you suggest we humble folk should date?

[Mudcrab]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Ok, Thank you for all of your advice. After eight months and about 76,000 baht (not including travel expenses). I have heard of people losing a lot more than that. I still like it here, just maybe need to find new city. How is Chiang Mai? That should be far enough away from the family. Or Hua Hin, somewhere on other side of the country.

Why leave Bangkok, just move to an apartment in a different part of town and avoid places you know she goes. Her family aren't going to waste time making problems - they already think she's not seeing you so where's the problem. Bangkok is a huge city and the chances of bumping into her are very low. But agreed get out while you can, even if the money was nothing to you why would you want to be involved long term with people like this.

There is very rarely any love in Thailand, Its "Money No.1" and maybe time for you 'bail out" while you are in front; It will only get much worse for you. I am happily married to a genuinly loving lady, but it took twelve long years and many false stars to find my wife, who is a professinal health practitioner.....

Another TV cynical expert...

Don't be so hard on him - apparently he is proud his wife works in a massage parlour - professionally of course..

[brubakertx]

Some people are just crazy.

You learned your lesson....maybe.

That online girl has probably date many suckers like you.

Easy to find girls here, so move on to the next one, and you will soon learn how easy it is to forget her soon enough.

[Phoenix1312]

Run as fast as you can. You are definitely being taken. If you marry her it will never stop either

[rattlesnake]

I explained that buying people was not part of my culture and even against the law in the states, but she says that is just the culture here.

Buying people isn't the culture in Thailand either.

You're part of a family project to bag a farang, most likely because another girl in the family did it and they want it too.

Fortunately there are plenty of good people in this country, so once you've recovered your senses you should be fine.

[louse1953]

if you want to buy a girl as is the case in African or Arabic countries, this is your problem. But where is love???...

There is no love,only stupidity.

[kinmaew]

because in Thailand there is no DSS due to absolute bribery and corruption you the farang are the DSS office and your first interview did not go so well, not to bother there are many other less costly avenues available.

[louse1953]

You have to be a troll,nobody could be that naive,could they?Staying with the "family",if true is just to stop you getting a leg over.Go home and get a BA in life before you come back,or you will end up,bitter and twisted,like so many here.You found this forum,surely you read up on some true horror stoties here.

[louse1953]

Plenty of available girls in Thailand, go back online, find a new one with less demands.

Time wasted,get down The Cowboy and run amok for a few days,you'll soon forget whats her name.

[Tycoon]

You have a BA but a masters in stupidity, don't waste our time !!!

[louse1953]

Sin Sod, the dowry for the girl and some Gold is more or less normal and usually higher with a Falang, your sums seem not to high,

the immediately house building, buying and purchase of a car is not so common awaited in short time. But sure appreciated!

To take care of the family of wife, is common at least in some ways and in affordable borders!

So if she is a traditional Thai, some of that what she and her family asks for, is common practice in many families here in Thailand.

Special in rural Issan.

So find a consensus in a discussion, if you feel its worth the effort.

It is common practice because fools pay it.They should be paying us for marrying below our status.Tell em,plenty of fish in that Thai sea,and walk.You have been here 6 weeks you say,you have to run the game,your way.

[Eloelo]

No It is not a scam! it is just the way it is with some thai women. they are under enormous pressure to take care of there family and the family don't really care how or where they get the resources to do it, and a lot of thai women do know where to get the money from! the farang!I had a meeting once with a prospective father in law, and later that same evening my the gf told me papa wanted 100k I said so did I!she was 41 widowed and had 2 children, she said she also wanted a house but she was kind and said the car could wait. I said no! get a car now! when the car turned up I jumped in ,before leaving I said your father called me a farang, she said he not know you name. I said it isn't Westpac see you later!

[louse1953]

Ok, Thank you for all of your advice. After eight months and about 76,000 baht (not including travel expenses). I have heard of people losing a lot more than that. I still like it here, just maybe need to find new city. How is Chiang Mai? That should be far enough away from the family. Or Hua Hin, somewhere on other side of the country.

You are a good troll,keeping the story going.I am bored so will keep reading til the footy comes on.

[desmondspencer]

I would most certainly boot you off the bus too! You stayed with me, screwed my daughter under my roof.. and you would think it's alright?

Back home, think my dad would have already gotten out his shotgun!

Sent from my LG-D505 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[ppmacready]

"I guess I should've known better than to mistake business for love"--Ben Harper

1) Generally, I personally have learned not to trust Thai women. It
is sad how often their mothers use them to fetch money for them. They
might not be working as bone fide prostitutes, but in many ways their
families prostitute them by encouraging them to marry or date a farang
with money. The Thai people in general are egocentric and do not
easily fall in love in the true sense as much as they look for
material security, and this has been verified by social psychologists
who have researched Thai culture. Read Suntaree Komin, Ph.D. on the
internet. She is a Senior Fulbright Scholar and a member of the Thai
Royal Educational Patronage Society. She is Internationally respected
and the leading expert on the psychology of the Thai people. Dr.
Komin is Thai.

[louse1953]

You set the tone by paying for things before even "knowing" the girl ... I never understand how foreigners can be so gullible or stupid here, it's like common sense, logic and right and wrong get left at home.

He was all of the above before he even left home.You all know what Forrest said about stupid and running,the latter is easy,the former takes time and experience to fix,if ever.

[stickylies]

another one bites the dust...

[Grindting]

The OP needs to move on with his life. It sounds like he got out of a scam before it cost too much.

On a similar theme, village gossip tells me of a similar scenario in our district. A girl there has so far managed to snare 3 husbands on the internet. The girls mother was the driving force.

Girl meets farang on internet dating site. Farang would show up, a village wedding (not registered at the umphur) takes place. Farang pays for an expensive wedding. A new car and all the trappings would be given to the bride. A few weeks later an argument would take place with the farang sent packing. This got repeated 3 times.

Could at least the 3rd farang not use for bigamy to try and get his money back, as I take it from your story she didn't divorce the others first?

Probably silly suggestion..

[slipperylobster]

if you want to buy a girl as is the case in African or Arabic countries, this is your problem. But where is love???...

Your story is an explanation unto itself.

Even a girl in her teens will run away from her family if she loves a Thai man. There is absolutely nothing he pays. This you need to know. Without exception, every lady in my wife's family simply did a Buddha wedding with some guy she met in school. They elope if need be. There is simply no money involved. Pregnancy rates are high, and the relationships they have with these young men simply do not work out. (A few exceptions)

They need big money simply because you are farang. It is quite simple. If she loves you, she will go with you anywhere, at any price. (There always is a price)

But please do not be the fat white cow who gives milk to the entire family.

Think of a poker game...they are playing the trumph card, and pulling at the heart strings.

Too many losers...and I am hoping we can bring these fakers out of their holes and treat us with at least a little respect.

[Lockheed]

I've spent some time in Thailand and I've never had any problems with the girls, to be honest they don't come near me

If you have been here in Thailand for "some" time and never had any problems with the girls

and they not even come near you, than,

you probably much to old, to ugly, uninterested in girls-women, a loner, like men or Kathoys, are impotent, a monk or?

I try not to spend too much time in any one spot. Girls are very good at working on our inner weaknesses, especially when we've got nothing to do, so take up an activity like running, bike riding or walking etc, and if they want to pursue then they can, but don't and loose interest pretty quick. The word gets around, they know who who the suckers are, the secret is not to be one.

[Grindting]

Back to OP.. How can you 'fall in love' on Skype.