Would you have lent the money?

[Squeegee]

Started at a new school 3 weeks ago after a long lay off due to British new passport nightmares at the same time as 'crackdowns' and since I didn't want to be working illegally until I could get a new passport I found myself having a long holiday. The lost potential earnings was a fair bit of money, though I hung on.

So though I'm not at my financial best at the moment, a mere 100THB is not the end of the world for me....

I started this job late in the school year because 3 teachers all left for different reasons. There's another guy who started at the same time who I share gate duty with once a week. Gate duty is 7:30 to 8am but it's pretty much done by 7:50 so there's no problem heading off by then.

This week this other guy turned up for gate duty at 7:50, just as I was about to leave, complaining the motorbike taxis wouldn't stop for him but just waved him off. I get this too many times in the morning. Maybe it's because they are changing shift or they want to get back closer to their patch, I neither know nor care: to me it's just part of daily Thailand life and usually one will pick me up within 5 minutes. Even so, despite this guy's excuse, he had 'sleep face', in that he'd clearly very recently woken up.

The week before we went to lunch together and he said he'd stopped smoking... but asked for a cigarette.

Today he came into the office in the afternoon and said he'd left his money in his jeans and did I have 100THB? I told him I had no money and he walked off audibly complaining to himself.

I went against character there, because I'm the sort of guy who would have given that trifling sum, despite me not being particularly rich at the moment, but.. Thailand.. changes.. people.

I've both borrowed and lent money here in the past, with a (foreign) English department director when he lent me a few grand 'til pay day after I got robbed; in return I lent him a few grand after he had a bike accident here - fair enough: we knew and trusted each other.

But I barely know this guy who already has claimed to have quit smoking (presumably his excuse for not having his own cigarettes) then proceeded ask me for one of mine; who has excuses for turning up late that I find dubious; and has now asked to borrow money.

I've seen the 'should you lend money to other farang in Thailand' threads before, and for the first time in my life I found myself (clearly) lying to say I didn't even have 100THB to lend, in accordance with the attitude that these kinds of people often don't return it or will then keep coming back for more, and I guess I've taken the nip-it-in-the-bud approach.

I don't feel comfortable with it really. The tiny sum is not what's relevant here: it's the morality of it, indeed the practicality of it if I ever needed such a favour myself, but as I said: Thailand.. changes.. people.

[CharlieH]

100 baht then, Yes I would of, and if it wasnt returned then it wouldnt be happening again that's for sure.

Larger sums then no.

[Squeegee]

Yes I would of, and if it wasnt returned then it wouldnt be happening again that's for sure.

Thanks for the reply Charlie. I normally would have thought like that too, so that's probably why I feel bad and posted this to confirm to myself I've become overly cynical or protective, ha!

I think I did the wrong thing and if I'd have had chance to think about it first I would have given the stupid 100THB then next time given him a good telling to eff off.

[krisb]

Probably would have, just a 100b.

What has the sleepy face got to do with it?

[Squeegee]

Probably would have, just a 100b.

What has the sleepy face got to do with it?

That, and the cigarette thing, is me trying to put some kind of context to my impressions of someone I barely know asking for money.

Really, I'm sympathetic and I think I might apologize to him tomorrow.

[NE1]

100 Baht this time , 500 next time , then a 1.000 baht , each time paying you back till you start to trust him , then one day the big one.

[konying]

OP, why should you feel bad?

He has the money for a taxi to get to work, safe to assume.

At what point did he realize he forget his wallet ? After paying the taxi driver or seeing you?

Have a think

[gerry123]

not my policy to lend money for many reasons but i do have a mate who does but he is 6ft plus and built like a brick s**t house

and even he has problems with fund recovery, whatever the reason its their problem and of their making no need to share as they didn't consult you when they made the debt

[Squeegee]

100 Baht this time , 500 next time , then a 1.000 baht , each time paying you back till you start to trust him , then one day the big one.

This is exactly the kind of post I've seen before in topics like this that made me make that decision. I'm not criticizing you, but since I didn't know the guy and he didn't seem particularly organized yet seemed to have plenty of excuses about things I took exactly your stance. Now I think I may not have done the best thing.

[Squeegee]

OP, why should you feel bad?

He has the money for a taxi to get to work, safe to assume.

At what point did he realize he forget his wallet ? After paying the taxi driver or seeing you?

Have a think

Nice point. I feel somewhat better now.

And thanks too, Gerry.

[siampolee]

NE 1 post 6

100 Baht this time , 500 next time , then a 1.000 baht , each time paying you back till you start to trust him , then one day the big one.

konying post # 7

OP, why should you feel bad?

He has the money for a taxi to get to work, safe to assume.

At what point did he realize he forget his wallet ? After paying the taxi driver or seeing you?

Have a think

Indeed two very wise comments.

I've seen the situation arise before the best or rather the worst was a teacher who lent his best mate 25.k to fund a new apartment deposit who after the borrower had been absent from work for 5 days with no contact it was decided to go to his old apartment to see if anyone knew where he was.

Indeed his old neighbors knew his whereabouts, he had departed back home to the U.S having managed to secure as was later discovered some 100 k baht in deposit loans. To this day no-one as far as I know has found the character or even been repaid.

False U.S. address and emails never answered.

''Indeed a friend in need here is normally a liability,'' sad to say.

[Benjie]

100 Baht this time , 500 next time , then a 1.000 baht , each time paying you back till you start to trust him , then one day the big one.

2,000 Baht?

[burgerking]

100 baht isn't much.

But with larger requests it goes like this with me. I don't lend to you, you get the rag on with me.

I lend to you, you don't repay me back, i get the rag on with you. It's better that you have the rag on with me.

Option 2 always works for me with large requests.

[bino]

I would have lent the 100 baht. The guy obviously needed the help if he was seeking such a small amount.

If it wasn't paid back within a day or two, I would have considered it a small but wise investment to get him off of my back and out of my life permanently.

[daveAustin]

Nope. Have lent to teachers and have had to chase after them (if only for karma's sake) each time. And these were people I knew, so screw the guy I don't know! You made the right decision.

[Beetlejuice]

OP, why should you feel bad?

He has the money for a taxi to get to work, safe to assume.

At what point did he realize he forget his wallet ? After paying the taxi driver or seeing you?

Have a think

Nice point. I feel somewhat better now.

And thanks too, Gerry.

From day one since I have lived in Thailand, my policy has always been I do not lend money to anyone. If I really like a person and believe it`s a genuine case, then I may consider giving money, but that I leave up to my own discretion.

As you say you hardly know the guy, the worse that can happen is that he doesn`t like you anymore and so What? You have lost nothing and the ponce may find some other mug to give him money.

In some instances pity can be a sign of weakness and once you display that you`re a soft touch people lose respect and you become Mr Gullible.

But of course whatever you decide is up to your own risk and discretion.

[wangsuda]

I'm sympathetic and I think I might apologize to him tomorrow.

Why must you apologize? By your own description of this fellow he is not very reliable. IMO you made the right choice. Now stick with it.

At what point did he realize he forget his wallet ? After paying the taxi driver or seeing you?

And to this kind of person you want to apologize and lend money. Nope, not a good idea.

[Berkshire]

The guy sounds like a real freeloader. It's your money, you get to decide. The worst thing that could happen is he doesn't ask you again....which is also the best thing that could happen. "Never a borrower or lender be"....or words to that effect.

[Squeegee]

I would have lent the 100 baht. The guy obviously needed the help if he was seeking such a small amount.

If it wasn't paid back within a day or two, I would have considered it a small but wise investment to get him off of my back and out of my life permanently.

This is how I would normally have dealt with it. Still, no apologies tomorrow either.

Thanks everyone!

[WhamBam]

100 Baht. I would have given. If it was not returned or offered back, I'd also refuse in the future. Not the amount, it is the principle.

[HeijoshinCool]

Thailand doesn't change people. Thailand is like alcohol: it only lays bare who you really are.

[samsensam]

100 Baht. I would have given. If it was not returned or offered back, I'd also refuse in the future. Not the amount, it is the principle.

agree.

and OP, thanks for an enlightening, but if i'm honest pretty depressing, account of life as an english teacher here.

everyone to their own and i'm sure there is enjoyment and job satisfaction in there somewhere!

[Rajhulmaheesh]

Be good to yourself. Dont lend. Never comes out good. You will be the one agonizing no matter what happens.

[Rajhulmaheesh]

100 Baht. I would have given. If it was not returned or offered back, I'd also refuse in the future. Not the amount, it is the principle.

agree.

and OP, thanks for an enlightening, but if i'm honest pretty depressing, account of life as an english teacher here.

everyone to their own and i'm sure there is enjoyment and job satisfaction in there somewhere!

no there isnt! lol.

[Lukecan]

This is being beyong cheap, its something else, there should be a new word invented for it. Its just 100 baht hahahaha

[sdanielmcev]

No. He sounds like the kind of guy that always 'needs' something. It's not that you won't get it back, it's a form of bullying. Somehow always your fault.

[Berkshire]

This is being beyong cheap, its something else, there should be a new word invented for it. Its just 100 baht hahahaha

It's the principle. But since you mention it, how much would you consider too much? 500? 1,000? 10,000? Surely guys like you would be able to explain to us untidy masses.

[bangkokjulia]

You did the right thing. Nothing to feel guilty about at all.

[Lukecan]

100thb to put your coworker through a chatacter test, no big deal. Don't give the principle bs

[abhaya]

Just give him 100THB, the amount of energy and thought you have put into this already worth a few thousand.