How many Farang live with Thai inlaws?

[flyingsaucersarereal]

How common is this in Thailand?

For awhile I lived with my wifes parents but it just became just to much to bear.

I have since moved on and am not in that relationship anymore. But what I am asking is living with the inlaws something that other farang do here?

I understand this is something that Thai's do but I feel like it is too much to expect a farang to live like this.

I would like some feedback on if this is a reasonable request by your Thai spouse to live with her parents.

Here are some problems I had with living with my inlaws.

1. They never worked just sat around.

2. Being in my room moving my things ( I have no space to myself)

3. Never having any alone time with my wife.

4. Butting into issues related to money that only my wife and I should discuss.

Edited November 8, 2014 by flyingsaucersarereal

[David48]

Since you 'have since moved on and am not in that relationship anymore' ... does the answer matter to you?

Interesting ...

.

[geronimo]

Generally speaking, there is no privacy in a Thai home. Living with Thais (in their house) leaves you open to everything, culture wise.

I lived with Thais years ago and the only thing that got to me was the "no private space" thing.

I think it is important to distinguish between the In laws coming to live with farang, or the other way round. If you're in their house then bite the bullet. In your home, I think certain things need to be understood by all.

[mitsubishi]

Only fools let themselves end up in the soft-prison of the in-law ordeal.

Farang's with their heads on right don't allow it to happen, but their partners may insist and basically hen-peck their husbands into complying.

[ChrisB87]

I don't live with the inlaws. Our house is our house. Their house is their house. This is pretty normal in Thailand, although some westerners are tricked into believing that the culture here is for the whole family to move in with you when you get a house. I would say that usually only happens with the families that are out to "benefit" from you as much as possible.

[krisb]

Only fools let themselves end up in the soft-prison of the in-law ordeal.

Farang's with their heads on right don't allow it to happen, but their partners may insist and basically hen-peck their husbands into complying.

Depends on the inlaws and the size of the house.

Edited November 9, 2014 by krisb

[mesquite]

Shouldn't be a problem for the TV expat crowd as we all have Chinese-descent hi-so wives and the family compound is large enough to allow for privacy.

Edited November 9, 2014 by mesquite

[Soutpeel]

Shouldn't be a problem for the TV expat crowd as we all have Chinese-descent hi-so wives and the family compound is large enough to allow for privacy.

Yes of course, but don't you find the 12 Burmese maids, 2 Gardeners, and 3 chauffeurs get rather intrusive and annoying at times, ?

Never lived with the outlaws, had no intentions of ever living with the outlaws, and in the last two years, my Mrs became an "orphan" should never have that problem in the future either.

and if we do get other visitors who try an outstay their welcome a swift hit with a broom or rolled up newspaper generally sends them on their way.

[cooked]

Build a new house. In two houses, one of which is slightly above the average Thai style, I have a granddaughter here, wife's daughter plus husband and two sons living in the Thai house along with one wife and another grandson. We will be building a fifth (don't do the maths) house soon to make things easier as well as a guest room with separate entrance here. They are all hard working and helpful, we have a few dogs that BARK so they don't just come by to have a chat.

When they had no money for food due to not being paid for their rice, they asked us, not for money, but one of our ducks. They got it.

We do have a large compound, sorry about that, my wife didn't sell off land to pay for whisky like most of the people in the village.

Edited November 9, 2014 by cooked

[apetley]

After moving back to Thailand, following 3 years in the UK, wifey and I moved in with her parents.

I was ok with it but it wasn't long before wifey insisted on moving to our own rental.

She'd gotten to enjoy her own quiet and privacy in the UK and didn't enjoy moving back into the old home.

[AlexRRR]

Its not for me i like my privacy, and that includes brothers and sisters too from both sides of the family.

[eeeya]

Me and wifey stay with the in-laws once a week. They renovated so we could do so.

[Derek J M]

Not a good idea. Yes lazy are heck! what is theirs is theirs and what is yours also is theirs! Lazy arsed Brother privacy none at all!

but you do really get to see how lazy and stupid some Thai (not all some) people are..so lazy can´t switch off a light for a room that

never gets used or seldom used, walk away leave TV and fan on or switch on..Total inconsideration when they are slightly ill all hands

to the deck and off to local hospital but when it´s you (poor me just the farang father of their granddaughter) left for 4 hours doubled up in pain

as A-hole father out law off at the farm feeding cows and pigs and lazing about on the hammock (end result 4 day stay a hospital when I eventually

got there!

Lesson learned! Since Buddhism teaches impermanace of all things gf´s no, Wifes´no Gik´s yes! well if everything is going to be impermanent they might as well enjoy a bit of fun while it lasts with a gik. My experience after a few years here that Thai´s make great giks, good gf´s, not so good fiancee´s and worse wifes! so Giks it is!

[mesquite]

Not a good idea. Yes lazy are heck! what is theirs is theirs and what is yours also is theirs! Lazy arsed Brother privacy none at all!

but you do really get to see how lazy and stupid some Thai (not all some) people are..so lazy can´t switch off a light for a room that

never gets used or seldom used, walk away leave TV and fan on or switch on..Total inconsideration when they are slightly ill all hands

to the deck and off to local hospital but when it´s you (poor me just the farang father of their granddaughter) left for 4 hours doubled up in pain

as A-hole father out law off at the farm feeding cows and pigs and lazing about on the hammock (end result 4 day stay a hospital when I eventually

got there!

Lesson learned! Since Buddhism teaches impermanace of all things gf´s no, Wifes´no Gik´s yes! well if everything is going to be impermanent they might as well enjoy a bit of fun while it lasts with a gik. My experience after a few years here that Thai´s make great giks, good gf´s, not so good fiancee´s and worse wifes! so Giks it is!

Yes!

Edited November 9, 2014 by mesquite

[Jdiddy]

Not a problem for me, i have a Chinese-descent hi-so wife and the family compound is large enough to allow privacy, even when i go into the maids room for some "extracurricular activities"

[WhamBam]

I would not be comfortable living with the in-laws. I like to do my own thing.

I did live with mother on one side and sister and her husband on the other side. Never really had problems with them entering the house unannounced. Each family is different.

[villa82]

I would not be comfortable living with the in-laws. I like to do my own thing.

I did live with mother on one side and sister and her husband on the other side. Never really had problems with them entering the house unannounced. Each family is different.

Yeah, same here, my in-laws live next door, they rarely come into our house, and always knock and ask to come in before entering.

[WorriedNoodle]

Yes of course, but don't you find the 12 Burmese maids, 2 Gardeners, and 3 chauffeurs get rather intrusive and annoying at times, ?

Whenever our Burmese servants get a little too familiar, wifey always sorts them out, usually by sending them packing at the end of the month and getting them replaced the same day. Seems to work out OK at least for now when there seems to be a never ending supply of them.

[WorriedNoodle]

Yes of course, but don't you find the 12 Burmese maids, 2 Gardeners, and 3 chauffeurs get rather intrusive and annoying at times, ?

Whenever our Burmese servants get a little too familiar, wifey always sorts them out, usually by sending them packing at the end of the month and getting them replaced the same day. Seems to work out OK at least for now when there seems to be a never ending supply of them.

[mrtoad]

How many live with their "brother in law"???

[mrtoad]

Yes of course, but don't you find the 12 Burmese maids, 2 Gardeners, and 3 chauffeurs get rather intrusive and annoying at times, ?

Whenever our Burmese servants get a little too familiar, wifey always sorts them out, usually by sending them packing at the end of the month and getting them replaced the same day. Seems to work out OK at least for now when there seems to be a never ending supply of them.

We normally take them out on our boat and throw them overboard. If it's good enough for The Thai Navy , it's good enough for us.

[sipi]

My in-laws are our neighbors; both sides, and across the road. I honestly can't complain.

[Dmaxdan]

I lived with my Mother and Father in law for about 18 months while we were settling in, then having a house built. It was great, the only thing I was ever asked to pay for was the electric, which was about 300 baht a month. We now live about 100 metres away, and it is still great. But then all my in laws are fantastic, I love them dearly.

[franck1972]

I had big concerns as my gf told me that her mother would come up from Nakhon Si Tammarat to Bangkok to take care of our new born child.

Read so many horror stories here, that I preferred to postpone any wedding, before I would see if it'll match.

I've been now living with my mother in law, brother in law, and also sometimes the sister in law, and everything is just great.

The brother is great cook, always helpful, takes also a good care of my son.

My mother in law is also a great person, always trying her best to make everything run smooth.

Privacy ? No problem at all.

We have two connected rooms, they just knock at the door every single time.

My family in law is from the south, and I heard that these people are quite different from other thai.

After 3 years, I just feel happy with them, beside the language which is still a barrier, I don't really feel like we're belonging to different culture.

Sure there are differences, but we accept each other's difference.

I would say we work as a team, where everybody brings its knowledge for the wealth of the others.
Well everything's just fine

[jaywalker]

Only fools let themselves end up in the soft-prison of the in-law ordeal.

Farang's with their heads on right don't allow it to happen, but their partners may insist and basically hen-peck their husbands into complying.

Depends on the inlaws and the size of the house.

I've had more than one carnal thought about my sister-in-law. Just thoughts mind you.

Good thing she lives in a different house!

[enufsaid]

ChrisB87, in Asian culture many oldest sons live with their parents once married or their parents live with them & it's the oldest sons job to take care of them . No trickery just culture

[NanLaew]

Ok so I was out a few nights ago talking to another expat and he was saying that he knows a few people that let there wives control all there money are living with their in-laws...

[jaywalker]

ChrisB87, in Asian culture many oldest sons live with their parents once married or their parents live with them & it's the oldest sons job to take care of them . No trickery just culture

My Thai brother-in-law (wife's sister's husband) did/does this.

Wifey is always telling me how her sister's Mother-in-law is driving her nuts!

I forget who said it, but "Give me liberty or give me death" seems appropriate when it comes to living with in-laws.

[tancred]

Yes of course, but don't you find the 12 Burmese maids, 2 Gardeners, and 3 chauffeurs get rather intrusive and annoying at times, ?

Whenever our Burmese servants get a little too familiar, wifey always sorts them out, usually by sending them packing at the end of the month and getting them replaced the same day. Seems to work out OK at least for now when there seems to be a never ending supply of them.

Why send them back to their hovels,just give them a letter to take to local Police to administer 10 strokes of the cane it will teach them who's MASTER,

[alien365]

I've been living with the inlaws for nearly three years and it's not a problem. But I suppose I went from a shared house while at uni to a shared house while working in London. They cook, wash up and clean the house allowing me and the missus to work and relax in the evening. They're always happy to help and never ask for money. I give them 4k a month for food that feeds all of us. If however there were any other family members who wanted to join in the fun, then I'm sorry, the answer would have been no. No matter how much pressure was put on me.