Meeting Thai Girls Off The Internet For Relationships

[leftcross]

i have read in various publications about people meeting thai girls off the internet to form relationships.

in fact the people writing the stuff said the only reason they joined these site were to meet thai girls.

i was very surprised to read in stickman's column this week that he met his wife off the internet.

this is just my opinion, but it seems very odd and sad too.

i can't think of another country where the odds are so heavily stacked in a young (and not-so-young, you cheeky old devils!) white man's favour.

everywhere you go there are opportunities to meet thai girls for relationships and, let's face it, the vast majority of thai girls are so naturally attractive that even going to the 7-11 means you are confronted with women so beautiful they make your head spin.

all it takes is a bit of chit chat and you are off - thai girls are so receptive, if initially shy.

now, when i think of people on the internet trying to meet thai girls i think of people without any social skills. i think of people incapable of the most basic form of interaction.

to an extent i can understand people doing it in the west. a smile and a bit of chit chat back home may get you booted between the legs (at least). but out here it just seems completely crazy.

is it the same as picking a women from a mail order bride catalogue or have i got it all wrong?

Edited August 1, 2006 by leftcross

[bkkmadness]

this is just my opinion, but it seems very odd and sad too.

I dont think its sad, but definately something a little odd about it for me. Wheres the romance there, the stuttered words, the stupid things you say when you meet a girl for the first time? Does love at first sight now include webcam conversations?

i can't think of another country where the odds are so heavily stacked in a young (and not-so-young, you cheeky old devils!) white man's favour.

everywhere you go there are opportunities to meet thai girls for relationships and, let's face it, the vast majority of thai girls are so naturally attractive that even going to the 7-11 means you are confronted with women so beautiful they make your head spin.

Thats true, but theres always reasons behind this. Many of the people are not here but still have the chance of finding a girl to meet on there next or first trip out. Some people are naturally shy and the thought of chatting to a girl in the 7/11 freaks them out. Some people use the medium of the net to meet girls whilst sitting at office. Its all about convenience.

now, when i think of people on the internet trying to meet thai girls i think of people without any social skills. i think of people incapable of the most basic form of interaction.

I suppose we could tweak that a little to say people using forums don't have any social skills, I mean why dont we all just meet in the street/bar/restaurant and chat? We use the net, because it gives us a wider range of people to chat to at our convenience whether we are in the same country or not.

And really, just because someone lacks some social skills, its not a crime is it, just shyness sometimes, it gives those people opportunites too, thats a good thing.

is it the same as picking a women from a mail order bride catalogue or have i got it all wrong?

I don't think so, thats like picking a item for sale from a catalogue almost, though again if both people are up for it I'm not against the idea morally, though I do think its pretty crazy.

The internet allows people to meet and chat for a while before they even decide to go on a date, thats a safety buffer for some, and gives more opportunites for others. I wouldn't say its my first choice for meeting a girl coz I got that romantic touch in me, but overall I wouldn't be against the idea.

Horses for courses I suppose.

[tourleadersi]

Its a good point Leftie.

I had a friend in the UK who was so crushingly shy when it came to talking to the opposite sex that we all began to despair for his future as he so desperately wanted a girlfriend. Then the internet came along and he met a woman in America and they are now happily married. It seemed like the internet was the perfect way to overcome their shyness and get to know each other before they met and made any serious social gaffs.

As for out here, you are right, it is very easy to strike up a conversation with almost any local. The fact that if that person happens to be an attractive women and there is very little chance of being slammed does give one a fair degree of confidence helping to overcome the nerves. Is it laziness that some men still rely on the internet to make the initial meeting? I don't think so, but it is possible that there are alterior motives at work.

Whereas in the case of my friend he used the internet to buy confidence, I think the case you are talking about is in an attempt to buy time. Many men coming here to search for a potential wife may only have 2 weeks before needing to return home. It is possible they are using the internet to search for a suitable partner ahead of their arrival here in the LOS.

So in answer to your question. Yes, I think this internet search is going to slowly phase out the infamous mail order bride services as a way for western men to meet potential soul mates.

[Ling Kae]

I have to say when I go to the internet shops around here in Pattaya there are always several girls talking to farang males on the net.

The girl generally is fairly conversant with the English language. She can have multiple chat windows open at any time. Some girls are only in it for the money and will try to extract as much money as they can from any number of guys, others might be genuine or just out for a bit of fun. The ones that don't read or write much English get the shop owners to translate their Thai letters to English and get them to send it using their email address.

The typical guy on the other end (during chat) is usually out of the country and most of the time it's actually young guys their own age. They have web cams, that's how I can see how young they are. The first question the girl asks is where are you from. They in particular favour farang males. I am sure the young guys would love to be here but they have their jobs and University to deal with plus they don't usually have a great deal of money at their disposal.

Then there is one other way it works. A Thai lady I know puts ladies photos, name and age with a few comments on a website. She trys to attract farang males to mostly middle aged Issan women, usually ones that been abandoned by Thai men. These women are happy to find a farang soul mate and live overseas. When a meeting is arranged between the lady and the farang and everything goes ok and they hit it off then the farang pays a fee to the facilitator which is then split between the facilitator and the lady concerned. If they are not compatable the lady goes her way and he is. At the first meeting both women will be there and it is up to the woman concerned as to how the situation continues. Sometimes they have several meetings with both women being there untill the lady concerned is comfortable.

Same as mail order? I don't think so as the meeting usually takes place in Thailand and usually in Issan somewhere. As long as everyone is happy it can only be a good thing.

[Heng]

everywhere you go there are opportunities to meet thai girls for relationships and, let's face it, the vast majority of thai girls are so naturally attractive that even going to the 7-11 means you are confronted with women so beautiful they make your head spin.

Unfortunately, like most places in the world: quantity and even beauty in quantity doesn't mean quality. For example, ThaiVisa isn't littered with dowry debates and tales of falangs fleeced by folks with por 3 educations because it's easy for them to meet attractive gals from the same socio-economic level. The hope is clearly that online dating will allow them to filter out and throw back what's unwanted.

[guardian]

Now on this topic, what about those whackos.............. male pretending to be female and female pretending to be male...................???

Or the ones who are not truthful of their personalities, physiques, etc....?

Guardian

[egeefay]

I know of one couple who met over the internet matching service, struck up a good relationship and are happily married today.

Sometimes the internet gives people a chance to find a match with others who share the same interests and temperment.

By the time they actually meet, internet couples are already familiar with the important details of the other person, their political views, religious affiliation, values and beliefs.

A lot better than meeting someone by chance in a bar or 7-11 store, in my opinion

Edited August 1, 2006 by egeefay

[kerryk]

XXXX met his wife on Thai Visa. Sometimes when the male is politically correct and a swell guy relationships are formed on line, even here.

Most of the ladies are from Issan and seem to have a very good English vocabulary until met in person.

The best way is through and intermediary who will translate.

It is a shame that some people compare these ladies to bar girls because obviously they are not of the same genre.

If well coached the inter net honeys hold out for three months as opposed to the other women who offer instant gratification.

I think internet dating is a great idea for those who’s egos are tied to never having to pay for it.

The online ladies make it painless and offer a lot of freebies before the actual monetary exchange takes place.

[britmaveric]

Internet is good tool for friendships, but not so certain in the love dept. Need physical contact and thats lacking.

[Soju]

i can't think of another country where the odds are so heavily stacked in a young (and not-so-young, you cheeky old devils!) white man's favour.

everywhere you go there are opportunities to meet thai girls for relationships and, let's face it, the vast majority of thai girls are so naturally attractive that even going to the 7-11 means you are confronted with women so beautiful they make your head spin.

I take it you haven't been to the Philippines. IMHO, it's much easier to meet a woman there, plus most of them speak English. Some of them (regular girls, not bar girls) will even approach you either directly or through a friend. Regardless of if they approach you or not, their eyes and body language will let you know if they're interested. Not to mention, most of them speak passable English as English is sort of a second language in the Philippines. I personally do not care much for Filipino culture or food, find the country to be alarmingly dangerous, and find 99.9% of Filipino women to be far from attractive. But there's lots and lots of guys that love it and find the woman of their dreams there. Look at any general purpose internet dating site and yuo'll likely see that Filipinas outnumber Thai women by 100:1 or more. Even the world's shyest guy could go to the Philippines and find a girl.

[Donz]

I remember meeting a girl off the internet, me and a few friends went to her house, she said she was blonde blue eyes and fit, when we got to the house she answered, she was a beast.

She still wasnt ready and she said she will be a few minutes and to come in, I said nah we will wait out here.

As soon as she closed the door we got in the car and drove off...

This was when i was 17, for some reason she didnt answer me on my msn anymore (i think it was yahoo messanger )

[rainman]

i don't understand the people meeting their wifes on the internet, chat rooms, agencies or whatever. i'm more old fashioned ..i won my wife playing poker.

[Donz]

i don't understand the people meeting their wifes on the internet, chat rooms, agencies or whatever. i'm more old fashioned ..i won my wife playing poker.

You wife looks good, want to play me in poker??

[rainman]

You wife looks good, want to play me in poker??

dont play poker anymore. i went out on the top of my game.

[meadish_sweetball]

It's just a new form of meeting people, no more, no less.

I don't think there is any need to see it as a medium for the socially inapt, as that's not really true. People with as well as without social skills use the Internet.

Some basic personal protection is in order: get a second email address with no clues to your real identity to avoid stalkers, and away you go.

[Donz]

I can imagine some pick up lines, I got a massive disk drive, when my hard drive is on I will give you a mega bite.

[tourleadersi]

I can imagine some pick up lines, I got a massive disk drive, when my hard drive is on I will give you a mega bite.

I don't get it. Are you saying there could be something funny in people discussing their 3.5 inch floppies, how they love to download or how much RAM they have?

[Donz]

I dont think the girls like floppy disks.

[Kf6vci]

Well, I disagree with the original post. Since many people spend a few hours most days online, chatting with ladies is kinda normal. And the generalisation that only those who are socially inept do it is as wrong as prohibition. ** Websites like ThaiLoveLinks let farang browse and they can filter for ladies who have a PhD if that's what they want. ** People have their dreams and farang men appear to be adapting their presentations accordingly, now stressing that they have "a good heart"

[Woodentop]

I met my g/f on ICQ (she found me actually), and to me this a very good and efficient way of meeting a good girl in Thailand. I live here, but do not like the bargirl type. If not for the internet, how would I meet my g/f, who is a finance & accounting manager with a masters degree? Not in a bar, for sure!

If you prefer an uneducated, poor girl from a bar or 7/11 because she looks great, well that is your choice. But my guess is that after a few weeks, you will get bored with her empty head, no matter how good the sex.

Off topic, Tourleader and Guesthouse: Sorry to have overreacted a wee bit previously.

[daleyboy]

I dont think the girls like floppy disks.

Thats what your missus told me the other night when we were talking about you on msn

[Neeranam]

everywhere you go there are opportunities to meet thai girls for relationships and, let's face it, the vast majority of thai girls are so naturally attractive that even going to the 7-11 means you are confronted with women so beautiful they make your head spin.

I agree totally. I can't believe some guys I know going down soi 7 and paying for it every time they want a shag. Fair enough if you're an ugly pensioner. I think it's a good way to meet a woman before you come here, but I'm sure many get hooked up with some relatively ugly Isarn hairdresser who has 2 kids and over 35, and then regret it. I see them all the time up here in Isarn on the internet. I call it internet freelancing.

I met a few girls on the internet before I was married. I used Yahoo chat and they were all really nice honest girsl. One even picked me up after our second internet conversation in a red-plated BMW - a beautiful 29 year old Thammasat graduate in politics, who was having her shop opening party in the Emporium that night. She was way too intelligent for me though - as they say opposites attract!

Who wants a Thai gf that knows more about the Middle Eastern Crises than they do

[bkkmadness]

I met my g/f on ICQ (she found me actually), and to me this a very good and efficient way of meeting a good girl in Thailand. I live here, but do not like the bargirl type. If not for the internet, how would I meet my g/f, who is a finance & accounting manager with a masters degree? Not in a bar, for sure!

Last I heard girls with masters degrees still go to bars and then of course theres the million other places in Bangkok you could have met, the street, the shops, etc.

[meadish_sweetball]

I met my g/f on ICQ (she found me actually), and to me this a very good and efficient way of meeting a good girl in Thailand. I live here, but do not like the bargirl type. If not for the internet, how would I meet my g/f, who is a finance & accounting manager with a masters degree? Not in a bar, for sure!

Last I heard girls with masters degrees still go to bars and then of course theres the million other places in Bangkok you could have met, the street, the shops, etc.

I still think he has a point - there is a greater chance of meeting a girl with a higher education on the Net, and it's also an environment where both parties can feel more at ease and have time to suss each other out a bit more before meeting for real (and it is also an environment where you dont have to entertain otherwise obligatory chaperons/friends). A primary screening process for both parties.

Seems like a good idea to me. But in the end it has its negative sides as well, as people sometimes come off very differently online than they do in real life.

[leftcross]

I met my g/f on ICQ (she found me actually),

she didn't find you, she logged onto a computer and you, and millions of others, were there. were is the romance, the fate and as someone said the stuttered words and butterflies in your stomach?? it all seems very contrived to me.

and to me this a very good and efficient way of meeting a good girl in Thailand. I live here, but do not like the bargirl type. If not for the internet, how would I meet my g/f, who is a finance & accounting manager with a masters degree? Not in a bar, for sure!

i believe there is a big wide world between the internet and bar girls....

If you prefer an uneducated, poor girl from a bar or 7/11 because she looks great, well that is your choice. But my guess is that after a few weeks, you will get bored with her empty head, no matter how good the sex.

you misread what i wrote. my wife has a degree etc etc and guess what - i met her in real life!!! i saw her and fell in love with her the first time i laid eyes on her. i sh*t myself at the prospect of talking to her, the feeling i had when i walked up to her was unbelievable.

hardly the same as someone typing a/s/l is it????

[Valjean]

The Internet is the way millions and millions of people around the world meet now. I’m rather amazed that people are surprised about this or think it’s and more problematic that other dating strategies (exception noted below). It is 2006.

I’ve been living in Thailand for a little over a year and have a good job, fine social skills and am reasonably looking. I’m not big on bars and malls and meeting women that way. I’ve had great luck on Thailovelinks. I spend a little time getting to know someone online, might be over a few days or weeks. Exchange some pictures, find out some of what they are up to; work, family, looking for in relationship. I did this initially not looking for a relationship just to find some women friends for dinner, movie and maybe some weekend trips.

My experience is that 95% what people say is what you get if you’re paying attention. I’ve met mostly interesting people (trying to do my filtering first), sometimes small business owners, executives, office workers, students, creative directors – really a wide range. I’ve found it really successful. I’d say 70% are one date only. You just don’t know until you meet someone – but in fairness to the long distance relationships my risk at meeting is low so I don’t spend months getting to know someone. If I have the time and they are in the range of what interests me then I’m inclined to say “let’s go eat after work”. I’ve made a few friends that have never become romantic or sexual but I see every month or two, chat on the phone and exchange mails to stay in touch. And just two have been what I guess you’d call gigs – one who has remained a good and trusted friend to do things with, a little travel and such for over 8 months. If I was really in the hunt for a wife or serious relationship I could be looking harder and with more diligence. But along with women I meet other ways it was an easy and ultimately successful way to make some friends, have companions to do things with and a lot of fun. Don’t look much now because my social calendar is full.

I also once before my first visit to Chaing Mai searched for women there and narrowed down to three that for evenings or day sightseeing. It was rather nice to show up in town and have some women to go do things with. Of the three I met with one was a student and we had lunch and spent the afternoon at Doi Sutep and that was that. One was a nurse and we had a fun day with a friend and a little more fun that evening :-) – very good time but that was that. And the third owns an i-café and we have been come good friends now for 8-9 months. Nothing between us “just friends” but we chat from time to time, when she’s here we see each other, I see her when I go up there, she helped show my mom and sister around CM. Great woman. I think this is sort of typical. Sometimes there isn’t any chemistry, sometimes it’s “hot and then that’s that” and a few times good friends or romance come about.

I do know women I’ve chatted with and/or met that have met up with guys. One marriage (to an American and she moved there – college educated, well traveled, manager type), one that started online for months, he came here and they had a lovely time and now she is going to see him in the UK this month. It does happen.

My experience talking to the women I’ve met or chatted with a long about their experiences online are not similar to mine in that a significant percentage of the men outside of Thailand have the idea that too many of these women are either a) a bg of will after meeting them online just take off on vacation for a week or two when they come to Thailand. Or they just want dirty chat (that dog don’t hunt). In most case the women have jobs and the attitude of “you come see me and fit around my schedule – if we hit it off we can go from there”. They aren’t going to schedule their yearly vacation to go off with a guy they don’t really know. They have the same good experiences as me it’s just that my odds and opportunities are just so much better. (this is Thailand…). I suppose there might be plenty of poorer upcountry women who would take the chance and head on down to a resort with a guy to see what happens. You can always get back on the bus home.

The exception in terms of being problematic clearly is are two people meeting across the Internet and across cultures. As noted above I’ve seen it work (or at least head in that direction) but both of these women have a lot on the ball, are independent, worldly, etc. There are plenty of what I am sure are good-hearted women from upcountry looking for a husband. Some are teachers, government workers, etc. and some are farmers and factory workers. Again I think all the normal Thai-Farang challenges exist here with an added complexity of talking via the Internet and across languages without that face to face contact and personal experience. But lighting strikes sometimes so who knows and who am I to say…

If I had more time I'd write a shorter post. But that's my two baht on the subject.

[leftcross]

it's the difference between struggling to land a big fish with a line and then cooking it over an open fire by the side of the river or buying it in a tin from the supermarket.

it's the difference between knocking someone out in a bar who has really been asking for it or completing a five-button combination on tekken 3 on the playstation

it's the difference between bedding a beautiful woman or watching a top porn star on dvd

some people like to live their lives real.

[Lacoste]

everywhere you go there are opportunities to meet thai girls for relationships and, let's face it, the vast majority of thai girls are so naturally attractive that even going to the 7-11 means you are confronted with women so beautiful they make your head spin.

I agree totally. I can't believe some guys I know going down soi 7 and paying for it every time they want a shag. Fair enough if you're an ugly pensioner. I think it's a good way to meet a woman before you come here, but I'm sure many get hooked up with some relatively ugly Isarn hairdresser who has 2 kids and over 35, and then regret it. I see them all the time up here in Isarn on the internet. I call it internet freelancing.

I met a few girls on the internet before I was married. I used Yahoo chat and they were all really nice honest girsl. One even picked me up after our second internet conversation in a red-plated BMW - a beautiful 29 year old Thammasat graduate in politics, who was having her shop opening party in the Emporium that night. She was way too intelligent for me though - as they say opposites attract!

Who wants a Thai gf that knows more about the Middle Eastern Crises than they do

So what happened, did you revert back to the ugly Isarn hairdresser who has 2 kids and over 35?

[Neeranam]

So what happened, did you revert back to the ugly Isarn hairdresser who has 2 kids and over 35?

I was never with an Isarn hairdresser

Actually I don't find Isarnese women attractive, mine is from central Thailand just north of Bangkok.

"mai chawp dtung maeb"

Edited August 6, 2006 by Neeranam

[Lacoste]

I also find Isarn girls to be rather gorillaesque, with there large flat noses, pronounced foreheads and masculin jaw lines.

As for when they get a little older, well.