Help! Trying to convince my wife we should stay in Thailand

[Guest]

is it just me and my thai wife but does every thai woman know everything about everything and is always right, I threw out my encyclopedia long ago.

[kinmaew]

yes I know when you consider the high cost here after mortgage, taxes, cost of living I would be lucky so save 30,000 baht a month small money miiissterrr

[craigt3365]

OP…best of luck convincing your wife that the States isn't the most perfect place on the face of the Earth.

 

My wife and I were married for a few years and were living large in Thailand.  Then we decided to move to the States.  I wasn't against the idea, but I know my wife, and it would have been futile to resist.  After 18 months of living in Florida, we are ready to head back to Thailand, where we were happier and had a higher standard of living.

 

Everything in the States is more expensive than it is in Thailand…electricity, water, television, cellular phones, house, food, entertainment…everything.  Then, add on the stress your spouse is going to experience caused from doing things like working, driving, and even shopping.  I tried to explain this to my wife, but explaining something and having her experience something on her own are two different things.  It was best to let her experience it for herself, and at the least, she was able to meet my family.

 

Don't get me wrong, we enjoyed our time in the States, but we are not as happy here as we were in Thailand, so we will move back there in a few months.  Once there, we will buy a house and car, and pay cash for both…something that would be impossible here in the States.

 

Not everything is more expensive.  Many things are much cheaper...and better.  Wine, steaks, electronics, even clothes.  What I pay here for quality clothes is ridiculous.  A cheap pair of shorts here for 200B is just that.  Cheap.  But if you want a decent pair, you'll have to spend way more.  Many things in the US are more, but the quality is better.  Take cable TV.  Here, it's expensive and not that good.  Back home may be a bit more, but the quality and selection is way better. 

 

My wife loved shopping in the US.  Some items are more, some are less.  But the quality and variety is hard to beat.  Here, we visit 2-4 stores to get the stuff she needs for cooking.  Back home, just one store had almost everything, including Thai ingredients.  Though we did take a trip once a month or so to the Chinese grocery store to get her "special" goodies.

 

Back in Las Vegas, my wife had no problem driving.  Here in Pattaya?  Forget it.  She can't deal with the bus and scooter drivers and the small roads.

 

We're split on whether to move back or not.  If health care wasn't such a big deal, the decision would be easier. 

[TimTang]

One other comment. I have found after living in both countries its relative in most regards but I did find in Thailand I can insulate myself from exorbitant living costs. In the US there is simply no way. COL chases you relentlessly and its why people work until they die never enjoying some extended personal freedom. Usually by the time they can slowdown they have medical issues and now their savings go to doctors coupled with they can not go far from their home.

One thing I would never do is have a Thai GF/wife and go work back in my home country sending her money. Bad bad idea for a myriad of reasons. You might as well drive down the freeway and roll down your window and toss your money out. In many cases its the same thing as many foreigners painfully find out as time marches on.

Good Luck

 

I agree particularly with your second paragraph. You end up getting requests for 500 bucks here 500 there, then it's 800 for this and maybe a grand for that. After working for a year and your couple of weeks of vacation arrives you suddenly realize you don't have enough in your savings account to even pay for a return flight. You find you're stuck in a long distance love affair with a women you'll most likely never have sex with again and you don't have enough disposable income to finance a decent retirement fund.

 

The monthly insurance payments on my used car is the equivalent of the monthly payments on a brand new car. After 10 years of paying insurance I could have bought 3 new cars.

[BrooklynNY]

Your wife must have seen on social network of many Thai women who either married to farang men or have a farang b/f. Also there is a Thai website which is a community website for Thai women live abroad who married to farang men called http://www.ladyinter.com. I am neither a member nor have visited the site but I got the info from another Thai web board. I am pretty sure that she wants to be like those Thai women who show off their lives style living abroad. She is married to you who currently lives in UK, so she wants to have a piece of that opportunity to live abroad (UK) and why not.

 

I used to live in UK for one year (Oxford and London) for many many years ago and I do not like it. In comparison to UK, Germany and USA those three countries I actually lived and currently live in USA and Germany, I prefer USA in term of job opportunities. Although I live in NY where cost of living is high but I do not complain but on the contrary NY is my second home. There are many Thais live permanently in overseas and they have competitive job positions and salaries as much as farangs earning. I do not work as hard as I used to but I still managed to save money. I do not own a car because I do not need one when living in an urban area where public transportation is so convenient. I live in a rental two bedroom old apartment and admittingly that rental cost in NY is high but where I live is considered reasonable comparing to other parts of NY.

 

If I worked harder I would have made a lot of money but I am content with my current financial and job situation, even tough I could have done better. I left Thailand since I was 17 so I am one of an exception who is not considered a typical Thai women. I have a different mentality from many Thai women live in Thailand but I understand Thai women's materialistic needs. I heard from many Thai women in Thailand that they want to come to work abroad to make money. They do not care whether the job is low paid but all they want is to be able to live abroad. They want to be different from other Thais in Thailand.

 

If I were you, I would advice your wife to take some vocational courses like Thai cooking, cutting hair (unisex styles) or a REAL Thai massage with a certificate. If her educational background is limited that would be a problem, let alone many Thai women with a good education and job skills from Thailand have the same problem to struggle finding a job when they moved to live with their farang spouses in overseas. Another thing that, if your wife gets a job, she may not want to go back to Thailand if you choose to live in Thailand and that may come to even a divorce. She may rather choose that option. She will find help and advice from many Thai women who are in the similar situation or who have an experience having gone through the same path.

 

Please excuse my imperfect English.

 

 

Edited August 7, 2014 by BrooklynNY

[hellohello123]

is it just me and my thai wife but does every thai woman know everything about everything and is always right, I threw out my encyclopedia long ago.

It's not a thai woman thing, its a woman thing!!!

[poweratradio]

OP, zierf1 ... how old are you?

 

How long have you been married?

 

In your courting days, months, years ... did you not once travel to the old country?

 

Has your wife even been out of Thailand?

 

Has your wife even been cold?

 

Are you English?

 

Good luck getting a Visa.

Is she Thai or a Uk'er balking at moving to 3rd world Nirvana