Are you becoming a Reclusive, Aging, Hermit Expat?

[Benmart]

I prefer to live and let live. Being a hermit doesn't necessarily mean a person is unhappy. I know many people that are out and about everyday and are cold and hollow inside.

I am aging, yes.The body and mind is still moving and thinking a great deal. I have an expat friend here in Pattaya that just turned 78. He is out and about everyday and I cant keep track of his "social life" which he tells me a bout frequently.

For every "hermit", I suspect there are numerous others that are enjoying the time they have left on their limited itinerary.

[Toscano]

I have always been a country man , I prefer the open spaces and solitude . I live in a big Isaan village , with my beautiful middle aged wife whom I love , even though cultural and lingual communication is not so strong . We are surrounded by her kind and charming family .

My Thai best friend is my wife's ex husband . The wife head teacher of a school is autocratic and gives orders , which often create arguments . I don't stand for any nonsense , I often say to the ex , you did the right thing moving out . I'm 77 and do admit to becoming a bit of a Hermit , I have about 4 expat friends whom I see occasionally for a long chat . I do sometimes think of leaving Thailand , but cannot think of anywhere better to go . I'm British , but wouldn't return to cold wet Britain ; I lived a number of years in Tuscany , Italy and would return there ; but the EU has ruined Europe , Italy used to be so cheap for me . Wherever you live , life is much the same , I enjoy the warmth and sunshine in Thailand ; I'm not a flirt , but enjoy seeing pretty girls wherever I go ; the cost of living is well within my means , so no worries . Flying to another country is expensive and a lot of hassle . I have many friends via the internet , LushStories , with whom I'm in regular loving contact .

[laislica]

better be a hermit in los than boring old england.

Rangsit making more sense again. The old folks near me sit outside and watch the world goes by, eyeing your shopping bags,noting the time, nothing escapes their eyes.Life is a free reality show. Unfortunately in the UK the weather precludes that 90% of the time. Old folks are forced to stay indoors, stare at the walls or the idiot box.

People watching.

The same in Spain, many old guys sitting outside bars, in the shade,playing dominoes or just watching folk as they go about their business.

Maybe they drink the odd cup of coffee but the owner of the bar just accept that this is the way it is.

However, Spain has something that Thailand could use - 3rd Age Clubs, provided free by the local councils.

Subsidised lunches and drink.

Somewhere where old folk can meet each other.

They organise subsidised coach trips in the "off" seasons which helps to supply customers to the towns they visit.

They also arrange subsidised holidays for the retired.

Many have small but free gym's with simple machines to help maintain mobility.

Brilliant institutions.

We spend half the year in Spain and the other half in Thailand.

In Spain we live in a small seaside city, 10 mins walk to the beach.

In Thailand we live in the middle of nowhere, about 80 km west of Bangkok, not a bar or tourist in sight.

We have a nice 3 bed house and small garden.

The good thing is that my wife is part of a large family, if they were not near, I would be a hermit.

We do go on frequent trips to other parts of Thailand for holidays so it’s never boring.

My wife is a devout Buddhist so yes, we do visit a lot of temples.

(I would like to make the trip to Ang Wat but such a hassle needing another re-entry permit....)

I'm 73 and my wife is 53 and we have already completed the project that will provide my wife with a sufficient income after i depart so, I can rest easy.

In many ways, the decision to stay out of the main stream has huge advantages, no near Farang, no nearby bars or entertainment. No nearby massage parlours.

Thus no temptation to misbehave.

Alcohol is the medium that has always been involved when I have been up to mischief LOL

Out of sight, out of mind.

The only downside is perhaps the long flight between Madrid and Bangkok.

Other than that - Quite the best of both worlds and always summer LOL

Edited February 2, 2015 by laislica

[canarysun]

I guess it would be quite easy to fall into the life of " living like a hermit " I am a " free spirit " and i have found that i am a million times happier living on my own than being in a relationship.But i am quite strict with myself and i do not watch TV ( i don't own a TV ) and spend at least 8 hours outside in the sun everyday.I just couldn't sit in the room all day like many Thais seem to do and just " play on the mobile all day ".Also if you are an expat and sitting indoors all day watching TV then you might as well go back to your home country! I meet many people every day by just " strolling about " ( you don't need to go to a seedy bar ...) i talk to everybody ( i guess i am slightly eccentric viewers.....)

If you are an expat and worried about becoming a hermit then get rid of the TV now! you don't need it! and get out there and start " chatting in the soi " before you become labelled as " bloody miserable " .......

Respect to all our viewers....

F.J

[richusa]

Doing 1 more assignment here, and then adios......used to my cup of tea for many years (25)...stagnation Kills.......going to buy a motorhome in Oregon and tour the north and Canada in the summer. And southern states in the winter. When I get bored, I will head to Texas where my home is.

[dassyurus]

I am not bored or recluse. I have a piece of string I like to look at.

[Shaunduhpostman]

You're never alone. Especially If you live in a city, there's millions of people all around you, plenty of chances to get out and interact with others, even it is on a trivial level. You can even go to a pub or coffee shop where sometimes the appropriate moment comes when you might actually be able to strike up a conversation. Tho in Bangkok they are far and few between, various non-insane events are held, such as trade fairs, art openings, lectures, weekend classes, proper music events etc.

[strapper1]

I live in a rural area in the mountains north of Chiang Mai. When I was living in the Cascade mountains of the pacific northwest in the US, I was much more reclusive than I am in Thailand. People here, both farang and Thais seem to be much more friendly. I have learned, that the world is a mirror, I too, am becoming much more social, due to the fact that strangers actually say hello. Everybody needs some time alone, but no man is an island. I have 4 dogs that keep me company, I meditate ride a bicycle and try to meet new people whenever I can. Most people would probably consider my life boring, but I like it this way . I am 68 healthy and I am happy! PS: I can't believe Seattle blew the super bowl, they had the game (what a bad call by the coaches)

[sipi]

With several personalities, who need company.

[tirekicker]

Mister 350 Bench Press, I can spot your writing style anywhere. You're correct I have become a recluse especially over the last few years as my friends have returned to their homelands. Each day I look for the positive side of life and convince myself that it's not so bad here and am very lucky to have a good wife.

I think there are many other people in the same boat that maybe cannot cope so well with their situation and with a fear for what the future holds here in LOS.

[techboy]

if you have enough money to be self sufficient, there is nothing wrong with being a solitary expat if that is wahat you choose to be.

Garl-Dang!!! They just might have time to write 5122 posts if they recluse they-selves enough!

[thejcb]

better be a hermit in los than boring old england.

Far better to be in England than a hermit in the Far East..... what an existence..... living in an oven !!! You poor sods !

[thejcb]

I guess it would be quite easy to fall into the life of " living like a hermit " I am a " free spirit " and i have found that i am a million times happier living on my own than being in a relationship.But i am quite strict with myself and i do not watch TV ( i don't own a TV ) and spend at least 8 hours outside in the sun everyday.I just couldn't sit in the room all day like many Thais seem to do and just " play on the mobile all day ".Also if you are an expat and sitting indoors all day watching TV then you might as well go back to your home country! I meet many people every day by just " strolling about " ( you don't need to go to a seedy bar ...) i talk to everybody ( i guess i am slightly eccentric viewers.....)

If you are an expat and worried about becoming a hermit then get rid of the TV now! you don't need it! and get out there and start " chatting in the soi " before you become labelled as " bloody miserable " .......

Respect to all our viewers....

F.J

True eccentric's would never imagine they are "eccentric".... if you think you are a bit eccentric then you AIN'T nowhere near it !

[laislica]

better be a hermit in los than boring old england.

Far better to be in England than a hermit in the Far East..... what an existence..... living in an oven !!! You poor sods !

Do tell us Jcb, do you live in Thailand?

[NoshowJones]

On a recent trip to Pattaya I stayed in a Thai girlfriends condo building.

It was a old style cheap building with many old farang.

They used to leave their doors open probaly because they had no A/C and as i walked past everyday u could see them lying topless on their beds all day without venturing out of their small rooms.seemed such a sadvlonely life.

Topless???

Did you get any pictures, by any chance, to share with us?

Costas you should use your glasses...he wrote about the aging gents not the pretty young gals...

Gees, AYJAYDEE is going to love this.

[ExPratt]

Unless I'm out and about , I'm usually kipping by 8pm

[Rangsitreppin]

drinkin in my room in patong is fun .

So id drinking outside in the street .

So is passing out in the street and waking up with all my posessions and goods

[newatthis]

I turned 63 today and I'm pretty much a loner. I live near Ayutthaya and teach at a private school in that city. There are 20+ foreign teachers at the school that I see Monday to Friday. To be honest. the last thing I want to see in the evenings or at weekends are other ex-pats. I much prefer the company of my wife, the dog and cats and working in the garden. Others are different and neither is wrong; just different.

[purushanti]

When the time is right, solitude is an excellent catalyst to benefit from the Greek philosophy of "Know Thyself", which includes the process of identifying the false self of ego-mind-personality.

In India, traditionaly, the 4th and final stage of life ("ashrama", I think) is reclusive (tho 'some bring along their wives).

And if need be, one can balance this by inclluding some social activity.

Had to do some shopping today, and the worker was so sincerely interested in my well-being, I told her i did not feel alone at all, with peope lke her around.

Gracias a la vida!

[Jingthing]

Becoming?

[purushanti]

When the time is right, solitude is an excellent catalyst to benefit from the Greek philosophy of "Know Thyself", which includes the process of disidentifying from the false self of ego-mind-personality.

In India, traditionaly, the 4th and final stage of life ("ashrama", I think) is reclusive (tho 'some bring along their wives).

And if need be, one can balance this by inclluding some social activity.

Had to do some shopping today, and the worker was so sincerely interested in my well-being, I told her i did not feel alone at all, with peope lke her around.

Gracias a la vida!

(clarification of my earlier post today--if it is still there)

[Maggusoil]

On a recent trip to Pattaya I stayed in a Thai girlfriends condo building.

It was a old style cheap building with many old farang.

They used to leave their doors open probaly because they had no A/C and as i walked past everyday u could see them lying topless on their beds all day without venturing out of their small rooms.seemed such a sadvlonely life.

Topless???

Did you get any pictures, by any chance, to share with us?

Costas you should use your glasses...he wrote about the aging gents not the pretty young gals...

A case for gerontophiles anonymous. Right?

Now TV reckons there's something wrong with the spelling of this. However I believe it is spelled correctly. Rite? See? Rite's right?

[Jimbolai]

With all those web addresses at your finger tip there is no need for being lonely.

[HerbalEd]

if you have enough money to be self sufficient, there is nothing wrong with being a solitary expat if that is wahat you choose to be.

That is definitely not true for all "hermits." This lonely life can be a result of ... or it can create ... mental depression and a very sad life that often results in suicide.

[Jingthing]

if you have enough money to be self sufficient, there is nothing wrong with being a solitary expat if that is wahat you choose to be.

That is definitely not true for all "hermits." This lonely life can be a result of ... or it can create ... mental depression and a very sad life that often results in suicide.

So can bad relationships.

Pick your poison!

[canarysun]

I'm already reclusive in my early 50's. Why go out , it's too hot. I've got the hole world in front of me on my computer . (well the world minus the blocked sites ! ).

How can you come to live in Thailand,with this glorious weather outside which is perfect for an outdoor lifestyle of " bicycle rides,nice long walks in the sun,fab beaches and lovely parks for a stroll and you are sitting indoors on the computer! Surely you can do that anywhere in the world...?

Kind respect where due...

F.J

[StreetCowboy]

I'm already reclusive in my early 50's. Why go out , it's too hot. I've got the hole world in front of me on my computer . (well the world minus the blocked sites ! ).

How can you come to live in Thailand,with this glorious weather outside which is perfect for an outdoor lifestyle of " bicycle rides,nice long walks in the sun,fab beaches and lovely parks for a stroll and you are sitting indoors on the computer! Surely you can do that anywhere in the world...?

Kind respect where due...

F.J

Some people don't like sweltering in the baking heat.

SC

[ozyjon]

Excellent post, it gives me the confidence that if something

goes wrong i have a number to call, ten again if my name

was Hermann,, could i be regarded as a Hermann crab as

opposed to a Hermit crab,,,,,, i wonder.

Hermann The Crab

[Jip99]

better be a hermit in los than boring old england.

Far better to be in England than a hermit in the Far East..... what an existence..... living in an oven !!! You poor sods !

Do tell us Jcb, do you live in Thailand?

....... or ever been to Thailand ?

[redandyellow]

So your only options are leave or stay here even though you hate it?

What about those of us who stay because we like it?

I suspect there are many in your class, like village farang for example, who has been in Thailand for ages.

It often depends on the Thai woman you end up with, it's as simple as that..

I'll bet village farang would concur