Here's a question for The Aussies; Shane Warne, is he batting for the other side these days? He looks pretty odd.

Yeah, he shacked up with some queer pommie Sheila and she made him get a plastic face and he went all........ sensitive new age w a n k e r like.

We have a continent all to ourselves. Of course we should have our own forum.

Can we throw the Kiwis in with you lot as well?

Of course. We need cheap labour.

Here's a question for The Aussies; Shane Warne, is he batting for the other side these days? He looks pretty odd.

Some pommie s c r a g, I meant.

think her name was liz burley. ugly. U g l y wench

Seriously though...we need to be more inclusive...of all members....especially as some of the longer term ones appear to be dropping like flies recently.........

Noted ...

Yes please, have a separate section for the Australians, actually a separate forum might be preferable .

They are really causing a lot of problems in this forum, what with their shrimp barbecuing , bear drinking, and obvious challenges with the English language.

I don't mind the beer drinking so much ,but the Bear drinking has to stop

Here's a question for The Aussies; Shane Warne, is he batting for the other side these days? He looks pretty odd.

Some pommie s c r a g, I meant.

think her name was liz burley. ugly. U g l y wench

He looks like Ken from Barbie. Do you think he keeps gerbils?

Why would we need either an american or aussie section ?

Is this not an international forum based around the going on's in Thailand ?

I want a Sandman forum though.

that would have to go in the 18+ section.

Gerbils are just plain un-Australian, everyone knows in Oz we use ferrets....

Oz

Here's a question for The Aussies; Shane Warne, is he batting for the other side these days? He looks pretty odd.

We have a continent all to ourselves. Of course we should have our own forum.

Can we throw the Kiwis in with you lot as well?

Of course. We need cheap labour.

As long as they do not bring their wide combs....

Here's a question for The Aussies; Shane Warne, is he batting for the other side these days? He looks pretty odd.

Some pommie s c r a g, I meant.

think her name was liz burley. ugly. U g l y wench

He looks like Ken from Barbie. Do you think he keeps gerbils?

He's a gun on the text messages.

Gerbils are just plain un-Australian, everyone knows in Oz we use ferrets....

Oz

Superb, ferret frolics

what about being inclusive?

Say sharing this great new Forum with our ould friends and seldom rivals ... the canucks?

Not a bad bunch of Folk.

Used to open spaces.

We have the wide brown land ... they the wide white land.

Mineral rich.

Share a fond appreciation of our friends from the USA ...

Is it a go-oa ?

We have a continent all to ourselves. Of course we should have our own forum.

Can we throw the Kiwis in with you lot as well?

Of course. We need cheap labour.

We also need the daily laugh our kiwi cousins bring to our lives when they say things like,

"Fush ann chups". and

"Where's me Jandels" and

"It's a wee buut cold"

what about being inclusive?

Say sharing this great new Forum with our ould friends and seldom rivals ... the canucks?

Not a bad bunch of Folk.

Used to open spaces.

We have the wide brown land ... they the wide white land.

Mineral rich.

Share a fond appreciation of our friends from the USA ...

Is it a go-oa ?

If we let them in they will let all the yanks who ran across their border 40 years ago in.

Big Tony would not be pleased.

Difference is us Aussies just get along with everybody.

That was Rolf Harris' defence.....

it would be too fast for the Canadians, too nice, too much like their southern counterparts.....ANZACS all the way!

Cant get these thingys to show preview windows, but you should take a look

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-05-29/clarke-and-dawe--the-use-of-the-english-language/5486784

what about being inclusive?

Say sharing this great new Forum with our ould friends and seldom rivals ... the canucks?

Not a bad bunch of Folk.

Used to open spaces.

We have the wide brown land ... they the wide white land.

Mineral rich.

Share a fond appreciation of our friends from the USA ...

Is it a go-oa ?

What about their dubious French influence?

A bit dodgy that is

Of course, if members who weren't born with our enviable peerage,

well they would have to do a QnA on this Classic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97YnGQE1q6M&feature=kp

.

it would be too fast for the Canadians, too nice, too much like their southern counterparts.....ANZACS all the way!

Cant get these thingys to show preview windows, but you should take a look

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-05-29/clarke-and-dawe--the-use-of-the-english-language/5486784

Let me resolve your technical Issue.

.

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

2014 Australian Citizenship test

1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to
explain the origin of, the term "died in the ****"? ARSE.

2. What is a bloody little beauty?? NEVERDIE

3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a
spaz;
chuck a U-ey? NO.

4. Explain the following passage: "In the arvo last
Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.". CHRISTMAS FAMILY GATHERING.

5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash? 3.

6. Complete the following sentences:
a) "If the van's rockin' don't bother ? KNOCKING.
You're going home in the back of a ? DIVVY VAN.
c) Fair crack of the ? WHIP.
d) Fair suck of the ? SAV.

7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss. NASTY OZ GAY MAN CHAT.

8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end
of a wedgie? YES.

9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in
their front yard "up on blocks"? Is his name Bruce and
does he have a wife called Cheryl? YES, YES, and YES.

10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving
mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of
chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming? YUK.

11. What are the ingredients in a rissole? MINCE, ONIONS, EGGS

12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a TimTam. OPEN PACKET, EAT PACKET. DIP IN COFFEE.

13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30. YES.
cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?

14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten
three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice? YES.

15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own? BRING SNAGS, EAT THE EYE FILLET

16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the
letter"b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot? BEETROOT.

17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots? YES.

18. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing"circle
work"? IF YOU ARE A RETARD.

19. Who would you like to crack on to? MIRANDA KERR.

20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie? KEVIN BLOOdy Wilson or John Williamson.

21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool? YES.

22. What does " sinkin ' **** at a mates joint and
getten para " mean? GETTING DRUNK.

23. What does Yeah-Nah mean?

MAYBE.

You have redeemed yourself....proceed...

We have a continent all to ourselves. Of course we should have our own forum.

I think that was cancelled, ye're part of Australasia now or something similar

Some Pommies are OK, but it would be better to ban all of them just in case. Problem with pommies is that they are half Breton (pictish tribes) and half German.

Because of this they only have half a sense of humour. They can give it but they can't take it. Some pommies have a greater influence on one side or the other from their traits, but why risk letting them in.

You did forget The Celts.

Nah, the Celts stayed up North in Scotland when the pommies bent over first for the Italians (Romans) then they bent over for the Germans. Now it's the yanks that are rooting them. The Scots have had enough of trying to look out for them and are planning their escape for once and for all in the coming Independence referendum.

Yeah, but how are The Jocks going to afford to look after all of those dole Scroungers?

Send them off to Australia, that's what the Irish are doing at the moment as well.

and they fit right in with the Ozzies

bump.

So, you (Aussies) steal Phar Lapp, Pavlova, Russel Crowe, and now you try to make out that John Clarke is an Aussie.

Those convict chains are obviously a sign of something genetic.

Mind you, once we are outside of Oz or NZ, it doesn't really matter because it's us vs the rest of the world and a bit of brotherly rivalry can be put behind us.

Does one have to have a mullet to be a member?

So, you (Aussies) steal Phar Lapp, Pavlova, Russel Crowe, and now you try to make out that John Clarke is an Aussie.

Those convict chains are obviously a sign of something genetic.

Mind you, once we are outside of Oz or NZ, it doesn't really matter because it's us vs the rest of the world and a bit of brotherly rivalry can be put behind us.

Mate, he's lived in Oz for more than half his life and he's 60 something, so I think that makes him Australian.

Now we only just tolerate u kiwis because we feel sorry for ya .

Some Pommies are OK, but it would be better to ban all of them just in case. Problem with pommies is that they are half Breton (pictish tribes) and half German.

Because of this they only have half a sense of humour. They can give it but they can't take it. Some pommies have a greater influence on one side or the other from their traits, but why risk letting them in.

You did forget The Celts.

Nah, the Celts stayed up North in Scotland when the pommies bent over first for the Italians (Romans) then they bent over for the Germans. Now it's the yanks that are rooting them. The Scots have had enough of trying to look out for them and are planning their escape for once and for all in the coming Independence referendum.

Yeah, but how are The Jocks going to afford to look after all of those dole Scroungers?

Some of them are planning on returning to England.

Does one have to have a mullet to be a member?

Yes.

And you have to admit the pasties are the food of pussies. Real men eat quiche.

How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also
allowing room for your cattle dog?

When packing an Esky, do you put the ice or the beer in first?

Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:
a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a
pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat.
b ) A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze.
And ham. In 40C heat.
c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather
continues fine.

How many beers in a slab?

The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV
character?
a) Toadie from Neighbours
b ) Alf from Home & Away
c) Agro from Agro's Cartoon Connection
d) Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers

When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages:
a) Once or twiceb

b ) As often as necessary to cook
c) After each stubby
d) Until charcoal?

Name three of the Daddo brothers.

Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?

Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:
a) Drinking beer a mate's place
b ) Drinking beer at the beach
c) Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy
d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before
going to the beach?

Would you eat pineapple on pizza?

Would you eat egg on a pizza?

How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from
Australia to England?

How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana
travelling at 120km/h?

Who are Scott and Charlene?

How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?
a) Squirt and spread with finger
b ) Sauce injection straight into the middle?

If the police raided your home would you:
a) Allow them to rummage through your personal items
b ) Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain
c) Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers
it personally?

Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a
yardie full of beer the fastest?

Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?

Thongs are:
a) Skimpy underwear
b ) Casual footwear
c) They're called jandals, bro?

On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best?
a) 1993
b)1997
c) 2001 or
d 2005?

What is someone is more likely to die of.
1) Red Back Spider
2) Great White Shark
3) Victorian Police Officer
4) King Brown Snake
5) Your missus after a big night
6) Dropbear?

How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner
barbie?

Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sahn?

Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the
pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter....

Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ

Is it best to take a sick day on:
a) When the cricket's on?
b ) When the cricket's on?
c) When the cricket's on?

What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?

What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer?

What are Budgie smugglers?

Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice?

A "Hoppoate" is:
a) A breed of kangaroo
b ) A kind of Australian "wedgie"
c) A disgraced Rugby League player?

What does having a 'chunder' mean?

When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?

What do the following terms mean:
a) Mate?
b ) Maate?
c) Maaaaaaate?

Best Aussie name is what?
a) Cheryl
b ) Charlene
c) Bazza
d) Thommo
e) Shazza