prakhonchai nick Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 What were her financial needs over the past 20 years? Or rather what did she get by on? probably just a few thousand baht. No reason why you should not give her much the same, as well as providing food and shelter for her with you. Make her understand it is HER money, payable monthly, and includes ALL her needs as well as looking after and providing for her Mother. Nothing extra, except for birthdays and the like. Believe me it works, as long as she accepts it in the first instance. Otherwise as has been said...Move on! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
torpedo1970 Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 This is the ABSOLUTE Gospel....I find it impossible to understand why you would do it any other way if you are paying (different story if girl works and has her own income). "If you're gonna pay for everything at least get a 20 year old hottie, not a 50 year old single mother" +1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smotherb Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 It seems taking care of parents and younger siblings is part of the collectivist social security system. Therefore, it would be appropriate to simply extend that cultural penchant to also taking care of your parents and your younger siblings. In short, assure her you will give her family just as much financial support as they give your family. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerry123 Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 my income (pension related) is sixty k a month i live comfortably on 40 k want for nothing 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post The Deerhunter Posted January 5, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted January 5, 2015 It all depends on individual circumstances. Unless I was very rich (which I am far from) I would expect wife to do something to help the hh finances, especially as she as a daughter, was required by Thai custom to look after mum & dad (it is called Mothers' milk) since way before you came on the scene. Your presence should enhance her financial lifestyle. Unless you are financial enough to live a retired lifestyle, then she should also contribute, even if it is only to the value of her "mothers milk.", That is what I got mine to do since when we were living overseas. If you are working here than she shouldn't be sitting at home as "Lady Muck" while you are out slaving. Believe me, too often the devil finds work for idle hands and if she is considerably younger than you it would be helpful if she had something to occupy her mind other than sitting around listening to village gossip about who is doing what to whom & getting bored & developing bad ideas. For your info, "Mothers milk" varies by family & region but frequently pans out at about 2k to 10k per living parent plus extras, if meds, hospital or special events occur. It also depends on whether parents still have their own income & how many siblings are contributing. My wife has paid since age 19 for over 20 years. I have always honoured that. They respect me genuinely and have never been greedy. Hope this helps. BTW Make it a condition that family never find out which of you is paying. It removes some jealousies if it is a "we" thing. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarryP Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 I could not abide having a partner that didnt want to work. A woman that was happy to stay home preening herself while I was out working is not a woman worth having. Fair enough if they have young children to care for, but if not there is NO reason why they cannot contribute to the relationship. My missus works and her wage helps out quite a bit. She trained for her job and get satisfaction from it. If its a trophy you want, well....you get what you pay for I guess. I would steer clear of women like that. There are plenty of intelligent women here that want to work......hell even if they are a thick as pig pooh there will be some niche they can fill...No, I don't buy that attitude at all.I'm with you on this, but when your wife is working 6 days a week and only bringing home 12-15k a month, and you are taking home, say, 150k a month, wouldn't you feel a little bit sorry for your other half. In my opinion, a lot has to do with self respect (on the part of the woman). A woman who is not prepared to work as compared to one who is. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Suradit69 Posted January 5, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted January 5, 2015 Gee a thread about money and a farang/Thai marriage or partnership. Sort of like throwing a stick for Fido to fetch. No matter how often the stick is thrown, Fido still gets excited. And no matter how often the topic is broached the same resident experts with burnt fingers or vivid imaginations will rush in to share their wisdom on the assumption that everyone is apparently as clueless as they are. Both the stick and the advice are of little value, but the participants seem to enjoy the repetitive pointlessness of it all. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan96822 Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 Impressive, gents! Inspiring! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonlover Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 if you have so much money to risk you better spend some money and consult a lawyer Consult a lawyer? That's a pretty cool way of blowing your cash. NOT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micmichd Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 I would pay dowry for her, to her mother, most of it goes back anyway. Pay education for her daughter and let her work for herself. Dowry as substitute for social security or welfare, monthly payments as substitute for stipendiate. I think that's a fair share, and, dear farangs, be sure: "No money no honey" holds true for Farang women as well. The only difference is that they rip you off behind your back. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post khunPer Posted January 5, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted January 5, 2015 »What is a reasonable income for living in Thailand?« It’s all depending of lifestyle and relation with a Thai spouse and family. Around 1 million baht sounds to me like a nice amount for an annual budget if you are 2 people with reasonable demands; can also be (just) enough for a small family, but depending of what kind of school one choose for the child/children. A Thai lady will normally expect a (especially foreign) spouse to provide for the family, and that can in some cases include an extended Thai family. However I don’t think one can generalize, it’s individual – often a Thai spouse may wish to work or run a small business, and make some income of her own – in other cases she may “loose face” living with a “farang” (foreigner) and need to work. In some (few) cases a couple seem to share expenses at some level – seems mainly being younger couples of about same age – to my experience that is not the norm if the farang man is elder than his spouse. Often the Thai girlfriend will consider her work income as her money, and that the boyfriend provide for the daily needs; and almost everything else. It’s something important to discuss and clear with a potential girlfriend before it gets too serious. A Thai-farang relationship can work (very) well if it’s clear what it’s based on, and what the farang can provide for – and it can go desperately wrong when the expectations are too high, and that includes both parts; can be when the farang realize that the only thing he has in common with his lovely girlfriend is: his ATM... For your info, OP Bill Miller, I live here permanent on a budget close to 1 million bath a year, providing for my small family that are my girlfriend and our 9 year old daughter; but I do not provide for an extended Thai family (I/we have helped a bit in the beginning, but they work hard themselves and make enough). But it’s surely depending of your life-style how far 1 million will take you – some can live fine here for (much) less, and some can easily spent a lot more. In my case we consider us having a good life and can afford most, but we would for example not be able to afford an International School that can cost almost our whole annual budget (or more); we have to spend our money wisely. I think that if you are 2 people only, 1 million baht will not be that far from some level of hi-so life-style... I wish you good luck in LoS. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennypowers Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 This is actually the case in many cultures. I have greek friends back home who support their wives and her parents when they are short or need to buy something substantial. I have an Iranian friend who supports his wife's parents and his own. And loads of English guys I know support their wives who are stay-at-home mums, and a few of these women are from poor families so the man often pays for stuff for her parents too. I would say to expect this is not a good attitude for a woman to have; a little old school perhaps, but it certainly isn't unusual by a long shot or specific to Thailand. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catman20 Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 that's only the start mate, there are lots of descent women in Thailand its just about finding one, one like yours you can find anywhere near the beach 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loptr Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 I often wonder why foreigners are so desperate that they would take on a Thai woman that no Thai man would touch with a barge pole... Not only that, but then take on their offspring and extended family too... Why? If it's frequent carnal delights that you seek, there is no shortage of opportunity in Thailand... I know that's crass, but it's the reality of Thailand... If you're seeking a LTR and considering your options, then take bowerboy's advice, make sure she's a hot 20 year old... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smotherb Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 KhunPer, I was with you until you stated, "I think that if you are 2 people only, 1 million baht will not be that far from some level of hi-so life-style..." While a hi-so lifestyle may be subject to opinion, I would not associate B1M/yr to anywhere near a hi-so lifestyle. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micmichd Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 In normal Thai relationships, both partners work and both contribute financially. Just like at home. The reason she has been a single mother for 20 years is that no Thai man is going to put up with her rubbish. If you're gonna pay for everything at least get a 20 year old hottie, not a 50 year old single mother. Who told you about the age of the mother? My gf is 37, her daughter is 18, and I think 19 y is average for a first child in Thailand. A 20 yo hottie? You probably want a virgin, right? I prefer a 37 yo hottie with some experience Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micmichd Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 For Pattaya: 65 KB a month should do, 80 KB if you need nightlife or a permanent gf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micmichd Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 With 65 KB pm you would be upper middle class, not HiSo. If you want to cope with Bangkok HiSo snobs you would need more, but in this case you wouldn't need to ask TVF, would you? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chondan Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 Marriage is a partnership, where both parties contribute. It is a must, in a true partnership. Or Co. etc. if one or the other is not contributing, then it is going the wrong way. Take the time to discuss and find a solution. Good luck. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rotary Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 (edited) Better ditch this one with a distorted view point of life and inform her you are not her sugar daddy. She sounds like sad news in the making. Edited January 5, 2015 by rotary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bushwacker Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 You say GF. If GF then give nothing. If Wife then you need to help but keep in mind what they were receiving before. If she was helping them before and you are now in the pic as more than a BF, then you should contribute not become an ATM. Do not stick around a selfish woman it will come back to bite you in a bad way. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikiea Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 " Her idea is that a proper "boyfriend" takes care of all of his girlfriend's financial needs including her family, of course." What a load of rubbish ..... mate , if you believe that then you are surely gonna get taken for a ride. hell if da dude is taking care of parents & my needs , heck i will slap on some gloss, and say my my what a hansom man you are 3 or 4 times :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikiea Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 No money no honey.dude thats day old honey, no telling how many worker bee's dipped in that honey pot. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikiea Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 " Her idea is that a proper "boyfriend" takes care of all of his girlfriend's financial needs including her family, of course."[ What a load of rubbish ..... mate , if you believe that then you are surely gonna get taken for a ride. I think your post is a load of rubbish. Most blokes come here and don't work. Meaning they have retired whatever age they are. If they have a gf she then does not work so they can travel etc. Or you have her work for minimal money. So what we do is ask one important question. WHAT IS THE MONTHLY COMMITMENT to her and family. Call this her salary. This will include and family and buffalo. On top of that you will pay for EVERYTHING ..rent, travel booze eating out etc etc. One mill won't go close. You can't afford it 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikiea Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 huh ? who you talking to? ime confused :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Loptr Posted January 5, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted January 5, 2015 Back to the original question posed by the OP... There is a reason that Thai Immigration sets the minimum monthly income for retirees at roughy 65K baht per month... You won't live a hi-so lifestyle on that income, but you can live comfortably... Double that and you can live in a gated community, drive a nice car, have a high-end motorcycle, eat at good restaurants and enjoy life... Triple it and you write your own ticket where ever you go... It all comes down to YOUR priorities... Unfortunately I had to re-evaluate my priorities this week and cut loose a long time GF... I thought she was the perfect woman, i.e.; parents no longer living, 1 sibling that is doing well for himself, no kids and didn't want kids, bachelor degree and speaks English quite well... She got greedy and began making demands.. Too bad because I really liked her... Oh well, it's my life, my $$$ and my sanity, so she had to go... The back-pedaling began immediately, but she had already crossed the line... She now has hard decisions to make because she is on the wrong side of 40 and doesn't have many options... I hope this gives the OP some perspective from the peanut gallery... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussieroaming Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 " Her idea is that a proper "boyfriend" takes care of all of his girlfriend's financial needs including her family, of course." What a load of rubbish ..... mate , if you believe that then you are surely gonna get taken for a ride. yes, what absolute garbage. If she's your best mate then re-evaluate your criteria. My wife never asked for one cent while we were dating, fully supported herself and did what ever she had to for her family and never asked me to contribute a penny. All of her family work and support themselves. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert24 Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 so as most people commented: 1) usually the wife/gf contributes to an income as well unless she looks after children but even then she should be able to contribute something. 2) 1m baht per year is ok to live from for a couple. I spend less although we don't have debt, both car and house we own and is paid upfront. Now you should really challenge her attitude that she doesn't want to contribute financially to you as a couple or her family. It's a matter of character and I guess also if she has a decent education and is still young, what does she do if she is not working? Personally I prefer hard working, well educated women who contribute to the family, be it through a business they run, a job they have or some other ways. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gecko123 Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 Plenty of reason to be concerned about the OP's future happiness here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micmichd Posted January 5, 2015 Share Posted January 5, 2015 Simply calculate permanent living costs in Thailand = 50 pct of living costs in Europe or North America. "Permanent" does not include cars, electronics etc. But you don't need 2 TVs because 4 eyes are watching, do you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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