Cross Cultures Canada v.s. Thailand

[bushwacker]

Of course the attitude of the children is a major disappointment, but as this would be your last action before death, you need to take the high road.

I would suggest that with the CPP benefit for the wife if she were to achieve age 35 is a good beginning. Then, I would treat the wife, and children as equals. The children are after all half of you. You would not cut off your arm because you were pissed off with it. Similarly the kids need to be given the benefit of the doubt and hope that maybe one day they will become what you now hope for. The Thai wife is similarly an important responsibility. Suggest that your will spell out all assets be split 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 excluding the CPP.

Explain to the kids that the wife is more needy than they are and that she is contributing a significant amount more to your happiness and quality of life but you are willing to treat everybody equally.

Ask them to think long and hard on it and get back to you with their opinion as now is the time to write people in or out of your Will.

Just saying ....

[laislica]

Of course the attitude of the children is a major disappointment, but as this would be your last action before death, you need to take the high road.

I would suggest that with the CPP benefit for the wife if she were to achieve age 35 is a good beginning. Then, I would treat the wife, and children as equals. The children are after all half of you. You would not cut off your arm because you were pissed off with it. Similarly the kids need to be given the benefit of the doubt and hope that maybe one day they will become what you now hope for. The Thai wife is similarly an important responsibility. Suggest that your will spell out all assets be split 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 excluding the CPP.

Explain to the kids that the wife is more needy than they are and that she is contributing a significant amount more to your happiness and quality of life but you are willing to treat everybody equally.

Ask them to think long and hard on it and get back to you with their opinion as now is the time to write people in or out of your Will.

Just saying ....

Or even explain that you have moved into a new culture and you are enjoying the benefits of that culture.

Also that in this new culture, children support their parents in their retirement but you are not asking them to do that!

Have a read of the book Thailand Fever, it's written in English and Thai and it explains both Western and Thai culture. I found that it was an important helper in the initial stages of our relationship. It taught me what my and her obligations are and I am totally happy with those obligations, as is my wife.

In the west, we are brought up to be individual and stand alone, to teach our children to do the same and I think the OP has done that.

Funds that the OP has accumulated are for him to use and enjoy.

Taking care of his young wife for life is what he is committed to do.

IMO there is no need to split his estate in a 30 30 30 way.

Sure, leave a token amount to the children but the bulk will be needed to take care of his wife.

As I said before, in my case, I am making arrangements now so that my wife will have an income for life.

I am spending my money now, there will be nothing to fight over.

By the time my Mum n Dad died, they had no money left and I got almost nothing - should I sue them? LOL

I don't feel that there is any "right" that children must share in the parents estate in the UK at least.

In Spain, it is different and they do have rights.

Explain what you would like to do and hope they are happy with that and get on with your new life.

If they don't accept your plan - up to them!

They would then become estranged - if it were me that is.

Edit

In the UK, the state pension is no longer offered to foreign people who have not paid into the system.

A bit strange since an English woman who never worked in her life, was only on benefits for example, would get a state pension..... But that's another story....

Edited October 25, 2014 by laislica

[pitchag]

hi My kids got my mothers money and will get their mothers money, they really don't need what I will leave, I made a will a few weeks ago at the local Ampour,(total cost 150 bht ) leaving all I own in Thailand ( condo ,pickup and money in bank) to my G/f

I am 66 and she is 43, we get on really well and after two western wives she is an eye opener on how to treat a man., I do not have one complaint about her she is frugal in her spending and keeps the condo spotless, she is all I wished for in the other two but sadley never got.

She gets go fantastic with my two grown up kids and they both agree she deserves the inheritance just for putting up with me, and for turning my life from one of trouble and trife to happy days again

[laislica]

hi My kids got my mothers money and will get their mothers money, they really don't need what I will leave, I made a will a few weeks ago at the local Ampour,(total cost 150 bht ) leaving all I own in Thailand ( condo ,pickup and money in bank) to my G/f

I am 66 and she is 43, we get on really well and after two western wives she is an eye opener on how to treat a man., I do not have one complaint about her she is frugal in her spending and keeps the condo spotless, she is all I wished for in the other two but sadley never got.

She gets go fantastic with my two grown up kids and they both agree she deserves the inheritance just for putting up with me, and for turning my life from one of trouble and trife to happy days again

Great to hear, thanks for sharing.

I feel the same way, I'm 72 and she is 52 but we behave as if I'm 27 and she is 25 LOL

[Tony125]

Elgordo38 made this post then dissapeared except he personaly messaged me his dislike for my resonse enen though he said "Brickbats welcomed "

elgordo38

Thanks for your negative comments. In the process you told me a lot about yourself. She is not a hot little bimbo but a real anchor in my life. Its amazing how one must stumble through the waste lands in life and then find some happiness in their "Golden" years. I guess one must go through the bad to come across the good.

Cheers Mate

Tony125:

1. You said "Thanks for your negative comments"------ your welcome.

2. You said in your OP "Brickbats welcomed " ------ Brickbats = a remark or comment which is highly critical and typically insulting. So I gave you what you asked for and now you take offense? The truth hurt ?

3. "Thanks for your negative comments. In the process you told me a lot about yourself." ------The only thing it told you about me is that I care for my child no matter how bad my relationship was with her mom and that she knows I still care for her even though I am 10,000 miles away and starting a new chapter in my life. As Georgemandm replied he has 2 daughters and a son in USA and his son has not spoken to him in years ( maybe doesn't like his new lifestyle) but when he passes he still we leave him something because he's still his son. I knew a German guy who came here after his wife of many years diviorced him, told me he thought they would be togther till they died but she no longer wanted him. He went to Australia started a business then came later to Thailand and married a young Thai girl. His sons disapproved, would not talk to him anymore, thought he disrespected their mom but he told me before he died he set up a will to give his son's some prpoerty and money in Australia but made sure his Thai wife got a home, some money (in Thai bank) and his pension .

4. I never called her a hot bimbo simply a hot young Thai girl wich most 25 year thai girls are and lets face it you know that in Canada, USA or Europe you would have 0 chance of being with a girl that young unless you were rich and famous and would be called a dirty old man and her a gold digger. Anna Nicole Smith was legally married to J. Howard Marshall but upon his son contesting the will the court aggreed that because of the age differance she married for the money and she got nothing. But you are here in Thailand and for a poor issan girl a monthly pension is probably 10+ times more than they make a month so they are willing to marry or take care of you for the support , home, security they get. No problem thats why most guys are here to be with someone who will at least act like they care and make them feel alive. both parties get what they want/need.

5. You say you diviorced 3 money grubbing wives back in Canada--you ever think maybe your the problem that you pick / choose gravitate towards those types of women? And that maybe your sons figured you owe them something for not being around in their youth?

6. as another poster mentioned:

http://www.thaivisa....m_campaign=news

Not saying this wiould happen to you but it happens here a lot--she also confessed to killing her 1st Japanese husband in 2003

7. You have only responded to me , no one else who posted comments in forum, kinda sorry you started this post? Ask the moderators to lock it.

PS I would leave " something " for my sons but its your life to do as you want but you asked for suggestions.

[benalibina]

Elgordo38 made this post then dissapeared except he personaly messaged me his dislike for my resonse enen though he said "Brickbats welcomed "

elgordo38

Thanks for your negative comments. In the process you told me a lot about yourself. She is not a hot little bimbo but a real anchor in my life. Its amazing how one must stumble through the waste lands in life and then find some happiness in their "Golden" years. I guess one must go through the bad to come across the good.

Cheers Mate

Tony125:

1. You said "Thanks for your negative comments"------ your welcome.

2. You said in your OP "Brickbats welcomed " ------ Brickbats = a remark or comment which is highly critical and typically insulting. So I gave you what you asked for and now you take offense? The truth hurt ?

3. "Thanks for your negative comments. In the process you told me a lot about yourself." ------The only thing it told you about me is that I care for my child no matter how bad my relationship was with her mom and that she knows I still care for her even though I am 10,000 miles away and starting a new chapter in my life. As Georgemandm replied he has 2 daughters and a son in USA and his son has not spoken to him in years ( maybe doesn't like his new lifestyle) but when he passes he still we leave him something because he's still his son. I knew a German guy who came here after his wife of many years diviorced him, told me he thought they would be togther till they died but she no longer wanted him. He went to Australia started a business then came later to Thailand and married a young Thai girl. His sons disapproved, would not talk to him anymore, thought he disrespected their mom but he told me before he died he set up a will to give his son's some prpoerty and money in Australia but made sure his Thai wife got a home, some money (in Thai bank) and his pension .

4. I never called her a hot bimbo simply a hot young Thai girl wich most 25 year thai girls are and lets face it you know that in Canada, USA or Europe you would have 0 chance of being with a girl that young unless you were rich and famous and would be called a dirty old man and her a gold digger. Anna Nicole Smith was legally married to J. Howard Marshall but upon his son contesting the will the court aggreed that because of the age differance she married for the money and she got nothing. But you are here in Thailand and for a poor issan girl a monthly pension is probably 10+ times more than they make a month so they are willing to marry or take care of you for the support , home, security they get. No problem thats why most guys are here to be with someone who will at least act like they care and make them feel alive. both parties get what they want/need.

5. You say you diviorced 3 money grubbing wives back in Canada--you ever think maybe your the problem that you pick / choose gravitate towards those types of women? And that maybe your sons figured you owe them something for not being around in their youth?

6. as another poster mentioned:

http://www.thaivisa....m_campaign=news

Not saying this wiould happen to you but it happens here a lot--she also confessed to killing her 1st Japanese husband in 2003

7. You have only responded to me , no one else who posted comments in forum, kinda sorry you started this post? Ask the moderators to lock it.

PS I would leave " something " for my sons but its your life to do as you want but you asked for suggestions.

I just wonder about the nerve you have to make a PM public, regardless the content. Most likely the OP has

not seen it yet.

Morals and ethics....you should know better.