becoming impatient in bangkok

[Nuddy]

I feel the same when I am in Sydney Australia

[ttthailand]

OP it is normal to feel that way sometimes but try to chill out... The traffic thing where people try to cut in after you have waited in the correct lane and they think they can just go to the front and cut does get to me sometimes and I just move up and not let them in, screw them !

Having said that I do find myself in other things just going with the flow and trying to enjoy life without getting upset. Not easy sometimes but I try. My gf also gives me the silent treatment when I get a little pushy so I am trying to please her too I guess.

[SoiBiker]

To be honest I can't see why anyone would want to drive in Bangkok. I wouldn't do it if you paid me. Plenty of easier ways to get around.

[CharlieH]

off topic post removed

[ukguyinthai]

If I feel someone is being disrespectful I will tell them, Why not. This is asia they do understand manners,but some feel they don't have to use them.I don't care age or gender,I will tell them. I am not a doormat for anyone.

On the other hand I will always thank if someone shows consideration.

I don't agree with accepting bad manners as some have said here.Its because people accept it that they repeat the bad behaviour.

Or is it that commenters here don't have the balls to say anything.......In truth, as long as you don't growl like a soi dog and start shouting at the top of your voice.The offenders give you space, say sorry or nothing, and bow their heads. They know you are right.

[KhnomKhnom]

Time to pack up and leave.

BTW, if you break into the front of MY line, you are going to hear about it from me.

[shrimpythailand]

Crickets - man you better learn patience here - that is what living here teaches you ... either that or you are going to wind up in a "world of Hurt" ... damn man ... if the wife is the car with me - not allowed to honk the horn .. i do honk sometimes.. been driving here a lot in 14 years - and man let me tell you - it TEACHES you how to be patient if you want to not get in a fight with some crazy thai driver... better take some meditation classes or something...I live and work out in the north burbs - Rangsit - motocikes all driving the wrong way down big roads like Viphawadee out here - the last thing you want is to hit or be hit by some thai guy on a motocike or even driving his BMW down the curb lane the wrong way of traffic so he can get to the next road or whatever ....have had a few incidents with the local goofs in their car on the tollways doing the zig zag driving at 160+ kms - either rush hour or late at night... but man chill down or you will get hurt by someone if you cannot control your "impatience" is all i can say ...I must admit i drive to and from work on the tollway about 60kms total every day - but yes I do have to mix it up on some main raodss and man - you just never know what is going to come at you - was in a car with an Italian friend one day who is a real aggresive driver and it just turned me right off... you just don't need or do not want to do that here... you have to watch everybody every second while driving here.. downtown is one thing - out in the burbs maybe worse as way more motocikes driving the wrong way - cars as well the odd day... but hwen you piss off a thai you better watch out... american taxi passenger samuri'd on suk soi 52 over a 50bt cab fare.. dead... anyway - you have to Jai yen yen here OP 5 5 5

[Shaunduhpostman]

You can't do anything about the lack of consideration that people have for your space, time, life, etc., but tweak your diet, exercise, meditate and you'll be much less bothered and will be able to respond more appropriately if indeed there is any need to respond in any way other than to leave the situation where people are crowding and queueing.

I think cutting in line/queues is kind of a submission/dominance thing in American cities where I happen to have grown up. It is often a situation where if you are a badass and can beat anyone down in a line you cut in front of them. In Asia, especially Thailand, they really aren't thinking about it, getting somewhere or to the front of the line isn't that important to them, it can wait and they probably assume you think the same way. I don't think it really crosses their mind that they are annoying you by cutting in front, but it is not always cut and dried, and even some Thai people are going to feel bugged by people cutting and will protest about line cutters. But if you'll notice, you'll see a lot of people don't mind standing in line themselves, they are not filling their day up with better things to do, to generalize. They do not have any urgency about getting their business done asap, and even stand with a group of three people or more and it is almost like what little burden standing in line is is split between everyone. If you approach a kind of diffuse group standing near a cashier helping another person and ask if there is a line, there is a kind of confused reaction, who's waiting, are we waiting for something here, I'm with her I don't know what we are doing here exactly, why would anyone care to ask this question, I am so confused. Just cut in front of them, if they don't like it they will tell you.

Edited November 24, 2014 by Shaunduhpostman

[Doc46]

Well for me ,,if I get like that I say to myself Relax you are retired W<>T<>F take it easy , works for me !

[Centrum]

I come from a big city in australia and am generaly polite and understand how a line works. But if i acted like some of the people here i would punched in the face. Seems like there is a tension in the air as soon as people have to start waiting for something. The person with money in hand seems to get priority followed by the person who speaks up then the person who just looks angry while the person waiting quietly can just go to hell and this happens especially when ordering food. I think i am just looking for the right moment for someone to get me on a bad day for a good excuse to knock the day lights out of him.

Spoken like a true Aussie

[gyrosman]

I guess you never been to L.A. or India.

[ggt]

How long have you been in Thailand? Sounds as though the honeymoon period is over and you are seeing Thailand for the first time for what it really is...

Most of us have just taken the attitude that it does not matter if a few disrespectful Thais cut in line...all in a day of doing business in the Land of Lies...

Kick back and relax...smell the burning garbage and rice patties...

If this does not appeal to you try another country...Vietnam was a great experience for me...

[Acharn]

I think there is definitely a degree of tension here in Bangkok, as in any metropolitan area. You may just be getting swept up by that.

I don't find it particularly stressful living here, but I don't have conflicts with expecting things to work out a certain way, only to have them work out in a different way (or not work out at all). I guess I'm trying to say that my expectations are low, so not much disappointment!

Things are only stressful if you let them be, don't allow anyone to bully you, push in front of you in Tesco, or in their car if you leave a space in front of you. There's no better feeling than getting your own back on someone, but don't go looking for things to happen.

I can't speak to how things are now, but years ago when I used to drive a lot, including in Bangkok, I found Thai drivers to be no worse than drivers in Washington, D.C. Now, there's a town I hated driving in. I found many Thai drivers to be both courteous and generous, letting me into a lane or giving me a chance to pass. Everybody is better off if you let the next guy into the lane in front of you.

I've never found that if I let other people get in front of me they've gotten the last item that I needed. I don't care if they think they've gotten something over on me -- that's their problem, not mine.

[crickets]

Im only in my 30s and am in bangkok for work. Too many people here and not enough space and i think most people dont know any better. Will go back to my quiet little spot in thailand with my beautiful wife soon.

[Aussieroaming]

That pushing in front crap infuriates me you, but it's not just here. Try a bunch of Africans ...words can't describe how some of them have wound me up over the years.

Breath in....breath out...breath in.... Breath out

[willyumiii]

Get out of town!

It's Bangkok Thailand.

Where did you imagine you were?

Again....

Get out of town.

You will never win.

[David48]

To be honest I can't see why anyone would want to drive in Bangkok. I wouldn't do it if you paid me. Plenty of easier ways to get around.

Well ...

'anyone' ... well, that would be me then.

Our personal circumstances are that it's the most practical way to get around.

We have 2 boys under 1, live in an adjoining Provence to Bangkok.

And a taxi is impossible to get to the Farm.

BTW ... I'm a huge fan of the BTS, I even own shares in it.

[ehw200]

SO become part of the problem not part of the solution

[fey]

have you noticed ever waiting in line. a shopkeeper will adress a thai coming up after you and fill their order. you wait, and they then get to you. happens all the time in bangkok.

it seems like just a natural response and they dont even realize it until you look at it closely.

i have even learned to accept it, but once in awhile it really seems nasty.

[jacko45k]

I doubt it.

But beware the driving rage.

Bangkok drivers are pretty bad, you can see the difference here in Pattaya.

[TheSpade]

Bangkok is a great place when you're not in a hurry and don't have to commute to work every day. Wouldn't like to work there at all. I think it'd go from being one of my favorite cities in the world to one of the worst.

[Jasun]

"Do thais think they r losing something if they dont take that minor opportunity to get in front."

Yep, they probably do. Singaporeans have a word for it - 'Kiasu'. It translates as 'fear of losing' and is considered a leading motivator in Asian societies.

[geronimo]

Patience is a virtue that is hard to develop, however you are in the right country to do this if you choose to.

The ego, or the self is responsible for this and it is constantly being fed by the media and things / people around us. One must be aware of what it is and try to eradicate it. Only then will one be free of emotion.

[pomchop]

This is what city life is all about. You''ll never feel like that in smaller towns and the country.

One would think people living in small rural towns would never feel that but hate to say there seem to be quite a few even in little Chiang Rai that get all bent out of shape over the way the Thais drive, park in the middle of the road, turn in front of you, etc.

What they forget is that the Thais were driving like this before the farangs showed up and will likely be driving the same way after the last farang is gone. Whine all you want but frankly I don't think the average Thai person cares what we farangs may think.

You can get mad, mutter under your breath or learn to plan so as not be in such a big hurry that it ruins your day.

I moved from Bangkok to Chiang Rai partly because I was tired of all the congestion and hassles. Life definitely moves at a slower pace up here in Chiang Rai but even that slow pace will not be enough to please some people.

[ExpatJ]

I have a theory as to why farang men get grumpier and grumpier in Thailand the longer they stay here and the older they get. It's to do with the women and envy. Firstly they see all these stunning office ladies and after trying to chat them up get rejected constantly and finally give up and are forced to either pay for it one way or another. At the same time these farangs have a feeling of superiority via a vis Thailand-they complain about the inefficiency, the illogical Thai ways. And yet and yet... they look around and see the growing wealth of the Thais - the sports cars, the sky trains, the hotels, the sky train-all more abundant and modern than their run down towns and villages back home in UK- and it does not compute in their minds which causes further frustation.

[mrtoad]

I lived in Bangkok for 5 years, I have spent the last 5 outside of Bangkok working, the last 4 in Eastern Thailand. I still have a house in Bangkok, and trave l back once or twice a month, but 3 or 4 days is enough for me now, I just find it to fast and busy.

[SoiBiker]

Busy, I grant you - but fast?

This is a city where traffic has generally ground to a halt, and the average walking speed rivals that of an old granny with a walking frame. A city so slow that you either learn to match it's languid pace or go crazy trying to get past people.

[mrtoad]

Fast in terms of busy, lots of traffic, people, etc

I prefer the more serene places these days, my job is stressful enough, without all the other stressors

[mike324]

crickets ... it's you ... not them.

Bangkok is a sprawling metropolis ... a big city.

Personal body space decreases as population density increases.

You can read about Social distance here.

No disrespect but ALL the things you mention speaks volumes about the fact that you haven't developed the tact or adopted social norms.

In relative terms, Bangkok is a lot less 'aggressive' then other Capital Cities around the world.

Try China ... now that's en eye opener ...

Coming from a Western country, you will definitely feel like why are people here like this and that. I do definitely feel the change when I return from a couple of years abroad as well.

But if you travel to any big / developed citiy such as in China, KL, Taipei, and even Seoul. You will actually find more honking and worse driving than Bangkok. People do line up more in most of the ones I listed, but they honk and are even more impatient. Countries such as China, Taiwan, and Korea drivers will yell and even swear at you for driving a certain way, driving too slow, or even if you try to squeeze in.

If you've been to big cities in US such as Chicago and New York its about the same.

Thailand is pretty tame compare to other big cities, people will not push you for walking too slow, honk or swear.

[MrWorldwide]

Bangkok grinds me down over a few days - no idea how some here can live in the guts of it and stay (relatively) sane. I'm always happy to return to the peace and tranquility of central Pattaya