Cosseted Farang Husbands and Their Thai Wives

[billd766]

I do most things for myself though I do rely on my wife to do the reading, writing and speaking in Thai for me because she is so good at it.

At 70, I am partly deaf and mostly tone deaf and though I can speak some Thai what I think I said is sometimes not what Thais hear.

I don't have any problems locally and generally farther afield I can survive too.

I still drive my pickup truck and ride a motorbike.

If there is something I need that my wife doesn't have the Thai words for I generally type it in English in MS Word, Go to Google translate and turn it into Thai then over to Google to get a photo. I put all 3 on the same page and mostly it works.

Why don't you simply buy a talking Thai English dictionary around 2000 baht.

It most probably won't describe technical parts specifically whereas I can download from the internet most of the information that I need including drawings and photos and I have found over the years a photo or a drawing can be worth up to 1,000 words, translated or not.

[NanLaew]

Ah Beetlejuice, you really like those little hassles do you? My wife does every bit of that and more for our family. She is a very intelligent and energetic lady, and she is capable of many things, including earning a degree with honors in an American university and having a successful career in government. I would rather wait for her at home or in a coffee shop or bar while she takes care of those little hassles in life; then take her out for dinner and music or a movie. I would rather ride my Harley and allow her to make the day to day decisions. I do so because I trust her; I taught her well. She is my wife and life partner. Sorry, if you can't trust yours to do the right thing--or do you really like standing in line in banks, doing the grocery shopping, playing with the utilities providers, dealing with landlords, hiring tradesmen, etc.

Actually, yes I do. Not because I do not trust my wife but I enjoy having some in-dependency and being in control of my own affairs, doing my share and in fact both my wife and I can deal with these matters, we can handle these separately or sometimes we go together. We have the choice and our marriage is an equal partnership, she is not my mother or my slave and I don`t have to stand there like a spare one at a wedding letting her do all the bidding for us, as I too can share in our responsibilities. So what`s wrong with that?

And there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with how you and your better half do stuff. It isn't even an issue that you have a personal opinion about these other, co-dependency relationships either.

It's your rudeness compounded by your inability to comprehend how offensive you are being.

[NanLaew]

Well after paying a very large sin sod I want to get value for money. No point having a dog and barking yourself.

Interesting point of view.....wonder what the OP thinks about it....

No need to give an opinion about Jaggg88 comments. What he has said speaks volumes for it`s self regarding how a lot of farang husbands consider their Thai wives, as no more than glorified house keepers and carers with benefits on the cheap. But eventually these husbands pay the price by becoming institutionalised into their situations and totally useless as thinking independent individuals in their own right.

This thread us up there with Costas's sage opinion on those who treat their wives as mere chatels. Then there's Crazy chef 1 and his ground-breaking quest for an opinion on age differences in partnerships. Don't forget mitsubishi and his bizarre dining experiences.

You guys really need a hobby!

Or maybe you can't articulate these huge social issues in any meaningful debate with your "cleverer than yours" partner so feel compelled to take it to the forum?

[rotary]

I could not agree more with the original poster. I have thought the same thing since the late 80s when I first came to Thailand. I guess it happens in all countries but seems to be worse in Thailand for some reason.

[benalibina]

Well after paying a very large sin sod I want to get value for money. No point having a dog and barking yourself.

Interesting point of view.....wonder what the OP thinks about it....

No need to give an opinion about Jaggg88 comments. What he has said speaks volumes for it`s self regarding how a lot of farang husbands consider their Thai wives, as no more than glorified house keepers and carers with benefits on the cheap. But eventually these husbands pay the price by becoming institutionalised into their situations and totally useless as thinking independent individuals in their own right.

This thread us up there with Costas's sage opinion on those who treat their wives as mere chatels. Then there's Crazy chef 1 and his ground-breaking quest for an opinion on age differences in partnerships. Don't forget mitsubishi and his bizarre dining experiences.

You guys really need a hobby!

Or maybe you can't articulate these huge social issues in any meaningful debate with your "cleverer than yours" partner so feel compelled to take it to the forum?

They tried but must have met the unbreakable wall ......that where this forum comes in....anonymus boasting !

[Langsuan Man]

I can understand why some let their wives / girlfriends manage the day to day things for them but what I cannot understand is why so many can only have friends that are the husbands of their wives friends

Had a friend who divorced his first Thai wife who I was friendly with since we worked together, but the new wife will not let him have anything to do with me because of that past association (and no I am not being paranoid since he told me this) So now he is now just an acquaintance

[Saan]

I, too have observed this phenomenom, not in Thailand but in Australia. But in Australia it was not the wives running the household but the children, or a child. It happened in the 1950s and 60s with the advent of Italian migrants to Australia and its cause was probably the same as here in Thailand. The family migrated to Australia with no English. The parents stayed in their own community not mixing with Australians. But the kids mixed with Australians at school and were soon competent in English. Hence they were differed to when the involved knowledge of English was needed. It actually became a recognised problem with young kids becoming little dictators in their family. It probably still happens with other migrant groups around the world. It is a default situation.

[Donnievino]

I stand convicted. But big deal. You live your life the way you want and I will live mine. I am in my seventies and my Thai wife is in her late forties. Only been here in Chiang Mai six months. Wife owns car, new house in Issan and a rice farm. I don't speak Thai and she speaks decent English. Most all of our friends are Thai many who speak English. She likes to cook for me and doesn't mind the other domestic chores. She drives and helps out when I need to communicate with non English speakers. She got loan to buy new house in Chiang Mai. She likes to take care of me in her way and I like taking care of her in my way. I am much more dependent that I would be in the States but it works for both of us.

[elgordo38]

It is trick, don't you see? The husband makes the wife feels important. The wife is happy, and the husband has a mother, a maid, a partner and so they live happily .

Thai women like to dote on their man. Its easy to fall into the trap. I think its her morning to shave me.

[beau thai]

I think we should all be extremely grateful to Mrs Beetlejuice for managing her man so well that he thinks he is a smart a*se doing all the little tasks that most of us get done for us.

If she didnt keep him so busy, he would have more time to post on TVisa about how much cleverer he is at living his life in Thailand than the rest of us.

But then where would we be without his sage advice - Lost in Thailand maybe.....

[SoiBiker]

It seems to start long before marriage. I think for some guys the main reason to come here is because they can get women to dote on them. I one saw an elderly farang sitting outside a Nana bar whilst one of the bar girls trimmed his ear hair.

[beau thai]

It seems to start long before marriage. I think for some guys the main reason to come here is because they can get women to dote on them. I one saw an elderly farang sitting outside a Nana bar whilst one of the bar girls trimmed his ear hair.

Sure she wasnt just blowing in his ear to wake him up?

[Mudcrab]

old ass people

Indeed.

They are truly the lucky ones.

Sadly many people do not grow to an old age, many have their lives cut short due to illness or accidents or other misfortunes.

Hopefully you will be able to enjoy a long life as well and have time to reflect on the foolishness of some statements you made when younger.

[BritManToo]

It seems to start long before marriage. I think for some guys the main reason to come here is because they can get women to dote on them. I one saw an elderly farang sitting outside a Nana bar whilst one of the bar girls trimmed his ear hair.

Not having had a Thai woman, you won't have encountered their obsession with helping others with their personal grooming.

In the bars you can often see them picking nits out of each others hair.

When you take them home they want to pluck your nasal hairs, ear hairs, squeeze your zits, trim your finger and toe nails and clean your toilet, this happens with even short time rentals.

If you let them, they will also help you shower and wipe your bum.

Quite astounding really!

Edited December 7, 2014 by BritManToo

[SoiBiker]

Sounds revolting. But each to their own, I guess.

[WhamBam]

It seems to start long before marriage. I think for some guys the main reason to come here is because they can get women to dote on them. I one saw an elderly farang sitting outside a Nana bar whilst one of the bar girls trimmed his ear hair.

Not having had a Thai woman, you won't have encountered their obsession with helping others with their personal grooming.

In the bars you can often see them picking nits out of each others hair.

When you take them home they want to pluck your nasal hairs, ear hairs, squeeze your zits, trim your finger and toe nails and clean your toilet, this happens with even short time rentals.

If you let them, they will also help you shower and wipe your bum.

Quite astounding really!

Very true, Brit.

I used to get into trouble for cutting my own nails.

I got to like them doing the personal grooming. It felt quite intimate in a way.

The helping me shower..... now that is something else entirely

[David48]

Personal Soapy.

That can't be bad ... can it?

[Thai at Heart]

I do hope you aren't saying, I learned Thai, so everyone else should?

Personally, since my Thai is near non-existent, and doesn't seem to be improving, my Mrs is glad to take care of a lot of the administrative type of issues, renewing car tax, lost mail etc. I do my visa stuff myself. I do see the type you mention, who let the Mrs do everything, like getting them money from the ATM.

Learning the language if you live, work/retire in any foreign country is not an option, it is a MUST! Not learning the language of your host country is the first and most annoying display of superficiality and ignorance to any host. I have heard so many excuses why foreigners here are unable to manage learning Thai, that it makes me sick to my stomach. In my opinion, it would be great if basic command of spoken Thai would be a visa requirement for any Thailand visa other than tourist. There you have it!

So many expats in Thailand whine in forums about not being respected - if you want respect, you have to earn it, and the forst step to do that would be to learn the language of the country you chose as a home.

Some of the happiest people I know don't speak a word of Thai. Thry have lovely lives, and live in glorious ignorant bliss of the day to day nonsense in Thailand . Edited December 7, 2014 by Thai at Heart

[AlexRRR]

Amazing lack of forsight by sooooooooo many....ive had a couple of TGF who were so quite and submissive it was boreing....but the last one was a manipulator and a controler but gee she was good fun.

That last one who wanted to get married etc would have jumped right into the drivers seat if we had, i wouldnt say we clashed but she was always testing me, pushing me, if i was another type she would have taken over my life.

I think its the world over....there are quite and submissive guys who will just quitely hand over the responsibilities to a pushy controling type, though not all women who find themselves in that situation are controling they just have to do it, having said that the two previous girls where no slouches once you got there motor running, very compertent in getting things organized and moving.

[NanLaew]

It seems to start long before marriage. I think for some guys the main reason to come here is because they can get women to dote on them. I one saw an elderly farang sitting outside a Nana bar whilst one of the bar girls trimmed his ear hair.

Tell me about it! I couldn't get her to stop.

[ZAKY]

The best way is not to put all eggs in one basket ! Always have a 'B' plan i your head ; follow what Thai men do : learn how to say 'No' on certain things !

[shaggy851]

I know a few types that are completely defenceless and wouldn't venture outside without their wives/girlfriends. Completely incapable of being Independent in any way. No way one guy could order a taxi and go somewhere. No knowledge of thai language not very interested in culture either it's just 'yep found one now let's get her back to Aust'. I can't talk to they guy anymore it's just 'insert name' this and insert name that blah blah.

The guy is so blind with love he can't see two feet in front of him.

Quiet type not a lot of male friends, was married most of his life, doesn't know what to do with himself. Her girlfriends find the guy boring and shy. She is certain he's mental and hacked her emails checks her phone ect just crazy controlling behaviour. She told me she would leave him if he wasn't such a good provider.

Being a good mate I told him to run a mile, and I'm sure she has another guy who mysteriously pays for her schooling. He's a rich thai guy.

Told him what that was all about, wouldn't listen.

He put 1mil thb in her account when he was getting divorced,

She bought a bunch of gold with it and dwindled it down to 500k within a week.

Lost the rest on business ventures clothes stalls etc.

but good news they're getting married. At least he has someone to tie his shoe laces and hold his hand when he ventures out into the big bad world.