Help. Advice please.

[thaibeachlovers]

Don't know if this is the right forum, but I am married, so.......................

 

Living in a town with nothing to do, other than eat in restaurants or use an internet forum.

 

Currently having a few problems on the marital front and rather than stay in the house and stew, or have an argument and say something really bad, I leave and go on the internet, and have a meal in a restaurant.

Were I in Pattaya or Bkk I'd head for the bars to cool off, but here are only those Thai bars and I don't speak conversational Thai, so they are out. Not near enough to a bigger place with western nightlife, so that's out

 I'd rather do something else than the internet, but there are no parks and I can't go for a walk because of the dogs. I don't want to just sit somewhere as I'll get fixated on the problem, and I can't read when I'm upset.

 

My question is to others in the same boat ( if any are reading this )- what do you do to get away from the house for a while?

 

I'm not having any problems that any married couple doesn't have, so please don't ask for details. I don't need marriage advice, just for something to do to take my mind off things for a while.

 

Thanks.

[benalibina]

Get a hobby.... a reason to get up in the morning. Golf, fishing, gardening, driving mbike......a gik maybe ! Wonder though why you live in the middle of nowhere and cant speak, enough, thai to engage in conversations with thais. Probably you are lonely there, if so, go every quarter on holiday for a week. Many places to visit in Thailand.

[David48]

Mate, I don't have an answer for you, but it's appreciated that open the topic for discussion.

 

I'm sure that you are not the only one who is in this situation.

 

I hope you find an answer soon.

 

Good Luck.

[Dancealot]

I think you need a spark, tbl. You'll feel better..

[krisb]

Yep sounds like a hobby is what you need of some description
Hobby farm?

[Thaiberius]

A good soapie with a couple of beauties may help and you'll kill an hour or two in the process.

[thaibeachlovers]

Get a hobby.... a reason to get up in the morning. Golf, fishing, gardening, driving mbike......a gik maybe ! Wonder though why you live in the middle of nowhere and cant speak, enough, thai to engage in conversations with thais. Probably you are lonely there, if so, go every quarter on holiday for a week. Many places to visit in Thailand.

I have a time consuming hobby. I do DIY around the house.

What I need is something to do AWAY from the house in a town where there is nothing to do except shop or eat.

Nothing to do with being lonely and no desire to have a GIK.

 

< go every quarter on holiday for a week.>

I need something to take me away from the house for a few hours, not days.

Back home, I'd go to the park or a long walk, but here there are no parks and the dogs prevent going for walks.

[thaibeachlovers]

A good soapie with a couple of beauties may help and you'll kill an hour or two in the process.

I don't live in Pattaya or Bkk. If I did, I wouldn't need to have a soapie anyway  .

[JeffreyO]

It may not be your thing but since you have internet access some online games are a great way to get conversation with people from the west and just relax.  When I travel, and I have often in my life, I have always used games as a way to relax with my old friends, meet new ones, laugh and joke in English, etc.

 

Even if you've never tried, look into some of the more new-user friendly games and take a moment for yourself.  You may find yourself more relaxed and having less arguments with the Mrs.

[WhamBam]

In a somewhat 'difficult at times' relationship and living in a village of roughly 20 houses, I had to find a way to escape at times.

Many a morning I'd walk 3 or 4 kms along country roads to the next place where I sat and had a cool drink. (shame you feel you cannot go for walks - it can be very serene).

Books. I read loads of them and stocked up when in a place that sold them.

I launched myself into the internet and Thaivisa under some old name I have long since forgotten. I watched television too, lots of it.

Internet games were a boon too.

Got on the m/c and drove about 20 kms to the nearest town where I'd spend some weekends. Found bars with Thai music. Not too bad music either. A few restaurants and a small park with a lake.

Sometimes the need to escape or simply to be alone for periods of time and from 'her' difficult attitude were the driving forces.

Holidays away together helped to some degree too.

 

Yet there is often little you can do to escape in a small place. Sometimes you turn into a zombie like human.

 

Eventually I escaped full time after things escalated, she had my sattelite internet disconnected, True disconnected also, so no more English tv and movies. The companies refused to re-connect them.

 

I hope you find some release. It is no fun with little to occupy and distract you.

Edited August 1, 2014 by WhamBam

[glegolo]

Get a hobby.... a reason to get up in the morning. Golf, fishing, gardening, driving mbike......a gik maybe ! Wonder though why you live in the middle of nowhere and cant speak, enough, thai to engage in conversations with thais. Probably you are lonely there, if so, go every quarter on holiday for a week. Many places to visit in Thailand.

Yes here you have it.... you seems not to have any friends either. I find that there is falangs all over the place here in Thailand, and most of them are very nice people..... Try to widher your social life a bit, and do not lock in to socialize only with thais around you......

 

if you have falang friends you can meet up with them, go home to them, and talk about things that bother you....If you dont have falang friends, for God sake get some, it iks about time.... Take down and cut down the high hedge around your garrden, and open up, and you will be fine...

 

I have exactly the very same problem as you have in my marriage, and so does probably everybody else..... We simply just want to get out of the situation and in order NOT to say too much things that I regret the day after...which never can be unsaid...

 

I go out bicycle sometimes, or I go out on my motorbike sometimes, and sometimes I go home to my friends, and we talk about it.... When I come home later, all is blown over and back to normal, and nobody seems to understand what did happen earlier and certainly NOT understand why I left the building.....   

 

Good luck

glegolo

[BarnicaleBob]

If you want to kill a little time away from the house, try taking some Thai lessons.  Then in time as you become more confident in Thai you can do other things around your area.  Also, there is nothing like a good straight massage to take your mind off of things.  I hope you find a way that works for you, good luck.

[jacko45k]

That is the reason I have resisted moving to her village, as much as she goes on about it, trying to paint a good picture.

There is little to do and I would feel very isolated.

You may need to look at the bigger picture and consider a place in Pattaya if you have the finances.

When I had a bad spell with the lady I would send her off to her village for a while, the break did us both good......

You could take breaks in Pattaya!

[RedQualia]

Dunno if it would work for everyone, but I get on the motorcycle and ride. One day. One week. One month. Varies, along with the places I visit. It's good to see different parts of Thailand, and whether there are problems at home or not, it's usually good to go away for a while. Which is to say, it's always good to come home, and see how the wife and I have missed each other so much.

 

Just a thought.

[cms22]

Had similar problems mate. Here's what to do.
1. Learn Thai. Number 1 priority. Learn to read, learn to write and learn to speak. Once you get into it it will open your mind.
2. Get a hobby. I purchased a good camera some time ago and have really made an effort to try to use the thing properly. Some great subjects up in Isaan and a good camera can really get the best out of the experience.
3. Read books. Whenever I go to bangkok or pattaya I always make an effort to buy a few second hand books that will take me some time to read. Again, once you get into a good book it'll open your mind.
Hope this is of some use.
Cheers


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[OOLEEBER]

Don't let the dogs put you off.

Carry a pocket full of stones and when the dogs threaten make a HRMMP sound like the Thai's do at dogs. Stand your ground and even walk towards them and flinch. That's normally enough but if not pretend you're throwing stones at them. If that's not enough then throw the stones at them. You only need to throw a couple.

You can also buy one of those chrome extending police battens from the stalls in Big C. I've never had to use mine but it's nice to know it's there just in case. Get a walking app for your phone so you can track your distance and time etc.

I've covered hundreds of hours walking and power walking (knees are too effed to run) and that's the way I handle the dogs. Once you see it working you feel a little like Jesus walking on water.

Oh and wear a hat. :) 

I hope that helps. 

Ollie

[misterphil]

You call yourself thaibeachlovers, errrr well go to the beach then if you love it so much.

Where exactly are you?

If your close to Chiang Mai they have the X Centre which is brilliant for a day out.

If your close to Cambodia go across shoot some AK's & 50 Cal's, and have a little flutter on the casino.

If your close to Malaysia go and see the Petronas Towers.

If your close to Myanmar go and train some child soldiers and bring some drugs back.

So there you have it, Ive gave you 4 options for North, East, South and West.

Let us know how you get on.

Personally id just move to Pattaya and sit down Soi 6 Beach Road allday if I was feeling like you are. Take a little beauty from there back home to the village where you live with only a restaurant and WiFi. She would keep you busy allday and would get the whip cracked on your wife. Let her know shes not the only one with a pussy in Thailand.

[finnomick]

Funnily enough, the wife and I nearly got into that situation living in a condo in Jomtien. Four very close walls and neither of us ' doing ' much despite all there is to do around Jomtien and Pattaya. So, we moved up to the village, built a house etc etc. We got a small piece of land from the F-in-law and have turned this into a smallholding/farm type thing. We had some ponds dug and stocked with fish -- my fishing skills have progressed a lot from just being a worm dangler. The misses grows mushrooms and also runs a small fishing tackle shop. So we now have plenty to occupy our time and it doesn't always mean we are in the same space. Bonus for her is the family are just down the road in the village. I bought an old classic bike which needs a lot of care and attention -- the more space I need the more care and attention it gets, then I'll go up the road a bit to see a mate or two. Nearest town is about 50kms away, so I sometimes go on a shopping trip.

 

Back in Pattaya and even some of the lads up here in the villages got heavily involved with golf. Can't see the point really....hit a ball, walk after it and when you fnd it,you hit it again but all to ones own I say. I'm told the nineteenth hole can be a lot of fun after the game too. There's a whole world out there, all you need to do is elevate yourself from your hindquarters and discover it ! Here's hoping you do

[Sekingco]

Play golf!!!

[12DrinkMore]

1. Books. Do people still buy books? I have over 3,000 on my large tablet computer. Can read in the dark too, power cuts no problem the battery holds up for over ten hours. Want even more books? 45,000 here.

 

http://www.gutenberg.org/

 

2. Study something. Free, online, awesome standards.

 

https://www.coursera.org/

 

Download the videos, watch on Tablet and do the homework.

 

3. Get a dog and take it for walks. If it is big enough it will sort out the other dogs. Maybe.

 

4. Have a room for yourself.

 

I have tried the rural Thai living. Not for me.

 

To escape I need a city with shops and a cinema.....

[keithkarmann]

 

Get a hobby.... a reason to get up in the morning. Golf, fishing, gardening, driving mbike......a gik maybe ! Wonder though why you live in the middle of nowhere and cant speak, enough, thai to engage in conversations with thais. Probably you are lonely there, if so, go every quarter on holiday for a week. Many places to visit in Thailand.

I have a time consuming hobby. I do DIY around the house.

What I need is something to do AWAY from the house in a town where there is nothing to do except shop or eat.

Nothing to do with being lonely and no desire to have a GIK.

 

< go every quarter on holiday for a week.>

I need something to take me away from the house for a few hours, not days.

Back home, I'd go to the park or a long walk, but here there are no parks and the dogs prevent going for walks.

 

Build yourself a private room, somewhere where you can watch movies or play your favourite music loud without upsetting anybody. Been in your position before and gradually if you spend all your time together the relationship will gradually fall apart. Small arguments become big arguments and in reality you are arguing about nothing. Get a bicycle and go for a bike ride once a day,take a camera with you, its amazing what you see when you are not driving a car (see photo taken on my bike ride). I have yet to meet any young ladies while I am on my bike but I keep hoping.

[Queenslander]

I just see where the nearest Hash House Harriers are situated, find out where and when their next run is being held, and take off for the weekend. Bit of exercise, meet new people, enjoy a few beers and some socialisation, return home refreshed…works for me! Off to Hua Hin soon for a run with their Kennel…worth a try.

[Gsxrnz]

Get into golf.  I play three times a week.  If you have to travel some distance to find a course, even better.  You'll meet new friends and have a reason to travel, maybe stay overnight, see some new places etc.

 

Yes - learn more Thai.

 

The missus gave me grief a week ago because I went out with some business associates from back home and got home a bit late. She went pear shaped for no justifiable reason and chose not to see logic or apoligise for her OTT reaction.

 

My response has been to go out every night for 5 straight days and rock in at 3am - Walking St is very quiet this year by the way.

 

If she doesn't adjust her attitude today she'll be reminded that all I need is my laptop, passport and a change of underwear and I can live anywhere in the world I choose.  I'll be telling her this while the laptop, passport, and undies are in the truck with me at the wheel and the engine running.

 

Up to her. 

 

 

[duanebigsby]

I like the buying a good camera suggestion. My training is in photography and I can spend hours both shooting and in photoshop. Even though I live by myself, I need to get out of the house as well.

On the weekends my friend and I go out sketching. Buddy is a really good artist but I just chicken scratch on the paper. You wouldn't believe how relaxing it is.

I also bought a remote quadrocopter and I'm learning to fly it.

You can do something as simple as grabbing some badminton rackets and play with the neighborhood kids.
You don't need to speak Thai for that and I always can find kids to play with. The parents are usually too busy but occasionally I can manage a game with adults.

[robblok]

Go walk on the beach if your near one.

 

Buy a small bike (if you are comfortable with that) explore the surroundings

[canarysun]

Firstly you need to have " hobbies " and i always think that when in a relationship you have your " own lives " and interests too! Being together 24 hours a day will be " a recipe for disaster " Go for long walks every day,or buy a bicycle and go on bike rides every day.We have fabulous weather here in Thailand so there is no need to " stay indoors all day " Get out there and enjoy the sunshine! Or perhaps take the train somewhere? take up photography? But it is " essential " that you both have your own independence and own lives from one another! I have been living in Thailand for 3 years and i have never had a Thai girlfriend before (mainly because I am not really interested) I like to spend my days " outside in the sun " walking for 10 KM every day and bike rides,train journeys and long afternoons soaking up the sun on the beach ( with cool tunes ) But most Thai ladies that i know would prefer to " sit indoors all day " so i find it easier to just stay single! 

 

I think the secret to a good relationship is :

 

1. Both have your own lives and hobbies

2. Both must learn to " compromise" 

3. Important to share the same interests.

4. Financially independent ( 50 / 50 with ALL bills ) 

 

 

Farang Jaidee ( Single )

[macburiram]

Buy a fishing gear and go find some nearby river or lake.....get some beer and relax while waiting for your catch....thats what Im doing when its boring....

[Rockhopper]

I have been taking Thai lessons for 3 years. I can write Thai and read Thai but I don't know what it means. LOL 

But it's a great way to spend 2 hours each morning with a beautiful female Thai tutor!

[macburiram]

Go buy fishing gear and find some nearby rivers or lake...get some beer and relax while waiting for catch...thats what Im doing if get bored. Sometimes I just go at nearby forest to look for mushrooms with villagers...its fun

[slipperylobster]

You need to get to a place where you can drink a beer with some buddies once a week...(or more).  Set that up for yourself.