How much info about you, do you freely divulge to your students?

[petedk]

I'm 62 yrs old, male, and teach within a corporate context, where there is a great divide between management and staff. My job is to improve overall Eng. skills. The company I work for has traditionally supported the idea that managers should keep their distance from staff (in terms of personal relationships [non-sexual]), which has resulted in the worst staff-management atmosphere I have ever encountered. My students are mid 20s to early 30s, mostly female.

As for me, I am completely honest & open with my students and get as close to them as possible, which has resulted in the best teacher (manager) - staff relations in the history of the company. Last week, I brought in my old photo albums with pictures of me going all the way back... I talk to them no differently than I do with anyone else, and their response has been fantastic.

When I first began the class, I could not get anyone to say a word... it was like pulling teeth.

Now I can't get them to shut up.

When I first started, I stood up in front of the class and talked/acted like a teacher should.

Now I sit among them and just keep things flowing... they are all fully engaged and appear to very much enjoy the activity (as do I).

The feedback I have received from senior management has also been fantastic, and they are currently re-evaluating their entire approach to staff-management relations to improve the rather negative atmosphere that currently exists.

Each to his own, I guess. Clearly, others who have posted here disagree with this approach. But this has been my experience both in my professional and personal life here in Thailand. The main problem I have encountered is actually from mid-level managers who resent my success.

Office politics... what to do?

Also, in my experience with Thais in general, honestly is not only valued and appreciated, it's the very first thing they look for (for good reason, as we all know). Whenever I meet my wife's family or friends, it's the very first thing they scrutinize, (and they do scrutinize), and then they invariably turn to my wife and give their verdict... Jai dee - you chose well.

I also seldom encounter the problems typically expressed here in the TV forum.

My life in Thailand has not been 100% problem-free in this regard, but such negative encounters have been few and far between.

In fact, the biggest problems I have encountered to date have been with other expats... but that's another story entirely.

Anyhoo, for what it's worth, this has been my experience to date.

I wish you good luck in your new job, and suggest that you just be yourself.

I can see myself in you (even the age is the same)

Right now, I have been asked to teach a Flight Attendant course and to be honest the girls are nowhere near as attractive as my usual English majors.

On the other hand, and I am sorry to say this, their intelligence seems to be much lower. I had to take a completely different approach to teach them and adapted the same style as you did.

Forget the teacher student relationship. I sat myself down and talked with them. Found out what they expected to learn and so on.

All of this led to a lot of detailed information about me and about them.

Now the class seems to be working well. I get through to them by relating to personal experiences and they seem more interested.

On a final note: One girl did try to get too close by talking about her private sex life and asking more about mine but I told her that the line was drawn there.

[dao16]

I am at a university. Yes, 95% women and a lot of them are attractive.

I don't have a very impressive facebook page, so my students are always disappointed when they find it. I accept no requests.

But, I do spend a good 10-15 minutes with new groups just telling them a little about myself. They get a kick out of hearing about their new foreign teacher (again, stuff like "teacher, do you eat Thai food, can you speak Laos or Cambodian, are you married?). Also, I have lived in a lot of odd places over the years, and they like hearing about that. You would be surprised how important it is to get them excited about you and your "persona," so to speak, when it comes to staff and admin "evaluating" you. After that basic intro, though, it is all about class.

I do tell them about my travels a lot, since those are examples that are relevant in some of the classes I teach (which deal with the intercultural side of communication, not just mechanics, etc.). Those are great fun and are meant to be.

Otherwise, I will answer basic questions about how long I have been here, that I have a wife and all that. Aside from that, they really don't need to know about me at all. I have met some teachers who divulge WAY too much about themselves (to my stepdaughter's class!).

My rule of thumb is as follows: I tell them enough to keep them enthusiastic about me as an interesting teacher from another country, and no more.

Touching? Don't think I have ever touched a single student among the thousands I have taught.

EDIT--Forgot to include that, yes, we also had a meeting in which a high-ranking official talked about relationships with students for a few minutes. She basically said don't do it, or, if you are really in love, quit or tell them to take lots of term break classes to finish early and then you can start dating. That got a big laugh and we continued the meeting.

Edited October 13, 2014 by dao16

[Scott]

How much interest your students show in your personal life depends, in part, on their age. I started with a young group and they had little interest -- just some basic questions. I have worked with the same students periodically for many years. Some are now graduated from University, married with families and working. I am pretty sure they got most of their questions answered over time.

I do note that new teachers with slightly older students get a fair amount of questions.

Once with Mathyom students, I remember one of the boys asking me if I was gay. I told him "Thanks for asking, but you're really not my type," to which the whole class started laughing. He was teased for a while about that one!

[brianp0803]

Students are curious about our lives.

Students saw me talking a lot with a Thai teacher my age and asked if I liked her. I said she is my friend.

About a month later they saw me with a Thai guy at Paragon and asked if he was my boyfriend. I said he helps me learn thai.

About 2 weeks later they saw me having dinner with a farang teacher and asked if I liked him.

I said he is my friend.

Then we hired an American with Japanese heritage and students saw her in my office every day and joked about us arriving at school at the same time.

I often left with her to exercise at the gym together.

The high school boys joked about us going to "exercise" wink wink.

I told them she is my friend.

I told them my private life is private and they should respect all people.

It was funny they asked me about older Thai lady, younger Thai guy, younger farang guy, and younger Japanese lady.

They didn't care but we're curious.

Sometimes students would tell me that a student was gay or had dark skin.

They quickly learned my response that I didn't care as long as he did my homework.

Respect the other students.