When is enough, enough.

[ThePlant]

OK before there's too much outpouring of sympathy and

solidarity for the OP, bear in mind that this is not the

poor, downtrodden comrade fallen in the never-ending

struggle for wedded bliss in this country.

Not so long ago the guy made two very disturbing,

very distasteful posts about his stepdaughter's body.

He's since said they were completely innocent and

denies any impropriety or inappropriate feelings/desires

for his stepdaughter but I remember the mods felt

strongly enough to remove one of those posts as well

as responses to it from some understandably disgusted

members.

Sorry but what kind of man disrespects his wife by

sexualising her daughter?? I don't care if she's of legal

age; you just don't do it out of basic respect for your wife,

4FS.

Sorry but this OP is from anything but quality stock.

Frankly, my sympathies lie with his wife.

Interesting. Thank you.

I said she had a nice butt,what is it with you,you keep harking back to it,'disturbing',well not for me,really what are you,i see on another forum ,you are already up there with the most odious poster of the year,hey pal if you don't like the female form up to you,my comments were innocent,and so your in with the mods are you,you have the inside info do you,stop infering things that i did not say,and get out of your sanctimonius preaching attitude.

If your comment had been that innocuous, the mods wouldn't

have taken the offending post down. You made reference to

being more or less mesmerised by the "jiggling" contents of

the "skin tight jeans". You sounded like you were

rubbing one out while you were typing and that's most likely

why the post was sanctoned by the mods.

I'm most definitely not "in with the mods" but let's ask them if

there are any inaccuracies in what I've described?

It looks like you read it well enough to even memorise the contents. No doubt while you have a 'rummage' in your pocket while you vicariously recalled the contents of said post no doubt getting a bit carried away thinking about 'juggling contents' and 'tight jeans' etc.

Now I think of it, you did say you were 'shaking like a paint stirrer' in front of your computer the other day. Now we know why....

Edited January 24, 2015 by ThePlant

[jacko45k]

A wife who moved a family into the marital home is inconsiderate.

A kid who leaves a floater is just dopey but not a particularly big deal, kids have their heads elsewhere most of the time.

Her father believes he rules the roost.

It would not have got that far with me, my wife seems to have explained a few things to her family and they are great.

(Being 300 km away is the 'great' I mean)

[Rajhulmaheesh]

Charlie,

Thanks for your input buddy,and also Eddy,slapping them i feel would not have done anything,much that i wanted too,we are talking back country peasants here,but what i don't get is i have given them a glimpse of a better future,yet they would rather wallow in filth,it's probably too late for the old man,i guess i should be gratefull he did not have a dump out there,but i ask and ask,and still they seem happy to wallow in filth.

Disdain if i ever heard it. You married a peasent what did you expect her kin to be.

I f you wanted hi-so thai chinese life-style you should have married a hi-so babe. Theres maybe 2 or 3 left- the rest already taken................hahahaha!

[ronthai]

Man you need a drink or 2, just be sure to do it before midnight with the new law today.

anyway, I am sure many things happened before this, but enough is enough.

As said, talk to the lady dad has to go or you go and discipline the son

[Rajhulmaheesh]

Never hitch up with a woman with a son from a previous marriage - 99% of the time it's a nightmare.

I hope you are only renting the house as your wife obviousy has absolutely no respect for you. Run.

What a bloody nerve, cutting down your trees. Kick him out immediately. I bet the boy doesn't wai you - this shows total disrespect.

Neernam,

Thanks for your input mate,the house is the wife's i have spent some $ on extensions,but nothing i cannot absorb, ,really disapointed how it's all tuned out,but "ce la vie' should have known it would end up like this,not all her fault,but when you realise you are just bankrolling the entire extended family,for the occasional hand job,it's time to go.

Its all her fault. You married her and she is the go between between you and the relatives.

Its also your fault for marrying the girl in the first place. This marrying the family thing also isnt a myth.

Please tell me whats the fascination with VILLAGE girls?

PS its also possible its all part of a grand plan. Several bargirls have told me the PLAN is to marry a guy get him to build house or EXTENSIONS and then get rid of him.

Edited January 24, 2015 by Rajhulmaheesh

[rotary]

The initial mistake was made by connected long term with a woman with kid/s from a previous relationship. Sometimes thats ok, most of the time not as they resent you. Then even allowing "Dad" to move in and not throwing him out on his ear was a major mistake.

Good luck in a salvage of this relationship. You have to step up and take control or get out.

Edited January 24, 2015 by rotary

[saroq]

Pigeon ,

thanks buddy,but it's like flogging a dead horse,i am gonna walk/drive[drive sounds less dramatic].but i feel they only see me as a atm now.

Sadly i think the truth is that she only saw you as an ATM from day one. By allowing her father and son to behave in the way you describe she clearly has no respect for you whatsoever. For your own self respect you are making the right decision, get out and try and put it behind you. You are not the first and you certainly won't be the last. Good luck.

Whatever you try to salvage from this situation will only draw you back in and cost you more when you eventually leave at a later date. Walk away and withdraw all support. There is no point talking to your wife she will only understand actions now. Unfortunately if you do decide to eventually return you may run the risk of something worse happening to you. If she treats you like this once she will treat you the same or worse in the future.

Edited January 24, 2015 by saroq

[maynard420]

It's not you kid bro and its is sure not you dad or dad in law, so kick them out unless the house is her name then get in the car, bike or walk away and don't look back, as my father and myself say about Thai women and if you are sick of there shit and there family " Next Soi" meaning there are so many intelligent women out there and they probably don't have allot of baggage, the first thing to do with a Thai lady is to figure out if she has a kid or not so if you don't want turds in your house then you won't have any.

Be strong, go get laid for a week straight and then go to the local massage parlor and get a new bride, simple as that.

Let me know how it turns out and let me know if you need anymore advice.

I am 37 and have lived in Pattaya for 15 years and know allot and have seen allot so I have alot of real time advice, I am not blowing smoke broths, I am tired of seeing good guys like us get <deleted> over and we just sit on our hands and take it because we don't want to loose the hot wife or girlfriend, but when you head clears of her you will kick yourself for being so clueless I should say.

I am here for ya bro..

Jay.

[canarysun]

If it was me i would quite simply " Throw the bloody lot out " ( and then change the locks ) and then " Klaus Kinski can " Foxtrot Oscar " into the sunset.........

F.J

[NickJ]

Get rid of all of them. Even let the wife go. If she is smart she will come back. I had a friend.....his father in law moved in and whenever he could, as long as his daughter wasnt around he would fart and fart and he even would pee on the carpet inside the house......Caesar Milan would have said he was marking his territory. He got rid of all of them. If it were me I would have put his ear buds in his food.

[Rajhulmaheesh]

There are not a lot of intelligent middle class women who want a nice simple life with a dog 2 kids and a nice white picket fence who dont have a lot of baggage.

If there were im sure guys would marry them.

There are tons of women in the next soi to marry as you say..........mostly prostitutes....................hahahaha!

PS I really dont think guys who marry prostitutes are good guys. Good guys dont marry hookers......hahahahaha!

[thaibeachlovers]

If it was me i would quite simply " Throw the bloody lot out " ( and then change the locks ) and then " Klaus Kinski can " Foxtrot Oscar " into the sunset.........

F.J

IT'S NOT HIS HOUSE!

He has no right to change the locks without his wife's consent.

If his wife wants her father there, he can't say no.

The only "right" he has is to Foxtrot Oscar into the sunset himself.

[Rajhulmaheesh]

Listen to Beach. The fater and son isnt the problem .ITS the WIFE.

[catweazle]

I said it often, and I say it again; best find a Thai wife who is an oprhan, or at least one coming with as little luggage (kids from previous marriages, parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, grannies, etc.) as possible. The problem here in Thailand is that you always marry the family too. Whenever push comes to shove, 95% of the Thais married to a foreigner will be on the side of their family, no matter how wrong or how bad they are...

My advise to you is to use this little episode as a jumping board into your new life full of freedom and happiness. Kick Invitation Happy Mom, the Turd Keeper, and Lumberjack Daddy out and start a new life without a partnership that feels like a crazy monkey sitting on your shoulders!

Btw - your mail gave me the ideal name for my punk band (in the planning stage) "The unflushed Turds"

Wishing you all the best, do the right thing and follow your heart!

Edited January 24, 2015 by catweazle

[johninbkk]

Before we married, even living together in the early stages of our relationship I laid down the law, no one, but no one, family or friends can live with us. I said there will be times when we need to help out, Max 4 weeks stay.

10 years later, everything has run smoothly, well apart from handing out cash to keep them afloat every now and then.

Mum gets her (salary) and if her children need assistance she has a bank balance to assist.

It sounds like your in laws and leaches do not have a permanent residence, you may have to rent something for them. A long way away

I hope your wife can see the importance as this could destroy the union.

Good Luck

[Rajhulmaheesh]

I hope your wife can see the importance as this could destroy the union.

Good Luck

Destroy the union is the end of GAME. Headline is village sports section- Wife wins, man goes home head between legs wondering what just happened.

You guys who marry villagers are so blind. Listen to us who have no skin in the game. Life would be so much easier.............hahahaha!

Edited January 24, 2015 by Rajhulmaheesh

[DGS1244]

Just remember that here situations will never get better, improve or return to what they were. Once made they stay, you need to make what will be a hard decision but in the end at least you will get your life back as to how you want it. Been there in the past, was hard at the time to change a bad situation but now I enjoy life with no attachments that I cannot control and that is the way it will stay. Taking on step children is just a nightmare, remember the rest of the family will eventually follow.

[canarysun]

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If it was me i would quite simply " Throw the bloody lot out " ( and then change the locks ) and then " Klaus Kinski can " Foxtrot Oscar " into the sunset.........

F.J alt=wai2.gif>

IT'S NOT HIS HOUSE!

He has no right to change the locks without his wife's consent.

If his wife wants her father there, he can't say no.

The only "right" he has is to Foxtrot Oscar into the sunset himself.

LOL !! very funny...I even choked on my morning ( Buddy Dean ) coffee........ x

[thaibeachlovers]

I said it often, and I say it again; best find a Thai wife who is an oprhan, or at least one coming with as little luggage (kids from previous marriages, parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, grannies, etc.) as possible. The problem here in Thailand is that you always marry the family too. Whenever push comes to shove, 95% of the Thais married to a foreigner will be on the side of their family, no matter how wrong or how bad they are...

My advise to you is to use this little episode as a jumping board into your new life full of freedom and happiness. Kick Invitation Happy Mom, the Turd Keeper, and Lumberjack Daddy out and start a new life without a partnership that feels like a crazy monkey sitting on your shoulders!

Btw - your mail gave me the ideal name for my punk band (in the planning stage) "The unflushed Turds"

Wishing you all the best, do the right thing and follow your heart!

Kick Invitation Happy Mom, the Turd Keeper, and Lumberjack Daddy out

You must have missed my post only a couple ago. HE CAN'T KICK THEM OUT. IT"S HER HOUSE- is that clear enough?

[In Search of Space]

Hyoid have to follow through, she will come back and then you state your terms for reconcilliation

[kovaltech]

Charlie,

Thanks for your input buddy,and also Eddy,slapping them i feel would not have done anything,much that i wanted too,we are talking back country peasants here,but what i don't get is i have given them a glimpse of a better future,yet they would rather wallow in filth,it's probably too late for the old man,i guess i should be gratefull he did not have a dump out there,but i ask and ask,and still they seem happy to wallow in filth.

its a hypocritic world...

rage and anger are seldom expressed

what works fine for me all time is a kind of body and sign language combined with a few Thai words.

like opening the door towards them pointing outwards and pronouncing pom mai chob khun tam...

just express to them that they have to leave your house

never show anger and threaten to leave yourself.

Its "respect me in the same way i respect you, or you leave my house"

Also helpfull is to put up a sad face, asking them why they are so disrespectfull towards you and that now you are obligated to ask them to leave your house and that you are so sad about it

[IAMHERE]

Thanks mate,it is with a heavy heart i am doing this,i love my wife,but as the op said enough is enough,and she cannot change,and cannot see that her father,who can not even cook an egg or make a coffee for himself is a leech and is sucking her dry,but what can she do,it is a conumdrum terrible,as the french say.

I thought your wife depended on your money? If so then you are being sucked dry.

Sit down sometime soon and figure out how to protect your ATM in the future if you do leave.

I would not take anything that she can use to track me down, no phone buy a new one, sell your vehicles now, don't tell her where you aer going, tell her you are moving to Phillippines. Don't contact her or anyone she knows, stay gone.

Talk to a lawyer about a divorce now. Protect your ATM.

[thaibeachlovers]

Charlie,

Thanks for your input buddy,and also Eddy,slapping them i feel would not have done anything,much that i wanted too,we are talking back country peasants here,but what i don't get is i have given them a glimpse of a better future,yet they would rather wallow in filth,it's probably too late for the old man,i guess i should be gratefull he did not have a dump out there,but i ask and ask,and still they seem happy to wallow in filth.

its a hypocritic world...

rage and anger are seldom expressed

what works fine for me all time is a kind of body and sign language combined with a few Thai words.

like opening the door towards them pointing outwards and pronouncing pom mai chob khun tam...

just express to them that they have to leave your house

never show anger and threaten to leave yourself.

Its "respect me in the same way i respect you, or you leave my house"

Also helpfull is to put up a sad face, asking them why they are so disrespectfull towards you and that now you are obligated to ask them to leave your house and that you are so sad about it

That is not possible. Read my post # 79.

[Shiver]

Sounds to me like the father thinks he's giving you a space in his territory/family and also believes you are abusing it (without consideration for who actually pays, as a westerner might).

I'm no expert in these matters, but my approach would be to define my patch elsewhere (even if it's a rented basic room) and ask the good lady if she wants to join you or not. The kid turd thing I would dismiss, and is probably just a final wind up after a bad experience and they're all being bundled together in your mind.

What I've always done (though I should say it hasn't worked out for keeping the relationship together, much to their cost in many ways, and mine emotionally), is I say "I take care of you, it's your job to take care of your family", give her the resources and let her decide how much of 'her' resources go to family. You might be surprised how frugal she can suddenly become.

In my own couple of cases, one followed the family wishes and 'ahem... suddenly' left for a suitor they found for her with more money (I had almost nothing at the time, but eventually rectified that as I had promised I would, but too late by then), and in the next one the family were firmly on my side as they saw I was a good provider and I sorted out a lot of crap for them (at arms length - I never wanted to become part of the tribe), but she found other ways to screw up, which weren't about relationship, but vice that these people get into. Both were obviously deal breakers, which hurt...

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't waste time trying to educate them in what you want it to be, just make your space how you want it to be without asking for permission, and let them opt in or out of 'your world'. For me that would be 'self > wife > family' (with a non return valve in that flow) and let her deal with the detail - she's got a lifetime of experience in that environment already, not your job.

[Don Aleman]

BON VOYAGE !

[Derek M]

Move out, giver her the gift of missing you. Cut her money, if she wants money tell her to get a job. How long will daddy hang around when nobody is buying food for him? Point to the turd tell step son "nagiat!" explain to wife and daddy that is not acceptable.

Before you return, set down the ground rules, like daddy has to plant new palm trees and he or she has to pay for them! politely remind her he has a right to 50% of her assets gained after they got married regardless of who's names said properties are in.

Remember, she could very well lose face if you walk as many may start to talk she is not a good wife. You could plant that seed by mentioning (to villagers) she does nt take care of you, does nt keep clean house, does nt iron or wash your clothes..

If father's name is not in blue book...I think you can kick him out! (operative words I think)

[shaurene]

I would have slapped both the son and father and told the wife to send them away

Put your brain into operation before you open your mouth Eddie, you cannot do that.

[Rajhulmaheesh]

Other than Beach i think all of you are froot-loopy. No wonder thai girls see guys as atms. I bet a girl with a teenage son is in utter shock when she is able to hook a foreigner husaband when no decent thai man will touch them with a 20 meter chrome pole.....................lol.

This is so entertaining but sad. hahahahaha !

[ggt]

I feel your pain bro...my gf's 8 year old would come down stairs...from playing the gaming computer I had given him...and use the one toilet that he knew that I was the only one to use...and piss all over the seat...he was so proud of himself showing that farang how he felt about him buggering his mother...

Got tired of her going away to stay with her mom...and her Thai "brother" would bring her home in his nice truck....um..hum...

Told her I had to return to the US for some medical procedure concerning my heart...gave her a fist full of baht and said goodbye...

One of the better decision I have made lately...

Good Luck!

Edited January 24, 2015 by ggt

[NickJ]

I have been in Thailand now more than two decades. I have made many many mistakes. Some I have learned from. Others I kept repeating. I was with my wife for twelve years. I could write seasons of soap operas based on my life with her. Anyways. I got out. Dated awhile and met a very decent girl. For once I have change in my pants. I have no worries about valubles missing or horrible animal like in laws showing up or calling at all hours demanding my hard earned money.....Nice girls are out there....They are very hard to find in bars. Most of them have jobs. And it takes a bit of time to get them in the sack. I even like her Mom.......So Dont take it you dont have to. Dont settle . Life is to short.and......Having the ATM tatoo removed from my forehead was pretty painless.

Good luck....