lovelaos Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Leave with all your possession, sell the house and wish her all the best. She has made her choice. You should move on as well. My opinion. Probably what I'll end up doing unless she comes around and understands the futility of her current thinking. I'm not sure from our conversation that she has really made a choice, it's not as clear cut in her mind and it would suck if I left without being sure, as we would loose what we have and the 'magic falang' probably wont be as magic as she has come to expect... she'll loose the support I provide to both her and the family, and would become part of the bar scene with all the risks involved. She needs to stay with her mom as her care taker so the option of moving in with some new guy is out the question. Like I said this is new and sudden and I'm looking at my options, leaving and starting over being one of them; with no mutual respect there is of course no possible relationship. Thanks for the supportive comments. Edit: I cant sell the house as it is directly attached to the mothers & on her land. She is wavering between you and $$. Is that love? That kind of woman is not worth your love and concern. If you stick with someone who loves you lesser or no love, it will be very draining (psychologically) for you in the long run. It's better you find your happiness elsewhere. Life is short. As for the house, since you can't sell... take it as tamboon. And a lesson learnt. Suk suk na!☺️ "take it as tamboon. And a lesson learnt. Suk suk na!☺️" No idea what this means. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilesofSmiles Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 mmf 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cpkt8 Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Leave with all your possession, sell the house and wish her all the best. She has made her choice. You should move on as well. My opinion. Probably what I'll end up doing unless she comes around and understands the futility of her current thinking. I'm not sure from our conversation that she has really made a choice, it's not as clear cut in her mind and it would suck if I left without being sure, as we would loose what we have and the 'magic falang' probably wont be as magic as she has come to expect... she'll loose the support I provide to both her and the family, and would become part of the bar scene with all the risks involved. She needs to stay with her mom as her care taker so the option of moving in with some new guy is out the question. Like I said this is new and sudden and I'm looking at my options, leaving and starting over being one of them; with no mutual respect there is of course no possible relationship. Thanks for the supportive comments. Edit: I cant sell the house as it is directly attached to the mothers & on her land. She is wavering between you and $$. Is that love? That kind of woman is not worth your love and concern. If you stick with someone who loves you lesser or no love, it will be very draining (psychologically) for you in the long run. It's better you find your happiness elsewhere. Life is short.As for the house, since you can't sell... take it as tamboon. And a lesson learnt. Suk suk na!☺️ "take it as tamboon. And a lesson learnt. Suk suk na!☺️" No idea what this means. Tamboon- doing merit. Suk suk na- don't give up (cheering him on) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post smokie36 Posted September 12, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted September 12, 2014 Pack a bag....hit the road.....and enjoy your freedom for a while......300k Baht is nothing compared to your self respect. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbymack Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 I would make sure you clear out everything that you can for yourself, try to sell the house, car etc if you can and then when the new guy turns up, tell him everything and this will surely scare him away - as he will think that the girl will eventually do the same to him. The result will be that she loses you and your money and the other guys money as well. That will really teach her a lesson and be left with a lot less rather than more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbymack Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 I am not familiar with the land laws in laos but you say you built the house but do not own the land and you seem to infer that your girl does not own the land either? Who does own the land? If you took a lease out and then built the house then the house would be yours, albeit not the land. You could send your girl away for a while with the Mother and while they are away, bring in a demolition company to completely flatten the house and leave her possessions outside in a tent. Job done and then disappear after you have put off the new boyfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenBravo Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 All land in Laos is owned by the government. It is then leased to Laotian citizens and are termed "land use rights". This is the same as many communist countries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbymack Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Ok so then the house is the OPs so he should demolish the house and return the land to its former state. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besth Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 OP, was your wife already a prostitute when you met her or - to your knowledge - she only went into that during your recent longish 4 months absence? Either way, it is not unusual for younger women to fall for the lure of greener pastures the other side of the fence. Worldwide divorce/failure rates for marriages nears 50%, so just take it as s**t happens and move on. If you have to give up on whatever you have invested financially into this relationship, it is a cheap price to pay. Emotionally it probably will be harder at the beginning, but it is not worth wasting your life fighting for something that is clearly doomed. Best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loptr Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Leave with all your possession, sell the house and wish her all the best. She has made her choice. You should move on as well. My opinion. Sell the house? There would be a terrible accident with the home if it were me in this situation... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post AnotherOneAmerican Posted September 16, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted September 16, 2014 (edited) Option 1 It's against the law for a Lao woman to sleep in a room with a man she is not married. Wait till she's with him then report her to the police. Option 2 Burn the house down and run. Option 3 Move on to one of the sisters (or mom) Option 4 Walk away, and think of all the money you no longer have to send her. Option 5 PM us all naked pictures of her. Edited September 16, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tifino Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 somehow contacting the new victim, let him know he's following on from what you did to the fellow before you - setting up that she's a serial gold digger, and that he will not be the last... this will be easy, considering you were convinced to marry her 'informally', which suggests you might not be the only one who has gone down that path with her... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Walk away chap, don't look back...................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tifino Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 or, maybe being a farang, you don't lose face like she will - and stay around to share the extra income... ... but it will then depend on for how long you can stand the forever increasing tone of wife that " you not enough money - I have to work" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ozsamurai Posted September 16, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted September 16, 2014 Lots of bitter twisted hard done by people on TVF, so take all the advise with a grain of salt and do what suits you best. Do you want your money back? You have the upper hand simply by your inconvenient existence in her plan. Take it back. You want to hurt her emotionally? You want to save the guy from her? Set out what you want clearly, then come back for solid advise on how to achieve it. Different times of my life meant I took different courses of action that was appropriate at the time, you just have to know what is appropriate for you, now. Oz 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tifino Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 (edited) yes be better to make your intentions clearer - but I see it as 'want out' , but with minimum 'collateral damage'? p.s.anything you 'confide' or discuss with anyone around you there, will get back to her... MIL seems to be favouring you - very embarrassing for her that it is all happening in her territory Edited September 16, 2014 by tifino Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post 473geo Posted September 16, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted September 16, 2014 In my opinion not a good idea to be the sore loser, wish her well, show no anger, get on with your life, move out, move on, leave her to reap the results of her decision 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamiesilver Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Very sad to hear these stories again and again... At least she is honest? oh please...If i were in your shoes and would first make sure the rich guy knows exactly ALL the facts, as it would be the noble thing to do.Then i would file for divorce and fight til the bitter end to get 50% of what is yours. But do be careful. Laos is pretty wild when they don't like foreigners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bino Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 You say that your house is connected and on the same plot of land to the family house. Even if you were to leave on the day that the new guy is coming to visit, would your wife really bring him home to surprise her mother and family? I think not. What lie will she tell the guy in order to avoid this? I would stay at home with the family, and tell her on no uncertain terms that if she goes to meet this guy, that your marriage has no chance of surviving. If she chooses to disregard this and goes to meet him anyway, I would go and explain all to the mother and family so that they will not be surprised when the new guy shows up and when you are packing / heading out the door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanAunuum Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 For f**ks sake man,grow some balls,you have 2 choices either tell you wife or gf what ever she is she cannot meet this american or tell her it's over and take what is yours and leave her with nothing,she will cream you till you have nothing left.This american is coming over to <deleted> your wife,Grow balls man,confront him and her together and tell them both have a happy life,and i am off BE A MAN NOT A DOORMAT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Kaoboi Bebobp Posted September 23, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted September 23, 2014 OP, you seem to be wavering. I hope you're not looking for some miraculous suggestion. There are none. Instead, there's a logical conclusion. Get out with as much as possible. As others have said, this is not going to get better or she's not going to have a sudden change of heart. She has poisoned your relationship. End of story. It's harsh but there's no other way to describe it. The emotional cost will be a heavy burden for a while, I know, believe me. Your (formerly) comfortable life and routine will change. But it may just be the refresher you need. Think positively now. I disagree with those who advocate revenge of some sort. Walk away and take your best self with you. Again, put one foot in front of the other and think positively. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lukecan Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 (edited) The fact that you're opening a topic like this and asking for suggestions is insane! You're no different from a pimp in the eyes of that American Man, and I hardly doubt he's rich and does business everywhere. Edited September 23, 2014 by Lukecan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farang000999 Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 how about picture. is she a stunner? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
longstebe Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 No brainer for me, 300k is nothing, down to the bright lights of Pattaya. The damage is already done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metisdead Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 A trolling post with inappropriate intent has been removed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
songhklasid Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 Why not kick the wife out & you stay with the family, use the house as a base, travel enjoy yourself, the wife will bring herself undone or wake up & come crawling home. regards songhklasid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lex Talionis Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 On 2014-09-10 13:18:38 the OP said:"The man in question wants to come visit in two weeks (wife hasn't told him about me), to see how she lives, meet the family (?), and i have difficulty seeing how this would work out, unless of course I left which I am not prepared to do at this point given my investment in both time and money, and the fact that everyone gets along well." It's been 2 weeks. Has he shown up OP? What's the latest? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slipperylobster Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 Wow. My life just seems so good right now, after reading this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kekalot Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Option 1 It's against the law for a Lao woman to sleep in a room with a man she is not married. Wait till she's with him then report her to the police. Option 2 Burn the house down and run. Option 3 Move on to one of the sisters (or mom) Option 4 Walk away, and think of all the money you no longer have to send her. Option 5 PM us all naked pictures of her. I was actually thinking of that option 1 too, someone else beat me to it tho living in Laos? definitely an option. gets rid of one (two?) problems Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tifino Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Option 1 can fly back in your face: If you are not officially married, she could payback by dobbing you in too for having her sex while not being officially married Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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