OK, I admit this is a funny one, and what do you know, NOT a baht bus thread!

At first I thought, this must just be a coincidence.

Then I thought, WOW, Friendship must have REALLY beefed up their security recently.

But then it kept happening, again, again, and again ... like clockwork.

What is it?

Well, when I go shopping at Friendship there is a security guard who seems to be ALWAYS on my case!

Move aisle ... look right, look left, there he is AGAIN looking at me!

Again and again.

What can I think but think he thinks he's gonna catch a thief ... in his mind ... ME.

The experience reminds me of when I was a wild hippie teenager and they probably had a good reason to keep an eye on me. Also what black Americans tell me they often experience, getting racially profiled and special attention in some stores.

What could it be? Why me?

Well, I don't know and I don't intend to ask.

Maybe someone who looks me (we all look alike, innit) really has done something naughty in that store. Maybe I'm being racially profiled (probably for Arab/Middle Eastern, Thais don't usually know from Woody Allen type Jews).

Not looking for advice. I'm not going to do anything about it. But it does make my shopping trips a little CREEPY. Being WATCHED and knowing it, in other words.

Maybe you are looking at this all wrong and the security guard just thinks you are sexy man and can't take his eyes off of you. To him, you're just too good to be true.

Maybe you are looking at this all wrong and the security guard just thinks you are sexy man.

I thought of that. That can't be it. The security guard isn't a zoftig Russkie woman of a certain age. With those types, I need to get out the bat!

He has a crush on you, what else could it be!

And good to know that you are a woody Allen lookalike, this makes our profiling easier.

Restaurateurs and Baht bus drivers out there, if you see someone similar to woody Allen taking notes, it's HIM!

:-P

im sure we can collectively come up with something funny for you to do next time it happens

He has a crush on you, what else could it be!

And good to know that you are a woody Allen lookalike, this makes our profiling easier.

Restaurateurs and Baht bus drivers out there, if you see someone similar to woody Allen taking notes, it's HIM!

:-P

He seems past his raging hormones date.

Yeah, but how do you know I really look like Woody Allen; I might actually look like Jerry Seinfeld or perhaps Yasser Arafat, just to PUNK y'all?!?

im sure we can collectively come up with something funny for you to do next time it happens

I like that but careful, that old dude is ready to CUFF me! Nothing too extreme!

The lyrics sum it up.

I wonder: do those guys get canned if they never catch anyone?

Does he have a German accent and is about 94 years old with a Movember look about him?

Just walk up to him and ask him out on a date. You'll either have a new friend or he won't be watching you anymore.

Just walk up to him and ask him out on a date. You'll either have a new friend or he won't be watching you anymore.

I'd rather date some of those Russian matrons, but thanks anyway!

Just show him your middle finger and after a few times he will quit bothering you...

The guard is anti semitic that's why he's racially profiling you.

Just smile at him, and see what he does....., ????

Stare at him and pick your nose.

Stare at him and pick your nose.

Is nose-picking taboo in Thailand?

I have seen some adults really mining deep with no concern whether the public is watching.

I wasn't sure what the protocol was here.

Cheers

He probably has to take the Baht Bus to work every day and he's looking for tips off you but he's too shy to ask...

Guess his gaydar is working, but it's tuned to the wrong frequency.

"What's that blip?" "It's a blimp." "Huh? I said blip?" "And I said 'blimp', cause it's fat." "And gay ."

JT

next time he looks give him a wink-he,ll either be embarassed or you,ll have a date

JT

next time he looks give him a wink-he,ll either be embarassed or you,ll have a date

I'm not sure I can pull of a convincing wink to this character. He's pretty severe looking. But I'm considering licking my lips. I could be thinking about the delicious dishes I will be cooking with the food purchased.

Which brings up another question. It's not like I don't buy stuff there. I buy plenty. Isn't the typical shoplifter profile someone who buys a cheap candy and has stuffed some caviar in their jockey shorts? You know ... the old "Russian bulge" gambit.

I'd walk up & yammer away at him in English, get the blank look, then ask him in (in my basic Thai) why he's looking at me all the time.

Make sure there are a few people around & make him look stupid(er) & he'll likely run the next time you show up.

AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! It's that guy that made me look stupid!

Then again he may be learning English & wants to yap with you a bit to practice. If so encourage him. Lord knows lots of them need that.

I don't plan on confronting him but that does give me a fun idea. Perhaps act like I think he a customer service worker and ask him about recipes for guacamole. When he gives a blank stare, just keep asking LOUDER AND LOUDER (in English of course) in try ugly American style. Of course, that could backfire if the theories about his having a crush are true.

Change shops ?

Change shops ?

Out of the question.

Maybe you are looking at this all wrong and the security guard just thinks you are sexy man.

I thought of that. That can't be it. The security guard isn't a zoftig Russkie woman of a certain age. With those types, I need to get out the bat!

Do you wear sunglasses while shopping?

Could it be the way you walk,shaking that booty

No sunglasses. Like I said before, I don't think it is a sexual attraction thing. Really.

Ask him where to find the KY and whether they carry fluffy handcuffs