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We just can't get along


flyingsaucersarereal

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I just can't get along with the Thai father inlaw.

When the weekend comes around I buy a large buffet and whisky for everyone and we all sit down to eat except for him he eats alone.

When I try to talk to him(I can speak Thai) he barely says anything back as if I am invisible.

I have my own apartment and he lives with my wife and her son in there rented house that I help pay for.

Everyday for him is a day of watching TV an drinking whisky.

I am annoyed with the entitlement attitude that he never has to lift a finger to help.

I wish my wife or someone would challenge this behavior but everyone seems to just cough it up as "that's just the way he is"

Can parents in Thailand do no wrong? Am I really so bad? I don't know what to make of this situation other than I think it is wrong.

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When someone treats me like that, after a while I blame it on him and then I don't give a shit what he thinks. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life kissing someone's ass when he wants to be an a hole.

What's up with your wife not living with you? Is he controlling that? What's her position on the living situation? Is she also dissing you or siding with her father? That sounds like the more odd part.

Can you get her, move away some distance, and just have her visit her parents sometimes without you?

Problems with in-laws are common the world over. He may feel like you outshine him with a better education, more money etc., or he may be afraid of losing position of the leader or whatever. All are issues of face.

If my wife wouldn't live with me due to her father, she'd soon be an ex, but I don't know the whole situation.

My wife has a son and they all live near the son's school so she lives there to take care of him and take him to school.

I have tried to live there at the house with him but there is just not enough room and I need peace and quiet because I work a graveyard shift.

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Your fil is just taking the piss out of you mate.

He has little respect for you, and likely sees it as your wife who supplies his life, not you.

Not much you can do really except totally ignore him. Your wife will side with her lazy father till he dies, and because your child is there, you can't upset your wife too much.

Even if you moved to another city, he would probably follow. On the other side, be happy she doesn't have brothers moving in also.

Well....because he hasnt mentioned that.....doesnt mean they are not around.....

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<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

When someone treats me like that, after a while I blame it on him and then I don't give a shit what he thinks. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life kissing someone's ass when he wants to be an a hole.

What's up with your wife not living with you? Is he controlling that? What's her position on the living situation? Is she also dissing you or siding with her father? That sounds like the more odd part.

Can you get her, move away some distance, and just have her visit her parents sometimes without you?

Problems with in-laws are common the world over. He may feel like you outshine him with a better education, more money etc., or he may be afraid of losing position of the leader or whatever. All are issues of face.

If my wife wouldn't live with me due to her father, she'd soon be an ex, but I don't know the whole situation.

My wife has a son and they all live near the son's school so she lives there to take care of him and take him to school.

I have tried to live there at the house with him but there is just not enough room and I need peace and quiet because I work a graveyard shift.

Move the FIL into the apartment and you move into the house. Leave him by himself for a while......................wink.png

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What's up with your wife not living with you? Is he controlling that? What's her position on the living situation? Is she also dissing you or siding with her father? That sounds like the more odd part.

Sounds like a variation on the 'brother' game.

Is OP SURE it's her father, cos I'm not.

Suspicious forever u....

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Let it be

Just be polite and considerate. Your wife will like that. Everyone else can see what is going on. No-one will be blaming you

Thai boys are bad enough, old Thai boys are worse. My father in law tried to kill us and then he fell down stairs.

Hmmm....i must assume that you were not polite and considerate.

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I am happy that I have an excellent relationship with my in laws, including all my Thai brothers in law and their families. Very grateful indeed.

We all help each other out.

Sorry to hear of your dilemma

Edited by soihok
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As mentioned earlier ...

He is acting the way he has for the past 40 years or whatever ....

Now you have come along and expect him to change immediately , because you buy whiskey & food & rent.

He didn't ask you to buy anything ... he didn't ask you to be his son in-law ...

It's the way he is and he won't change just because you came along ....

It's probably not that he resents you ... it's just the way he is & has been .. for a long time.

Second point ..... I certainly would'nt stop buying the whiskey & food ect ...... how do you think it would look if all of a sudden you stop buying or paying ...

What do you think the rest of the gang will think of you then ?

You will create a bigger mess than you have already !! believe me.

Just because he doesn't talk or bow to you should'nt be a concern at all. Just forget about it and get on with life !

I think you made the mistake of paying for the whiskey & food & rent from the start .... maybe cut back on the food & whiskey .. but don't stop it.

wai2.gif

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OK, I can see how easy it is to get into a situation like this…… But, not how you can’t get out of it.

To start with there will be no winners, your wife will side with the FI no matter what and you will not in control of what’s going on any more than you are now. Any action you now try to bring the FI into line will be seen as showing great disrespect to him, (by him)……Your wife will side with him, (no option) and you will move your status from; “nan farang’ too “nan farang keenok”………

I could say more, but I think it will come across as being rude or spiteful and I’m not trying to do that.

I will say just one thing more, I find it odd that your wife lives apart from you and the excuse regarding the child’s school, I find this a little odd considering Thai culture.

Good luck in sorting it out!

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Seems like he's got life figured out. You are the one with the problem.

He is who he is..................lol.

You are who you are..............lol.

I think fater in law is going to win-even though he isnt trying to.

Edited by choochoo
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Dude, are u trolling? LOL

If my father IL would treat me like that, I would stop the money flow to his rent payments and whiskey. Let's see how he gonna treat me then! Sure he would be more friendly and respectfull to me.

You can give all the money you want if a person isnt into you they just arent.

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Here's some more back story.

My life was a happy one before the father in law came into it. See he got out of jail after being locked up for over 1 year "long story"

Our house doesn't have a lot of room and I offered to move him out somewhere else so he could live alone but the wife was against it.

I just couldn't stand to live with that arrangement anymore and I found myself a apartment and moved out.

I come by and visit often and the wife stays with me half the time but goes back home to take care of her son and send him to school.

I am a day sleeper because of work and I need my rest and there is too much noise and not enough space at the house.

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