Failed expats and the lies they tell others and themselves as to why ...

[Alwyn]

Some you win, some you lose. Who gives shyt what anybody else thinks? If your friends are thinking you failed, bin them, you they're not friends. Everything in excess! You might not be here tomorrow....

[CharlieH]

insulting post removed.

[kieran2698]

I'd like to know what the OP refers to as 'expat failure'.

What is his/her definition of 'failure' ?

I own a crappy old car, had two sprogs with a Thai woman who I haven't married, I live more of my time in Thailand then I do the West, so fair enough to be classed as an expat ... so ... did I 'fail'?

.

I think you are definitely not an expat if you live a large chunk of time in your home country every year.

The roots that real expats have cut, you clearly have NOT cut them.

But you're free to think whatever you like.

I would class thinking you're an expat when you are objectively not an expat as a lie that you tell yourself (and here others).

Not suggesting it is superior or inferior to be an expat or not ... that's your choice how you wanna live residence-wise, just keeping it real.

I pretty much already provided a definition of expat failure ... having clear intentions on foreign residency and backing off from them when faced with reality.

People can go overboard here and try to hijack this thread into being only about the use of the word failure.

That was not my intention in starting the thread, so if that does happen, I would say that's a sign of a failed thread attempt (with a little help from my "friends").

Cheers, dude.

And you have formed your own definition of expat. I think you are definitely not an expat if you have cut off all your roots, as then you become an immigrant. Expats do not intend to stay whereas immigrants do. To me, your post is about failed immigrants and you are confusing the numbers due to the large amount of expats amongst them.

I must disagree - unless you can show me a long-term Visa or Extension for Thailand that the category does not start with " Non-Immigrant ..."

We are never Immigrants here - just Aliens.

You can apply for permanent residency ofter 3 years of non immigrant visa extensions and then after 10 years of permanent residency extensions you can apply for naturalization. To me, expats are the ones who come to work for a time before usually moving on wheres the retirees and those looking to start a new life in Thailand are immigrants, regardless of what visa they are using to achieve this.

Edited December 30, 2014 by kieran2698

[chrisinth]

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I failed in my own country but am successful in Thailand.

I like this comment.

People have a chance to reinvent themselves when they expatriate.

Probably much more so when a westerner moves to the "exotic" east as here in Thailand.

It's an opportunity but also a risk.

I would agree with the above JT, moving to any country is a risk. People try, don't like it after the honeymoon period and go home, happens all the time.

What i don't understand is why someone would be ashamed about this to have to lie to their friends & family?

If their friends can't accept this, to the point of having to lie to them, are they really friends?

Personally (to the best of my knowledge) i don't know anyone like that. Not saying it doesn't happen, just that i don't know them.

I hope...................

[i claudius]

I spent a lot of time in Thailand ,liked it ,eventually married and we lived in the west ,when i decided to retire i thought it would be nice if we lived here in Thailand ,9 years later i still like it ,but our life here is very similar to that in the west , just another happy married couple .

[bob009]

It comes down to, are you happy in Thailand and can afford to be here. If you try to live it up every night and spend spend. Saving and pensions will not go far. Living away from the nightlife and going out occasionally is no different from what you would do in your home country if you were on a fixed income.
Failure in any country, dose it matter, The only difference is in your home country you may be able to get a job to help recover from financial problems. No so in Thailand.

[mikebike]

...the only reason to live in Issan is you can't afford to live anywhere else.

You're just full of gems aren't you? Can't yet grasp the fact that some peeps like it in Issan? Each province is like one of Thailand's 77 flavours, something for everyone!!

Of course they like Issan, they like it because it's the poorest place in Thailand and lets them eke out their teachers wages/abysmal pensions just that bit farther.

You may be surprised to find that some lives don't revolve around finances and stereotypes. There's a more-than-a-few oil-patchers, ex-military, retirees, and others up in Issan with more than enough dosh to live where they want - and the wanted Issan. Why the harsh-out on Issan?

[Soutpeel]

I'd like to know what the OP refers to as 'expat failure'.

What is his/her definition of 'failure' ?

I own a crappy old car, had two sprogs with a Thai woman who I haven't married, I live more of my time in Thailand then I do the West, so fair enough to be classed as an expat ... so ... did I 'fail'?

.

I think you are definitely not an expat if you live a large chunk of time in your home country every year.

The roots that real expats have cut, you clearly have NOT cut them.

But you're free to think whatever you like.

I would class thinking you're an expat when you are objectively not an expat as a lie that you tell yourself (and here others).

Not suggesting it is superior or inferior to be an expat or not ... that's your choice how you wanna live residence-wise, just keeping it real.

I pretty much already provided a definition of expat failure ... having clear intentions on foreign residency and backing off from them when faced with reality.

People can go overboard here and try to hijack this thread into being only about the use of the word failure.

That was not my intention in starting the thread, so if that does happen, I would say that's a sign of a failed thread attempt (with a little help from my "friends").

Cheers, dude.

And you have formed your own definition of expat. I think you are definitely not an expat if you have cut off all your roots, as then you become an immigrant. Expats do not intend to stay whereas immigrants do. To me, your post is about failed immigrants and you are confusing the numbers due to the large amount of expats amongst them.

I must disagree - unless you can show me a long-term Visa or Extension for Thailand that the category does not start with " Non-Immigrant ..."

We are never Immigrants here - just Aliens.

You can apply for permanent residency ofter 3 years of non immigrant visa extensions and then after 10 years of permanent residency extensions you can apply for naturalization. To me, expats are the ones who come to work for a time before usually moving on wheres the retirees and those looking to start a new life in Thailand are immigrants, regardless of what visa they are using to achieve this.

I stand to be corrected but a retiree in Thailand will never qualify for PR as you need to be working and paying tax in thailand for 3 years on a non-imm visa

Fact is unless you have PR in Thailand you are not an immigrant

Edited December 30, 2014 by Soutpeel

[SoiBiker]

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I think some expats set themselves up to fail by kidding themselves they're moving to paradise, rather than a real place with its own issues and difficulties.

I think it is the other way round. Some ex-pats believe they are moving to paradise, and then realise they have moved to a real place with its own issues and difficulties...........................

That's exactly the point I was making.

[Pattaya Lous]

Thank you for this post, you are expressing a tru opinion soothing that many others cannot do

[Pattaya Lous]

I am trying to reply to individual posts but that option seems to be blocked, I wonder why?, in a word or two i understand what you are saying,expats do not want to admit defeat, but reality is LOS is all about money, if you have it (enough to support your lifestyle) STAY! if you don't then I am afraid this is not the place for you!

[Pattaya Lous]

Soutpeel, you discribe your Two children as sprogs, I think this says it all about failed ex-pats

Sorry I am only replying in open forum because QUOTES has been blocked my end

[JOC]

The irony is, when the failures return home, they become experts on anything Thai!!

[transam]

The irony is, when the failures return home, they become experts on anything Thai!!

Weeeeeeeeeeell, it don't take long to learn the Thai basics that one has PAID for, mon ami........

[gandalf12]

Being an expat, and I have been one for nearly 40 years and wouldn't change a moment of it, is very difficult. I think many so called "expats" come on holiday and think "I would like to live here" then pack up and move across.

Visiting a place in the same difference as comparing black and white when it comes to living in a country. Just look at the number of people who go to work overseas and run back home because they cant take it.

To be a true expat you have to be a breed apart from the tourist. Most people are not and hence they fail the expat life

Edited December 30, 2014 by gandalf12

[SoiBiker]

A 'true expat'?

Either you're an expat or you're not. I don't get why some feel the need to congratulate themselves on somehow being a better kind of expat.

[benalibina]

The irony is, when the failures return home, they become experts on anything Thai!!

Weeeeeeeeeeell, it don't take long to learn the Thai basics that one has PAID for, mon ami........

It is how one deals with it.

[Ulysses G.]

Visiting a place in the same difference as comparing black and white when it comes to living in a country. Just look at the number of people who go to work overseas and run back home because they cant take it.

I used to love traveling in Vietnam. I moved there in 1998 and within a few weeks, I knew that I had made a big mistake. All I wanted to do was go back to Thailand and after I finished my contract, I did.

[gandalf12]

A 'true expat'?

Either you're an expat or you're not. I don't get why some feel the need to congratulate themselves on somehow being a better kind of expat.

Unfortunately, a lot of people call themselves an expat f they have lived overseas for a few months. To many people, my self included, these are longer term visitors not committed expats. My definition of an Expat is someone considers his or her home in a country that they were not born in. Sorry if you disagree but it is just my opinion

[Blindside]

Big difference between having a fantastic holiday for a few weeks and living here full time.

I think when it is time to go it is time to go. In that context then there would not be failure. Part of the trick is not to worry about others' ideas of failure. Whether it is here or home.

I do understand your point though OP. I think lots come and go. Hard to tell though, we have a natural tendency to sugar coat things - just look at people's Facebook pages!

[ScotBkk]

I'd like to know what the OP refers to as 'expat failure'.

What is his/her definition of 'failure' ?

Define failed expat JT.

Everyone is waiting for your answer ...

.

He just DEFINED IT PERFECT - Define failed expat JT. ..........

[Jingthing]

I'd like to know what the OP refers to as 'expat failure'.

What is his/her definition of 'failure' ?

Define failed expat JT.

Everyone is waiting for your answer ...

.

He just DEFINED IT PERFECT - Define failed expat JT. ..........

That's actually pretty funny ... but a good example of where PUNCTUATION (or lack thereof) really matters.

[HerbalEd]

I run my own business and wouldn't live in Thailand again if you paid me a million dollars a week. My favourite Thailand memory was having a bloke, smartly dressed in a suit and tie, begging me to buy his drinks in a bar because he'd run out of money... I also enjoy watching farangs live in shop doorways in Bangkok and under bridges. That's clearly got success written all over it.

Unless you're actually working (and teaching English does not count as "working") the only reason to live in Issan is you can't afford to live anywhere else.

You paint a very narrow picture of Thailand. Expat life here can be much broader and fulfilling that that. Obviously it's not the life for most ... you included, evidently ... and that's fine. No shame in that. But as for me, I love it.

But that said, in my 70 years of life I have reinvented myself a few times, and I may well do so again. I don't foresee my residing outside of Thailand any time soon, but I may very well do just that. Either full-time residency back in USA, or Europe, back to South America ... who knows? I don't .... yet.

[HerbalEd]

Failure? I didn't "fail" as an expat in Thailand. I just decided after a 1 year's retirement extension that I preferred the first world amenities in the US. I don't care for bars, bar girls, or an excess of alcohol and Thailand is a craphole compared to "most parts" of the US.

Thailand turned into a nice place to visit about once a year for a max of 180 days but usually more like 90. Then I get on a plane and return to everything that makes a first world country comfortable, and to weather that doesn't melt me with heat and humidity.

I'm not skint. I can do what I want to do so "cost of living" isn't an issue even though living well in Thailand doesn't seem that cheap to me.

Haha, although you have enough cash to live well in both countries, it seems you have totally missed the point of living in a country where, compared to the US, you can still do a lot of things you can only dream of in Amerca, like demonstrating without being arrested, beaten up, peppers prayed, tasered to death or shot by the militarized police, or where your kids can still open a lemonade stand without being arrested, or where your granny can still grow her own vegetables without the food police coming 'round to shut it down. Oh how about opening a little street food stand? Ha, virtually all your freedoms have been taken away, and even the food you eat is so full of crap, the government won't even allow it to be printed on the food labels.

So in a way you did fail. By the way, why do most of you still think more money equals more happiness, you've been totally blinded. In Thailand, just as has been proven in many other countries, people with less money are actually relatively happier. People who have a lot of it, are mainly occupied with getting or needing more and have been found less happier overall. You might be one of them.

Suggest you don't do any demonstrating anytime soon. At least not while the junta is still in power. And definitely don't criticize or tell jokes about the royals like you probably do about the president in the USA.

Edited December 30, 2014 by HerbalEd

[SoiBiker]

A 'true expat'?

Either you're an expat or you're not. I don't get why some feel the need to congratulate themselves on somehow being a better kind of expat.

Unfortunately, a lot of people call themselves an expat f they have lived overseas for a few months. To many people, my self included, these are longer term visitors not committed expats. My definition of an Expat is someone considers his or her home in a country that they were not born in. Sorry if you disagree but it is just my opinion

Unfortunately for you, the meaning of a word is not a matter of opinion. If you reside outside your country of origin, temporarily or permanently, you are expatriate. You don't need the approval of long-termers or those who consider themselves more worthy in order to earn the right to the term.

[HerbalEd]

The problem with Thailand's expat lifers...is they want to continue to believe in the Disney production of the King and I version of Thailand and can not handle the truth...the truth shall set you free...and many expat will relocate once they see it...

We're not all as smart and wise as you. But thanks for trying to set us straight.

[mitsubishi]

Define failed expat JT.

Ones that have settled down, got married and now have families and careers here as opposed that roll around on baht buses looking for the next great topic to post on TV haha.

Only one more day till your crowning moment - got your speech written yet?

Well, there's 'failed' expats and then there are mugs. The ones that are 'failed' have just woken up a bit if you ask me.

[Robert2006]

I wouldn't suggest getting too emotionally focused only on the semantics of the fail word. But if that's all people want to talk about, Okie Dokie, it's your call.

For me life in Thailand proved itself a lot different than I thought it would be. The people that I thought were kind hearted (the “Land of Smiles”) in reality more than not revealed themselves to be con artist and jealous thieves. I never dreamed I was moving to such a raciest country, in the US the pigment level in an individual’s skin is more or less meaningless, I find the Thai’s preoccupation with skin color revolting.

The environment in Thailand is filthy and reflects its people’s attitude; they are a lethargic group, most sleeping over a bowl of rice at there job with little pride in their surroundings. With garbage every ware and raw sewage running into beaches were people swim the Thai government remains focused on shaking down tourists and residents with various third world scamming techniques, protecting myself as a full time expat and a clean environment is not even governmental concerns.

The practice of double pricing (stealing) permitted for farang, having to deflect every type of scam imaginable day in and day out. After 8 years I have begun the process of unwinding out of Thailand I will begin to reduce my time in the Kingdom, begin the process of removing my assets which of course will radically reduce the flow of income I disperse into the community.

By far the primary reason why I am removing myself from Thailand is that I just don’t feel welcome; I do not feel like I have a home in Thailand. Personally I speak, read and write their language and I’ve made substantial investments in the community, my economic footprint is easily 20 times that of a typical Thai yet I feel unwelcome and unsupported in Thailand. It has been made very clear to me I am a guest being tolerated, a person being allowed temporary accommodation, this is not the type of environment I can call home or where I want to spend the next 25 years of my life.

I will keep a little place in Thailand for a few months a year on the beach but I know now it is not the place where I want to retire. I don’t feel I have failed with Thailand, I thought it was something different than it turned out to be and now I have decided to take a different path.

[CapeThai]

Oh my God, here we go....

This one should be interesting as it's a touchy subject to some " Failed Expats " who's feelings are hurt......

Fink wrong answer......I failed in farangland...........If I "fail" here it is my problem, not yours or the OP.

You want to laugh at me..........?...........Go ahead, don't do it to my ol' face though eh.......

Hey Transam... first of all I ( know your bluffing and &lt;deleted&gt;**ing with me ) personally think everyone has his own bed to make and sleep in it...... and secondly yet another personal opinion of mine is that every single Expat in LOS may it they be a full of crap Brit, American, Russian, Polish ( they tend to end it themselves by "balcony jumping ) or a white South African like myself it IS what you make of it.

Big BOYS don't cry

So for these guys not being happy or successful being an Expat in LOS...... GO HOME... period.

[CapeThai]

Perhaps "failed expat " refers to falangs who can't adjust to the change in culture, food, climate language etc. and go back to their country of birth with their tail between their legs. There are also expats here that "fail" in reverse because they cannot afford to live in their home country. There are even expats here on retirement visas here without meeting the requisite income or bank cash standards.

Personally, I could live in my country of birth on a part government pension and assets preserved from the GFC. Fairly humbly, no restaurant or other outings and bored shitless. Here, I live very well on the same income and assets, and because I have no interest in the politics of Thailand I save myself a lot of frustration/angst. I feel really sorry for pensioners forced to live in Western society under impoverished circumstances, and it's going to get worse. Governments around the world are waking up to the fact a ballooning older population can't be supported indefinitely by a shrinking working population.

My God, please stop the beggaring and Hi-So explanations....... It is what it is.. Coming to LOS as a Expat exploring your wildest dreams classifies you as a " Grown Man "

It's all really quite simple without pulling out the Oxford on us here.....

Get out of the Kitchen if you can not handle the heat !!!

This is all I have to say about this post....