why do so many farangs marry ?

[brewsterbudgen]

I don't get it either - unless you want kids. All I have ever wanted to do is screw around as much as possible, with as many different beautiful women as possible, and not feel guilty about it. I have discovered that it does not work without money, but being married does not either.

you mean prostitutes. you sound like a 101 sociopath. i doubt very much that the woman you 'screw' find you at all attractive. maybe even repulsive. however your sociopathy will desensitize you to this.

PS the main trait of a socipath is lack of empathy/guilt. so your life style is well suited to your disposition

Who are you to judge him? Although many girls in Thailand are not prostitutes in case you are unaware, those that are, base their choice of clientele on a lot more than their attractiveness. Such superficiality and rudeness for Christmas morning!

i am me and free to judge any that i please. most girls in thailand are not prostititues so you are correct there. but i never stated that - did i? if you find my stating facts rude - well i care not. the fact that you think a person who openly states that all he has ever wanted is to screw around as much as possible as accceptable and moral behavior, yet invoke christmas morning as some kind of rebucke is simply too odd to contemplate

good christian are you or simply superficially rightious when convenient

I'm not a Christian but I don't care for judgmental generalisations.

[thaibeachlovers]

I don't get it either - unless you want kids. All I have ever wanted to do is screw around as much as possible, with as many different beautiful women as possible, and not feel guilty about it. I have discovered that it does not work without money, but being married does not either.

you mean prostitutes. you sound like a 101 sociopath. i doubt very much that the woman you 'screw' find you at all attractive. maybe even repulsive. however your sociopathy will desensitize you to this.

PS the main trait of a socipath is lack of empathy/guilt. so your life style is well suited to your disposition

Actually he is totally telling it like it is, I've a lot of time for Uly, even if we don't see eye to eye on everything.

Without either money, dominance or charm you are nothing to a woman, Asian or European. The Asian women put the preference on money first and foremost.

For marriage if you have a steady pension coming in you are gold-plated as far as these women are concerned, purely because of the never-never income they get each month.

Some may be diamonds but they are one in a hundred-thousand typically.

You owe it to your family back home not to waste your heritage.

You owe it to your family back home not to waste your heritage.

What a load of old cobblers!

Providing you have brought up your children to the best of your ability, once they are able to leave home you owe them nothing, and I hope you are not including ex wives in that.

When was the last time you saw an animal caring for it's grown up offspring?

Once the kids have moved on, your money is your own, to be used for YOUR ( and your new wife's ) benefit. If you die before you manage to spend it all, then OK, leave it to your significant other/s.

[thaibeachlovers]

I don't get it either - unless you want kids. All I have ever wanted to do is screw around as much as possible, with as many different beautiful women as possible, and not feel guilty about it. I have discovered that it does not work without money, but being married does not either.

you mean prostitutes. you sound like a 101 sociopath. i doubt very much that the woman you 'screw' find you at all attractive. maybe even repulsive. however your sociopathy will desensitize you to this.

PS the main trait of a socipath is lack of empathy/guilt. so your life style is well suited to your disposition

Who are you to judge him? Although many girls in Thailand are not prostitutes in case you are unaware, those that are, base their choice of clientele on a lot more than their attractiveness. Such superficiality and rudeness for Christmas morning!

Putting it another way, how many are not prostitutes?

Some of the younger farang idiots may land the occasional uni. student, but most are from the prostitute scene. This is part of the reason immigration makes it very difficult for permanent residency.

how many are not prostitutes?

The vast majority. Strange ideas you have about women!

[Robby nz]

Because they have been conned into believing marriage is the done, conventional, thing and to live with a woman out of wedlock is sinful.

Religion has a big part in this as do mothers who after all are female and marriage is something that gives a woman a legal hold over a man.

As in; he's mine now, hands off.

Men are suckers for this as they have mostly been brought up to expect to meet the perfect girl (for them) fall in love, marry and live happily ever after.

Woman take advantage of this, particularly the love bit where a man is besotted with their charms and other bodily parts and easily falls for the marry me darling.........

Works for some but ends in tears for others.

nobody conned anybody pal. sounds like you chose a bad one.

Nope, didn't choose any, never been married and never will be, I worked out the con at an early age.

[cooked]

I had just enough to qualify for a spouse extension when I came here, meaning I had nothing to lose. I married a marriage broker that tells me a lot of stories. The last guy we wanted to help was 30 years older than the object of his deluded affections, he laughed at me when I tried to warn him. She threw him out after one night. We don't do that any more, I felt like a pimp. 'marry in haste , repent at leisure'.

After three years I still cannot believe my luck.

My advice: everybody should have a second wife before moving on to being happily married.

sent from phone using bih thumbs

[tom21]

interesting thread but my view is that unless you have or want children why bother and if you want to run a bar or something getting married is going to the extreme. if you do not have any money you are not going to loose it by getting married.

[jonesthebaker]

so why invoke christmas morning as a reason to find my 'judgement' as particularly distastefull. if you care to do a minutes research you will find what i stated as bieng conventional wisdom i.e. people who 'screw around as much as possible without any feelings of guilt' are sociopathic. if you find that fact uncomfortable then that is an issue for you to address. but it is a fact.

[brewsterbudgen]

so why invoke christmas morning as a reason to find my 'judgement' as particularly distastefull. if you care to do a minutes research you will find what i stated as bieng conventional wisdom i.e. people who 'screw around as much as possible without any feelings of guilt' are sociopathic. if you find that fact uncomfortable then that is an issue for you to address. but it is a fact.

It wouldn't be much of a Forum if we all agreed with each other. Not everyone thinks sleeping around, especially for single people, is "sociopathic". Merry Christmas.

[i claudius]

GOD I seem to be an exception to some of the posters on here who either have been ripped off or all their friends have and are in unhappy marriages,all my friends are happy ,been married years and have not been ripped off,I run with the wrong crowd,555

[kannot]

Op you might not like this but my wife earns + 200k a month, she makes sure i always have at least 1 million in my bank to do with as I want and also another 400k in another account for the extension of stay.

I know youve probably died of shock now but it does happen.

I have never paid her Im retired shes 38 Im 51 I have no pension yet. been married 8 years

I know.............your probably on the floor now with a nasty bump on your head.

What I did do was buy 4 condos to rent out when we first met, she took the ball an ran with it, building a business for herself, all condos now sold and the money in my account.

She continues in real estate, Im a kept man!!

Even more incredible for you, she has NO parents.

She aint got white skin and wasnt educated overseas, shes Issan.

Edited December 25, 2014 by kannot

[kannot]

The getting married part should be obvious, but like you, I find this need to reproduce when one is old a very strange thing indeed. Perhaps they do it because the wife insists ( securing her ATM ), and they won't stand up for themselves.

OK Ill take this, Im 51 Wifes 38 we want children BUT when I first came here (42 yrs old her 29) I was not financially secure enough at that time and neither was she we both agreed to wait until we were in a better position.

All her friends were saying "when are you having a baby" like it was compulsory and forget the financial aspect which for both of us was stupidity personified.

Now we are ready.

Id never been married before and neither has she, she is the only one in her family who is careful and saves money even though her salary when we met was 12k a month she had tucked away a fair bit over the years.

So yes its late and it will be hard physically for me , i will bring the kid up Wife continues to work.

[mjnaus]

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!

The award for the dumbest thread of 2014 goes to.....

[overit]

Apart from some Thai Visa posters who seem either immune to such things nearly ALL the farang I've known married to Thai women have ended up either dead, divorced or abandoned. Sometimes with the kids dumped on him!

The remaining one farang is in an unhappy marriage with his wife denying him any comfort in the bedroom (I've even heard he has to sleep on the floor)!!!

Thank my lucky stars I didn't fall for their BS and claptrap.

Names??

[overit]

Hey OP..

Your statement, "I JUST DON'T GET IT!!!!!!"

You are just a slow learner........

[sipi]

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!

The award for the dumbest thread of 2014 goes to.....

This boring thread has been done a hundred boring times. Always with the same boring result.

[seajae]

obviously based the op on what has been read in here with all the bar girl marriages, you really need to get out in the real world and not that of the miserable old buggers that marry trophy wives. Many of us actually marry for love and in my case my wife earns more than me, just because you are unable to find the right woman or they refuse to have anything to do with you. After all you have assumed your opinion so we can now do the same about you, the only ones that dont marry are those with ugly women or those that are unable to attract anything other than bar girls/prostitutes/lady boys, just because you are pathetic with women doesnt mean you can generalize about everyone else. Dont worry, I am sure you will find the perfect one next time you are falling off your barstool drunk as a maggot telling all the girlies how great you are

ps. merry christmas

Edited December 25, 2014 by seajae

[pigeonjake]

we chose to get married because that is what we both wanted, we chose to have children because that is what we both wanted,

as for giving my wife money, our pig farm takes care of that,

as for building a house yes me, 20k english grandma gave us the land,

so if it all went tits up tomorow and i had to leave, it would of cost me say 25k english for 8 just about 9 great years of happiness a small price in my eyes,

beautiful sex with the lady i love, anytime i want it,

not going round bars having slopy 2nds 3rds shall i keep counting,,

you carry on going from girl to girl,, if it makes you feel good and make you feel like a stud,,,,gods gift to women and all that,,lol

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I think marriage works well as a business deal.

You both know what you are getting and what you want out of it.

If you want sex and children and she wants a house and wage, that isn't a bad deal IMHO.

This is the way marriage in most of the world has always been done.

The west is currently deviating from the straight business deal, but they are in the minority.

[spidermike007]

Any silly fool like catman who thinks marriage is not based on money, is living a life of lies and deceptions. Every woman in the west and the east both, is looking for financial security. Nearly all women worldwide are looking for financial security. And there is nothing wrong with that. What is wrong, is when a man tries to deny this reality. That is wrong. The arrangement may be a little different here. Generally, a man who gets married here does not have to give up financial control of his entire world when he gets married here. He does not have to add his wife's name to his every asset, he does not have to disclose his every asset to her. If he gives her a monthly allowance, how is that different from him adding her to the checking account in the west? Explain that one to me please. Of course we want our wives to be comfortable. If she is not working she needs money to eat, to buy clothing, to live, and to enjoy her life. If we give her an allowance, how is that not something you can understand?

It is time for guys like you to man up, and accept the way the world works. Western women have a lot of western men hypnotized into thinking the way the system works back there is the only valid and acceptable way of life. That is how many women want it to work. Some of us choose alternative lifestyles and systems that seem far more equitable to us.

[Cypress Hill]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Marriage is just a formal name for a relationship. And you're gonna pay either way. You think you can get a relationship that's not based on money? I doubt it. No money means no honey.

Suppose that's true for a certain kind of man.

Any silly fool like catman who thinks marriage is not based on money, is living a life of lies and deceptions. Every woman in the west and the east both, is looking for financial security. Nearly all women worldwide are looking for financial security. And there is nothing wrong with that. What is wrong, is when a man tries to deny this reality. That is wrong. The arrangement may be a little different here. Generally, a man who gets married here does not have to give up financial control of his entire world when he gets married here. He does not have to add his wife's name to his every asset, he does not have to disclose his every asset to her. If he gives her a monthly allowance, how is that different from him adding her to the checking account in the west? Explain that one to me please. Of course we want our wives to be comfortable. If she is not working she needs money to eat, to buy clothing, to live, and to enjoy her life. If we give her an allowance, how is that not something you can understand?

It is time for guys like you to man up, and accept the way the world works. Western women have a lot of western men hypnotized into thinking the way the system works back there is the only valid and acceptable way of life. That is how many women want it to work. Some of us choose alternative lifestyles and systems that seem far more equitable to us.

Well you're speaking form the point of view of someone who's probably always gone for dependent women.

In countries like Thailand that's more or less unavoidable, particularly within the relatively small demographic willing to contemplate hooking up with a farang, but in the West, most men have a choice.

In the West, a lot of women work, make their own coin and, often, have no real need for their partners' money. I KNOW this - I dated more of them than I can count. Some of those women are married now, with kids and STILL working their careers. That kind of woman would probably have been of no interest to a man like you. Too independent, too headstrong, too idealistic too . . . . modern but some of us aren't intimidated or emasculated by women like that. Personally, I have a lot of respect and time for them.

Paying a monthly allowance is COMPLETELY different from adding a woman to your checking account unless you've gone for a dependent woman without a means of income.

[Ulysses G.]

I don't get it either - unless you want kids. All I have ever wanted to do is screw around as much as possible, with as many different beautiful women as possible, and not feel guilty about it. I have discovered that it does not work without money, but being married does not either.

you mean prostitutes. you sound like a 101 sociopath.

You sound like a puritanical prude and a delusional one. What business is it of yours what two consenting adults get up to and what do I care about your nutty religious beliefs? I remain single, so that I can do what I want without hurting anyone else. That is the kind of morality that makes sense to me.

Edited December 25, 2014 by Ulysses G.

[NoshowJones]

Group1 -They are wasted and old farang desperate to stay in Thailand. So they shack up with some old crone for the marriage visa so they can run a bar easier etc. Even that doesn't give you any citizenship and could end up being changed. Yet they steam ahead anyway with the house and 'land' they think they own. Go figure. I don't think many last, but TV would have you believe otherwise.

Group 2 - Another is they seem to think they are 'superior' farang with their trendy post-modern thinking putting them ahead of the curve. Some liken the effect that China is going to be the new superpower and they should ingratiate themselves to Asians with kids etc. This is often the younger farang, often British usually.

Now it used to be they wouldn't actually be stupid enough to knock up the local birds with kids. That was very unusual back in the 1990s and even the early 2000s. Yet nowadays with the liberal brainwashing and cultural marxism in full-swing more have fallen for this.

Apart from some Thai Visa posters who seem either immune to such things nearly ALL the farang I've known married to Thai women have ended up either dead, divorced or abandoned. Sometimes with the kids dumped on him!

The remaining one farang is in an unhappy marriage with his wife denying him any comfort in the bedroom (I've even heard he has to sleep on the floor)!!!

Thank my lucky stars I didn't fall for their BS and claptrap.

amazing how so many of your friends and aquaintances are losers. kinda makes me wonder

Not all, some were losers yes, they'd come here to try and get out of the loser-zone. Others were noble and decent types who became corrupted and twisted by playing 'lets pretend its fairytales and families'. Well when they cast the pearls before the swine they didn't realize they were putting stone into sand. After a few years it all goes slanted and pearshaped. The folks back in the day had the right idea; either keep your trousers on, or keep your trousers 'quiet'.

What you did not do was pretend you could copy the western ideal of marriage and transplant it to an Asian one. So many end up derelict, jailed or just destroyed because of their mental-delusion to maintaining an unsustainable dream etc.

Ok I've encountered thousands of farangs and only one has had a lasting marriage, even that isn't happy. His missus is a lady of leisure who utterly shuts him out of things, especially the marital bedroom so to speak. He isn't some loser either, she was from a merchant-background and not Isaan or a bargirl. His kids he dotes upon (not his missus who doesn't relate to them). His kids themselves suffer from cultural disconnect - they don't know what their identity is. That's another little gem many farang don't realize they are getting when they have kids. And he is one of the luckier ones!

Most of them do not even come on Thai Visa, if they did they might get a chance to step back. This is another reason the posters on here with their muddled half-half kids are the exception (if at all) than the rule. I know this isn't nice to read at Christmas, but we're in Asia, not Europe or the USA so some tough love is needed.

Nearly all my friends are married to ex bargirls. there have been two split ups which were from what I could see, the guys fault, and all the other wives seem to look after them very well.

[rayongchelsea]

Because they came here with the main purpose of marrying someone.

[mitsubishi]

Group1 -They are wasted and old farang desperate to stay in Thailand. So they shack up with some old crone for the marriage visa so they can run a bar easier etc. Even that doesn't give you any citizenship and could end up being changed. Yet they steam ahead anyway with the house and 'land' they think they own. Go figure. I don't think many last, but TV would have you believe otherwise.

Group 2 - Another is they seem to think they are 'superior' farang with their trendy post-modern thinking putting them ahead of the curve. Some liken the effect that China is going to be the new superpower and they should ingratiate themselves to Asians with kids etc. This is often the younger farang, often British usually.

Now it used to be they wouldn't actually be stupid enough to knock up the local birds with kids. That was very unusual back in the 1990s and even the early 2000s. Yet nowadays with the liberal brainwashing and cultural marxism in full-swing more have fallen for this.

Apart from some Thai Visa posters who seem either immune to such things nearly ALL the farang I've known married to Thai women have ended up either dead, divorced or abandoned. Sometimes with the kids dumped on him!

The remaining one farang is in an unhappy marriage with his wife denying him any comfort in the bedroom (I've even heard he has to sleep on the floor)!!!

Thank my lucky stars I didn't fall for their BS and claptrap.

amazing how so many of your friends and aquaintances are losers. kinda makes me wonder

Not all, some were losers yes, they'd come here to try and get out of the loser-zone. Others were noble and decent types who became corrupted and twisted by playing 'lets pretend its fairytales and families'. Well when they cast the pearls before the swine they didn't realize they were putting stone into sand. After a few years it all goes slanted and pearshaped. The folks back in the day had the right idea; either keep your trousers on, or keep your trousers 'quiet'.

What you did not do was pretend you could copy the western ideal of marriage and transplant it to an Asian one. So many end up derelict, jailed or just destroyed because of their mental-delusion to maintaining an unsustainable dream etc.

Ok I've encountered thousands of farangs and only one has had a lasting marriage, even that isn't happy. His missus is a lady of leisure who utterly shuts him out of things, especially the marital bedroom so to speak. He isn't some loser either, she was from a merchant-background and not Isaan or a bargirl. His kids he dotes upon (not his missus who doesn't relate to them). His kids themselves suffer from cultural disconnect - they don't know what their identity is. That's another little gem many farang don't realize they are getting when they have kids. And he is one of the luckier ones!

Most of them do not even come on Thai Visa, if they did they might get a chance to step back. This is another reason the posters on here with their muddled half-half kids are the exception (if at all) than the rule. I know this isn't nice to read at Christmas, but we're in Asia, not Europe or the USA so some tough love is needed.

Nearly all my friends are married to ex bargirls. there have been two split ups which were from what I could see, the guys fault, and all the other wives seem to look after them very well.

'Seem' being the operative word. Just give it a few years (I know I did) then you'll see the cracks appear. Money does wonders to grease the wheels, but often even that can't fix fail in the end.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Sometimes with the kids dumped on him!

More than happy to have the kids.

Mine or not.

[TheFishman1]

After reading all this lmao

[catman20]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

why arent you married now?

I woke up and smelled the coffee, I was also young when I got married and was not told about the pit falls of married life

[catman20]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Because they have been conned into believing marriage is the done, conventional, thing and to live with a woman out of wedlock is sinful.

Religion has a big part in this as do mothers who after all are female and marriage is something that gives a woman a legal hold over a man.

As in; he's mine now, hands off.

Men are suckers for this as they have mostly been brought up to expect to meet the perfect girl (for them) fall in love, marry and live happily ever after.

Woman take advantage of this, particularly the love bit where a man is besotted with their charms and other bodily parts and easily falls for the marry me darling.........

Works for some but ends in tears for others.

nobody conned anybody pal. sounds like you chose a bad one.

sounds to me like your one was different ........................hope we don't read a different post from you in a few years time

[NoshowJones]

Mitsubishi, your last sentence is spot on, though I have known most of my mates for the last six years.

[catman20]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Age comes into it, if you are young why get married,

I have chosen, yes chosen to marry a few times, no women you are in a relationship with, is less a person than the one you chose to marry and then divorce, are you saying western women are worth committing to, but Asian women are not.

I am happy and content in the marriage I am in now, be it my wife is better, easier, or more understanding than my previous wives, or is it i reached the age when i married this time, where i was mature enough, or stable enough or just at the stage in my life where i was ready. Who wants to spend old age alone, or changing women along with the bed sheets.

How can anyone say I married once that's enough for me never again, what would have happened if the wright brothers gave up after the first crash, or Alexander Graham Bell gave up after the first telephone call wasn't connected

there's my point I've been married a few times I wonder how much emotional and financial pain that has caused you