When is enough, enough.

[Travelman868]

Question :- Who owns the house ? If it's yours then the family EXPECT you to go.

As for the turd put it in his bed, thats sure to work

[dotpoom]

I have to admit that I am really surprised at the replies I have read so far ....they seem to be very tolerant of absolute selfish and self centered behaviour. (that of his wife and kin, not the OP) I myself would not be so understanding, but am willing to admit that I may have something to learn from your replies. I like the proverb I once heard...."No man is my enemy, no man is my friend....but every man is my teacher.

On second thoughts..... No.....I would never allow myself to be treated like s - - -., if i did then I deserve it.

Edited January 24, 2015 by dotpoom

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I have to admit that I am really surprised at the replies I have read so far ....they seem to be very tolerant of absolute selfish and self centered behaviour. (that of his wife and kin, not the OP) I myself would not be so understanding, but am willing to admit that I may have something to learn from your replies. I like the proverb I once heard...."No man is my enemy, no man is my friend....but every man is my teacher.

Many of the old foreign duffers posting on this forum are used to being doormats for a Thai family.

I guess after a time it seems somehow normal.

[poweratradio]

Pigeon ,

thanks buddy,but it's like flogging a dead horse,i am gonna walk/drive[drive sounds less dramatic].but i feel they only see me as a atm now.

Well if that is the final then let them know they broke the bank and show them what real rage is. Starting destroying stuff that is in your way and crap on the floors and laugh as your doing it > at them.

If op thinks they finally started to see him as atm i would argue from day 1 he was seen as an ATM.

There really isnt ANY other reason for villager to marry dubious farangs they meet in various sois that serve adult beverages.

For the women there is a very good reason to marry foreign men. Better lovers caring giving and bigger plumbing equipment.

[Gracas]

Marko, I think you need to buy the FIL a new motorcycle so as he can get out and about a little, NO thinking about it again you just need to throw the old bastard out and tell him never to come back. Problem solved.

[thaibeachlovers]

Marko, I think you need to buy the FIL a new motorcycle so as he can get out and about a little, NO thinking about it again you just need to throw the old bastard out and tell him never to come back. Problem solved.

Please explain how the OP can throw the man out of a house he doesn't own?

[thaibeachlovers]

WOW The first time i have read post from start to finish.

Are the gloves on or off.

Reminds me of this fellow i met once. While driving across

the country one time, i stopped in a pissy country town with

one 7/11 that had a welcoming cool A/C. I got some supplies

and was finishing a cool ice cream when another falang turned

up, so i did what was expected of me and ignored him but

when he came out of the 7/11 he came over and started a

conversation, he invited me to his place and as i had time to

kill, me thinks OK,, after a bit of time he brings out the photo

album,,, exactly the same story,, builds a new house, new

everything,, beautifully landscaped yard,, then i see some

other photos that don't make sense so i asked him to explain.

He said after he built the house, the mother and father came

to stay and never left, they turned the place into a filthy pig

sty,, all cooking rubbish thrown out the window into a pile

the father brought some pigs in and some buffalo,, the

toilet never got clean,, he said the smell from the stench

and the unhygienic living style drove him nuts,, finally he

just walked out and left it all behind,,, it was the best he

could do, not just for his health but for his sanity...

There was a stepson involved but i won't go there.

Do most men that move to Thailand and move in with a Thai woman lose their brains? That is the only explanation I can come up with for them thinking the "rules" are the same as back home, and buying/ building their wives/ girlfriends houses.

[thaibeachlovers]

Question :- Who owns the house ? If it's yours then the family EXPECT you to go.

As for the turd put it in his bed, thats sure to work

Who owns the house ?

Have you read none of the thread except the OP? That's been answered many times.

[CWMcMurray]

Haven't read all the posts but have tried to read those from the OP...

Seems the problem is the Father... Difficult position, as even if he is a bum, she can't just abandon him....

Before he moved in, where was he living? Maybe make a deal to rent a place for him elsewhere?

Or tell the wife of he can go live with another family member out in the country "where ever"... You will give him a monthly living allowance...

Again, this is not perfect, as don't really think there is any perfect

solution.

Also if the wife works, then this living allowance should come from her salary ...

But if you want the relationship to continue and the thing preventing that is the father living with you... Then need to find some solution that allows for him to move out without the wife feeling like she is 'abandoning' her father

If not, then just end it and move on

Edited January 24, 2015 by CWMcMurray

[Ulic]

The camels back is broken, move on it is never going to work. Just take it as one of life's painful lessons.

[lanng khao]

A few post back the op was advised that if he was going to leave then his parting shot should be to drop his kecks and shit on the floor while laughing at the same time, that's something av allways fancied doing in the face of adversity, av just tried it and found it nigh on impossible.Maybe it's the position, or the fact certain muscles are fighting for preference,maybe it's just me I can't put my finger on it, any chance anybody else can give it a shot?, it's a good time now, one or two of you have just finished your buddy coffees and will have one in the loading bay, it will put my mind at rest if it is possible to have a brad Pitt while letting out a deranged manic laugh, cheers...

[Yoshimura]

It's really sad when someone provides a better life for someone and they either don't appreciate it or they just take advantage of you by seeing how far they can take it by inviting family members over. Based on my experience many Thai women just can't seem to help themselves if given the opportunity of a good life, they always seem to screw it up somehow and this is a perfect case. There are too many women in Pattaya to settle down with one that makes you miserable and does not respect you, I know you value your marriage but everyday that you stay, it's a wasted day of happiness. good luck on your decision.

[steven100]

ok Marko ,

give us an update please .... what's the situation on the home front like now ?

[EmptyHead]

With a mere 45 posts as well,welcome,to the den ,and abandon all hope.

I suppose you think that was a clever answer. Let me try again.

What do you think a Thai man would do if he were so disrespected in his own house?

Some Thai men would do nothing. Some would murder the whole family. Some would drink a Leo and go see the mistress.

Why must we compare ourselves to Thai men anyway?

The OP should just walk away.

Edited January 25, 2015 by EmptyHead

[canarysun]

I think there must be hundreds of farangs living like this here in Thailand.Many seem to be controlled completely and " under the thumb " by there Thai lady.( some men actually like it...) but what a " miserable " way to live.I love living on my own and would have it no other way.I can do what i want and when i want.I answer to nobody.( only to the Thai Visa Viewers..) Not only does this kind of life bring misery but also very expensive too." The thought of a Richard The Third drifting about in the Khazi is just the icing on the cake "..............x

F.J

[ttthailand]

You shouldn't be a control freak but you can't let people take advantage. I really think you need to be open and honest with your mate. If you are afraid that voicing your opinion and standing up for your rights in your own home will lead to a major fight or her leaving you it is time to pack up and go find another woman. I had similar problems before and found it difficult to change the mindset. This along with a few other factors and I decided to walk, best move I could have made. I took a financial loss but Life is better now and I am more happy.

[xylophone]

Couldn't stop reading the posts as found them "intriguing"!!

As regards the original post from"marko kok prong", It seemed like he was at the end of his tether and I certainly wouldn't put up with any of the stuff he is putting up with, however as others have pointed out, it is not his house and not his in which to dictate the terms of his relationship with the family, so he is in a difficult position.

I don't know if the other posters' quotes as to his wife saying that sex with her was going to finish when she reached the age of 40, were true, however that would certainly ring alarm bells for me. But the following post from him probably says more about the relationship than all of his other posts, in as much as he states, "but when you realise you are just bankrolling the entire extended family,for the occasional hand job,it's time to go".

Now, he says that he loves his wife, however I don't see that being reciprocated in light of what he has stated above and IMO that is no basis for a marriage and indeed it would be time to go, and he probably should have gone a long time ago in this case.

Others have suggested that he sits down with his wife and tries to talk things through with her, however In my experience that just does not work with Thai women and no matter what is agreed, they will revert to the norm at the earliest possible convenience. I call it the "elastic band principle", whereby as long as pressure is maintained on the elastic band, things are great, however as soon as this pressure is taken off, it reverts to its normal shape........and that happens with Thai women in my experience; this to the point of destroying a relationship, even when they have everything to lose!!!

I would already be on the road to somewhere new by now.............new places, new experiences, new people and a new life and be free to do what I wanted when I wanted.

[YeahSiam]

It's really sad when someone provides a better life for someone and they either don't appreciate it or they just take advantage of you by seeing how far they can take it by inviting family members over. Based on my experience many Thai women just can't seem to help themselves if given the opportunity of a good life, they always seem to screw it up somehow and this is a perfect case. There are too many women in Pattaya to settle down with one that makes you miserable and does not respect you, I know you value your marriage but everyday that you stay, it's a wasted day of happiness. good luck on your decision.

Yes, how dare she? As long as she gets a few baht

each month, she should just put up with her husband

ogling her 17 year old daughter's backside.

I don't know if the other posters' quotes as to his wife saying that sex with her was going to finish when she reached the age of 40, were true, however that would certainly ring alarm bells for me. But the following post from him probably says more about the relationship than all of his other posts, in as much as he states, "but when you realise you are just bankrolling the entire extended family,for the occasional hand job,it's time to go".

They are true. This is the thread he started about it.;b++){var>

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/788034-sex-after-40-for-thai-ladies/

Ordinarily, I'd feel sorry for a man going through this

kind of thing but, in this instance, it really couldn't be

happening to a more deserving person.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Yes, how dare she? As long as she gets a few baht

each month, she should just put up with her husband

ogling her 17 year old daughter's backside.

According to this thread, over 15 is fair game.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/776468-mathayom-3-student-wins-thai-supermodel-2014/

[lanng khao]

Yes, how dare she? As long as she gets a few baht

each month, she should just put up with her husband

ogling her 17 year old daughter's backside.

According to this thread, over 15 is fair game.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/776468-mathayom-3-student-wins-thai-supermodel-2014/

one eyes in jail, the others on bail, not sayin she's cross eyed, but when she crys the tears run down her back..

[johninbkk]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Who's talking to you cockhead

Before we married, even living together in the early stages of our relationship I laid down the law, no one, but no one, family or friends can live with us. I said there will be times when we need to help out, Max 4 weeks stay.

10 years later, everything has run smoothly, well apart from handing out cash to keep them afloat every now and then.

Mum gets her (salary) and if her children need assistance she has a bank balance to assist.

It sounds like your in laws and leaches do not have a permanent residence, you may have to rent something for them. A long way away

I hope your wife can see the importance as this could destroy the union.

Good Luck

You mention that you have " laid down the law " but could you kindly explain to myself and all our Thai Visa Viewers at home - who actually pays " Mum's Salary " ..... ?

F.J alt=wai.gif width=20 height=20>

[Nowisee]

It's really sad when someone provides a better life for someone and they either don't appreciate it or they just take advantage of you by seeing how far they can take it by inviting family members over. Based on my experience many Thai women just can't seem to help themselves if given the opportunity of a good life, they always seem to screw it up somehow and this is a perfect case. There are too many women in Pattaya to settle down with one that makes you miserable and does not respect you, I know you value your marriage but everyday that you stay, it's a wasted day of happiness. good luck on your decision.

There's a way things should be and there's a way things are.

After you cut through all the posts and opinions, this is in line with my thinking. If you don't involve me in your decision making, that means you don't care what I think or value my existence. Therefore, I will find someone that does.

Assuming of course, this has all be explained and understood from day one. If not, then there's a whole nother issues there.

My stance is, I can take a few punches. After punch one, immediately express my feelings. After punch two, immediately express my feelings and explain some consequences. After punch three, begins preparations for moving on... punch four, eject... plane is crashing, self preservation.

Staying in a bad relationship only makes you unhappy and resentful. You may even begin to self-destruct.

[EmptyHead]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Yes, how dare she? As long as she gets a few baht
each month, she should just put up with her husband
ogling her 17 year old daughter's backside.

According to this thread, over 15 is fair game.
http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/776468-mathayom-3-student-wins-thai-supermodel-2014/

18 would be advisable for farang. Thais have their own seemingly complex rules on that.